| |
During the course of the night, we showered together, laughed together about what we would do if we were married. I knew that sounded silly as if we were in our teens or twenty-one and had met in college. Although Zack was older, he behaved like he was nineteen. I wished I’d met him sooner. He even said if I married him he’d take me on a honeymoon with me and my children anywhere in the world.
“That’s not a honeymoon,” I had said to him.
“It could be. I want you to never have to leave your children again for any reason. Not even for me.” He placed his wet finger to my lips. “Shut up and enjoy the gesture.” When I turned, he slapped me lightly on my ass cheeks. Wow, that was hot.
I turned to face him. “Bossy,” I quipped.
“I think you’re the bossy one,” Zack said. “I’m not the one carrying around a whip and a pair of handcuffs.”
“I think you have me on that one,” I admitted. “Are you ready to try the handcuffs?”
“I may need time to get ready for the handcuffs and whip. But don’t get me wrong, I’m a fast learner and with an attractive alluring woman like yourself, I think I can manage a few minutes of pain.”
“Well, aren’t you the high achiever. I was thinking of giving you only one lash.” I winked at him, and he brought me into his arms, and I fell asleep with his muscular arms clutching my lean body.
When we woke in the middle of the day, and still in bed it was refreshing and unusual for me. I had been the one taking care of my children, dropping them at school, picking them up in the evenings after soccer practice, shopping for food because one didn’t eat certain things and the others wanting their own things. I never got enough rest, or had the luxury of sleeping during the day.
Max would go on his business trips and stay gone for months, only to come home, kiss the children, have sex with me and leave again. I wanted what Zack had offered me, but I had to give Max a second chance, and discuss this with Jonas. More than ever, Jonas had a say in the matter. He’d been the one who had freed me from Christian’s diabolical deadly hands.
Turning to Zack, “Let’s get to the kitchen, and I’ll prepare breakfast this time. We need to talk.”
“Only if you wear that costume as you called it.”
I narrowed my eyes. “There’s no way I’m wearing that skimpy maid’s uniform,” I objected, but not as strongly as I should have.
“Then I’ll just lie here, and you can serve me in bed.”
“Get up, lazy.” I walked and pulled at his hands and arms, and he moved and stood up and I watched his hard strong shaft anticipate my next move. Damn, but his body was gorgeous. And now through the sunlight pouring into the room, I saw scars I’d never seen before. They crossed one shoulder and muscles in his arms. Some of the scars appeared to be burns that had healed recently.
My mind turned to what I initially thought, he was in the Mafia, and hiding out in Texas.
“How did this happen?” I questioned, tracing my palm along his shoulder.
“It’s a long story,” Zack said.
“Here’s your robe. We need to talk.” I tossed the French maid’s costume to the side when Zack had picked it up, and handed it to me. “Come on.” I took Zack’s hand and marched him to the kitchen and he sat on the island bar stool while I raided the fridge and lined up everything on the counter. Then I placed plates and utensils as he grinned, and his eyes followed me around.
“Now tell me how you got those scars?”
“Only if you marry me.” I blew out a hard breath and rolled my eyes. He leaned and placed his warm hand on mine. The heat soared through my body igniting the passion I’d almost lost for a man. Our eyes met. “You’re not married anymore and I’m not either—”
“Your wife is dead. Max is still alive, and if I don’t talk to him, I’ll never know what I want.”
“I thought you wanted me?”
“I do. But we don’t know each other. I don’t know why you have those scars. Is it because you’re in the Mafia?” Zack began laughing and it continued for too long.
“Why are you laughing at me? I’m serious.”
He placed a finger on my hair and pushed it to the side. “Because, beautiful lady, you have an enormous imagination. From the use of handcuffs to whips to thinking I’m a gangster.”
“Well, are you?”
“No. And if you agree to marry me, I’ll prove to you that I’m an honest businessman. And I have resources where I don’t have to spend my time dealing with my businesses any more. I can devote all my time to you and your children.”
“You know Max has my children, and I can never be happy unless I can come to an understanding with him. If you know about Max, then you should know he’s ruthless when it comes to me and his children. I don’t want to see anything happen to you.”
“Something has already happened to me. I’ve falling irreversibly in love with you. I can’t go back. I can’t unsee you. I can’t feel the way I feel for anyone else. It’s only you, Alex.”
I placed my finger over Zack’s mouth. “Don’t say that. You sound like someone else.”
“Who, Max?”
“Yes.”
“That’s who I wanted to talk to you about, Alex.”
“I thought when I said I needed to talk to you it would be a conversation about Max, but now I don’t want to think about him when I’m with you. I need time. I need to get away.” I walked out of the kitchen and into my room, closed the door and got dressed.
When I strode back into the kitchen with my bag in my hand, I saw the scared look in Zack’s eyes. “Where are you going, Alex. Baby, come here.”
I couldn’t. I’d been confused with my desire to stay with Zack or go to Max. I’d been with Max so long and he had such a pull and reach into my heart, soul, and body that I was afraid Zack would fall in love with me and I’d hurt him and I didn’t want to hurt this beautiful man. I had to leave to give him time to find someone else because I didn’t think I was the one for him. I would destroy him with my love for Max.
“I have to leave.”
“Do you want me to take you someplace?”
“No. Because if you did, I might not go. I called a Uber and it will take me to the airport and home.”
“Are you coming back, Alex?”
“I don’t know.” This was one of the most painful things I’d experienced in my life, but it had to be done, and I was determined to leave the man who I found so much peace and love with, but I had to be with my children, because I would never have any peace. Whatever Max asked of me, I had to do it. There was a price to be paid for everything in life, and I was willing to endure a man who knew no boundaries when it came to possessing me, and give up the man I’d fallen in love with who offered me freedom from the man I still loved.
****
When I exited Zack’s home in Texas, I stepped out of a rented car in front of a home I hadn’t seen in two years, it looked different. Not like I remembered. Larger maybe. Smaller most definitely. I just couldn’t remember. I saw new bicycles on a stand, and I grew sad. I’d missed a lot. Like my children’s birthdays and meeting with their teachers. What did Max say to the teachers to explain why their mother wasn’t around. I was sure he controlled the narrative.
As much as I detested what Max had done to me and Jonas, I still loved him and that was why I couldn’t decide on having a life with Zack or Max, but Max won out. He always did.
If Max became impossible to live with, then I would have to make a move once and for all, and contact Zack and ask him to take Max on, if I ever could have a life outside of Max. I had confidence Zack could do it. It pained me to be at Max’s doorstep when I’d fallen in love with Zack too.
How could I love two men, and feel the passion in the same way for both of them?
This was the thing that terrified and bothered me that I wanted both men at the same time. I chuckled. Perhaps I could present them with this idea. And if they wanted me enough they would agree. Fat chance. Zack had said he wanted what I wanted, and if he could have me, he’d adjust.
That idea alone was preposterous, but I’d heard of people having a threesome, however, I’d never heard of men agreeing to this. Men were different from women, because some of them were selfish and covetous.
I stood outside looking at the door too long. I was sure the cameras picked up on me pacing back and forward, yet no one came to the door. I didn’t think it would be my children because they were in school.
Taking in a deep breath, I placed my finger on the bell and within seconds the door opened. “We’ve been waiting on you, Alex. You’ve come home to us. Come in,” Jonas said with a relieved look on his face. He hugged me. “You smell wonderful, Alex. You look even better. It seems you’ve been getting a lot of rest.” His eyes sparkled, and he held me longer than I expected. He knew I’d been with Zack, and the way he looked at me he was aware of something. Was it written on my face that I’d slept with Zack. Was it in my eyes?
“Not enough rest. You know you can’t sleep on planes these days.” I pulled back from his embrace. “Jonas, I came here to talk to Max.”
“He’s been waiting for you. Follow me.” I trooped behind Jonas and when I entered the great room, Max was sitting in his usual chair facing the glass windows as animals crossed the property. When he was home, he said he needed to see deer trotting through the snow. It calmed him, and then he was gone for months.
Standing behind him, but not too close, I said in a low voice, “Max I need to talk to you about me and the children.” He turned. I gasped and placed my hand over my mouth. “What are you doing here Zack?” I whispered.
“That’s what I wanted to tell you. It’s me Alex. I’m Zack.” I bolted to run, and Max caught me. “Look at me. I’m telling you the truth,” he said in his natural baritone voice.
“But what happened to your face, and you’ve changed?”
“If you had destroyed your face and had a new one reconstructed, lost your beautiful wife and all that she represented because you were a hardheaded dick, and thought of nothing but making money, and discovered that your life had changed because you ran off the most precious person in your life, the mother to your children, you would change too. I’ve changed along with this face that you see. You won’t see the old Max again. He died with that face, and in that helicopter crash. Now I’m reborn with your help, and Jonas’s.”
I saw tears cascade from Max’s eyes and land on his cheek. I placed my finger and wiped it away. Max grabbed my palm and kissed it. “Can you forgive me, Alex, and help me make the children understand that I’m here to stay. That I’m still their father, even if I have another face. I need you, Alex. Don’t leave me.”
When Max asked me not to leave him, I heard the voice of Zack and Max. “I’m never going to leave you, Max. Where am I to go? I found two men in my life that I can’t do without and whom I love. I’m here to stay.”
Max reached and drew me into his arms, held me tight as I laid my head on his wide chest. I heard his heart beating loudly in his chest. I glanced up to see Jonas who now laid claim to the handsome face that used to belong to Max. Jonas was now the face of Blackstone.
I stared at Jonas. “I love both of you, and I will always love the two of you.” I watched Jonas smile. I felt the fire burn through me welcoming my men and the passion I felt for them. Max took my hand and led me in the direction of our room.
“Now show me what you can do with those handcuffs and whip. It’s been a long time and I can’t remember how it felt. Zack needs to be acquainted, because he’s now your slave.”
The End of “Blackout” Book 10
Look for “Black Ice” Book 11 in 2024
Authors Note: There are 10 books in the Blackstone Series, some you can read as a stand-alone, however start with the first 3 books to get acquainted with the characters. You can reach me at (rachelerice04@gmail.com) if you want to talk and comment about my books. Furthermore, if you want more Blackstone books leave a comment, and I will answer you. Moreover, go to https://rachel-e-rice.com/ to see most of my books. If you like my books, please leave a review. Thanks for reading them.