Toby’s lips brushed against hers, soft and light—a teasing touch that woke up parts of her that had long stayed dormant. Her heart pounded so hard it ached, and she couldn’t remember the last time breathing had hurt like this. It turned out to be the best kind of pain she’d ever felt.
Her grasp on control slipping, Jane let herself fall into the kiss, into Toby, following the rhythm of his lips. She opened her mouth to him, and his tongue stroked hers while he placed a hand on her hip, hitching her body closer to his.
The feel of his strength against her electrified every nerve ending, making her tingle from the inside out. A tantalizing pressure built inside of her, settling low in her stomach. She pressed against him, forgetting about the grass and the bats and their history. Toby had learned a thing or two about kissing since high school.
“Sorry to interrupt.”
Jane broke away from the kiss, away from Toby, rolling onto her back to find herself staring up at her brother. Perfect. Wes was going to have a field day with this.
“Can we help you?” Toby was still turned on his side facing her.
“I came to help you.” Her brother gazed down at them with his arms crossed and amusement flickering on his lips. “You left me a message that you had some kind of crisis?” His eyebrows peaked. “I got all worried and rushed over here, but now I can see things are under control.”
Jane couldn’t hold back a laugh. That image of Toby trying to drag the bag of bats out of the barn was going to stick with her for a while. “You didn’t have to worry. I rescued him.”
“I can see that.” Her brother made a grossed-out face. “Whatever’s happening here is something I couldn’t have helped with.”
“Definitely not,” Toby agreed.
Jane sat up.
“You gonna kiss him and bolt again?” Wes asked her.
Jane huffed. If only she’d had a sister. Sisters never embarrassed each other in front of a hot cowboy.
“Yeah.” Toby peered at her face as though trying to gauge his chances of keeping her there. “You gonna run out on me again?”
She rolled her eyes up to stare at the sky, seriously considering a fast sprint. Although she wasn’t sure she could run right now even if she tried. Her knees had gone too soft. “Maybe in a few minutes.” Even with her heart racing this way, she knew enough not to read anything into that kiss. It was sexual attraction, pure and simple. Nothing more. They were too different, and he’d all but admitted he didn’t want to deal with anything real. In the moment, he made it too easy for her to forget that.
“So, what was the big crisis about?” Wes kicked some mud off his boot, nearly flinging it onto her face. “What disaster could’ve possibly ended with you two making out in the grass?”
Jane pushed up to her feet, not missing Toby’s disappointed frown. “Toby’s afraid of bats,” she teased to deflect the attention away from that kiss.
Her big, tough older brother made a face. “I don’t blame him. Bats are creepy.”
“You provoke bulls for a living,” Jane reminded Wes. And in his free time, he also regularly went skydiving or white-water rafting or heliskiing. And then there was Toby. Willingly climbing on the back of an angry bull. “In fact, both of you seem to have some kind of death wish.” They had that adrenaline junkie thing in common.
“Not a death wish.” Toby stood, his eyes locked on hers. “It’s more of a drive to experience life.”
That made no sense…
“And bulls aren’t rabid.” Wes searched the sky like he half expected a bat to fly at him right then.
“Well, not to worry.” Jane dusted off her hands, quite proud of herself. “I took care of the bats for you both. They won’t bother you boys again.”
“Sweet.” Her brother started to walk away. “Guess I’ll see you two later tonight for the shindig then.”
Toby scrambled off the ground and chased him down. “Now that you’re here, I could use some help finishing the party prep.”
“Finishing?” Jane called him out with a look. “I didn’t see any tables or chairs set up in there.” He had a lot to pull together in six hours to make this party successful.
“I have a plan.”
Jane didn’t doubt that one bit. “I can help,” she offered. “For Beth’s sake, I don’t want this party to end up a total disaster.”
“No, no. We made a deal.” Toby prodded her away. “The barn was my idea and I’ll take care of everything.”
“Except for bats.” It was too easy when he set her up like that.
“Maybe I didn’t need your help. Maybe I just wanted to check you out in those jeans,” he shot back.
Despite herself, she couldn’t help smiling as she headed to her car.
* * *
Jane had never in her life obsessed about what to wear. She’d always kept her wardrobe simple. Practical. Mainly sticking to blacks and whites for work, jeans and T-shirts or yoga pants for home, she’d never put much thought into making a statement with her clothes.
Maybe that was why it was taking her an hour to get dressed for Beth’s party. Currently, she sat on a pile of discarded clothes on her bed wearing only her bra and underwear, which was beginning to feel like a good option for tonight compared to everything else she’d tried on. It bugged her that she even cared. She’d spent the afternoon writing again—swept up in the story, but also in the romance. It was pure coincidence that she’d written Amos and Celeste’s first-kiss scene right after kissing Toby. Also happenstance that it might very well have been one of the best scenes she’d ever written. Okay, fine. She flopped to her back on the mattress and stared up at the ceiling. She couldn’t deny that Toby made her feel a little more…inspired. But she wouldn’t let herself forget that he inspired a lot of women.
She turned back to the pile of clothes beside her. A lot of their old high school acquaintances would be attending the party tonight, and she couldn’t deny that she wanted to look different than the girl she’d been in high school. She glanced at the clock for the fifteenth time in a half hour. Great. She was ten minutes late and she still hadn’t decided what to wear.
From her position on the bed, she analyzed her mostly empty closet. Rather than lug two suitcases through the airport, she’d opted to pack simply, but now that had backfired. Maybe something would magically appear. A dress? A fairy godmother and some pumpkin coach drivers?
A knock at the door incited panic. Ugh. She really was late. “Hold on!” She leapt off the bed and flailed to put on her robe, tying the belt tight around her waist before she ran down the hall and opened the door.
Her mother stood out on the porch looking effortlessly lovely in a flowered sundress trimmed with lace and a pair of red cowboy boots that were scuffed in all the right places. The woman knew how to make style look easy. Somehow that gene had completely skipped Jane.
“You’re not dressed yet?” Her mother checked her watch. Ever since she’d taken over running the ranch and had become a wedding coordinator, she seemed to be slightly obsessed with being on time. “We were supposed to be down there ten minutes ago.”
“I know.” Jane led the way back to the bedroom and plopped down onto Mount Clothes again. “I haven’t been able to find anything to wear.” Somehow the understated skirts and tops she’d packed for the wedding events didn’t appeal to her as much as they used to. Tonight, she needed something…spicier.
“Whoa.” Her mother walked into the room and surveyed the situation. “Are you actually obsessing over what to wear?”
“Maybe.” The shock on her mother’s face only proved this was new territory for her. There’d been a day when her mother would’ve loved for Jane to obsess over what to wear. She’d tried to buy her clothes, but Jane had usually opted for comfortable and practical. Much to her mother’s dismay.
“I have the perfect dress for you!” Her mother clapped her hands. “You have to wear it honey. It’ll look so beautiful on you!”
“Fine.” She stood, resigned to her fate. At this point, Jane would’ve agreed to put on a muumuu and knee socks. After an hour of trying on her own clothes, she desperately needed someone to rescue her.
“I’ll run over to the house and grab it.” Her mother bolted out the door like she was afraid Jane would change her mind. “Stay put! I’ll only be a few minutes!”
It wasn’t even a few minutes before her mother tore through the door again. She must’ve sprinted the whole way.
“Here it is,” she sputtered. “Isn’t it lovely? It’ll really bring out your eyes. And it’ll be perfect for your figure.”
Jane inspected the dress. Even she had to admit it wasn’t terrible. The soft blue color was subtle yet elegant and the halter style was completely different from anything she would normally wear. It would make an impression without being over the top. Perhaps she should’ve listened to her mother when she tried to tell her what to wear all those years ago.
Her mother had frozen, still holding up the dress as though the anticipation was killing her.
“I’ll wear it.” Jane shed her robe.
“You’re going to love it.” She helped Jane pull the garment over her head, and then stood back to admire her. “I knew it would be perfect. I saw it online when I was shopping for a dress for the wedding, and I simply had to buy it.” She held up a pair of low strappy heels. “Along with these fabulous shoes.”
Jane sat on the bed and slipped them on. It took her a few minutes to figure out all the buckles, but they were actually comfortable, and matched the dress perfectly. It seemed her fairy godmother was her actual mother all along. “Thank you.” She turned a slow circle, glancing in the mirror. The dress really did fit like it had been made for her.
“So, is there any particular reason you’re obsessing over what to wear to this party tonight?” her mother asked, sitting as though settling in for a chat.
Uh-oh. Jane hadn’t breathed a word about the time she and Toby had spent together to her mother, or to anyone else for that matter. But her mother had always been weirdly intuitive.
“It wouldn’t have anything to do with Toby Garrett, would it?” her mother pressed.
“No.” Damn her tendency to blush. It always gave her away. “Sheesh. I just wanted to dress up a little. This is my best friend’s wedding shower and the whole town will be there.” If only she had a fan, she could use it to cool off her cheeks.
Her mother gazed into her eyes as though searching for the hidden truth. “Well you look lovely, Jane.” Seeming to give up, she stood. “I know it hasn’t been easy for you being back here, but I’m glad you came home for longer than a few days this time. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too.” Being here never failed to spark memories of her father, which sometimes made her feel like she was experiencing the loss all over again. Coming home this time though felt different. She’d started to find her rhythm with writing again. She’d gotten to spend some time with her brother, and she was starting to find a connection with her mom she’d never had. And sharing this time with Beth before her wedding had reminded Jane how much she needed a friend.
“I should’ve spent more time here the last few years.” It had been easier for her to build a new life somewhere else. Somewhere she didn’t have to confront the loss of her father everywhere she looked. “I should’ve helped you with the ranch more.”
“I’m thinking of selling,” her mother said abruptly.
“Selling?” Jane stopped, blocking her mother’s path to the door. “I thought you loved it here.”
“After your dad died, taking care of the ranch saved me.” The words were almost apologetic. “All these years it’s been my whole focus, and I’ve realized I’m missing out on my life. I’m almost sixty, Jane,” she said as though she couldn’t believe it. “I want to travel. I want to be there for my kids, and someday my grandkids. I want to sleep in and have my summer weekends free.”
“Of course.” Jane couldn’t quite name the emotion building in her chest. She understood. As hard as it had been for Jane to lose her father, she couldn’t quite imagine the fear and pain her mother had faced. She deserved to move on, to build a life she dreamed about. “When do you think you’ll sell?”
Her mother moved past her and walked to the door. They both walked down the hall and slipped out into the cool evening. “I’m going to try to make it through this season. But hopefully it will be my last.”
Jane looked around as they walked down the steps and followed the path toward the old barn. The surface of the lake glistened in the setting sun. Her dad had taught her to swim here. Though she hadn’t dipped a toe in the water since his kayaking accident. They’d canoed on the lake and had built sandcastles on the beach. He’d called this their little slice of heaven on earth…
“You’re being awfully quiet,” her mother murmured.
“I guess I’m surprised.” Jane paused near the water’s edge. She shouldn’t be. Of course, her mother wouldn’t want to stay here forever, working every day from late spring all the way through the fall. But Jane couldn’t shake the feeling that they were going to let go of her father’s legacy. She wasn’t sure she was prepared to let go.
“I can’t keep it, honey.” Her mother stopped. “It’s too much. Wes only comes home once in a while and I hardly ever see August.”
Jane rarely saw her eldest brother either, though he lived in Napa. They talked once in a while but managing one of the high-end wineries out there kept him pretty busy. “I understand.” She let her eyes wander to the lodge farther down the shoreline. Her father had built it shortly after he’d bought the property.
“I know it’ll be hard to say goodbye to it all.” Her mother put her arm around Jane and led her forward. “But none of you kids want it either and I won’t burden you with the responsibility. I think it’s best to sell soon, while the market is still strong, and then we can divide up the money.”
Jane didn’t want any of the money. She could definitely use it, but she didn’t want it. She’d rather find a way to keep her father’s memory alive.
“Maybe you should hire a manager.” Jane knew what her mother was saying made sense, but she couldn’t imagine the ranch not being in their family.
“Even if I hired a manager, I’d still have to be involved. I’d still be thinking about it and sticking my nose into the business. After all this time I wouldn’t know how not to.” Her mother sighed. “I just need to let it go. It’s time.”
They walked along the lake, the water lapping gently at the sandy shore and then followed the path worn into the grass all the way to the barn.
More arguments flooded Jane’s thoughts, but she kept them to herself. Her mother had obviously been thinking about selling for a while, and she had every right to make that decision.
Why should it matter to her what her mother did with the ranch anyway? Jane planned to go back to California right after Beth’s wedding, and she’d hole up in her condo until she decided to look for another teaching job.
The sounds of music and laughter greeted them as they neared the old barn.
“Sounds like a fun party.”
Her mother looked so relaxed, while nerves blitzed through Jane. Social scenes like this had never been her thing. In high school, she used to barricade herself in her room with a book anytime there was a big party or dance. On the night of her winter formal, she’d binge read the entire Chronicles of Narnia series.
“I still can’t believe Toby wanted to have Beth’s elegant wedding shower here.” Her mom frowned at the structure’s ragged exterior.
“Neither could the bats.” The memory of Toby running around with a trash bag full of bats made her laugh. Inevitably, though, thinking of the bats made her think of the kiss they’d shared and suddenly the low evening sun seemed ten times hotter.
Jane opened the barn door for her mother and followed her inside. “Wow. He really pulled everything together.” She hadn’t expected to be impressed—especially given the state of the barn earlier that morning, but it looked amazing.
“Toby did this?” Her mother’s eyes opened as wide as Jane imagined hers were.
He’d set up the space to look like a mountain fairyland. There were white lights strung from all the rafters giving the dim room a festive glow. On one side, he’d set up round tables, which were covered in white table linens and rustic accents. Each table had its own twinkling mason jar chandelier hanging overhead. Across from where they stood, Toby had created a makeshift bar out of old wine barrels and pallets. There was also a dance floor, the catered food tables she’d ordered, and yes, there was the mechanical bull. She had to admit, it wasn’t quite as obnoxious as she’d thought it would be.
“It looks beautiful in here,” her mother marveled, wandering away.
There was no way Toby had done this all on his own. It would’ve been too much, even for both him and Wes. Though the barn was packed with people, it still felt plenty roomy. Everyone had spread out and was enjoying the food, drinks, and the country music blaring from the speakers.
Nudging her way through the crowd, Jane gawked in disbelief at the transformation.
“Oops! Sorry.” A woman bumped into Jane from behind.
She turned. “It’s okay—” Her eyes met Aubrey Munson’s and once again she was falling back through the years and landing with a horrible thud into her tattered high school memories. Beth had invited Aubrey Munson to her wedding shower?
Jane pushed her glasses up on her nose, but it didn’t change anything. Aubrey hadn’t seemed to age since their senior year. Apparently being a blond bombshell never went out of style.
“Jane?” The woman’s jaw dropped. “Jane Harding? It is you! I knew you were coming, but I didn’t realize you’d already made it back.”
Why would she realize it? They’d never been friends. Aubrey had been everything Jane wasn’t—popular, pretty, athletic, especially when it came to cheerleading and dance, and oh, yeah. There was that other thing. She’d dated Toby.
“Hi Aubrey. So nice to see you again.” She tried to smile. She really tried, but it was hard to forget the mean-girl comments Aubrey and her friends always uttered when they thought she wasn’t listening. Back then, they’d been really into rhyming: “plain Jane” had always been a favorite of course. Her parents had set her up for that. But there’d also been “stained Jane,” “weight-gain Jane,” “insane Jane,” “shame Jane.” She could go on…
“Oh my God,” Aubrey bubbled. “What’s it been? Like ten years or something?”
Math had never been the woman’s forte. “Roughly.” She tried to keep a hold on her smile, but it had started to give. “What’re you doing back here?” She’d heard from her mother that Aubrey had gone to University of Denver and was currently working her way up to be an anchor at a local news station. Mara had always loved Aubrey. She used to try to force Jane to invite Aubrey to her house after school. But Jane had never been good at pretending to like people.
“What am I doing here?” the woman repeated with a giggle. “Well I guess it’s no surprise that Toby and I have been hanging out some since he’s spent so much time in Denver recently.” Her expression turned pouty. Or maybe that was simply the work she’d had done on her lips. “The poor man. I try to meet up with him every time he comes down for a doctor appointment.”
She was here for Toby? With Toby? Jane blinked at the woman, her throat constricting. “Right. Of course.” Well, wasn’t that interesting? “So, you’re here as Toby’s date?” Jane had to get this straight, because only a few hours ago he’d been lying in the grass kissing her like he was single.
“Not officially.” Aubrey leaned in. “But I think we’re moving in that direction, if you know what I mean.”
Jane didn’t know. She couldn’t possibly know because about six hours ago, Toby had told her she was beautiful. And yet…like she’d told the man himself, he said that to all the girls. Jane gave herself a good mental shake. He was a good-time cowboy. Even when he’d kissed Jane, she’d known that. It wasn’t like things between them would ever go anywhere. Not with him traveling the circuit. She’d already told him her philosophy on love anyway. He knew where she stood, so he probably figured there was no risk in kissing her. Still, it was a pretty crappy thing to do if Aubrey thought the two of them were in a relationship.
“You look so…different.” A catty smile wrinkled Aubrey’s nose.
“I would hope we’re all different, considering we’re not in high school anymore,” Jane said, scanning the crowd for Beth. Maybe her friend would come and rescue her. Beth had known how terrible Aubrey had been to her in high school.
Jane took deep, even breaths to ease the sudden burning dead center in her chest. She’d told Aubrey she hoped they were all different as adults, but clearly that wasn’t true.
“I really need to go find Beth.” She was here for her friend, not to be forced back into the past by someone who’d never liked her. “Excuse me,” she said to Aubrey. “Great to see you.”
“Maybe we can catch up some time,” the woman called behind her.
Jane didn’t even turn around to acknowledge the invitation. Instead, she kept her gaze focused straight ahead, hunting for her best friend. There she was! Over by the mechanical bull with Ethan. And Toby. The sight of him brought on a minor explosion where her heart had once sat. Yep, definitely the good-time cowboy. He was currently climbing onto the mechanical bull, waving to the crowd that had gathered, showing off that cocky grin.
“To-by! To-by!” The deafening chant reminded her of high school football games.
Trying to stay in the shadows, Jane edged her way around the crowd. She needed to block out everything else and make sure Beth had a great time at her shower.
The mechanical bull started up and everyone cheered louder. Toby ate up the attention, raising his arm in the air and whooping to get the crowd even more riled.
Almost there. Jane tried not to watch him while she made her way to Beth’s side, but she couldn’t help herself. He was so good—moving with the bull, all that upper body strength keeping his form sturdy. And right before she grabbed her friend’s hand, Toby’s eyes seemed to meet hers. Then the bull spun, flinging him off onto the sawdust covered floor.
Everyone seemed to gasp and hold their breath.
“That wasn’t even eight seconds!” someone yelled.
“Oh my God! Toby!” Aubrey rushed to his side and knelt next to him. “Are you okay?”
“Sorry. I forgot to warn you Aubrey was coming,” Beth whispered into Jane’s ear.
“Yeah about that.” She turned to her friend. “What the hell is she doing here?”
Beth shrugged. “She said Toby invited her.”
Of course he did. Toby had started to stagger to his feet, noticeably wincing while he tried to shrug off Aubrey. “I’m fine,” he called out. But that wasn’t his real smile. Or maybe he’d only been giving Jane his fake smile. She had no way of knowing, did she?
The crowd started clapping and then chanting for him to get back up on the bull.
“I’m gonna take five,” he said, walking away. “Let someone else have a turn.” He moved stiffly with Aubrey following behind him.
Jane watched the two of them. Toby said something to the woman, and she scurried away while he slipped out the door.
“Jane!” Beth elbowed her. “Go with him. Make sure he’s okay.”
Oh, no. No. Way. “Babysitting the best man isn’t the maid of honor’s job,” she informed her friend. She’d already saved him once today. If she would’ve known about Aubrey a little while ago, she would’ve let the bats swarm him.
“Please.” Beth did that puppy-dog begging thing with her eyes. “Otherwise Ethan is going to go after him and who knows how long that’ll take. I want to enjoy the shower with him.”
“Of course you do.” Beth and Ethan had both been working so hard. They deserved to enjoy the evening without any worries. “You two go dance. I’ll go check on Toby.” She put on her best bridesmaid smile and headed for the door.