“Where He leads me I will follow, I’ll go with Him, with Him all the way.”1
A FEW YEARS AGO I was rushing from my home church in Atlanta, Georgia, to catch a plane to be at another service for Sunday evening on the West Coast. A friend was driving me to the airport. We had only a small window of time to make the flight, so admittedly, we exceeded the speed limit a bit racing to catch my plane. If you’ve ever been to Atlanta, you’re well aware that Atlanta traffic can be a little crazy. We were driving about eighty-five miles per hour down the interstate near Jimmy Carter Boulevard, which is a highly traveled, well-populated area. There is not much farmland or open space in the vicinity. We were driving in the fast lane, closest to the center median, which stood about six or seven feet tall.
Now picture this; the center median is separating the northbound and southbound traffic. I was traveling in the traffic heading south, so for something to cross the median, it first had to cross the oncoming northbound traffic. Both directions were well covered with vehicles, all traveling at sixty-five miles per hour or more.
My friend and I were laughing and completely oblivious to anything else outside the vehicle. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, a deer, yes, an actual deer, leaped the center median and came flying toward our truck! Please don’t ask me how a deer made it across five lanes of traffic, leaped a center median, and was coming toward our vehicle. I have no idea where it came from. I have no idea how it got there or how it crossed all the other traffic. All I know is a deer jumped the median and hit our truck! Only by the grace of God were we OK. If the deer would have hit the car just a few inches higher, it could have come smashing through the windshield and, potentially, could have caused an extremely serious or lethal accident.
Isn’t that just like life sometimes, though? You’re driving along the road of life, laughing and having a good time, when all of the sudden, out of nowhere, a deer leaps the median and hits your car. Life can hit you out of nowhere.
When I received the phone call about Josiah, I was blindsided. Life was rolling along smooth and peaceful. But at that moment life left me asking why.
Admittedly one of the first thoughts that crossed my mind when I heard about Josiah’s accident was “What?” and then, “God, why? How could this happen to my son?” As natural human beings we simply cannot understand everything that occurs in our lives, both the good and the bad. But generally it’s the bad things that leave us asking why. Some people spend their entire lives rooted in why. God, why this and why that? Having been a staff pastor at a few churches, I’ve spent hours with people who are struggling with the why, sometimes even decades after the event. The why in their lives has them stuck in that situation, unable to grow and move past their circumstances, still struggling with the confusion, hurt, brokenness, and emptiness left by pain or rejection. I’ve heard many times, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Actually, bad things don’t happen to good people; bad things can happen to all people.
Take, for example, Job. The Bible says he did everything right in the sight of God and shunned evil (Job 1:1). But Job was attacked in his health, in his family, and in his finances despite his righteous living. Job was actually a type and foreshadowing of Jesus. The Bible says he was a righteous man, but disease, death, and devastation struck his life. Job was brought through the fire and, as you know, came out better on the other side. Life is not a respecter of people and will fall upon the just and the unjust. Matthew 5:45 says:
To show that you are the children of your Father Who is in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the wicked and on the good, and makes the rain fall upon the upright and the wrongdoers [alike].
—AMP
Let me be perfectly clear. I do not believe God sends bad things your way to teach you a lesson. I said this in the previous chapter too. In fact, the Bible clearly states that the devil is the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). God is not the author of bad things. God is the author of all good things.
The word devil is interesting. If you actually break the word down, you will find that it is derived from the Latin word diabolus. Dia means “to break through” or to “pierce through,” and bolus means “to continually cast at.” The enemy’s job is to continually cast accusation until he pierces through and keeps you from accomplishing your destiny. He wants to pierce your thought patterns and pierce through your faith. The enemy’s job is to remind you of what someone said or did to you ten years ago, to remind you of your past and how others hurt you and failed to fulfill their promises to you. The enemy never gives up until he can break through your thoughts and you start believing the lies and actually think God is not for you. You can only justify it by saying, “Why else would all this mess be happening to me?”
There was a season after we returned home from the hospital when Josiah was having bad nightmares. He would wake up in the middle of the night crying, saying he was dreaming the accident was happening again, and he was scared to fall asleep. He would constantly ask, “Daddy, why did this have to happen to me? It just doesn’t seem fair.” Jennette and I spent a lot of time praying with Josiah and explaining that we can’t control the circumstances in life, but we can control how we respond to the circumstances. We explained that though it seemed rough, it could have been much worse, and it’s only by God’s grace he was saved! Josiah is a walking, talking, and breathing miracle.
If you’re not careful, life can make you take an easy detour and get caught in what I call the “Valley of Why.” When you get stuck asking why all the time, you can end up living your entire life in the valley. Geographically, the valley is the low spot. If you are in the valley, you are at the lowest possible position, and you are at the bottom looking up. The valley can sometimes position you in the seat of being the victim. Oftentimes the valley is a state of mind. In the valley you’re always feeling left behind, always taking the short end of life, assigning blame to other people, and offering excuses as to why you are the way you are. God didn’t design for you to live in the valley looking up. Living in the valley of why can cause you to get stuck and never move into your full purpose.
Now please hear my heart; I’m not saying you should never ask why. Being instinctive, cognitive, and intelligent men and women of God will require that you internalize and investigate your life and life’s issues. I’m referring to never being able to move on with your life because you are still holding on to the bitterness, brokenness, and hurt that materialized in your life from a situation that happened to you yesterday or years ago.
I’ll never forget sitting in my office one day at a church that I worked for several years ago. As a shared responsibility all pastoral staff took a day of the week on which we rotated the duties of counseling and addressing church member’s questions, concerns, or issues that needed to be discussed. We referred to the role as POC, or pastor on call. I was in the office fulfilling my POC duties one day, and I remember having the receptionist buzz my assistant, saying there was a lady who urgently needed to see me. Normally drop-in appointments rarely worked with my schedule, but it just so happened that my previous appointment canceled, and I was free at that present time.
My assistant went and met the lady and escorted her to my office. As she sat down, I looked into her eyes that appeared to be well into their sixties and heard these words come out of her mouth, “Ricardo, I used to hate you. I hated you when you came on staff.”
“Umm . . . have we met? Do I know you? How dare you walk into my office and say you hate me, especially without an appointment.” All of this and a few other things went through my head as I sat there obviously stunned by her blunt and cold opening comments.
In all my years of ministry I’ve dealt with many things and even with unkind feedback, but I’ve never had anyone walk up to me and tell me they hated me. My disbelief obviously translated to my face because the woman continued by saying, “Let me explain. I was raised by an extremely prejudiced father, and I was trained to hate blacks, Hispanics, and all people that didn’t look and act like me. My entire life was about hatred. I’d seen you lead worship many times, but at six five and with Caucasian skin color, I had no idea you were Hispanic until they introduced you as Ricardo Sanchez. It was then that I immediately felt this hatred toward you develop inside of me.”
I felt a little relief knowing I hadn’t intentionally done something to offend this lady. She simply hated who God made me to be. The woman continued with her story: “The hatred I had for different races began to overflow into every other area of my life. I hated everyone. When my dad passed away several years ago, I hated him and was angry about many things he had done to me. I began to ask God why he allowed so much hurt to affect my life. Why didn’t God protect me? Why wasn’t God there when I needed Him most? And then I realized I was allowing what my father did to me to still control my life many years later! I decided to take responsibility for my own actions and my own feelings. I didn’t want my children to hate and continue the legacy of prejudice that my father had passed onto me. I forgave my father and instead of asking why, I decided to take what I’ve had to learn and help other people.”
Wow. I sat stunned by the honesty and character it took to probably come and share everything I had just heard. But I knew this was also part of her healing. Like this sweet lady who had the boldness to visit my office that day, there are people who are allowing the whys in their lives to control their actions and thought patterns many years later. You might not ever have an explanation for the why in life, but you can control how you respond and move forward after the why.
I love the story of Mary, the mother of Jesus. She was a young girl, maybe twelve years old, when the angel of the Lord appeared to her and announced she would give birth to the Son of God. Having a child out of wedlock during that time was brutally shunned and the offender labeled and disregarded by society. Mary stood to lose everything. She easily could have said, “Why, God?” but her response in Luke 1:38 was, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy Word. And the angel departed from her” (KJV).
You might not know the purpose for the events in your life. They might be unjust and they might be somebody else’s fault, but if you position yourself with the “be it unto me” attitude and use everything in your life for the glory of God, you’ll move from the valley into victory.
TURN THE VALLEY OF WHY INTO WORSHIP
One thing that helped Jennette and I move from the valley of why when evaluating the circumstances surrounding Josiah and his accident was worship. Take a twist with me and picture the letter Y as a metaphor for the why in your own life. Picture the Y as hands lifted to God in worship. Notice in the picture below where the valley is located and where the abundant life is located.
In order to stay out of the valley and spiritually on the mountaintop, you must stay in a constant attitude of worship to experience the full life of John 10:10. Despite what your situation looks like or what people may have said or done to you, you must stay in an attitude of worship before God. Interestingly enough, if you look at the Y you’ll notice there is a slope heading into the valley. A slope is easy to slide into and, because it’s difficult to climb back out, it’s easy to stay stuck in the valley. On the contrary, climbing up the slope is difficult and might require some effort. Be intentional with your life, your thoughts, and your words. Life’s detours might not make sense, but God has a way of piecing the brokenness together. If you are in the midst of a situation that seems hopeless and you’re not sure why you are going through it, lift your arms in worship and trust that though you don’t see God at work, He is working on your behalf. Don’t get stuck in the valley of why. Turn your why into worship.
That is the exact picture I get of the story in Exodus 17. The Israelites were in a battle against the Amalekites. The Bible says that Moses, Aaron, and Hur went to the top of the hill above the battle, and whenever Moses raised his hands, the Israelites were winning, but when his hands were down, the Amalekites were winning. When you are in a battle of why, you have to lift your hands in worship!
There are some people who have been in the valley of why so long it just seems normal. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re stuck in the why because you’ve been there so long. Have you ever heard of a stink zone? When I was a boy growing up in Arizona, it was my family’s Sunday ritual to drive to an adjacent town about sixty miles west of Scottsdale to visit my grandmother in a town called Avondale. Avondale has since developed into a buzzing sub-metropolis of Phoenix, but back then it was an extremely rural and not very developed community with nothing but fields between the two cities. My grandparents, who spoke only Spanish, had settled there many years ago because of the year-round opportunity to pick lettuce and onions in the nearby fields, which was their livelihood.
Every Sunday my family of eight would pile into the station wagon and travel to Grandma’s house for lunch and a family get-together. On our drive through the fields and rural crops, we would always hit this one section of town that stunk so foul and putrid we could hardly keep from plugging our noses when we stopped for snacks at the town’s small gas station and convenience store. We couldn’t understand how anyone could ever live with such a stench. My father would always say, “That is all these people know. They don’t know it stinks because they’ve only lived here and don’t know any better. How would they know it is supposed to smell any different?”
There are some people who have lived in the valley so long, they don’t know anything different. They don’t know what life can look like from the mountaintop of worship. The valley has become comfortable, but God did not design for you to live in the valley. God already went to the valley so you didn’t have to.
Your situation may stink, but worship can change your perspective from the valley to the mountaintop. Your circumstance is temporal, but your worship is eternal. Ephesians 4:9–10 says:
Is it not true that the One who climbed up also climbed down, down to the valley of earth? And the One who climbed down is the One who climbed back up, up to the highest heaven. He handed out gifts above and below and filled heaven with his gifts.
—THE MESSAGE
Jesus climbed into the valley before ascending into heaven. You and I no longer need to live in the valley of despair, the valley of unforgiveness, or the valley of regret. We can lift our hands in worship because we know our risen Savior has all the answers we need. We may not understand the natural circumstances of life, but we serve a God who does, and we can rest in His provision and protection.
I want to address something I believe is a necessary issue to touch on briefly. My wife and I recently were talking with a dear friend who experienced betrayal in her marriage. This friend of ours made note of something I believe is a very real yet often unaddressed issue of the Christian life—feelings. Yes, it is true that you cannot allow your feelings to control you. However, not letting those feelings control you doesn’t mean you deny those feelings exist. I think there is a religious voice that says, “Christians shouldn’t have anger, hatred, disappointment.” Christians shouldn’t allow those feelings to control them, but it doesn’t mean those feelings aren’t present. You can’t live with those emotions in your life, or they will eventually destroy you. But as you walk through life, you will experience emotions you must surrender to God and allow the work of the Holy Spirit to wash away the root and negative emotions. When you allow God to pull out the root, you will walk away with a testimony and a story that will pull someone else from their valley.
On the same subject of feelings, I’ll never forget talking with a family member who is very dear to my heart and who experienced both verbal and physical abuse and several affairs in her marriage before eventually deciding to file for a divorce from her husband of thirty years. Ten years after her divorce, she sat crying at the kitchen table during Thanksgiving one year saying, “Ricardo, I’m a Christian, but I can’t get past the hatred. I wake up hating my ex-husband and everything he did to me. I know God doesn’t want me to hate. What do I do?”
As people we have to process and work through the emotions that come with life’s “it’s not over” events. You must allow God to do a work in your heart. You are not a victim to your feelings. Just as we had to walk through the emotions with Josiah and how to handle the fear that wanted to control his life, so do you and I continually have to process how we handle the thoughts that develop from circumstances in life. Put your focus on God’s Word, not on people, and your feelings will fall in line.
No matter what your feelings are telling you or how hung up on the why you are, you must do as Elijah says in 1 Kings 18:21: “How long will you waiver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is god, follow him” (NIV).
Now to set this passage of Scripture up, Elijah had announced several years prior that there was going to be a famine in the land. Ahab was king, and he and his forefathers were evil in the sight of God and worshiped the prophets of Baal. Elijah was nothing more than the mouthpiece for God, but to King Ahab, he symbolized the reason for the famine. Elijah told Ahab to summon all the people and gather them together at Mount Carmel.
Elijah asked them, “How long will you be controlled by your feelings?” During that time Ahab’s wife, Jezebel, was a zealous worshiper of Baal, who was the rain and fertility god. Though the Israelites were known to be worshipers of the One True God, many were converted to the pagan and idolatrous ceremonies of Baal. To put it in modern-day terms, Baal was popular. The king’s wife, who had a platform of influence, openly participated in lavish acts of sensual worship in honor of the fertility god and swayed people by her position. There were Israelites who were moved by the ability to touch, see, and smell something they could put their faith in. They were moved by their emotions, not their faith.
Now this is my opinion: when things dry up and you’re in a famine, just like the Israelites were, it is easy to be swayed by what you can see rather than what you know. You can’t allow your feelings to dictate your actions just because you can see the results. You might feel anger, but if you act on your anger, you will reap a natural harvest. If you act on your bitterness, you will reap a natural harvest. The natural harvest of feelings is lustful and leaves you wanting more. When you act on the Word of God, you will reap a harvest birthed by the Spirit of God and produce a peace and assurance that you are not in control but God is.
So the Israelites and Baal worshipers gathered at Mount Carmel, and Elijah says in essence, “How long are you going to let your feelings control you? How long are you going to be swayed by what feels good at the moment? How long are you going to let your flesh control the situation?” And here is what Elijah proposed. He told every one of the four hundred fifty prophets of Baal to gather a bull to sacrifice on the altar and to call out to Baal to see if he would answer their cries. The prophets of Baal cried out all day and nothing. Nobody answered. There was no response. Then Elijah gathered everyone around him, and the Bible says he repaired the altar, which the Bible says had been torn down.
Elijah took what had been walked on and discarded. He took what was thrown away and treated as unimportant. He took what had been left for lost. He took what everyone else stopped putting value in and repaired it. He repaired the place where God would visit him and where he would visit God. Can you relate to what I’m talking about?
Maybe you’re in a place where you need to repair the altar where you visit God and you allow God to visit you. Repair your prayer time. Repair your worship time. Repair the time you diligently seek Him. It’s at the altar where your feelings get right. It’s at the altar where your heart turns soft and you are able to hear the voice of God. Elijah repaired the altar that was torn down and put his sacrifice on the altar. The Bible says he dug a trench around his sacrifice and began to pour water on the altar:
And he made a trench about the altar, as great as would contain two measures of seed. And he put the wood in order, and cut the bullock in pieces, and laid him on the wood, and said, Fill four barrels with water, and pour it on the burnt sacrifice, and on the wood. And he said, Do it the second time. And they did it the second time. And he said, Do it the third time. And they did it the third time. And the water ran round about the altar; and he filled the trench also with water.
—1 KINGS 18:32–35, KJV
I can only imagine what the Israelites where thinking. You have to remember that Elijah had the attention of the entire town. They are all out to watch the showdown between God and Baal. They all wanted to see who would answer. I’m sure there were many people who were thinking, “What in the world is he doing digging a trench? Why is Elijah wasting our time?”
What they didn’t understand was that Elijah was being obedient. You might not understand some of the reasons you are doing what you are doing. You might not understand why you are having to “dig a trench” metaphorically speaking, but as you’re digging, you’re activating your obedience through faith. You might not understand why you have to pray, why you have to give, why you have to remain obedient, but as you’re “digging your trench,” you’re preparing a place for the presence of God to come and sit around your offering!
I had no idea why I had to learn to sing when I was five years old. My parents weren’t even believers. I was digging a trench. You might not understand why God has you serving in the children’s ministry or why you are praying for a wayward child. You are digging a trench. You’re preparing a place for God’s anointing to come and fill your dry and barren land of famine. Dig a trench around and protect those things that God has asked you to consecrate to Him, and allow His anointing to fill your trench.
As a teenage boy one of my first jobs was working as a bag boy at the local grocery store near my house. Being seventeen and working with other young men around the same age, it was apparent that most of the kids working at the store really wanted the money but very few really wanted to work. The most valued job amongst the employees was the one of collecting all of the shopping carts that gathered in the parking lot after customers loaded their groceries. We’d usually have to draw straws to see who would get to collect the carts on any given shift. This was a highly sought-after task because it was most of the employees’ time to sneak in a hidden break.
My coworkers thought that because they were in the parking lot collecting carts, nobody would be looking or watching them, so they would meander in the parking lot, sneaking in a quick smoke behind a car or whatever they tried to disguise as work. Though I was your traditional teenager in many ways, I couldn’t get past the thought, “What if my manager is watching? What if I worked like my manager was watching.” And so my mantra became: “Work like your manager is watching.”
When it would rotate to me to collect the shopping carts, I would run from cart to cart in the parking lot, gathering the carts as quickly as possibly and returning to my post inside or to assist wherever needed. After several months I was called into my manger’s office. My manger said, “Ricardo, I’ve been watching the way you work. I appreciate your tenacity and diligence, and I would like to promote you.”
When you’re walking through a valley, it sometimes feels like God isn’t watching, like nobody cares, but the valley is where you must diligently focus your efforts. God is not only watching over you, but He is also watching how you respond to the valley.
Waiting there in the terminal of the airport after receiving the news about my son, I was fighting my flesh—fighting the thoughts that my son would never walk again, fighting what the doctors were telling us. I felt like I was fighting something bigger than me. I was fighting my flesh when I heard the enemy tell me my son might have to breathe through a tube in his neck. I was in the valley, and the valley was trying to get in me. I had to fight the flesh.
I felt like the woman with the issue of blood must have felt in the Bible as she was frustrated by her condition and circumstances surrounding her, yet knowing that if she could just get to Jesus, she would be healed. As you may remember, this woman struggled with her flesh for twelve years and was unable to get better, though she visited a number of doctors. Mark 5:25–26 says:
A woman who had suffered a condition of hemorrhaging for twelve years—a long succession of physicians had treated her, and treated her badly, taking all her money and leaving her worse off than before.
—THE MESSAGE
It is obvious this lady was exhausted. Not only was she physically sick, but I’m guessing she was also mentally sick of people using her condition to better their cause and their pocketbooks. The doctors who were supposed to be helping her were taking advantage of her. They were taking her money but doing nothing to help her.
I love the picture I have in my mind of this woman. There was a crazy crowd of people around Jesus. People were pushing and fighting to get to the Savior. This lady had to fight through flesh literally, just to be able to touch Jesus. But she also had to fight the flesh mentally. She had to fight through the bad doctors’ reports. She had to fight through the thought of all the money and resources she had exhausted, yet wasn’t any better. And, I’m sure, she had to fight through family and their opinions and judgments about her dismal situation. I love that the woman with the issue of blood knew she just needed to get to Jesus. She knew she just needed to get to the Savior. Even in the crowd she had to literally fight through people to finally touch Jesus. Up to the very last minute she had to push “the flesh” aside to see Jesus. Her faith knew He was the only one who could heal her: “For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole. And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague” (Mark 5:28–29, KJV).
Flesh will always try and get in the way of you getting to Jesus. You must be determined to move the flesh aside in order to get to the virtue that flowed from heaven. When the woman with the issue of blood touched the hem of the Master’s garment, Jesus said, “Who touched my clothes?” (v. 30, KJV).
Jesus will recognize and immediately acknowledge the touch of faith. The disciples were confused because so many people were touching Jesus, but the woman with the issue of blood touched Jesus with her faith, and virtue flowed from Him.
The valley can be a place where virtue flows if you push the flesh to the side and pursue Jesus with faith. Press in and don’t allow the flesh of people or the flesh of what the world says to stop you from getting to the Savior.
When I was at the doctor recently for a checkup, my doctor mentioned one of the best and healthiest things to do for the body is to do an annual fast. Literally starve the flesh at least once a year to cleanse from the toxins and give your body and organs a break from the overeating. The flesh needs to be starved sometimes in order to see Jesus.
TURN YOUR WHY INTO YOUR WINDOW
Rather than stay in the valley of why and concern your life with the weight and pressure of the situation, turn your why into your window.
Genesis 37 introduces the story of Joseph and his journey from the pit to the palace. Early in the story we learn that Joseph had immediate favor upon his life that caused hatred to develop in his brothers’ hearts toward him. Joseph was the youngest of his brothers and was his father’s pride and joy. Joseph’s brothers were working in the city of Dothan.
Interestingly enough, Dothan, by definition, means “two wells.”2 I believe “two wells” is symbolic of the two choices you have when life throws you a curveball. You can choose the “well” of bitterness and anger, or you can choose the “well” of life and surrender to God even though you may not understand the situation. Joseph’s brothers plotted to kill Joseph and leave him for dead in a city that literally meant “two wells,” and Joseph literally had to choose which “well” he was going to allow to manifest in his life.
Joseph didn’t do anything to deserve being thrown into the pit and left for dead. Joseph couldn’t have expected or anticipated the journey his life would take. The Bible says Joseph’s brothers threw him into a cistern that was dry, literally with no water in it (Gen. 37:24). Have you ever been thrown into a symbolic dry, barren pit in your life? Being thrown into a pit in Dothan, I believe, is symbolic of Joseph’s choice to turn his why into his window.
Joseph easily could have spent the remainder of his life sulking, wondering why his brothers were so mean to him, why his life was so unfair, and what he did to deserve such horrid treatment. He could have stayed in the place of wondering why God forsook him and left him to die. But he didn’t mistake the dry, barren pit as a sign that God had forsaken him—and you shouldn’t either. Sometimes the pit is about what you choose to do and how you react to the why. What you do with the why in your life can qualify you for victory or defeat. Joseph went from the pit in Dothan to the king’s palace in Egypt. Pharaoh told Joseph:
From now on, you’re in charge of my affairs; all my people will report to you. Only as king will I be over you.
—GENESIS 41:40, THE MESSAGE
Even though you might not understand your current season, you can turn it into a window of God’s favor, blessing, and provision.