“No. I won’t do that,” he managed to say quietly.
“But you’re Devon ‘The Devil’ Wilder. Rumor has it you sleep with everyone under the sun. Am I not attractive to you?” A wrinkled deepened between her eyebrows.
For a second, he wished he could just pull her into his arms. He’d give one of his kidneys to tear up that cherry-red dress and fling it to the other side of the room. Screw her against the wall, hard and fast. Deep.
A surge went through him, and he shifted in his seat, trying to hide his throbbing erection. Earlier that day, the surveillance guy had told him there was one number she dialed often, and he had tried it. And, to his surprise and frustration, it had been the office of a shrink specializing in women victims of abuse. How right was it to bring her into his messy life? Whether she lied or not; whether she slept with his brother or not, that woman was broken and he wasn’t the one to fix her. Didn’t know how.
“That’s not the problem. Have you been sexually abused or assaulted?” She surged to her feet. “Is there a freaking sign on my forehead?” “What?”
“How do you know?”
He walked to his kitchen, and opened the cupboard to get two square glasses. His intention had been for this meeting to be alcohol free. Damn it, he needed every working lucid brain cell he could count on. The idea of a tortured, abused Elena burned a hole in his gut. And right now, alcohol was his only release. “I checked on the numbers you dialed frequently and found Dr. Hodge.”
“Why did you check my phone records?” she asked, and a second later, she cocked her head to the side, as if figuring out the answer herself. “You didn’t trust me.”
“Can you blame me?”
“Is that why you won’t help me with my, er, problem now?” She cleared her throat. “Because you still don’t trust me? Or is it because I’m damaged goods?”
No. I’m damaged goods. “I’m just not the right type to help you get your mojo back on.”
“You said it yourself though. Attraction just happens.”
He grabbed the bottle of bourbon and filled the tumblers generously. “It does. But knowing what you probably went through, I can’t set out to have sex with you and leave you. Wouldn’t be right, even for me.”
Tears threatened to spill out of her eyes. “That’s bullshit.”
“Try this.” She needed a boost to cope with the rejection, and so did he. Her hand trembled slightly as she received the glass from him, and his heart squeezed like a three-hundred pound bench press sat on it. For the first time in his life, not sleeping with someone he wanted badly was the right thing to do. And the more they deviated from that subject, the better. “How much do you know?”
“Just about her expertise. I Googled her. Did you know your attacker?”
She took a swig at the drink, then slammed the glass on the coffee table. “Yes. Too well. He was my ex-husband.”
His shoulders sagged a notch, as if he had been tossed on the couch. Quietly, he digested her words, and his body kept up with his brain. He stiffened, and curled his fists so hard, his nails bit into his palms. Her ex-husband? “What?”
The tears ran freely down her reddened cheeks, but she didn’t sob. “I was married for three years. He was the second guy I ever slept with. When we got married, I wasn’t super experienced. He liked to have sex a lot, and I assumed that was normal.”
Devon took a gulp of his own drink, the flavor scorching his throat. “Enjoying sex is normal.” Judging from the frown on her beautiful face, whatever her husband was into, wasn’t. And he just wished he could punch the dirty bastard.
“That’s what he kept telling me. First, it was a couple times a day. Then, he wanted more times a day. After a while, it didn’t matter if I said no.”
He could feel the hot throb in his temples. He looked down at his drink, but this stomach was so damn unsettled he didn’t drink it. “You said no?”
“A few times I tried. Then I figured I’d just better keep quiet. Sounds stupid, but in the beginning I wasn’t sure what was going on. If it was normal or just a phase. I prayed it was temporary. My parents had been married for over forty years… I stuck by to see if we could make it. I come from a traditional Italian family. I was taught as a child that divorce was the easy way out. God. Do you wonder why I needed therapy?” she said, and although she tried to inject some humor at the end, he didn’t miss the nervousness dripping from her voice.
“Did you talk to someone?”
She took a swig at the bourbon, and he could tell she wasn’t used to drinking much because she coughed hard. A bit of alcohol dribbled at the corner of her mouth, and she wiped it with her finger. “I didn’t have any friends at the time. I met someone, Kika, who also helped me see that Timothy’s behavior was abnormal. But the other female friends I confided in said I should be lucky he wanted to have so much sex.”
“I’m sorry,” he said in a low whisper, as if it had been his fault.
“You don’t understand. He was a sex addict. Whenever he wanted, I had to do it. There was no mood, no romance, nothing. I was just a body for him. He watched porn whenever he wasn’t screwing me. Whenever I said I was sore or hurting, he would tell me to ice it.”
“Why didn’t you leave?”
She gulped down the remaining bourbon, and sat the glass on the coffee table. Then, she sat back down with a sigh, and he imagined the alcohol buzz was getting to her. “I loved him at first. That’s why I married him. Why I stayed? I didn’t want to give up that fantasy…that we were happy. I kept hoping one day he would get better and we would be like we were when we dated. Stupid, I know. I guess I left him too late. One day, I had internal bleeding and…”
“Tell me where he is. I will kill him,” he said, rubbing his temples, which were about to fucking pop. A rush of anger bolted through him.
“What? No. That is why I didn’t say anything to my family. My brothers are over protective and I didn’t want any of them to end up in jail.”
“So that criminal is free?”
“Somewhat.” She gave him a sad smile. “Trust me, someone with those issues can never be completely free.”
What kind of silver lining bullshit was that? “That’s poignant, but not fair.”
She shifted on the couch, fingers drumming on her lap. “I learned to deal with it and move on. That’s why I left New York. It helped me with the healing process.”
“Your family still doesn’t know?”
“No. At first, I felt like a failure for asking for a divorce. I got over that, but I can’t go back to where I was emotionally three years ago. I wanna move forward.”
He swigged another good dose of liquor, but the aftertaste was more like a boost of adrenaline than calming as the bourbon burned his throat. Too intense. “What makes you think you’re ready for sex?”
Standing up, she gazed at him, her coffee-colored eyes wide with hope. “Because ever since I started working for you…I don’t think. That’s the thing. I want to do it. I’ve done enough analyzing in therapy. Now I just feel this…thing,” she said, fanning herself, “that’s truly so new to me it makes me believe I can start over again.” Her voice was filled with such raw emotion, that he fell back as if it was strong enough to punch him.
He clasped the tumbler. Why mislead her? She deserved everything, and damn it, just months ago he was in an open relationship. They were polar opposites. “I’m flattered, Elena. You are a gorgeous woman. But I’m just not the guy to guide you in that journey.”
She straightened her shoulders, and stared at him for a second that stretched beyond comfortable. For the first time in his life, he had a hard time holding a stare. Particularly when her eyes gleamed, not with happiness or joy. Did he just hurt her by trying not to hurt her? Shit.
Out of the blue, she blinked, and fetched her bag from the sofa. “Okay. I guess I’d better get going,” she said in a rush of words.
“Are you—”
She strode past him, her heels clunking on the floor. “Don’t worry, Devon. I’m keeping my end of the bargain.”
He turned to her. “I was gonna ask you if you are okay to drive.”
“Yes. I’m fine. Bye.” She got to her entrance, and for a while it seemed the only sound besides his racing heart was the clicking of her heels. When he could no longer hear them, he threw his glass against the wall. He had just rejected her, for all the right reasons.
Getting her out of his head…was a different story.
“You okay?” Holly asked. “You’ve barely said a word.”
Elena managed to smile. Thank goodness she had put on a generous amount of concealer under her puffy eyes that morning. “I’m fine. Just preoccupied with some work stuff,” she said, then bit into the blueberry muffin. If carbs couldn’t help her forget how he rejected her the night before, all was lost.
Holly took a bite of the breakfast granola bar. “Did you hear anything else about the woman who kissed your boss?”
“What? No.” She edged closer to her friend, heart pounding. “Why? Have you?”
“No. Although I ran into Jennifer in the lobby café and had an idea. What if we had whomever we suspect talk to her? She can recognize their voice. And maybe up close—”
Her heart slammed against her ribcage. She waved her off. “Holly, that’s a silly idea. Trust me, the best thing is to stay as far from Devon’s sexual life as possible.” As per his request. She took another bite of the muffin.
Holly stuck out her tongue. “You’re no fun.”
“That seems to be the general understanding.” She glanced at her watch. “Time to go. Talk to you later.”
On the way back to her desk, she thanked the gods Devon had been busy most of the morning. Keeping a straight face in front of him was a task that even Cate Blanchett wouldn’t manage. Okay. Maybe Cate would.
Still. Her pulse quickened. Devon had done the right thing last night, just when she had hoped he wouldn’t. What kind of dark twisted bitch had she become? The man wasn’t a bastard. He could have taken advantage of her, but he had said no.
Which was why she needed to figure out who had, in fact, stolen from the company. In her heart, she just knew it couldn’t have been Devon. Why would he have surveillance get her phone records and investigate her? Because he believed she was the thief. Which, only meant, he wasn’t. Her cell phone buzzed but she ignored it. She got her iPad and typed some questions to ask him, adding that seeing the reports would be ideal.
Toby. Her friend Janie worked for Toby. Maybe she had noticed something odd in recent weeks? Was asking okay? Nah, she couldn’t put her friend in the middle of all this. She drummed her fingers on the tablet. Enough people were involved already.
“Still here?” Devon asked, returning to his office from an afternoon meeting.
“I have something to ask you.” She stood up and followed him into his office.
He started gathering his things, and grabbed his tablet from his black Louis Vuitton messenger bag. He frowned at her. “I already said no.”
“Oh. No. Nothing like last night,” she explained, waving her hands violently to help make the point. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to see the reports with the fake accounts. Maybe a fresh set of eyes can find something you’ve missed.”
He stopped what he was doing, and tapped his fingers on his desk. “Okay, but I’ll stay while you take a look. It’s confidential information.”
“Of course.”
What did he expect her to do? Run away with the files?
Either way, he gestured for her to come sit at his oversize leather chair, and flicked his sleek large monitor on. Clearing her throat, she sat on his chair, and a thrill of excitement surged through her.
She inhaled, and the woodsy notes of his cologne swirled around her.
Focus. He leaned over her to type the password, and she turned her face. A bit too late for that, sure, but getting into deeper trouble just wasn’t in the cards.
The nearness of him, though… She remained still, her palm clenching the arm of the chair. How sad that he didn’t want her…that he had said no to her pitiful attempt at seduction.
“There you go,” he said. Was it her perception, or was his voice a notch rougher? Didn’t matter. Shaking her head, she glanced at the numbers on the screen.
“Were you guys able to find out where the money went?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Not yet.”
“Look at the dates and time. They all happened on Tuesdays and Thursdays. At lunch time.”
“Yeah and?”
“This one.” She pointed at one of the small printed numbers. “This transaction happened at lunchtime on Tuesday four weeks ago. That’s when we all had cake to celebrate Toby’s birthday.”
“It still doesn’t mean someone can’t make a click.”
“I know that. Maybe if we ask for footage from that day, we can see if people who would have access to confidential information look suspicious.”
“Doesn’t make sense. If someone from a different floor or outside the company did this, as it’s quite possible, they wouldn’t be at the birthday party.”
“No. But if you attended the birthday party, that clears you 100%. Were you there?”
He threw his head back on the chair and sighed. “I think so. A month seems like so long ago. I can call surveillance tomorrow and ask for the tape.”
“That’s a good start. Meanwhile, I wanna take a look at these some more…”
For the rest of the day, Elena tried hard to concentrate on work. Holly distracted her with a couple emails regarding who she thought Devon’s mystery girlfriend was. The truth burned at the tip of her fingertips, but she decided to type some advice for her colleague to drop the subject. If only Holly knew that kissing Devon wasn’t all fun and games. At least not to Elena.
Devon waited until the end of the work day to bring her the files, which she imagined was why he finally had the time to hover rather than leaving her alone with them.
“Are you done with your chips?” Elena asked, noticing his half empty bag and forlornly digging in hers for the last of the crumbs from the snacks Devon had pilfered from the break room.
Devon put the bag aside and played with his pen. “Yeah.”
“Mind if I finish it?” she asked just for the sake of asking, and before he answered she snatched it to her side and grabbed a barbeque chip from the bag. “Yum.”
He watched her. “Really? You seem more excited about those cheap chips than the oysters last week.”
She didn’t even try to suppress the laughter floating up her throat. “I guess I’m a cheap date. Not that this is a date, I mean.” She shifted on the chair. “Besides, I’m sure your dates are a lot more sophisticated.”
“True. Not always so much fun.”
She took a bite of a chip. “Not according to your ex.”
He rocked back his chair, and a sigh escaped his lips. Was he tired of talking about that subject in general? She, of course, had never brought it up. Until now. “Touché.”
She sipped on her Coke. “I’m sorry. If it makes you feel better, I never read her interview.” At first, it didn’t seem right to get into someone’s business like that, especially without their approval. And now? It would be plain torture to know about his shenanigans with his ex who reminded her of a young Halle Berry. Yup.
He flashed her a smile. “Thanks. I guess.”
Change the subject, a little voice inside her warned. This was the perfect time to talk about the cellulite he was never going to see. “Did she lie? I mean, about the open relationship part? I’ve heard that was the rumor.”
He rubbed his eyes and yawned. “It wasn’t a lie.”
“Why? Why would anyone agree to something like that?”
“People who don’t understand make it out to be this big deal. I dated her for a year. She didn’t want to be with just one person for the rest of her life, neither did I. We didn’t have orgies, Elena. But if I wanted to pursue someone else, she didn’t care. And neither did I when the situation was reversed.”
“Why keep the relationship then?”
He shrugged. “We had things in common. Enjoyed each other’s company.”
“Sorry. I guess the thought of sharing someone is so foreign to me. I respect your lifestyle, but I just don’t understand. When I meet someone, I’ll want him all just for myself. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly.”
He chuckled. “I can scratch the ugly. I’ve lived it.”
“It’s different when you love that person,” she said, and gave herself a mental slap. How patronizing could she sound? What if he had loved Regina? Then again, would he have just said they enjoyed each other’s company? That seemed so…casual.
He dipped his head and pulled her to him, locking his lips onto hers with an eagerness that surprised her to the bone. Say what? She lifted her hands to his chest, her fingers trembling at the touch. Should she pull him closer or push him away? Her thoughts swayed back and forth like a ballroom dance.
He intensified the kiss, and she opened her mouth wider, her body making that decision for her. The little hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, and when he licked her earlobe, she gasped. Unlike the other kisses, this one came completely out of the blue, like both of them had no say in it.
Before she realized, he was easing her onto his desk. She barely registered the sound of files, the tablet, pens, and other small objects shoved to the side, some of them falling to the floor. Breaking the kiss, he gazed at her.
Fear was like the dimming light of a faraway lighthouse. Maybe it wasn’t as bright as sunshine or as strong as the gusty wind, but damn it, it was there. What would happen? The last time she had had been forced to have intercourse, well, she ended up in the ER with internal stitches.
But these were much different circumstances, of course. And they were happening with a much different man.
“I’m not going to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he said, his voice soothing like a kiss. “Do you believe me?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. Did she? On a sexual level…
“Yes.”
“Whenever you want me to stop, just say so.” “Okay.”
He nudged her legs apart with his hand. Her thighs trembled, and she sighed. Relaxing was hard, but did she even want to? No. The searing sensation teasing her nerve endings was too good to let go. He peeled off her underwear, and she bucked toward him, helping him.
Was he going to screw her on the top of his desk? All the employees had gone home, and there wasn’t anyone but the two of them on the twelfth floor. Maybe it was better this way—to get it over with.
He dipped his head between her legs, and she clenched her inner muscles. Tensing up, she slanted him a look.
“Relax, Elena,” he suggested.
She closed her eyes, and decided to give it a try. Thankfully, she had waxed her bikini line just in case he’d agreed to her seduction request the day before.
He kissed her inner thigh, and she moaned. His lips were soft and full, yet there was a commanding quality about them. Her skin prickled under his touch.
The swept of his tongue over her thigh sent a rumbling through her body. She squirmed, and he caressed the back of her knee with his hands, the kneading bringing more turmoil than relief. Oh. My. God.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked between her legs. “No,” she choked out.
“Tell me when to stop.”
She inhaled, then hissed out some air. “Okay.”
Using his index finger, he outlined her swollen lips, caressing her lightly. She quivered, and it was like someone had set her stomach on fire. Who was she kidding? Her entire body was a delightful, incendiary mess. With a groan, he slipped his finger into her. Rubbing. Teasing. Circling.
Arching toward him, she gathered her courage and gazed at him. A wicked smile curled his lips, and he looked at her with the intensity of a train in full motion. She didn’t shy away from the stare, and something inside her softened. Warmed.
“You’re stunning,” he said.
So are you. The soft office light cast a glow over his gorgeous and smooth ebony skin. She wished his designer suit and jacket were on the floor. To have him naked and fully appreciate his body. The possibility caused a primeval rush of adrenaline, starting at the top of her head and surging all the way down her curling toes.
She stayed with him, focusing on him until he leaned down and his head disappeared between her legs. The moment he started to kiss her, oh, she knew it—that heaven wasn’t just a six-letter word. Her eyelids dropped, and she moved her head from side to side. Unrest brewed and grew from her very core.
Her clit turned into a bundle of nerves, and it didn’t help her that he started flicking it with his thumb. Hhmmm… She squirmed, her legs fidgety, her body darting signs at her that she wouldn’t—couldn’t—last long.
Suddenly, he intensified the rhythm, and his tongue thrust into her, swirling into her wetness. Moans she could no longer suppress flew from her mouth, free and wild like birds let loose from cages.
The ceiling moved, or was it just her blurry vision? Sweat beaded her skin, and crazy tremors surged through her, as she undulated. For a moment, she died— her body subsided, and a blissful peace filled her.
“Wow.” She wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. Devon smiled at her, and watched her with a lot less intensity than before.
She shifted to a sitting position, feet dangling. What was happening now? Her pulse spiked. Were they going to have sex in his office? She didn’t have condoms or anything, besides—
“Here.” He handed her the undies.
She chewed on her bottom lip. “Thanks. What’s next?” “You should go home and get some sleep.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t have any condoms with me,” he said. “Besides, I think you should ease into it.”
“Ease into it? Like surfing lessons?”
“You’re not ready to go all the way yet. You told me to stop just now. With your eyes. You were worried.”
How could she argue against him? He was probably right, even though she felt ready. “Since sex is your expertise and not mine, I have to agree. We’re going to though, sometime, right? All the way.”
A smile curled his lips. “That’s the plan.”
She shoved her panties inside her bag, and adjusted her skirt. Didn’t need to touch her hair to know it was messy, but she did it anyway. “What made you change your mind?”
“You.” He stared deep into her eyes. “You changed my mind.”