[“How Grimly Do Petunias Look”]
(From The Case Of The Crushed Petunias: A Lyrical Fantasy)

How grimly do petunias look

on things not listed in the book

For these dear creatures never move

outside the academic groove.

They mark with sharp and moral eye

phenomena that pass them by

And classify as good or evil

mammoth whale or tiny weevil.

They note with consummate disdain

all that is masculine or plain

They blush down to their tender roots

when men pass by in working boots

All honest language shocks them so

they cringe to hear a rooster crow

Of course they say that good clean fun’s

permissible for every one

But find that even Blindman’s Bluff

is noisy and extremely rough

AND—

(Stage whisper.)—Not quite innocent enough!