Chapter Eighteen

Gideon sat in the lobby, stunned in the wake of Georgia. When he couldn’t take more of his ex-classmates’ wide-eyed stares and whispers, he headed out the back entrance of the hotel toward the pool.

At the very least, he could be alone. He sat on a chaise and called Kurt; might as well get the bad news out of the way. The deal was in jeopardy unless they hired a prostitute for the dinner with Richard, or Kurt put on that blond wig.

How could Gideon have been so stupid? The dinner and Say! should have been his only focus. His only aim should have been keeping Georgia at arm’s length to ensure she would go through with the dinner and keep the investment afloat. Instead he’d been stupid enough to fall for her, to believe she was falling for him. To believe the lies they were telling.

Having faith in Georgia had been his fault. He might be furious with her for lying to Kim, but he was the one who had ultimately believed. Considering the fantasies he’d had about Georgia in high school, he’d been fooling himself for years.

But he couldn’t believe her that morning. She might have claimed she was about to tell Kim, but he couldn’t see past the Georgia she used to be in order to accept it.

Kurt’s number went to voicemail. He tapped the end button and shoved his phone back into his pocket. He wasn’t about to leave a message.

Sorry but I totally fucked up our shot with Richard because I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants. I was stupid enough to believe a woman who never had a decent bone in her body had changed into someone I could be with. Had become someone who wanted to be with me.

He stared at the quiet water and couldn’t help rewinding back to him and Georgia frolicking in it just the day before.

Kurt was going to kill him.

Gideon had done more than mix business with pleasure. He’d made pleasure far more important than business, let the way he felt when he was with Georgia blind him from everything else. His single-mindedness would make it so not only was his career ruined, but he would never be with her again.

It shouldn’t have bothered him, but it did. She was the hardest thing to lose in all of this, because he’d actually cared about her, believed she had the capacity to care about him.

What a sap.

He heard footsteps pounding on the cement patio surrounding the pool and lifted his head to find Brandon—walking toward him. His signature blond curls were wet. He wore a Jets T-shirt. Jesus, did the guy have a closet full of them?

Gideon wished he could have dove into the pool and held his breath for hours.

What the fuck did Brandon want?

“If you’re looking for Georgia,” Gideon managed, sitting up straighter, “she’s not here.”

Brandon took a seat on the chaise next to him. “I’m looking for you, man.”

In high school, Gideon would have been nervous with Brandon so close, but not after that morning. Not after he saw that Gilligan still had the power to pull him right back to who he’d been. Going forward he would be only the man he was now. He would simply leave his past behind like he had been able to before this weekend, before Georgia.

“Here I am.” Gideon opened his arms in invitation. Whatever shit Brandon was about to offer could not be worse than what he was already feeling.

Brandon stared at his clasped hands; they were as big as footballs, which Gideon supposed made sense. “You and Georgia, huh?”

“No,” Gideon blurted. “Me and Georgia, no.”

“Sorry, I must be confused. I heard you guys had a fight.”

Gideon fixed his gaze on the pool. The color reminded him of Georgia’s eyes when her tears started. He had to look away. “Why the hell is everyone so interested in what Georgia and I are doing?”

“It’s exactly like high school. Why is anyone interested in anything anyone is doing? Their own lives aren’t fulfilling enough.”

“Why are you here?” Gideon fumed, fisting his hands at his sides. Whatever Brandon’s motives were, he was sure they couldn’t be good. He wasn’t afraid of Brandon’s bullying anymore, but that didn’t mean he wanted to talk to him. “Did Georgia ask you to tell me to stay away from her? If it’s something you’re finally reprising on your own, you’re a little late.” Bitterness filled his mouth. “You were supposed to notice her two days ago.”

Brandon loosened his grip on his hands, sat back. “I figured that out right away, though you guys did have me convinced for about ten seconds.”

So it had all been worthless. They had been pretending for Brandon for no reason at all. But they hadn’t been pretending. Each touch and kiss and word between them had been real.

Not that it mattered now.

“Trust me,” Brandon continued, “I probably would have gone for it if I hadn’t already started something with…” He cleared his throat. “Georgia was my first love. Those feelings don’t just evaporate. ”

“So what do you want then?” Gideon sighed.

“I thought I could help,” Brandon offered. “I’ve been at the other end of Georgia’s bullshit. I know how it feels.”

Brandon didn’t have a clue. Georgia had never been out of Brandon’s reach and then someone he never wanted to let go of. He could not at all understand the complex tug-of-war occurring in Gideon’s chest right now, the rip and mend and rip of his heart. But it wasn’t like he had anyone else to talk to.

“Why would you want to help me?” Gideon finally asked.

“I figure I owe you something for what a dick I used to be,” Brandon admitted.

Gideon exhaled a laugh. “I’d say you owe me more than something.”

“That’s why I’m here. You and Georgia belong together. From what I saw this weekend, she seems to really like you—”

“As you already know, we acted that way for you,” Gideon interrupted, not wanting to hear any more. “So you would get jealous.” Gideon couldn’t say she didn’t really like me. He remembered Georgia’s eyes, the eyes he’d vowed he wanted to lock onto when he made her wail his name. There was tenderness there, a fierceness of need that went beyond their tryst. He truly saw his past, present, and future reflected in her gaze. Could she really have been that good of a liar?

Brandon shook his head, his broad shoulders bowed. “I know Georgia better than anyone. I know the way she used to be with me. That was the way she was with you. She seemed even more into you than me.”

“She’s an actress,” Gideon muttered, even though he’d just had the same thought. “I think she could fool you.”

“Maybe, but I doubt she was fooling herself.”

Gideon let those words settle. Fine, he could admit that it seemed as if Georgia had really liked him, but it was too late now. He’d said terrible things to her that he could never take back. He couldn’t just say he was sorry to Georgia for calling her a frigid bitch or, even worse, a failure. Those words had the power to stay, especially when they were the persona Georgia believed she’d been able to leave behind, when they were what she was running from even now. But he’d been able to forget things Georgia had said to him ten years ago. Even without her apology, he’d been able to ignore it all for her.

“Georgia might seem like she’s all on the surface,” Brandon continued, “but there’s a lot going on underneath. A lot she hides.”

“Right.” Gideon knew that all too well. He remembered the words he’d offered her when they were at Hannah’s, the words she’d offered him right back. None of that had been a lie, but none of it had been enough, either. Neither one of them could admit how much they were both still hurting, still carrying their pasts on their shoulders.

“Once she lost her mom,” Brandon started, “she kind of spiraled out. I mean I’m sure she’s better now, but you never really recover from something like that. You never stop trying to find approval from other people to fill what you’re missing.”

Could that have been what had happened with Kim? Was Georgia just trying to live up to what Kim expected? Even though her body, her heart, had led her straight to Gideon.

Gideon managed a dry laugh. “Dude, are you a psychologist or a football player?”

“I really loved her in high school,” Brandon continued, ignoring him. “I tried to help her. I did a lot of reading about grief—”

“You did a lot of reading?” Gideon interrupted, shock in his voice.

It was quickly tempered by Brandon’s heated gaze. “Yes. I might play football, but I do know how to read.”

He shouldn’t have been surprised. Brandon was here talking to him, trying to help him.

Gideon cleared his throat. “Of course, I’m sorry.” He was judging Brandon just like he’d been judged in high school. The same way he’d believed Georgia still saw him after hearing her lie this morning. If he’d been wrong about Brandon, could he be wrong about Georgia? Perhaps he was the one who couldn’t see her any differently, not the other way around. Georgia might have started this weekend with another man in her sights, but that was not how she’d ended it, even if he couldn’t bring himself to believe it.

“Anyway, I learned that I couldn’t be the one to make Georgia better. Only she could.”

Gideon nodded solemnly. “I think it’s still that way.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t try.” Brandon stared at the pool. “I let her go, man. After graduation, I knew she was planning to move to L.A. and I thought she wouldn’t go through with it. She did, and then she was gone.”

“The guy who used to tell me he’d cut my dick off if I breathed in Georgia’s direction is insisting I go after her now?”

He shrugged. “People change.” Brandon glanced at his phone. “I’m supposed to be fetching breakfast right now for a woman who showed me that.” His smile was sheepish as he rose. “Listen, all I’m saying is she’s worth it. I know it might not seem that way to you right now, but she is.”

Brandon left Gideon with those words. They were words he knew—words that had been bubbling up inside him all weekend.

She was worth it—together, they both were. He just wasn’t sure how to show her that now, or if he ever could.