I turned my head aside to discreetly stifle the beer belch. It didn’t work: the damned thing escaped anyway, as did the accompanying guilty giggle. It was echoed from the other side of the table.
‘Oh, you’re just class, girl,’ Maggie said with a slightly exaggerated wave in my direction.
‘At least I tried.’
As soon as it was a socially acceptable hour, we’d shifted camp to The Arms. There were, thankfully, only a handful of patrons, most of whom barely registered our arrival. Perfect by me, though I did take the care to turn my back to the rest of the pub. If people did happen to talk about me, I preferred to stay ignorant.
Two hours later, the place had filled up considerably and so had I. Maggie and I had carefully avoided any conversation about the whole Lockie business; instead, we had busied ourselves with the consumption of impressive quantities of beer while talking utter drivel. Beer – the choice of chumpions. I generally got too bloated to want another drop before I got to the hideously pissed stage; nonetheless, I had quite a sway on when I finally had to get up to pay my respects to the ladies’ room. I wove my way over to the small hallway, and thought I had made it to sanctuary without being accosted when a large hand slapped my shoulder.
‘Sam, Sam, Sam.’ The slur in those three words told me Trevor Ray had put quite an effort into his drinking tonight too. ‘Who’s been a naughty little girl, then?’
Oh Christ, just what I needed right now – a pissed old geezer in a confined space. I looked over his shoulder, desperate to catch anybody’s eye.
‘Your friends in the Fuzz have been checking up on you. Wanted to know if you’d been out to see me? Think you’ve been popping off the opposition, do they?’
Man, living in a small town was a pain in the arse sometimes. I leaned against the wall for support, knocking a stuffed trout trophy askew in the process, and removed his hand from my shoulder.
‘Mind your own business, Trev. It’s nothing to do with you.’
‘Hah, that’s right. This is bloody brilliant: the Fuzz versus the Fuzz.’ His chuckle was positively girlish. ‘You do my heart good, girl. It’s bloody hilarious.’ The offending hand had found its way back onto my shoulder.
‘Well, I don’t find it bloody funny at all.’ I had an overwhelming urge to wipe that childish grin right off of his face and was about to forcibly remove his hand from my shoulder when someone else did it for me.
‘Off you go, leave the lady alone.’
Trev looked indignant for a second and then, when he saw who it was, grinned again and obligingly shuffled off, prattling on to himself about police suspecting police.
‘Thanks, Cole.’
Cole worked for Trev, which probably explained why Trev was willing to take the hint.
‘Lockie told me.’ It was brief but direct and, considering how much I’d had to drink, so was my response.
‘Well, it’s a crock of shit. Did they tell him about the doctor?’
Cole’s brows clashed together. ‘The bastard.’
‘How’s Lockie taking it?’
‘Not well.’
‘You make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, you hear?’ To emphasise the point I leaned forwards and jabbed him in the chest. He grabbed the offending hand and bent down to give me a good look.
‘You’ve had too much to drink.’ It was a statement, not a question, and no defence I could mount to the contrary would have had a leg to stand on.
‘Just enough to take my mind off it all.’
‘Did you drive here?’
‘No, no, no, no, no,’ I said, shaking my head. Oddly, Cole kept shaking long after my head had stopped moving. ‘The bastards took my truck off me. I’m wheel-less.’
‘I’ll give you a ride home.’
I was going to protest, then thought better of it. It had been a shit of a day, and bed was an alluring prospect.
‘Where’s Maggie?’ he asked, assuming, correctly, we would have come here together.
‘Over by the sofas. But I gotta pee first.’ I lurched into the bathroom.
When I finally got out of the ladies’ room, Cole was still leaning against the wall, ready to escort me over to Maggie. She looked up at our approach and waved cheerily.
‘I was wondering where you’d got to. I was just considering sending out a search party.’
‘I was accosted by the toilets, but thank God Sir Lancelot here came to my rescue. We’ve got a ride home.’ I patted Cole on the arm.
‘Hallelujah,’ she said, and then gathered up her bag. She wobbled over to Cole, stood up on tiptoes, soundly kissed him on the cheek and proclaimed, ‘My hero.’
I believe the hero blushed.