SOMEHOW LUNCH WITH Livvie and Simon ended up as a trip to Bainbridge Island on the ferry. They ate at a restaurant overlooking the Puget Sound while Rachel told them about different sights on the island, including Bloedel Reserve, a public garden that spanned a hundred and fifty acres. Livvie was so excited, Rachel agreed to explore it with them.
“This place is amazing,” Simon said as they visited different sections of the reserve. “I had no idea there was so much to see on Bainbridge Island.”
“I haven’t been here since I was eleven, though I wrote a paper about Mr. Bloedel in high school,” Rachel explained. “How did you end up in Washington, anyway? I’ve got the impression you grew up on the East Coast.”
“I lived in Maryland until I was eleven, then it was Chicago.”
“Daddy met Mommy on a business trip,” Livvie chirped. “He says it was love at first sight. They got married after just a week. Isn’t that splendid?”
“Yes, it was.” Rachel cast a sideways glance at Simon.
He’d mentioned his marriage had been fast, but a week? She wouldn’t have thought he believed in love at first sight, so the attraction must have been extraordinarily powerful to knock his cynical distrust for a loop.
Livvie skipped ahead on the trail and they lengthened their stride to keep her in view.
“This is quite a place,” Simon commented, obviously trying to direct the subject away from personal matters. “We should have got a picnic and eaten here.”
“Picnics aren’t allowed. I think the idea is for visitors to simply connect with nature. Mr. Bloedel was a lumberman and this became his legacy.”
Simon didn’t say anything for a long minute. “Well, thanks to you, Liv’s legacy may survive for our daughter.”
A rush of conflicting emotions caught Rachel by surprise, anger, sorrow...regret. It wouldn’t be easy to continue being friends with Simon, knowing there would never be anything more between them. He’d called Olivia the love of his life and was devoted to her memory.
Another woman couldn’t compete with that.
“I just did what you asked,” Rachel said lightly, resisting the urge to add that she’d done what he was paying her to do. It could come off as confrontational and she didn’t want to get into a disagreement on such a nice day.
“You did more than I thought was possible. By the way, I hired the two designers we talked about last Friday. They’re going to work on storyboards and technical flats for the next collection at a temporary location. I didn’t want to expose them to Janine and Miriam while they’re still here to finish the current line.”
“I see. You know, the funding you gave to medical research is another legacy.”
Simon appeared to tense, then relax. “Thankfully Livvie doesn’t have a genetic predisposition for what took her mother, but I still thought it was important for her future.”
“It’s important for a lot of children’s futures. I suspect you’re a softy at heart and don’t want to admit it, just like Rocky and Binx.”
“Hardly. They’re neutered and I’m not.”
Rachel smiled at his joke.
Just then they reached a wilder section of the reserve and it was as beautiful and raw as she remembered. In his own way, Prentice Bloedel had been an artist, with the northwest landscape as his canvas.
“Eeyoooh,” Livvie exclaimed. “Look, Daddy.” She pointed to a huge olive green slug creeping along a decaying log.
“That’s a banana slug,” Rachel told her softly. “They’re an important part of the forest.”
“It’s icky.”
Simon crouched next to his daughter. “Not to another banana slug. He’s probably a very handsome fellow to a lady slug.”
Rachel remembered that banana slugs weren’t strictly male or female, but it wasn’t important. “Livvie, did you know banana slugs can be bright yellow? Sometimes they have spots on the yellow.”
“Like a banana.”
“That’s right. Like a ripe banana.”
It was a while before Livvie lost interest in the slug. Her fascination with the great outdoors seemed boundless and Rachel wondered if she’d ever visited a place where nature ruled.
“This is nice,” Simon whispered, his voice almost reverential.
“It is. It truly is.” Rachel undid the top buttons of her coat, feeling warm despite the chilly breeze. “I’ve noticed how much Livvie loves the lake and nature in general. If she becomes a designer, she may want a studio out in the woods. She might even end up in sportswear, rather than high fashion.”
Simon grinned and Rachel was glad he knew she was teasing.
“Could be. Who knows?”
SIMON LOOKED AT his daughter, thinking she was rarely interested in the balcony garden attached to the condo, but he had to admit, it seemed more like an imitation than the real thing.
“We need to visit spots like this more often,” he said.
“I know what you mean. In Los Angeles you can’t go anywhere without being surrounded by crowds. Even the beach is covered with people. Here there are places so quiet, you could believe you’re the only person for miles.”
“Luckily a coffee shop isn’t that far away.”
Rachel chuckled. “That’s because you’re addicted to having a barista on every street corner. Did you love coffee this much before moving to the Northwest?”
“I had my moments.”
After another hour Simon suggested they call it a day. Livvie was getting tired and he didn’t want Rachel to overtax her leg. She was so proud and stubborn she probably wouldn’t tell him if it was hurting more than usual.
“How about dinner at the Just Like Home Café?” he asked as they rode the ferry back to Seattle.
“That isn’t necessary.”
“I didn’t say it was necessary, I asked if you wanted to eat with us. We had an active afternoon in cold, fresh air, and I keep thinking about the mulligan stew I saw on the café’s menu.”
Rachel made a scoffing noise. “Have you ever eaten stew?”
“No, but the meat loaf sandwich was good and I’m open to new experiences. We can go straight to the Carthage and walk to the café. In the morning I’ll give you a ride to Moonlight Ventures when I take Livvie to school.”
“Please come, Rachel,” Livvie pleaded.
“You aren’t playing fair, asking in front of her,” Rachel said sotto voce.
He grinned. “I didn’t know she was listening.”
THOUGH RACHEL QUESTIONED the wisdom of spending even more time with Simon and Livvie, she enjoyed the meal. But it was too much like being a family, and she didn’t want to start hoping for more.
When they were walking back toward the Carthage, she noticed a long limousine parked in the loading zone in front of the building.
“We don’t see many limos in this neighborhood. I wonder who it is,” she mused.
A moment later the driver opened the back door. Simon growled something under his breath as the passenger emerged.
“Somebody you know?” Rachel asked.
“You could say that. What are you doing here?” he called to the other man. “And how did you get this address?”
“I have my ways. You wouldn’t return my calls. What else was I supposed to do?”
Simon turned to her. “Rachel, would you take Livvie up to your condo?” The urgency in his voice was unmistakable.
“Of course.” She held out her hand to Livvie. “Let’s go upstairs, hon.”
“Just a minute. We haven’t been introduced,” the newcomer declared, stepping into their path and staring at Rachel. “I’m Richard Kessler, and you’re positively delicious.”
Richard Kessler, as in Simon’s father?
Rachel narrowed her eyes. Richard might think he was being charming, but the fact he didn’t even glance at his granddaughter appalled her.
“You’re in my way,” she said coolly.
“Come now, I know I’ve seen you before. I heard Simon call you Rachel. Don’t I get more than that?”
“It’s Rachel Clarion. Good night.”
“Ah, yes. Clarion. You used to be a model.” His quick gaze seemed to flick all over her body, but most especially her face. “A lifetime of great nights would never be enough with you, gorgeous. How would you like to fly to Paris for breakfast?”
Ugh. Simon’s mother must have been very young and impressionable to fall for him. While Richard was a handsome man who wore his age well, he positively oozed snake oil.
“I wouldn’t cross the street with you,” Rachel said crisply. “Come along, sweetie.”
Livvie seemed confused, but she obediently walked into the Carthage lobby. “Who is that, Rachel?”
“Somebody your daddy knows.” Rachel punched the elevator button and it immediately opened.
“But his name is Kessler, too.”
“It’s, uh, really complicated. Ask your daddy when he gets here.” She pressed the button for the second floor and was grateful when the elevator closed and the car moved upward. For once the small space didn’t bother her. She was just grateful to get away from the slimy jerk downstairs.
Once they were inside the condo, she locked the door and wished she could take a shower. No wonder Simon disliked his father so much. They didn’t share a single shred of common ground as far she was concerned.
Binx regarded Livvie warily, but he didn’t move...probably because he felt safe on the floor-to-ceiling cat tree Rachel had got installed over the weekend.
“Livvie, do you want to watch Finding Nemo again?” she asked. She’d purchased a handful of child-friendly movies when Livvie stayed with her the first time.
“Okay.”
Soon she was settled on the couch, her eyelids drooping as the animated film began to play.
Rachel got out a patchwork quilt her grandmother had made and tucked it around Livvie before sitting down herself...all the while wondering what was happening on the street below.
SIMON SENT A hard look at Richard. He hadn’t seen his father since shortly after his marriage, and had never expected to see him again. “As I said, why are you here?”
Richard spread his hands. “Is it a crime to miss my son? I wanted to see you.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Surely you don’t think I’m holding a grudge because you took over my company? I made money on the deal. I told you that when I met your wife.”
“And then promptly insulted her.”
Richard snorted. “It’s no insult to tell a woman she’s attractive. But Olivia had nothing on that sweet little number you were just with. I never forget a beautiful woman. She’s the model who got her face messed up a few years ago, right? Wouldn’t know it to look at her.”
“Leave Rachel out of this.”
“Hey, it’s no skin off my nose if you want a trophy wife. Your mother divorced me a few months ago, so I’m looking for one myself.”
Simon shook his head. He’d heard enough. “Karen isn’t my mother, but she’s a decent woman, and I’m glad she’s free of you.”
“I loved Karen. I gave her everything she wanted,” Richard spit, suddenly looking enraged. “How dare she leave me?”
“Seriously? She wanted a philandering husband who forced her to adopt the child he’d fathered with another woman? Oh, yeah, that’s every woman’s dream of a loving spouse.”
If possible, Richard looked angrier. “You’re forgetting that I took you out of a crappy three-bedroom ranch house and gave you a mansion to live in. I could have left you where I found you.”
“I wish you had,” Simon returned with quiet intensity. “My foster parents were good people who cared about me. The only reason you dragged me out of there was from a deluded idea of dynasty, to get a son to carry on your name. Except maybe now with Karen gone and old age creeping up your neck, you’re hoping to find someone who cares, so you won’t die alone with only strangers to take care of you.”
Richard seemed to shrink, to instantly become an old man.
“There...there’s nothing wrong with wanting my son in my life,” he mumbled.
“Go home,” Simon told him. “It takes more than genetics or a legal document to make someone a father.”
“What about my granddaughter?”
Richard sounded almost desperate, but Simon hardened his resolve.
“It’s Livvie I’m thinking about. She’s loving and innocent and I can’t take the chance you’d hurt her, the way you hurt my mother and the rest of us.”
He turned and walked into the Carthage.
On the second floor Simon tapped on Rachel’s door. She opened it after a moment and put a finger to her lips.
“Come in. Livvie’s asleep. She dropped off, practically the minute she sat in front of the television. I know you try to limit how much TV she watches, but—”
“It’s fine. I’ve started easing up on it, anyway. Now that she’s going to school, she keeps hearing about television programs the other kids are watching. It obviously made her feel left out and different.”
“I suppose child rearing is a constant balancing act.”
Simon wanted to pull Rachel close and let her warmth drive away the chill inside. Seeing Richard had been completely unexpected, and was all the worse because Livvie and Rachel were there to witness it.
“I’m sorry.” Simon kept his voice low as they went into the kitchen, close enough to keep an eye on Livvie, and far enough away to talk quietly. “There’s no excuse for Richard. He thought we were involved, and he still hit on you. Can you believe that?”
Rachel put a kettle onto the stove and turned on the burner. “You have nothing to apologize for, though if I’d kicked him the way he deserved, you might have enjoyed seeing him writhe on the ground. Believe me, I was tempted.”
A chuckle escaped Simon’s tight chest. “That would have been something to watch. As it turns out, Karen finally divorced him. He’s in his midseventies now and I figure he’s starting to wonder who will be there when age catches up. He should have paid more attention to that bumper sticker—‘Be nice to your kids, they pick your nursing home.’”
“Don’t worry about him. He’ll have lawyers, accountants and household staff,” Rachel said promptly. “Probably a revolving set, since I can’t see anyone putting up with his garbage for long. Would you like a cup of tea?”
“Sure.”
He watched her supple movements as she took a tin of loose-leaf tea from the cupboard. Soon they were sitting at the breakfast bar. Simon tapped the handle of his steaming cup, still brooding.
“I don’t know why I let Richard get to me, but I told him to leave and not come back. Things might be different if it was just me, but I can’t take the chance he’d hurt Livvie.”
“He gets to you because of the what-ifs,” Rachel said softly. “What if he’d supported your mother after getting her pregnant? What if he’d become a better person, and that’s why he brought you home? What if he didn’t see people as commodities, to be bought and sold and leered at? But the sad truth is, there’s something vital, something good, missing inside him.”
“What if I’m missing the same thing?” Simon asked.
Rachel put her hand over his. “You aren’t,” she whispered. “You really aren’t.”
Simon just hoped it was true.
MATT HAD LOVED it when Gemma started regularly stopping by the studio to say hi or so they could have lunch together. She was still on vacation from her job as a nanny and he’d miss seeing her as often when she returned to work.
But even if they eventually ended up getting married, she couldn’t spend her days popping in on him. She’d get her degree and do other things, like teaching or becoming a voice-over star.
Her frequents visits had led Sherrie and Tara to tease him about his “new girlfriend.” He didn’t mind. “Pride goes before a fall” was a proverb his grandfather often quoted, but it was just as true now as when it had been first coined. Gemma was too special to let his pride get in the way of something amazing.
He kept thinking about Gemma’s assertion that he judged people unfairly by the way they acted around him. It was uncomfortably close to the truth. He had put people at a distance, including his own family.
Was it because he’d felt sorry for himself, thinking they couldn’t understand what it was like to be blind?
Possibly.
What he’d forgotten was that nobody could fully grasp how someone else felt. It was a simple, universal truth.
Gemma had reminded him that perspective was important. It might take a while to let go of his expectations, but there would be freedom in it, too.
“Hey, it’s me,” said Gemma’s voice, breaking him out of his reverie. “Tara told me you didn’t have anyone in the live studio.”
“Yeah, my last recording session is done for the day.” Matt put his hand up and she caught it. “Want to go get dinner?”
“Maybe I could fix something for us at your place.”
An automatic refusal sprang to his mouth, but he choked it down. There was nothing unusual about a woman wanting to prepare a meal for her boyfriend, and since Gemma lived in the Kesslers’ condo, it was only logical to offer to do it at his apartment.
“Sure, unless you’d rather eat out.”
“You may wish we’d eaten out,” she said, half laughing. “I’m not much in the kitchen, but I can make scrambled eggs and Mickey Mouse pancakes like no other nanny in Seattle. I hope you like basic breakfast food. That’s my specialty.”
Matt got up, a grin growing on his face. “I’m a fair cook, but my fridge is bare. Let’s go to the grocery store, and I’ll fix dinner for you.”
“That sounds good.”
“Great. Pepper, come.” Pepper promptly scrambled out from under the table.
Underlying the offer to prepare dinner was the knowledge Gemma would be driving. Until now they’d eaten at restaurants or the deli near the studio. Insisting on a taxi or taking the access van would be absurd, so he took hold of the golden retriever’s harness and turned to Gemma.
“How large is the back seat of your car? Pepper is a pretty big girl.”
“It’s a four-door, so she should fit. With your long legs, you may be more uncomfortable than she is. Mr. Kessler bought it for me when we came back to Seattle so I could drive Livvie to school and back. He offered to get me a car in New York, but the traffic is so frenetic, I couldn’t imagine driving there.”
“He sounds like a decent employer.”
“Some people don’t like him, but he’s been nice to me. I didn’t want to leave Washington, but he was devastated when his wife died and I couldn’t say no, mostly because I couldn’t abandon Livvie.”
Matt wondered if it was too soon in their relationship to ask whether Gemma wanted a family. He hadn’t thought much about children. Now he felt the time might be right. Still, the biggest question might be how she’d feel about having kids with a man who couldn’t even drive them to school or the doctor’s office.
GEMMA SAW MATT’S mouth flatten and knew something was churning inside his head.
“What’s bothering you?” she asked. “If you don’t want to eat at home, we can grab a sandwich or something.”
“It isn’t that. I was just thinking what a big responsibility it is to have children.”
“Oh. Sure. But somebody has to do it or the human race will die out.”
“Does that mean you want a family?”
She bit the inside of her lip. It was still difficult for her to speak her mind. “If I say yes, will that scare you away?”
“I’m more worried about scaring you away.”
A warm confidence filled her. “Don’t you think if that could happen, it would have already? I’m like the cowardly lion who found its courage. You aren’t getting rid of me easily.”
Matt chuckled and pulled her close for a kiss. “I’m glad. Okay, I’ll say it first. I’d love to have kids. But I’m also aware that it wouldn’t be easy.”
“Nothing worthwhile is easy. So we’re on the same page when it comes to having a family. Can we get on the same page for dinner? ’Cause I’m hungry.” She kept her tone light. Neither one of them was ready for a commitment, though her heart was screaming for more than just a casual relationship with Matt.
“Sure. How about steak and salad? That’s fast and simple.”
“It sounds perfect. Let’s go.”