Chapter 36

Beth brushed the leaves away from the granite stone. Fall was in full swing already. Beth pushed back so she was sitting on the ground in front of Josh’s headstone. She hadn’t visited the cemetery in the last year, and felt a little guilty about it.

She put her fingers to her lips, kissed them, and pressed her fingers to his name. Beth looked around to see if there was anyone else around. She came out alone, asking Kyle to stay home with Charlie so she could pay her respects to Josh. It was the anniversary of his death, and she needed this time alone.

Beth let out a sigh, and looked up at the sky a minute. She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. When she opened them, she was looking at the stone again. The firefighter Maltese cross was under his name.

“What a year it’s been, Josh. I know I haven’t been out to visit much, and that probably won’t change much. I’ve known Kyle for just over a year now, and we got married in February. I’m a mommy now. We have the cutest baby boy. Charlie would bring a smile to your face in a heartbeat if you were still here. Things are just so perfect. I think you had a hand in everything, being up in heaven and all.” Beth closed her eyes a minute, a tear escaping. “I’m so happy now, Josh. I haven’t felt like this since before I lost you. I haven’t had nightmares in months. I guess that’s a good thing, but I feel like it puts you farther away from me. I’ll never stop loving you, but I’ve got to make more room for Kyle and Charlie. They need my love too.

“I’ve been thinking more about something you said. It was a quote you found, and I can’t remember exactly how it went, it went something like this: there are things that happen to us that make it feel like the end of the world, when the reality is it’s just the beginning of something wonderful. Losing you felt like my end, and it could have been. Now I know just how wonderful my life can be, and I want to thank you for our time together, and the love we shared. Thank you for helping me through losing you, and that I was able to meet Kyle. He’s shown me I have a lot more life to live, and love to give.”

Beth wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She stood up, and looked at the headstone. Beth knew every line engraved in the granite by heart. She put her hand over her heart. “You will always be right here with me, Josh.”

Beth slowly walked away and headed to her car. She had the rest of her life ahead of her.