Some years ago, I attended a staff luncheon for a colleague who had recently adopted a beautiful baby girl from China. This single woman had courageously decided to build a family on her own. Home together with her daughter for a few weeks, she was proud, happy, and tired. Her eyes were red, her back hurt, and she wasn’t sleeping much.
“What you need is a husband,” announced another mom sitting at our table.
Silence fell around us like a heavy diaper.
“What I mean,” this married mother quickly explained, “is one of those corduroy pillows with little arms on the side, that let you read a book or hold your baby in bed.”
Indeed, everyone needs a husband, and I would even have one myself if they weren’t so awful to look at. Pillows have become an essential comfort in the bedroom (and in other places you might nod off, from airplanes to business meetings). In some cultures, objects designed to elevate the head during sleep are works of art of the highest order; in others, they are plumped and patterned symbols of material comfort. Throw pillows are both decorative and functional, serving to customize furniture by fitting around individual bodies. I’ve talked with small-stature adults who use pillows to adjust the “fit” of over-scale sofas to suit their personal scale.
In designing your own bed, you will want to consider issues of function, comfort, and message as well as fabrics and color schemes. One pillow may be all you need to sleep with; indeed, some people travel everywhere with their favorite pillow, strapping it to their roller bags or heading out into the wilderness with this one irreplaceable life partner stuffed into their backpacks. Beds aren’t just for sleeping; additional pillows are needed for reading, eating, mating, watching TV, and participating in conference calls. Choosing pillows is a momentous endeavor. How many pillows, and how big? Ruffled or rectilinear? Feathers or foam? Square, oblong, or shaped like a giant hot dog? What will your pillows say to you each night when you climb into bed with them? And how will you feel about them in the morning? EL
Pillows are more than just status objects; These functional classics need nothing more they are ergonomic equipment designed than a fashion update to become must-have to support the body at rest, work, and play. objects for the well-dressed bed.
THE HUSBAND This classic piece of portable furniture is like having an easy chair in your bed. The standard husband is now available with handy pockets as well as high-tech conveniences such as heaters and vibrators. What more could a wife want—except, perhaps a dog?
THE WIFE
THE DOG
THE WEDGE If you get bored with your husband, try the wedge, designed to elevate the pelvis during lovemaking. According to theory, the wedge provides an ideal angle of penetration. Some users just think it’s naughty to present their privates on a ramp. Whatever its source of charm, this functional object does pose decorating challenges.
CONGO NECK REST Pillows don’t have to be soft. The neck rest above was created by the Luba people, who live in the present-day Democratic Republic of Congo. Measuring a little over six inches in height, this tiny sculpture was carved in the nineteenth century and served to elevate the head during sleep. In addition to providing comfort, the object protected the impressive hair style of its user, whose tresses required around fifty hours to arrange into wedge-like forms. (Collection of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, accession number 1981.399.)
HAVE A NICE HAIR DAY
TRAVEL NECKREST These moon-shaped bags of buckwheat may be unsightly, but less so than your slack-mouthed head bobbing up and down in economy class. When you must sleep in a fully upright position, a travel neckrest provides a trace of comfort and a scrap of dignity. Try wearing one to your next leadership retreat or prayer breakfast.
ELIZABETHAN NECKREST
CROISSANT NECKREST
NECKREST W/SPRINKLES
DREAD SPREAD To achieve this dowdy look, arrange two pillows at the head of the bed like a pair of flat, matronly breasts. Tuck a bedspread (tufted chenille or quilted poly) snugly under the bust line.
THE WEDDING CAKE Decorating professionals call this style the wedding cake: a tiered stack of pillows lying flat on the bed in ascending size. The tiniest pillow sits, like a prize, on the very top. Bride and groom sold separately.
FILE DRAWER A bed can accommodate a vast number of pillows stacked parallel to the headboard. It is not uncommon for the pillows to take up more room than the people. Arrange from large to small. Have fun with contrasting colors, textures, and patterns. Have fun throwing your pillows on the floor each night and putting them back in the correct order each morning.
YOU TUBE In place of feminine puffery and frou frou, some homesteaders crave the crisp geometry of one long cylinder.
THE EXISTENTIALIST Perhaps making one’s bed each day is a false symbol of order and a pointless waste of time. After all, last night’s bedding is not truly fresh just because you’ve smoothed it out and tucked it under.
THE MCMATTRESS Massive houses require massive furniture. McMansion-scale beds have extrathick mattresses that require special sheets, spreads, and skirts.
THE POET Many people use the space beneath their beds as an extra closet. The entire bed can even become a storage device. Books and papers covered the bed of poet W. H. Auden, who is remembered for both his brilliant verse and his slovenly apartment.
THE SPARTAN The simple duvet cover lends itself to frequent laundering and easy bed making.
STILL LIFE WITH PRICE TAG
