lillianrhode

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blandine_rmz Why are y desactivating your comments ?

Lily drops the bouquet of flowers she had quickly bought in the hospital floral shop. She had rushed to the hospital after pushing Chris into the pool, promising her Uber driver a big tip if he got her to Cedars fast.

It hits her so much harder than seeing them kiss in the extended Platinum Triangle trailer. There’s no way to trick her mind now. Joel’s arm around Hailey’s back, pulling her closer to him as he lies in his hospital bed and kisses her: it isn’t a part of the show. Joel and Hailey aren’t characters. They’re real people. With a real story.

The rose petals squish on the soles of her shoes as she runs down the hospital corridor and outside. She calls an Uber and tries not to cry in the backseat, staring out the window at the palm tree–lined street, the razor-sharp fronds blowing in the wind like they might come flying loose and slice off your head.

She gets her Uber driver to take her to the beach so she can clear her head. She stands at the edge of the water and remembers the night after Brandon’s party, when she and Joel ran into the ocean together, kissing for the first time, their lips salty from the water and from Joel’s tears. Lily tips her face up to the sun and closes her eyes. Sometimes she wonders if she’d be happier if she had never come to Beverly Hills.

But when Lily gets back to the Paleys’ house an hour later, she knows it wouldn’t be any easier if she were still on her own, struggling to pay rent on the trailer, with no one to love or love to hate her. She’d rather have had this brief romance with Joel that made her feel so happy to be herself than fall asleep every night wishing she could be someone else.

Lily goes straight to the pool house, closes the door behind her, and leans against it. She buries her face in her hands. She’s about to let herself break down and cry when a voice across the room surprises her.

“Hey, you okay?”

Lily drops her hands. Idris is sitting on the couch flipping through the Bettina Rheims book on the coffee table.

“What are you doing here?” Lily asks.

“I know we’re done our lessons. But I miss hanging out with you.” Idris looks shyly at Lily.

“You okay?” he asks again. “You look kind of pale. Maybe you should sit down.”

Lily collapses next to him on the couch.

“You wanna talk about it?” Idris asks.

She opens her mouth but no words come out. Her mind is spinning.

“No.” Lily slowly turns her head toward Idris. “I don’t want to talk.”