“Thru many dangers, toils and snares I have already come. ’Tis grace hath bro’t me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”1
I WILL NEVER FORGET about twelve years ago when I was first starting out in the Christian worship world and nobody really knew who I was. I had just recorded my first record, but nobody cared what songs I had written. Nobody was calling to schedule me for their church conference or to help produce their record.
Jennette and I were newly married with one baby at the time, and we had an opportunity to be a “fly on the wall” during a radio program with gospel music legends Israel Houghton, Donnie McClurkin, and BeBe Winans. I was sitting in the interview listening to the exchange and the conversation as Donnie McClurkin and BeBe Winans were interviewing Israel Houghton who, at the time, was an up-and-comer. I’ll never forget something that Donnie said during the interview. The purpose of the interview was to find out how Israel was handling all the accolades and success he was receiving by his peers and the music world at large. Donnie said, “I am so grateful for the mountaintop experiences of where I am, but you know what, BeBe, I miss the fight!” And then he looked at Israel and said, “Enjoy the fight because you learn something in the fight that you wouldn’t otherwise ever learn.”
What he was saying was that when you’re fighting for your life, fighting for your ministry, or fighting for your marriage, your finances, your kids, you are building muscles that you would otherwise never build. The mountaintop is beautiful, but you lose sight of the beauty along the way. Sometimes before there is a resurrection, there needs to be a crucifixion.
Facing an “it’s not over” moment will certainly throw you headlong into the workout room of struggle. Struggle is not a word that you put on your annual Christmas card, nor is it a word that brings to mind images of joy and laughter. But just as an athlete trains his physical body, so can struggle strengthen and train your spiritual body. Most everyone wants the glory of hard work, but very few are willing to commit to the process.
Jennette was a division-one collegiate athlete for volleyball and still has vivid memories of early predawn runs through the hills behind her campus, swimming laps and treading water until her fingers and toes looked like prunes, hours spent in the workout room, suicide drills, sprints, jumping rope, and lap after lap running the stairs of the baseball stadium. And this was just preseason conditioning! Muscle strains, aches and pains, blisters and bruises, ice packs and heat wraps all came with the territory of those first several weeks of training. But she also remembers how this strenuous effort—however unpleasant it was at the time—shaped and honed her muscles and lungs and prepared her both physically and mentally for the long and difficult matches she and her team would be engaged in against opposing teams throughout the season. On more than one occasion in those lengthy matches that found each team fighting tooth and nail for every point, the team that had made the extra effort weeks before in the preseason was the team that came out victorious.
There is a graduation that occurs at the end of struggle that can catapult you into your next season, if you allow it and surrender to it. The journey of struggle involves release. You must fling yourself into the arms of Jesus and trust He is at work in your situation.
When you release yourself to the process of struggle, you learn to fight. You develop muscle endurance and strength and gain a confidence in your mission and purpose. The process of release and letting go of your “it’s not over” circumstance involves three steps: 1) being broken before God, 2) being rebuilt with His new strength, and 3) being resurrected in the next season of life. The Bible is a continued story about men and women being broken and surrendered to God, being rebuilt, and ultimately being resurrected into the next season of life. Time and time again we see illustrated in these vividly honest biographies how the process of being broken before God and being masterfully rebuilt in the power of His strength will resurrect us from our own unique and very personal “it’s not over” circumstance as victors and overcomers.
Everyone wants the victory, but few are willing to go through the process of being broken. Look with me for a moment at some examples in the Bible of men and women who submitted their “it’s not over” moment to God and allowed Him to rebuild their situation.
Though at no fault of his own, Job faced one of the most well-known and recounted trials in the history of mankind. He was broken and humbled before God and then—after a time—saw his health, family, wealth, possessions, and influence restored even greater than it was before.
Ruth lost her husband and was left a widow with no possibility of another husband. Yet when urged by her mother-in-law to return to the land of her own people, Ruth was determined to remain where God had placed her and soon thereafter married Boaz, who served as her kinsman redeemer.
The prophet Daniel was sentenced to death while in the service of a pagan king but had absolute confidence in God to deliver him. Daniel was not only delivered from the threatening jaws of the lions quite literally, if you recall, but he was also given authority to rule over that very same kingdom.
David was in exile, driven to find refuge in a cave on account of the rage of jealous King Saul, who had commanded an entire army to hunt him down. Yet David refused to kill Saul when he unexpectedly found himself in a position to do so in that same dark, damp cave, and he allowed God to promote him at the right time.
Paul, Gomer, Mary Magdalene, Esther, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John . . . from the Old Testament straight through the Gospels and the Epistles, the list goes on and on. As each person released their brokenness to God, they found strength in the process of struggle and came out stronger on the other side.
Now, please hear me; I am not advocating that God intentionally sends bad things (death, destruction, illness, calamity, heartache, tragedy, or loss) your way in order to teach you a lesson. In fact, I believe quite the opposite. The passage of Scripture in Matthew 7:7–11 is such a great image of our loving Father:
Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children. So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?
—THE MESSAGE
As children of God we live in a fallen, not-yet-redeemed world. The bottom line is that stuff happens, and as long as we live and breathe in this world, we will encounter our fair share of stuff.
I can picture it almost this way. Not too long ago I took my family to an outdoor recreation area that had rock-climbing walls, zip lines, and a ropes course—an obstacle course designed to be traversed on cables suspended between trees or utility poles several feet above ground. After completing the ropes course and taking a ride on the zip line, we moved on to the rock climbing walls. When it was my youngest son Micah’s turn to climb, he chose a rock wall that was visibly very difficult and probably not quite age appropriate for him. But Micah was insistent. That particular wall captivated his attention so much so that it seemed as if he were impervious to the degree of difficulty involved in successfully accomplishing this feat. I knew Micah would have to exercise muscles he had never used to climb this particular wall and, to me, would require instincts that typically take years of climbing experience to acquire. In fact, the rock wall was so steep at points that the climbers nearly inverted themselves as they ascended. I wasn’t quite sure I myself could maneuver my way up that wall, much less my youngest son.
Yet as Micah’s father I knew by allowing him to climb the rock wall he would not only build muscles, but more importantly, he would also build confidence. As the staff member was fitting Micah’s safety harness and securing his belay, I could see my son’s face begin to constrict as the color slowly ebbed from his cheeks. His eyes were darting back and forth from the wall, to his harness, to his mother and me, and then back to the wall. To say he was nervous about what he was about to do would have been an understatement.
After a deep breath he hesitantly turned to face the wall. Beginning at the very bottom he surveyed that mammoth structure in its entirety, tipping his head back to see clear to the very top. He took a moment to size up his own personal Goliath-size obstacle and then began to climb.
The first few movements came rather easily. But as he moved up the wall, the position of the rocks and blocks grew sometimes farther apart and more awkwardly placed. This meant Micah had to strategize and plan ahead where he wanted to place his foot and which handhold he would reach for next. As we hollered up to him cheers of encouragement, he would look over his shoulder for reassurance and for any guidance or strategic moves that might keep him moving. Spurred on by our cheers and applause, he seemed to gain more and more confidence the higher he climbed. He even looked over his shoulder less frequently.
When Micah finally reached the top of the rock wall, his face was positively beaming with exhilaration and pride in what he had just accomplished. You could see it all over him: “I did it!” Even from where we celebrated with him far below the platform, we could see a change in his physical posture. As he took in the view from his new perch, his shoulders were back and his chest was out, an involuntary external expression to the swelling pride and elation that was erupting like fireworks on the inside.
Even though I had been at the bottom of the wall the entire time Micah was climbing, ready to catch him if he happened to fall, through the strenuous process of the climb he exercised new muscles from fingers to toes that took him to new heights. When you go through a situation and release all the care, concern, and worry into God’s lap, you are building spiritual confidence and climbing to new heights in God. “God can do it!” Though your situation might look like it’s over, you might just be building new muscles and ascending a steep hill that will give way to an amazing view when you reach the top.
DON’T ALLOW THE STRUGGLE TO IMMOBILIZE YOU
Those few weeks in the hospital Josiah had to endure a very long and complicated surgery followed by several sessions of painful physical therapy. In fact, it was just shortly after surgery that the doctors and physical therapists came into his room to get him up and moving. Josiah was in such pain that the first goal given to Josiah by the therapist—to sit up in his bed for just a few seconds—brought on a flood of tears merely at the thought of moving. The incisions from Josiah’s surgery, his spine, and the front and back of his neck were all so tender and sensitive that the slightest bit of movement elicited desperate cries from Josiah to “make it stop.”
His therapist was incredibly kind and patient. She pulled my wife and me aside and very firmly stressed the importance of getting Josiah moving. She told us that as painful as it was for all of us, we had to let our son go through this process. She explained that the sooner Josiah got up and moving, the quicker his recovery would be. Josiah’s level of surrender to this process now could make the difference in his recovery between a few weeks or a few months.
The words the physical therapists told us taught Jennette and me a valuable lesson and did give us a benchmark to work for. But watching our son fight through the crying, pain, and pressure his physical body had to endure was almost unbearable. In fact, there were several occasions during these therapy sessions that both Jennette and I had to excuse ourselves from the room because it became too difficult to sit there and watch Josiah fight through the trauma. When it became too much, we had to remind ourselves of her words, “The quicker Josiah is able to get out of bed and get his body moving, the quicker his wounds will heal and his strength will return.” Though it seemed difficult, if Josiah didn’t get moving, his healing would only be delayed. When you grab hold of a struggle and begin to fight, the quicker your strength and healing will arrive. You can’t allow the struggle to immobilize you! You can’t lie in bed and refuse to give your physical and spiritual muscles movement, however painful it might be.
I find it interesting that in the Bible boys were considered to be men at the age of thirteen. Jewish culture continues to honor this rite of passage with the celebration of the bar mitzvah. It is also worth noting that this is roughly the age some would consider to be the beginning of the age of accountability, the transition that occurs when a boy begins to take responsibility for his own actions. It was at this time that these boys would then set aside their games and toys and would instead begin to study and work as an apprentice. That is why Jesus was a carpenter. He was studying his father’s trade. Though it is debatable and not exactly known, I believe Jesus’s disciples were around the age of thirteen or fourteen.2 They were studying under Him. It puts a whole different picture and understanding on biblical stories when you recognize the disciples could have been mere teenagers.
Today’s generation is far from seeing our thirteen-year-olds as men. I’m not suggesting we throw our teens into the workforce and put them in their own apartments, but sociologists say we are living in a time of extended adolescence. At a time when, as adults, maturity should be present, there has been a lack of accepted responsibility and an enabling of our young men to continue playing games (oftentimes, literally!) instead of assuming responsibility for themselves and their actions. These adults continue to behave as teenagers because they have not been equipped to handle and embrace struggle. They haven’t allowed the fight of struggle to mature them in their behavior and thought patterns and thus still behave like high-school boys.
In many cases parents fail to offer their children the opportunity to face any challenges or to figure things out for themselves because the parents want to make life comfortable and easy for their children. I’ve heard it said so many times from parents to their children, “I worked hard, so you don’t have to.” When you take away the opportunity to allow your child to struggle, you take away the opportunity to allow your child to learn and grow. The struggle is where boys learn “manhood” and, for that matter, where girls learn “womanhood.” There is a strength that comes when you learn to fight and take responsibility. As parents, or as children of God, you must put on the mantle of “grown-up believers” and embrace struggle as the opportunity to grow in your faith, grow in your determination, and grow in your witness to the world around you.
I’ll break this open more in the next chapter, but the true strength of struggle is recognizing that the only fight you have is with your faith, your faith in the covenant God made with you and with me. As believers the outcome lies not in our own hands but in the hands of God. In Judges 6 the Bible talks about the story of Gideon. Let me paint a brief picture describing what it was like to be an Israelite like Gideon at that particular time. The Bible says the Israelites “did evil in the sight of the LORD” and worshiped the gods of the Amorites, so God handed them over to the Midianites. Now these people were so nasty and their dominance so oppressive—destroying crops, laying waste to the fields, and crowding the land with camels and tents—that the Israelites took to hiding in mountain caves to escape the torture. And when they just couldn’t take it any longer, the Israelites cried out to God to help them. This is where Gideon entered the scene.
An angel of God was sent to inform Gideon that he had been chosen to free the people of Israel from the oppression of the Midianites. He was to start by removing the pagan idols from within the camp of Israel. The angel appeared to Gideon addressing him as “mighty warrior” (v. 11, NIV). That’s quite a compliment from an angel of God—mighty warrior! For a man to bear that name he must have been brave of heart and fearsome in stature, right? Not in this case. The Bible says that Gideon was from Manasseh, the weakest tribe of the twelve tribes, and that Gideon was the runt of the liter (v. 15). In fact, when the angel delivered his message, Gideon was actually hiding away, doing his work in secret so he would not be found out and robbed by the Midianites. Gideon felt unqualified to handle the daunting task before him and was slightly dubious that the Lord was really on his side as the angel had declared. And although life under the oppressive hand of the Midianites was far from pleasant, the Israelites were very comfortable living their worldly pagan lifestyle and not really interested in change.
To allay his uncertainty Gideon requested of God, on three specific occasions, a confirmation that God had handpicked him for the task. He was so unsure of himself and insecure, he needed God to continually reassure him that he was doing exactly what God asked of him. Gideon said, “If you’re serious about this, do me a favor: Give me a sign to back up what you’re telling me” (v. 17, the Message). It was almost as if Gideon was saying, “Listen, God, I really need to know this is You. Otherwise I’m going to get creamed by these people if You’re not with me.”
Isn’t that how we talk to God sometimes? “God, if this is really You, please send me a sign.” Gideon received confirmation after confirmation and decided to move forward with the assignment of leading an army to war. Gideon takes a small but well-selected army rightly chosen by God to go to battle with the Midianites and the Amalekites (v. 33). Gideon’s army was whittled down to three hundred men, and the Bible says they were facing too many men to count.
He [Gideon] divided the three hundred men into three companies. He gave each man a trumpet and an empty jar, with a torch in the jar. He said, “Watch me and do what I do. When I get to the edge of the camp, do exactly what I do. When I and those with me blow the trumpets, you also, all around the camp, blow your trumpets and shout, ‘For God and for Gideon!’” Gideon and his hundred men got to the edge of the camp at the beginning of the middle watch, just after the sentries had been posted. They blew the trumpets, at the same time smashing the jars they carried. All three companies blew the trumpets and broke the jars. They held torches in their left hands and the trumpets in their right hands, ready to blow, and shouted, “A sword for God and for Gideon!” for Gideon!”
—JUDGES 7:16–20, THE MESSAGE
Now this is the part I really want you to see. Gideon gave each man an empty jar, a torch, and a trumpet. Three things. God is so intentional in everything He does. As Gideon’s army was facing what seemed to be an impossible situation, God had them take three things with them. Interestingly enough, three is the number symbolic of completion in the Bible. God is going to complete what He starts! The army was instructed to carry the empty jar, or earthen vessel as it is described by some translations, which represented humanity or man; the torch, which represented God; and the trumpet, which symbolized resurrection. As Gideon’s army went into war, the army was instructed by Gideon to blow the trumpets and break their jars as the same time. Now picture this; the men carried their torches with the jar covering the flame and held their trumpets in their other hand. At the moment they faced their enemy, Gideon’s army was instructed by God to break their jars, representing the breaking of their flesh. The breaking of their earthen jars exposed the flame from their torch, allowing the light of God to go before them. At that very moment Gideon and the men blew their trumpets, announcing resurrection or victory!
Isn’t that exactly how it is with you and me at times? We feel, as was the case with Gideon, so unqualified or outnumbered, or, if we’re willing to admit it, even forgotten by God. Our enemy or situation seems so much larger and stronger than the resources we possess in the natural. But God is calling you, just as He did Gideon, to break your flesh in the light of God’s Word and blow the trumpet of victory, resurrecting newness of life and a changing of seasons. The strength that comes from watching God work on your behalf builds faith and pushes you to your next season.
The story of British Olympic runner Derek Redmond left an indelible mark on society by demonstrating an undeniable tenacity to finish strong and embrace the struggle he faced.3 Derek had trained his entire life to win an Olympic gold medal. Countless hours and intense workouts were spent with one goal in mind: to bring home a gold medal. Having had much success early in his career, winning medals in the 4x100 relay at the world and European championships and the Commonwealth Games, Derek was determined that his time for an Olympic medal would come at the 1988 Games in Seoul, South Korea. Much to his dismay Derek had to withdraw from the preliminary round of the 400-meter run just ninety seconds prior to his heat’s scheduled start time due to an injury to his Achilles tendon.
Although Derek was immensely frustrated, he didn’t allow the disappointment of this setback to discourage his goal. He would undergo a total of eight surgeries due to injuries, five of those in one year, resuming as soon as he was able to an intense training schedule with a gold medal in mind for the 1992 Barcelona Olympics Games. Derek endured the grueling physical workouts and intense mental focus required for an Olympian and was in perfect form by the time of his event.
Remembering the disappointment Derek had faced in the 1988 games, he was the favored contestant of the 65,000 fans in attendance on race day in Barcelona. His time was the fastest in the first round of the 400-meters, and he would win his heat in the quarterfinals. As the gun fired to signal the start of the semifinal race, the sprinters propelled into motion, each with the swiftness and agility only seen at this level of competition. Derek started the race well, but halfway through the back stretch coming into the final curve he pulled up suddenly and dropped to the ground. With a loud and practically simultaneous gasp the crowd stood to their feet in shock and disbelief. It was obvious that Derek was in excruciating pain. He had pulled his right hamstring muscle and was visibly crying out from the apparent intensity. In those few short seconds everything he had worked for vanished before his eyes. Derek’s gold medal would not be waiting for him at the end. Some 200 meters down the track the race had ended and a winner declared, but all eyes were fixed on Derek.
Through tears and tremendous effort, Derek pulled himself to his feet, barely maintaining his balance on his one good leg, and began to hop toward the finish line. Life had thrown him a curveball, and he could have easily been assisted off the field that day and no one would have thought any less of him. He had given his best attempt but was now physically unable to complete the race. But Derek turned a sour situation into a tear-jerking display of strength in the midst of trial.
As Derek hopped toward the finish line determined to finish what he had started, his father fought his way through security to get to Derek’s side, allowing Derek to lean on him as they limped toward to end. Derek knew that even though he had every right to quit, the moments of pain he endured while hopping were far less than the lifetime of pain he would feel by not finishing.
Sometimes your circumstances might feel like you are “hopping” through and barely limping along, but you build strength and create your testimony by embracing life’s “it’s not over” moments with confidence and your heavenly Father’s support. Even in the midst of a curveball, finish strong!
When Josiah first came home from the hospital, we had a bed, oxygen tanks, and all of his medical needs set up downstairs in our master bedroom. Josiah was still being monitored on oxygen equipment at night and needed us nearby at all hours. I went to say his prayers one night, and he asked me to rub his back as a comfort to help him lull off to sleep. The room was dark in preparation for bed, and as I was gently rubbing Josiah’s back, my fingers brushed across the top of his healing incision where the scar was starting forming from the stitches that ran vertically down the length of his neck. Initially I jerked my hand back
You know struggle will sometimes leave you marked. Genesis chapter 32 tells a story about twin brothers, Jacob and Esau. From the very moment of their birth, these brothers experienced much tension and fighting through the years. At this point in their story we learn that Jacob was hearing rumors that his bitter brother, Esau, was on the verge of attacking Jacob and his entire camp. As Jacob devised a plan to hopefully bring peace to his brother and safety to his belongings and family, he sent the majority of his caravan forward to flee from the suspected threat and then sat back and got some rest to clear his head and determine a plan. In the middle of the night an angel met Jacob, and the Bible says Jacob wrestled with this angel the entire night and would not let the angel go until he was blessed (vv. 24–26). Jacob fought in the spirit realm until he felt a release and received his blessing.
There are things you will have to fight and have the determination of Jacob to say, “I’m not letting go until you bless me.” The fight of struggle, like Jacob’s, will sometimes leave you marked. Genesis 32:25 says:
When the man saw that he couldn’t get the best of Jacob as they wrestled, he deliberately threw Jacob’s hip out of joint.
—THE MESSAGE
As I mentioned before, due to Josiah’s surgery, Josiah has a very large scar down the front and back of his neck. Jennette and I told Josiah that the scar will forever be a reminder of God’s faithfulness over his life. Josiah will always have a physical symbol, an outward reminder to himself and to others, that the hand of God covered and protected him when, in the natural, he easily should not be alive. Just as Jacob was marked by the angel of God, so Josiah can say he was marked by the hand of God.
While Jacob was wrestling with the angel, the angel asked Jacob, “What is your name?” (v. 27). His reply was, “Jacob.” In the midst of struggle, you must know your name. If you don’t know who are and what you believe, you will not receive the reward of the struggle. The Scripture says:
The man said, “What’s your name?” He answered, “Jacob.” The man said, “But no longer. Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on it’s Israel (God Wrestler); you’ve wrestled with God and you’ve come through.” Jacob asked, “And what’s your name?” The man said, “Why do you want to know my name?” And then right then and there, he blessed him.
—THE MESSAGE
Jacob was facing an impossible situation. Esau stood to attack him and take everything he owned. Jacob was worried, concerned, and possibly even terrified. He did everything he knew to do in the natural, but it wasn’t until he wrestled with the angel and was determined he wasn’t letting go that he received his blessing. Sometimes struggle will mark you, but allow the marks to remind you of God’s grace and catapult you to your next season. First Peter 4:12–13 says, “Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner” (THE MESSAGE).