“Breathe on me, breath of God, fill me with life anew. That I may love what Thou dost love, and do what Thou wouldst do.”1
I’LL NEVER FORGET ministering at a church conference a few years ago for a pastor I hadn’t met until the conference began. I was on the platform leading worship and was playing with a “house band,” of sorts, that had been formed from musicians from around the country. I didn’t have the comforts of my own team to lean on. I’ll never forget, right in the middle of the second worship song, the power for the sound system went completely out. Nothing. No sound at all. The equipment that amplified what we were doing went silent. I’m not sure if you have ever been at a concert or even a church service when the power goes out, but it completely stops the flow and the environment you are trying to create, especially in a larger venue like the one mentioned above.
With no sound, I kept leading worship like nothing ever happened. Initially the band, as well as the congregation, looked stunned and a little bit like the adage “a deer in the headlights.” But as I continued and moved on with worship, unaffected by the distraction, they too joined in, and we had a sweet time in God’s presence. I found it interesting that after the service had ended, the other musicians came up to me and couldn’t believe we didn’t stop playing or even skip a beat when the sound cut out. I told the musicians what I tell musicians all across the country: that platform is a metaphor for life. What do you do when the sound cuts out in life? You keep going! You don’t stop. You don’t let it fluster you. You don’t act awkward like it’s a sign that you weren’t supposed to be there in the first place. You don’t throw a temper tantrum and yell at those around you. You keep moving forward! You have to move on and determine that there will be certain spots you are not going to stop on in your journey called life! Just like when the sound system cut out on me, there will be opportunities for you to stop playing when you are on the stage of life, but you must move forward unaffected by the distraction!
Most people get confused and think life is about what you see, but life is really conquered in the things you don’t see. There are spots or snags throughout life where you will have to make internal choices that you are determined you are not going to stop and allow the circumstance to dictate your destiny. You are not going to get hung up on some of the snags that can trap your purpose. You must refuse to get stuck on what I call “the not spots” of life. The main “not spots” I’ve identified are heat seekers—bitterness, unforgiveness, and worry.
Inevitably there are always those questions and even pieces of “aftermath,” if you will, from trials and “it’s not over” circumstances that can leave a stench, a smell, a foul odor, or whatever you want to call it, that can emotionally cripple your purpose if not dealt with and dissected with God’s Word. You have to have some issues settled in your heart and determine, “God, wherever You lead, I will follow!”
No matter if you are on the mountaintop or in the valley, one of the spots you cannot stop on is “heat seekers.” There will always be people who don’t want you to change, who don’t want you to grow, who have nothing positive to say about your future and where God is taking you. Sometimes these are the people closest to you—possibly even your family. Though they might have good intentions, they might not have God’s intentions. These are the people I’ve come to call “heat seekers” and a “not spot” to avoid in the walk of life. Let me explain.
Several years ago I was at an outdoor shopping center in Scottsdale, Arizona. As I was walking from the parking lot into the complex, a beautiful black Mercedes drove in front of me. As the car rolled passed, I noticed one of the strangest sights I’ve ever seen. A snake was slithering out of the car’s front hood. In disbelief my initial and gut reaction was to shout, “Hey, there’s a snake coming out of your car!” hoping the driver would hear me. I had to shout a few times, getting louder with each time so the driver would stop.
Finally, my shout caught the diver’s attention and the attention of those around us. He quickly threw his car into park and jumped out of the vehicle, leaving it idling in the middle of the crosswalk. All the commotion caused a small crowd to form around the reptile and the man’s Mercedes. It seemed a bit dichotomous to have a rattlesnake slithering out of a luxury vehicle. One of the groundskeepers of the shopping center came over to assist and capture the four-foot long rattlesnake.
Afterward, as the three of us talked, I discovered that the groundskeeper was a long-time native of the Arizona desert and well versed in the habitat and lifestyle of reptiles. The owner of the vehicle asked the man why on earth would a rattlesnake be coming from his car, and the response was highly insightful. The groundskeeper said that reptiles, of any type, are unable to produce their own body heat. When temperatures drop, the animals must still find a way to stay warm and will seek external heat sources. This particular rattlesnake probably slithered underneath the car to lie on the engine to stay warm.
I’ve realized there are people in life who, just like the rattlesnake, are unable to reproduce their own heat and will try and seek out other people from whom they can steal heat. They are unable to find their own dreams, their own purpose, and their own vision. These same people always seem to be the doubters, those people who only look at the natural and are unable or unwilling to see the supernatural with hope and faith.
I read a story recently that I loved and perfectly describes the heat to which I’m referring.2 A university professor was determined to undermine the Christian faith and those students who represented biblical truths in his class. He asked the class one day, “Did God create everything that exists?” One student bravely replied, “Yes, sir, He did. God created everything.” Thinking he had the class on a one-way trip to his agnostic point, the professor continued, “Well, if God created everything, then God created evil. Evil exits, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.”
The students became quiet before such an answer and were unable to respond to the professor’s witting. The professor was pleased with his demonstration and was quite proud of his skills in instructing and boasted to the students that he had proven once again that the Christian faith was a myth.
A quiet class sat intimidated by the trickery, when another student raised his hand and said, “Professor, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” replied the professor.
“Does cold exist?” asked the young man.
Almost belligerent the professor replied, “What kind of question is that? Of course cold exists. What a silly question. Have you never been cold?”
The other students snickered at the question and the bantering by the professor.
The young man replied, “In fact, sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is merely the absence of heat. Everybody and every object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or mass have or transmit energy. Absolute zero, -460 degrees Fahrenheit, is the total absence of heat. All matter becomes incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold, in fact, does not exist. Cold is a word we have used to describe how we feel if we have too little heat.” The student continued as the professor sat perplexed, “Professor, does darkness exist?” Professor, does darkness exist?”
The professor replied, “Of course it does.”
And the student replied, “Once again, you are wrong, sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. Darkness cannot be measured. Darkness is only measured by the amount of light that penetrates the darkness, and so I suggest it is with your theory of God being evil. Evil simply exists as the absence of God’s presence. Evil is a word created to describe the absence of God’s love present in your heart. God is not evil.”
By definition of the laws of physics, heat is what makes a body have or transmit energy. When you spend time with God and pursue His plan for your life, you produce a heat that transmits into movement and direction. As you read above, cold is merely the absence of heat. Just as snakes are unable to produce their own heat, there are people who choose not to spend the time with their Maker and walk in a loving relationship with their Creator. You lose your heat, for lack of a better description, when you choose decisions that remove you from the presence of God and His direction on your life.
A person who has lost his heat is aimless, lost, negative, and oftentimes might describes themselves as “just being real.” Haven’t you ever met those people? You know the ones who say brutally honest comments not tempered with love and sensitivity, and they throw out the clause, “I’m just being real!” Usually those people who are “just being real” have no interest in growth and improving their own issues in life. They’ve become comfortable in stealing others’ heat and are “being real” in order to lift themselves up and put others down. Heat seekers are people who have failed to pursue God on their own but desire the blessings of those who have. They are unwilling to spend the time with God to hear His voice and follow His direction for their own life. You must surround yourself with people of purpose and passion and not get stuck on relationships that aren’t going to move you closer to God’s plan for your life.
Saul in the Bible is such a perfect example of someone who lost his heat and who sought out external sources because he was unable reproduce his own, just like the rattlesnake. First Samuel 15 talks about Saul’s kingship. Saul began his walk as a “nobody” and was truly humble before God. Samuel served as a priest and mentor over Saul’s life, and Saul found strength in Samuel’s wisdom and advice. Saul was truly anointed to serve as king and was sincere in his walk with God.
If you read in 1 Samuel 16:14, the Bible says, “At that very moment the Spirit of God left Saul and in its place a black mood sent by God settled on him” (THE MESSAGE). The spirit of the Lord departed from Saul because, if you read previously in 1 Samuel 15, Saul, through his own pride and arrogance, chose to remove himself from the presence of God’s covering. God gave Saul very clear direction in 1 Samuel 15, and Saul was too proud to listen to God’s direction. Listen to what 1 Samuel 15:12 says about Saul, “Saul’s gone. He went to Carmel to set up a victory monument in his own honor” (THE MESSAGE, emphasis added).
Saul lost his own heat the very moment he decided he should get the glory instead of God, who anointed him king in the first place. God has a plan that is specific for you, and you alone. You must spend the time with God and exercise disciplined efforts to keep your own “heat” alive, and avoid those people who are looking to borrow your purpose and the anointing on your life and ultimately will drain your energy.
In identifying heat seekers in your life, you must be aware that those people may manifest in a variety of different ways. I’ll never forget what happened a few years ago after a service one day at a church I worked for. The church happened to be in a part of the country where, unfortunately, racism was still an issue. After leading worship, I was standing around talking with a few people in the church when I noticed a lady standing nearby waiting to talk to me. I made myself available, and I will never forget what she said: “Ricardo, you just need to get on your burro and go back to Mexico!” Wow. I was shocked. “Are you kidding me?” I was thinking. I was dumbfounded that it was 2005 and someone had the audacity to speak such vile, hateful words.
You know the Bible says in Matthew 12:34, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” People will call you by what they see or by what they think, but Jesus will always call you by your destiny! Your enemy knows your name but calls you by your weakness. God knows your weakness and calls you by your name. You can’t allow people’s words or actions to cause you to stop moving forward. You must realize people are not your source; neither are they your answer. Your destiny doesn’t lie in the hands of people; your destiny lies in the hand of God.
Have you ever sat down to eat what looked like an amazing meal and taken a bite of vegetables that looked tantalizing, but after you bit into them, you realized there was a bitter piece that left you looking for a trash can to spit into? Bitterness leaves an aftertaste that is unpleasant and lingering. You almost have to eat something else to wash away the bitter taste if you’ve ever eaten anything bitter. So it is with life. Bitterness is lingering, unpleasant, and leaves a horrible aftertaste in the mouths of those you encounter and, again, is a “not spot” of the Christian life.
“Sure, Ricardo, it’s easy for you to say. Your son is alive and walking. Your story turned out to be a miracle.” I recognize you may have walked through trials and have come through on the other side with results not ending quite like you pictured. Maybe you thought you would be farther along in life than you are currently. Maybe you never thought you would have to deal with some of the issues and mess that have come your way. Maybe you thought you’d be married by now, or maybe you thought your marriage would have never ended. The tendency in life, when you suffer difficulty, is to walk away with bitterness or anger at the longsuffering you endured. In fact, one of the definitions of bitterness is marked by resentment or cynicism.3 Resentful of where you are, resentful of the loss you’ve endured, resentful of people who have treated you wrong, resentful of situations that seem unfair . . . the list could go on and on.
There has to be an intentional, determined mind-set to address and release bitterness, intentionality toward the mantra “Too blessed to be bitter.” To focus on the issue, the problem, or the wrongdoing will only provide “crawlspace” for bitterness to breed. Bitterness is an emotion that will enlarge when given the space and will grow into hatred, a hard heart, and a closed door to the things of God. What you focus on will grow.
I heard a statistic recently that was so interesting to me. A well-known weight-loss company was airing ads on the radio to solicit business, and they said that the average weight gain over the holidays, from Thanksgiving through the New Year, is only one pound! I was shocked. That commercial went on to say, “It’s the mind-set that people have over the holidays.” The mind-set is to gain weight, so people think they have gained more than they truly have. The mind-set grows and gives you the impression you’ve gained a surplus of weight. Bitterness is the same way. It’s a mind-set that will grow and affect how you think, how you process, and how you interact with people.
Let me show you something that blew me away when reading the Bible. I’m sure you are familiar with the Passover ceremony when the angel of death would see the blood of the lamb on the doorposts and literally pass over the Israelites’ house. But have you ever connected the Passover to bitterness? Let me show you what God showed me recently. Read Exodus 12:1 when the initial instruction for the Passover is given:
Now the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt . . .
—EMPHASIS ADDED
God spoke to Moses and Aaron while they were still in Egypt. God spoke while they were still in their bondage, while they were still held captive by their oppressor. Do you know how brutal the Israelites were treated while in Egypt? The Israelites were the slave dogs. They were the grunt workers. They were at the beck and call of the Egyptians and were treated with indignation, disregard, and abuse. But God spoke to them while they were still in the middle of the bondage and spoke to them about their freedom and about the release of any bitterness they may want to take with them from their bondage. “Bitterness?” you say. “I don’t remember it talking about bitterness.” Let me show you.
During biblical times the hyssop plant was used to cleanse. It was symbolic of a detergent, if you will, and was often used to clean sacred places, such as the temples. In fact, you can read scripture after scripture in the Bible where it references being cleansed with hyssop. Read what David wrote in Psalm 51:7: “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”
The hyssop plant is known to be an odorless root but to have a bitter, nauseous, somewhat acrid taste. Now follow me. If you were to simply smell the plant, you wouldn’t notice anything odd. It’s not until you bite into the root that you would want to spit it back out! That’s how bitter people are. You wouldn’t notice it by looking at them, but once you bite in, metaphorically, you open up a bitter, nauseating taste.
This is what the Israelites were instructed to do with the hyssop:
And you shall take a bunch of hyssop, dip it in the blood that is in the basin, and strike the lintel and the two doorposts with the blood that is in the basin. And none of you shall go out of the door of his house until morning.
—EXODUS 12:22
The Israelites were instructed to take their bitter root and dip it into the blood of the lamb and paint it over their doorposts. You have to take those bitter things and bitter roots in your life and dip them into the blood of the Lamb and wash them in the blood that was shed on the cross of Calvary for you and for me. Only the blood of Jesus can cleanse bitterness. You have to dunk your bitter feeling in the blood. It is only by the blood you can release bitterness. You have to leave it at the cross. Remember, once the Israelites painted their doorposts, the angel of death would pass over their house. When you leave bitterness dipped into the blood of Jesus, the death angel will pass over your life. It might be the death of your will. It might be the death of your pride. It might be the death of your own agenda, but the death angel will pass over when the blood is present. The blood will cleanse the “not spot” of bitterness.
Did you know God actually instructed the Israelites as to how they were to eat their Passover meal? Look what Exodus 12:11 says:
And here is how you are to eat it: Be fully dressed with your sandals on and your stick in your hand. Eat in a hurry; it’s the Passover to God.
—THE MESSAGE
Why in the world would God take the time to instruct the Israelites to eat fully dressed, with their shoes on, and their keys in their hand? They had to be ready to go. This wasn’t a “kick back and stay awhile” meal. They were prepared to move at the very Word of God. Basically, the bitter root was to remain in the blood, and the Israelites were to be prepared to move from bondage into freedom at a moment’s notice. God does not want you stuck in bondage with bitterness hanging over your house. Though the Old Testament is just a picture of what was provided in the new covenant, the law and sacrificial order give us a clear and distinct picture of exactly what and how God wants His children to live—free from oppression, both spiritually and emotionally.
Bitterness is a root that can grow and deepen until it has destroyed the vessel in which it is rooted. Read what Hebrews 12:14–15 says:
Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.
—THE MESSAGE, EMPHASIS ADDED
Michal, one of David’s wives, was watching one day as he was bringing the ark of the covenant back into the city. She was watching from a window, looking down onto the street as David was dancing before the Lord and the ark of the covenant and all the people, and the Bible says, “She despised him in her heart” (2 Sam. 6:16). Bitterness will set in when you sit back from afar and watch the things of God, judging rather than participating.
Michal was Saul’s daughter and had been around the ark of the covenant her whole life. She was familiar with the presence of God, possibly too familiar. Michal knew all about it, but she lacked the intimacy David had with the Lord that allowed him to openly dance before Him without a concern of what people thought. Just like Michal, looking from a window above David, you can be sure bitterness has taken root when you look down on others around you. Bitterness judges and condemns.
I find it interesting that Michal was given to David to be his wife right after he finished one of his greatest battles and defeated the giant Goliath. The whole country was high on David and sang and shouted his praises. The Bible says in 1 Samuel 18:28 that when Michal was given to David in marriage, she loved him very much. As a side note in fact, the Bible goes on to say that this is the point when Saul initially realizes how much favor is on David and recognizes how much his own daughter loves David. You can see the hatred begin to settle in Saul’s heart.
But what happened between 1 Samuel 18 and 2 Samuel 6 when Michal went from loving David to despising David? What happened from a soft tender spirit to a hard, judgmental woman looking detestably through a window at her husband? Life happened. Whatever it was—whether it was the pressure from her family because her father despised David or if she felt neglected as David continued to develop a friendship with her brother Jonathan—somewhere along the way Michal stopped on the spot of bitterness and allowed it take root in her heart. The bitterness grew into hatred, and the hatred ultimately kept her from participating actively in worship before God. She became critical and probably began to process life with comments like, “Yeah, I’ve seen that before” or maybe “You should see what David is like at home.” Whatever the reason, she held wrongdoings in her heart that made her hard.
Michal proves to be a great example of why it’s important to protect your heart from the bitterness that tries to take root through life’s “it’s not over” moments.
In 2007 I cowrote a song titled “I Am Forgiven.” I’ll never forget one of the first times I sang the song in a church setting. The chorus of the song goes like this:
I am forgiven
I have been given another chance
No condemnation
Your grace is sufficient to cover my past
Your love is more than enough
More than enough for me.4
I was singing this song during the altar call, which was given following a powerful message. A man who looked as if he had lived a hard life responded. There were probably a few hundred people who responded to God that day, but it just so happened this man was standing right in front of me in relation to where I was on the platform. I could hear the man shout out to God, “God, can You really forgive me? God, do You know what I’ve done?” Because the music was playing, nobody could really hear him but me. His sincerity and desperation touched my heart. You could see he was truly looking for answers, but he couldn’t get past the thought that God couldn’t forgive someone who lived a life less than perfect.
The Bible says in Ephesians 4:32: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (KJV).
Before we even address the issue of “shun the un,” we must first settle this issue: no matter what you have done in life, nothing is beyond the reach of Christ’s love and forgiveness. No sin is too heinous or too bad that you can’t bring it to the cross and receive love, acceptance, and forgiveness. What Jesus did on the cross is done. That same generosity of forgiveness that God has extended to us as believers is to be extended to those people in life who offend and wrong you. “Wait a second, Ricardo. You have no idea what they did to me.” No I don’t, but forgive them.
Sounds easy enough, but when people do things or life happens, forgiveness sometimes is easier said than done. However, unforgiveness will rot and cripple your relationships with other people and with God. I’ve heard it said that harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Choosing not to forgive is trying to tell the offender, “I want you to hurt as badly as you made me hurt.”
Unforgiveness is a not spot and really should be regarded as one of the most dangerous emotions to harbor. Unforgiveness is the root from which bitterness and anger spring and can oftentimes be recognized with certain thought patterns that you must intentionally arrest at the moment they try and rear their ugly heads.
You may not know it, but you wear unforgiveness on your face. You wear unforgiveness in actions and your attitudes toward other people. The Bible says in Proverbs 23:7, “As he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Have you ever noticed that unforgiveness forces you to sometimes go where you may not want to go? Unforgiveness can actually control your life. “What are you talking about, Ricardo?” you might be saying. “I do what I want. I’m not controlled by unforgiveness.”
Let me explain with a story. My parents got divorced after thirty-two years of marriage. Though I was an adult when they finally divorced, there was a tremendous amount of family issues that had built up through the years. Resentment, unforgiveness, and anger were just a few of the emotions welling up in my life at that time. I would avoid going to certain weddings, birthday parties, or events if I knew certain family members were going to be there because of the unforgiveness in my heart. The unforgiveness, whether I would have admitted it at the time or not, made choices for me and withdrew me from spending time with the people I loved.
After I had met Jennette and we had become engaged to be married, I knew I didn’t want to carry the same emotional patterns into my life with her and our new beginning together. We were getting ready to create our own family, and I wanted to start with a clean slate. Through the process of my parents’ divorce, there were several things that opened the door for me to hold unforgiveness in my own heart toward my father. I hadn’t spoken to my father in over three years. There was a lot of anger and hurt toward my dad through the divorce and from years before. Even though I was an adult, the pain and hurt affected me in a deep way. I didn’t want to give that root of unforgiveness a foothold or any opportunity to breed in the family I knew Jennette and I would one day start.
Little did I know at the time, God was going to give me three sons of my own. All along I was the so-called “Christian,” yet I was waiting for my father to initiate reconciliation. I remember feeling the Holy Spirit’s nudge to make things right with my dad. I was sitting in the basement of a friend’s house and I rang my father. My dad answered the phone and said the words, “Hi, son.” I immediately broke into tears. I hadn’t been called “son” in over three years, and the emotions of unforgiveness I had been holding shattered on the phone that day. I wept with my father and asked him to forgive me for actions and attitudes that I had done to wrong him. I realized that it was my pride that kept me from calling my father sooner because I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. I was expecting my father to come to me, but the lesson I learned was this: the release of forgiveness, whether you think you are right or wrong, will open the doors of favor and blessing over your life and over household.
What would happen if you chose to forgive someone you’ve been holding resentment against? What would happen if you picked up the phone right now and made a phone call and released forgiveness to someone on the other end of the line? Forgiveness can be scary. Forgiveness can be vulnerable. Forgiveness or unforgiveness can extend beyond generations. What if you broke the cycle for your family and offered forgiveness?
I would be lying to you if I said that men don’t worry, but in general and according to a nationwide survey, it’s been found that women worry nearly twice as much as men, with financial worry being the greatest concern of all.5 After a quick consultation with my wife, I’ve learned that women can worry about everything from paying bills on time, to their kids’ future, to uncertainty in relationships, to the newest strain of deadly diseases put out by the CDC, to approaching deadlines, rising gas prices, world hunger . . . the list goes on and on.
Worry and fear can control and govern your thought process and interfere with how you view God and interface with His promises. Worry is relentless and, just like bitterness, will continue to grow and dominate your thoughts until arrested.
Proverbs 12:25 says, “Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word picks us up” (THE MESSAGE). Worry weighs you down. Worry makes you heavier. Worry makes life burdensome. Worry is a “not spot” of life and can only be snuffed out when you choose to feast on the Word of God and not what CNN is saying. God never intended for you to worry. Worry is a manifestation of a lack of trust in God and who He is. If you truly believed what His Word said, why would there ever be a need to worry. God has it under control!
Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They didn’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don’t worry about these things.
—MATTHEW 6:27–31, NLT
Worry is waste—wasted time, energy, and emotions. Nothing is ever accomplished by worrying. First Peter 5:7 says, “Give all your worries to God, for he cares about you” (NLT).
Worry will wear you out! It’s exhausting to worry, and the irony is this—worry does absolutely nothing to change your circumstances. I recently read a statistic by an online British publication put out in 2008 that said, on average, “Women will spend seven years and ten days stressing, while men will spend five years, eight months, and 23 days.”6 What a waste of time! Don’t waste your time on worry, but instead trust that God is at work.