7:30 a.m. at the Cartwright’s Farm
Gabriel woke up to the smell of bacon frying. He’d slept on the sofa in the living room. He heard the guest bedroom door open and Tabitha’s feet shuffling into the kitchen where his mom and Ms. Vonda were. He started to get up, but smiled lazily and listened to their conversation instead.
“Did you sleep okay?” Maggie asked.
“Oh yes. I think there’s something special about that back room. I don’t remember waking up once,” Tabitha said, a yawn cutting her short.
“How about some eggs and bacon?” Ms. Vonda asked.
“That sounds wonderful. Can I do anything to help?”
“No, just relax and I’ll have you a plate in a jiffy. Coffee or tea?”
“Oh, it feels like a tea kind of day.”
Gabriel peeked over the couch to see Tabitha sit down and fold one leg up on the seat under the other.
“A girl after my own heart,” his mom said as she took a sip and smiled.
“He’s still snoozing away.” Ms. Vonda smiled as she placed a full plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and a blueberry muffin in front of Tabitha.
“I have to say, you sure have had quite an effect on Gabriel. He seems like a part of him just woke up or something.” Maggie poured herself a little more hot water as she continued. “We had a pretty rough few years there. I couldn’t get him to talk or play with the other boys. He was just a shell. It was really hard, ya know? He just wanted his daddy.” Maggie’s eyes welled up. “But you seem to have broken through. I can see the way he looks at you. He really loves you.”
“I just knew there was something special about him from the first time we met. He seemed to have a deep well in his heart . . . like he was capable of pure greatness. I don’t know how to describe it. He was so awkward the first time we talked, but I thought it was cute. I think The River was in him all along. You should see him out there when he’s guiding. He has such good instincts and confidence now. I’ve seen his courage in really difficult situations. It’s just amazing to watch. You did a really good job raising him.”
Gabriel’s heart felt like it was swelling with love for the two women in his life.
“I sure didn’t feel like I did at the time. Getting inside the head of a young man isn’t the easiest thing. His dad was like that, so inside his thoughts all the time. We made due, though. I had a lot of help.” Maggie looked at Ms. Vonda as she cleared some dishes.
“I didn’t know he struggled so much as a child.”
“He was afraid of his own shadow . . . angry too. He didn’t want to have anything to do with the water. He was terrified of it. Thank God for Mister Earl who took him to catch his first fish. All along the way, Gabriel had people in his life, pointing him ahead, helping him on to his destiny. It’s beautiful to see him really living . . . to see him so happy. I couldn’t give him that.”
Tabitha looked thoughtful. “I don’t think anyone could give him that. He has to choose it, like the rest of us.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think at the end of the day, everyone has to make the choices for their life. As much as I would want to be the source of someone’s happiness, I just think that’s got to come from something greater. That’s too much pressure. We all have to own our decisions for the future and how we are going to live. We can’t control life, but we can control how we respond.”
“Those are wise words for such a young woman.”
“I had a wise mother,” Tabitha said humbly. “This breakfast was delicious! Thank you so much. I wish I could cook like that.”
“You’re quite welcome, darling.” Ms. Vonda leaned down in Maggie’s ear and whispered loudly, “She’s a keeper.”
Tabitha excused herself to go get dressed.
Gabriel figured he should have been annoyed that his mom and girlfriend were chatting about his life, but he wasn’t. Instead, he just felt loved.
Gabriel sat back on the tractor in the old barn that morning. The smell of hay and rich soil that was caked on the plow filled the air. It was almost time to plant the corn. The sun-rays beamed through the cracks in the wood-slatted walls. He loved the sight of all the old tools hanging on the rustic boards. After taking a bite of one of Ms. Vonda’s biscuits, he opened The Journal and couldn’t believe the entry he found.
I don’t tell her enough, but Helen is my best friend. I married my best friend. She is kind and patient. She is strong and humble. She is ravishing and pure. She has given her life to me all these years. She knows me and I know her. I think the best thing is, we haven’t been busy trying to change each other. We share something so deep I can’t explain it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that giving my life to her was the best decision I could have ever made. When you focus on meeting the other’s needs, it just all works out. We have walked through the darkest of times and the brightest of days, and we’ve done it all together. Oh, what majestic mystery in the two becoming one! We have laughed and cried, been at odds and at peace, but never once have we walked it alone. I pray when we go, we go together. I can’t imagine life without my Helen. If you find a soul mate, give your life to her or him. Hold nothing back. Never quit. Be quick to forgive. Use soft words. Let the other just be who they were made to be and cheer your lover on! That’s what we learned to do. If you find what I’ve found, you’ll be the luckiest person alive too.
—R. Allen Clarke
1948
The barn door creaked open and startled him.
“There you are,” Tabitha said as she let herself in the barn.
Gabriel thrilled at the sight of her. “Hey. Did you have a good sleep?”
“Probably the best sleep I’ve had in a while. There’s just something about that old bed and those quilts. I slept like a baby.”
Tabitha walked up and put her hand on his calf.
“Do you know how to drive this thing?”
“Absolutely. Want me to teach you?”
“Are you sure?”
“Climb up.”
Gabriel extended his hand and helped her scale the side of the tractor. She plopped down on his lap.
“What does this do?” She started jostling the gearshifts.
“Easy there.” Gabriel put his hand on hers. “Let me get us out of here in one piece,” he said as he laughed.
He turned the key and started the old John Deere. It chugged and coughed dark smoke into the musty barn air.
“I guess it would help if we opened the doors. Don’t touch anything. I’ll be right back.”
Gabriel jumped down and swung open the massive doors, then climbed back up.
“You ready?” he asked over the rumble of the engine. He locked it into gear and released the clutch. The tractor heaved forward and out into the morning light.
“Woo-hoo! Ride ’em, cowboy!” Tabitha yelled as she held on to the side of Gabriel’s legs. He pulled up her hands and placed them on the steering wheel.
“You steer. No sharp turns, okay? Let’s head out this way.” Gabriel pointed to the large plowed field on the back of the property. He opened up the throttle and the tractor took off.
“Yee-haw!” Tabitha yelled and laughed as they cruised in the wide-open space. “I want one of these!”
The warm wind invigorated Gabriel’s face as he felt the pure joy in that moment. They felt no pressing obligations, no heavy sadness, and no worries. They were free.
Gabriel directed her through the fields and down the way to the pond he went to as a young boy. They pulled the tractor up under the giant cottonwood tree he climbed as a youngster. He told her the stories of wrestling matches and fishing. He laughed as he reminisced about the legendary stories of his childhood friends, Jimmy Bly, the gum stealer, General J.J., the giant wrestling champion who ate everything in site, and all the rascals who used to spend their afternoons there.
Gabriel stood up on the tractor seat.
“How’s your leg feeling?” he asked her.
“Just fine. Why?”
He clasped his hands to make a step for her.
“You want me to go up there?”
“Yep.”
Without hesitation Tabitha stood up, put her hands on his shoulders, and stepped in his hands. He hoisted her, and she grabbed a large branch of the sprawling tree and pulled herself up. Gabriel joined her, and they climbed up a good thirty feet and out on a large branch over the pond.
The two young lovebirds dangled their legs in the breeze as they sat high above the fields of Cairo and shared childhood memories.
“I fell from this very place about ten years ago. Everyone saw it. I was so embarrassed. I fell right on top of this kid Henry. I thought he drowned. I didn’t come back to the pond for years.” Gabriel squinted as he looked out across the vast landscape. “It feels pretty good to be up here with you . . . and to not be afraid anymore.”
“Funny how life works sometimes,” she said.
“Yeah.”
“The very thing you were terrified of, the weakest part of you, has been turned into the greatest strength. The water was a place of pain and embarrassment, and now it’s a place of purpose and passion. You are now helping people overcome their fear and experience The River. How beautiful is that?” Tabitha said.
“You should write this stuff down,” Gabriel said as he looked out over the terrain.
“Shut up.”
“No, I’m serious. You have a way with words,” he said.
Tabitha blushed at his compliment.
“Hey, look over there. We better head back.” Gabriel pointed to the dark clouds rolling in from the south. “We get some pretty good storms around here.”
They carefully descended the massive tree and hopped back on the tractor. Gabriel fired it up and they drove back toward the farm. Tabitha sat in his lap as they loped down the back road and into the Cartwright field. Thunder started to growl as the cloud cover blocked out the noonday sun. They had a good fifteen minutes to go.
“Uh-oh,” Gabriel announced.
Large drops started to fall. The drops sped up quickly into a full downpour. Gabriel slowed the tractor down to a stop.
“What are you doing?” she asked as she peeled the wet hair back from her face.
“Enjoying it!”
Gabriel jumped off the tractor in the middle of the field and started running around holding his arms out and pointing his face to the sky. “Yahoo! Isn’t this great!” Tabitha followed suit as the deluge continued. The rain soaked Gabriel to the bone as he drank in the moment.
The rain slowed as the wind coaxed the clouds north. They pulled the clinging shirts away from their bodies, shook the water off their hands, and laughed at how each other looked. Gabriel pulled a piece of wet hair off of her cheek. “You sure are making Kansas a lot more fun.” His wide hands cradled her wet cheeks as he leaned down and kissed her on the mouth. The sun appeared from behind the clouds again and warmed Gabriel’s skin. They boarded the tractor and headed back to the barn.
“How long can you stay?” Maggie asked as they dug into ham-and-cheese sandwiches, Ms. Vonda’s homemade potato salad, Southern sweet tea, and sweet pickles.
Gabriel looked at Tabitha. “I think we’ll need to head out tomorrow afternoon at the latest.”
His mom looked disappointed. “So soon? You just got here.”
“I know, but we have a lot to do to get the camp ready for the season. Why don’t you come visit me at The River?”
Maggie got fidgety. “Oh, that’s a long ways, and besides, I don’t think I could take that much time off of work.”
“Well, we need to work it out.”
Tabitha chimed in. “We have plenty of room. I’d love for you to see Gabriel in his element.”
Maggie got up abruptly and left her napkin on the table. “Please excuse me,” she said as she walked back through the hallway to her room.
Mister Earl got up and walked out the door without saying a word.
Ms. Vonda started to clean up.
“You done with that, dear?” She took Tabitha’s plate.
Tabitha leaned over to Gabriel. “Was it something I said?” she asked softly.
Gabriel swallowed hard. “It’s okay. A lot happened at The River that she probably hasn’t faced yet. Corley Falls is home to some hard times for our family. I know all about that. She’ll come around.”
The next day after lunch, Tabitha and Gabriel packed up the truck and got ready to head out. Another thunder-shower was on its way as they all gathered around the truck.
Ms. Vonda handed them a basket.
“It’s got enough in it to get you home. Plenty of biscuits, Gabriel.” The round old lady with her silver hair bun and permanent apron stepped in to give Gabriel a hug. “You take good care of him. I know you will,” she said as she hugged Tabitha.
“Great to see you doing so well, son.” Mister Earl extended his weathered hand.
Gabriel grabbed hold. “Thank you for everything, Mister Earl.”
“I love you.” Maggie wiped her eyes as she stood on her tiptoes to give her son a hug. “Be careful, would you?”
Gabriel gave her a warm smile. “I love you too, Mom. I’ll call you soon.”
Maggie gave Tabitha a hug, then looked into her eyes as she held her shoulders.
“I’m really glad Gabriel has you. You’re good for him. You two have something special.”
Tabitha met Gabriel’s eyes, then said, “It was so good to be with you. Thank you for such an amazing welcome.”
Tabitha and Gabriel pulled out onto the long gravel drive and started the long journey home. They waved their hands out the window and watched the three loved ones get smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.
A few hours into the trip on Highway 70 West, Tabitha broke up the long period of silence.
“So, you know how you said I should write my words down? I wrote something down. Can I read it to you?”
“Yes, absolutely,” Gabriel said, pleasantly surprised.
“Don’t laugh.”
“I wouldn’t laugh. Please share.”
Tabitha tucked her hair behind her ear as she read.
I saw a beautiful field today, where crops once grew. The earth was broken up and plowed, now ready for seeds to be planted. When the ground is plowed, it loosens those treacherous roots that might choke out the new plants. When the dirt is turned, it allows the soil to absorb the waters from the heavens, and the nutrients from the air. The terrain must be broken for new life to begin. In the rich soil of our lives, there is a season for brokenness—a softening, a turning of the dirt. The rivers and light from the heavens pour down, bringing everything a young seedling needs to flourish and release bounty into the world. As painful as it is, we must let the plow of suffering do its work, for from the broken soil comes a new beginning.
“That’s really . . . truly beautiful.”
Tabitha laid down on the bench seat in the old truck and rested her head on Gabriel’s leg as he drove into the warm Kansas night.