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I picked up Max from the hospital where he’d had his surgery. I didn’t know what to expect when I strolled into the room when the doctors were releasing him. As usual I spotted his expressive eyes staring at the wall, and I knew right off, instinctively, this wasn’t a good day for Max. Not that I expected anything more or less. It was never like Max to be a happy camper, not with all that was going on in his life, since he participated in and caused all of this drama.
The plastic surgeon, who had a number of people on his staff, handed over the things Max would need, which included mild meds for aftercare. Max had insisted on not taking opioids because he was allergic to them. He would endure whatever pain because he wanted to function under any circumstance. He wanted to be functioning at his highest level when his people located Alex.
He was probably in pain now, but he could tolerate it much better than me or most men.
One of the young doctors in charge took over once the surgeon had released Max, and gone through everything that could go wrong with him if he didn’t follow the directions the nurse had given.
“If anything unusual occurs...” what the fuck, I thought. There could be complications? Of course, because Max wasn’t one to follow anyone’s directions because he thought he knew better than anyone. The doctor’s name was Todd or Rob. I didn’t know which because all I could concentrate on was Max’s state of mind after speaking to the head surgeon. I was more than relieved he didn’t hear Todd.
“If there is unusual swelling and the swollen tissue hasn’t gone down in a day, then call me.” He handed me his card and I tucked it in my pocket because I was stunned. “He should look good as new, but with a different face of course. He chuckled. “Just continue with the meds until the swelling is down and his new face looks natural.”
What the fuck is natural? How am I to tell what is natural? Will his nose look like a cucumber, is that natural?
Todd must have read my mind or my expression. “Mr. Blackstone has a picture of the way he should look. Ask him for it since you’re the caretaker, and will have to determine if he needs to get to the hospital immediately.”
I am not his caretaker, but I plan to hire one, I thought.
When I left Todd and he returned to whatever it was he did besides put people in a panic, I sauntered over to Max sitting and staring at his hands. This was never a good sign with Max. For one thing, he never sat still long enough to stare at anything more than once.
“Are you okay Max?” I questioned, standing over him and tapping him on the shoulder. He turned to me and all I could see was a set of green eyes that looked like mine. The nose was different and the structure of his face and jaw also different. Besides his confidence at an all-time low, everything else was fine. Just different.
“It’s going to take you time to get used to your face,” I said, not knowing he would react by twisting his hands.
“How would you know, Jonas?” he barked, “I’m the one who has to live with this, and I can’t even tell how I’m going to look. My face is still swollen. I’ve paid this quack a lot of money to tell me that when the swollen parts around my cheeks recede, then I will be a new man. I’m already a fucking new man. I can’t recognize this new man.”
“I know you’re—”
“What do you know, Jonas? How I feel? No one can know that until you wake up and there’s no you except your twin who’s sitting across from you with a face I wish I still had. I’ll lose my wife, and my children will run from me—” I cut him off because I didn’t want him feeling sorry for himself, because he was not the victim here. Alex was the victim and we didn’t know where she was, and here Max was with everything including a new face, which I’d give anything for where I could be someone else, and he was feeling sorry for himself? With a new face I could start over.
“You talk as if you’re grotesque and you’re not. That doctor is the best in Houston, and he’s a man of his word. His reputation depends on it. If you need to go to a therapist, then that can be arranged, but you’re not going to sit here and say woe is me. You’re getting a second chance with everything. That old face was to remind everyone who you hurt, but with this new one you can be different. You can be better. Not the cold calculating bastard the world thought you were. Talk differently and be different if you so choose. It’s all in your hands now, Max. I can arrange—"
“The only thing you can arrange Jonas is to find Alex, and take care of my children. I don’t know if I can face them the way I am now.” Would he get off that high horse and realize that the children didn’t care? They wanted their parents, and it didn’t matter what he looked like. Max never knew when he had it good, until it was too late.
Stopping on our walk to collect the rental from the valet, I turned to Max, and said, “We’re not going back to the hotel. After the doctor checks you and gives you the okay within a few days, I’m going to fly out and prepare the children. They’ll be okay and they won’t love you any less, trust me, because after all they are Alex’s children too. She is the mother of those children and it’s a good thing.”
Max narrowed his glance in my direction. He knew what I’d been implying.
We resumed our walk, we climbed into the car with me on the driver’s side, and I headed out.
“Where are we going?” Max questioned when he watched me turn, and get on a ramp for I-10 and head west outside of Katy.” “I hope you’re not taking me to Austin, because I’ll tell you now, I don’t want to be in a city even if Austin pretends to be a city. I need some fresh air and time to think.”
“That’s why I rented a home for you. Plenty of fresh air, cornfields, well, I think they’re cornfields, trees, and the smell of animal manure.” I chuckled, but Max wasn’t in any mood to see the humor in that or anything, and he wasn’t as optimistic as I had been over the years. He never could get over the darkness that lurked deep inside of him. Maybe it was dealing with too many men, and having this need for bondage to make him feel something. However, Alex was the only woman who could make him feel, and bring out that part of him that had a soul.
“Have you located Alex for me?” What he didn’t know was I was trying to find her, not just for him, but for myself too. I needed her as much as Max did, and since our last encounter I’d needed her more each day that she was away from us.
“Not yet, but the guy I have on the case is someone we’ve used before, and he said he’d have her whereabouts within the month. His name is Sabastian.”
“Yes, I remember him, but it’s too fucking long, Jonas. A month is too fucking long. She’s out there without anyone to take care of her. She doesn’t have any money, and the authorities are still looking to question her, and I’m practically an invalid.”
“Don’t you think I know she’s all alone, but Alex can take care of herself—”
“The way she did before?” Max interjected.
“I seem to remember you had as much to do with that as either her or me. If you hadn’t been so jealous, none of this would have happened, but it would take you too much to admit it. If you’re going to get Alex back, you’d better change in every way you can.
“Do you think she wants to look at you anymore?”
“No.” Max sounded like a child, because his voice was low, and he’d lost the arrogance built into it.
I took my eyes off the road for a second. “Then you’d better embrace your new face and a new attitude to go with it. And when you meet her again try a new voice. That couldn’t hurt. Try softer, try flexible, if you ever want to see her again. I say that because I don’t want to lose her either. If she leaves you from what you’ve put her through, then I will lose the most important person I’ve met in my life. Do you know what she means to me? If you don’t want her because you fail to change, then I’ll take her.”
Max turned and furrowed his brow.
I’d given too much of my thoughts away.
That was the last thing I wanted to say to him, but he had to know, and I had to say it. He wasn’t the only man in the world for her, and he couldn’t go around thinking he was after all he’d done to her. He couldn’t expect Alex to grovel at his feet because she wouldn’t, and I knew why.
I knew if she wanted me, I’d move heaven and earth to be with her, but she didn’t want me she wanted Maximillian. He was the love of her life, and everyone, including Max, knew it, but from what she’d done and been through, perhaps she’d changed more than I thought, and I might have a chance still to prove to her that I loved her.
“We’re here, Max. I put an ad in the paper for someone to cook and clean up while I’m away.”
“I could do that for myself.”
I glanced over at Max and laughed. “You’ve never done any kind of domestic work in your life, and you wouldn’t know where your boxer briefs were if you didn’t have someone handing them to you. And that includes Alex.”
We pulled up to the home in a subdivision where the million-dollar houses were far apart from the neighbors. When Max stepped out of his door, he didn’t have to wave, not that he would do that anyway.
Max sat in the car and glanced around. “Alex had been wanting a place like this out of the cold winters, where it’s warm.” He stared and mumbled, “Spacious but not too big for her to raise our children. I never knew it could be like this. The weather is perfect now and there’s no snow. The children aren’t stuck in the house for days and looking at their phones for hours. Now they can hang out with friends. They may be upset to leave their friends to come here. Temperature seventy-four degrees.”
“They’ll get over it and they can make new friends. Children are like that. They can change easier than their parents.” I glanced at Max, and he looked at me.
Max became silent. It was as if he was trying to relive another childhood he never had. I was there with him stuck in a cold climate, and for days he’d never leave his room, just bury his head in books and study night and day, until he lost that feeling of community, being with others and enjoying the laughter of someone like himself, when in fact there wasn’t anyone like Max. Not even me.
I’d been the opposite of Max. The only thing we had in common was this face and our eyes, but now we didn’t. But we still had as a connection our love for Alex and his children. I’d been more sociable and extroverted, and I learned to depend on others when I joined the army.
Max wrapped his arms around his chest and slanted his head to the side. “I could get used to this if I had Alex and my children.” He glanced at me. “You too, Jonas. I’ll never doubt you and your closeness to Alex again.”
We stepped out of the car and marched into the house, then the phone rang. It came with a landline, and I left it for convenience. With no one to take care of Max, he could lose his phone. You never knew when that landline would come in handy. “I’ll get it.”
A female’s voice was at the other end. “I’m calling about this ad in the papers...” a soft voice said as if she was whispering. I managed to hear music in the background and little else. “Is the job still available? I can clean and cook and take care of children. It says in the ad he can’t do anything for himself. Do you need me to dress him because I’m not strong enough to give him a shower. When will you need me?”
I’d forgotten I’d said Max was disabled. Well, he was, sort of. Any man who waited for someone to prepare his clothes was disabled. Therefore, I didn’t lie. I thought I’d get someone quick, and it seemed that was what happened. And I lied about his age. I thought if he was a man in his late thirties that a woman would be hesitant about coming. However, this one seemed desperate.
Now to convince Max to be a man of sixty would be a stretch because she’d see him and know he was a virile healthy man in his late thirties.