Introduction:
The Humility of Loudmouth Know-it-all Asshole Atheists
Siegfried, Roy, Montecore, Penn, and Leather Pants
The Bible’s Second Commandment
Pastor Shirley, My Mom and Dad, Lesbians, and Jesus Christ
Auto-Tune, Tattoos, and Big Fake Tits 48
Preach to Me and Pray for Me—Please!
Agnostics: No One Can Know for Sure but I Believe They’re Full of Shit
The Bible’s Fourth Commandment
Learning to Fly, Strip, and Vomit on a 727
Supreme Court Justice Ron Jeremy
I Also Couldn’t Get Laid in a Women’s Prison with a Fistful of Pardons
Passing Down the Joy of Not Collecting Stamps
Why I’m a Libertarian Nut Instead of Just a Nut
The Three Dogmas That Hurt Americans Most
Jamie Gillis: April 20, 1943–February 19, 2010
Penn’s Bacon and a Kiss Airlines
The Bible’s Seventh Commandment
Pitching Bullshit While in Mourning
The Bible’s Eighth Commandment
Maybe That Thief Kreskin Will Sue Me This Time
In America, Noblesse Oblige Isn’t Just for Noblemen
Would This Seem Crazy If You Read It in a Book?
It’s Not the Heat, It’s the Stupidity
You Could Be Bruce Springsteen
“Things Like This Don’t Happen to Normal People”: The Greatest Story Ever Told
Afterword:
Atheism Is the Only Real Hope Against Terrorism:
There Is No God (but Allah)