“So good to see you back up there,” Deb said as she passed by with a tray full of drinks.
I was headed back onto the floor after finishing my second dance for the night and I realized how much I’d needed it. With everything that had happened, the way my life had changed in the last couple of weeks, I’d started to feel like I was spiraling. Yes, Tomas was there to catch me, and I knew he would, but he wouldn’t always be there to do that. He had a life outside of protecting me from Ryan. God, how long before he got tired of the emotional roller coaster I lived on?
I came with a whole heap of baggage, more than anyone should be expected to deal with. How long before he got sick of giving and giving and getting nothing back in return? He must think I’m the most selfish woman in the world. He’d made me come nearly every night, until I couldn’t think straight. I hadn’t touched him, not like that. I could admit some of that was my not wanting to disappoint him.
Tomas exuded something darkly erotic. He was walking, talking sex on a stick, and honestly, it was intimidating. I trusted him with my life. I owed him so much, and I didn’t know how to communicate that to him.
I glanced up and he was in the same place I’d left him. Our table. His eyes were on me, following me as I made my way toward him. My belly swirled. That’s all it took, one look from him and I was wet for him. Only him.
We’d also made no promises to each other. He hadn’t contradicted me when I mentioned going back to my old life when this was over, and that was okay—it was. I never expected anything from him when I went to him for help, and he’d given me more than I could have dreamed. He’d shown me the man under the ink and suits and the hard exterior, and I felt privileged to have been given that.
He’d made me fall head over heels in love with him.
But I didn’t expect promises or a commitment from him. I didn’t expect this to last.
And that was okay.
It didn’t mean I didn’t want it to, though. But I didn’t know how to show him what he meant to me. How to let him know how much I appreciated him and all he’d done for me. How much I wanted him.
An idea came to me, an idea that had butterflies taking flight in my belly. But it excited me as well. I changed course and found Deb, stopping her when she was about to walk out the back. She grinned when I asked her what I wanted and rushed to do what I asked.
I lingered until the song playing was drawing to an end. As I headed back across the bar, I kept my eyes locked on Tomas. No, I didn’t know how to tell him how I felt, but I wanted him to know, whatever the outcome. He thought I was strong and I wanted to be for him and for me.
This was the first step.
I was right there in front of him when the song I’d chosen started, when a woman’s voice echoed around the room.
My hands went to his shoulders and I stepped in between his spread thighs and started moving.
Tomas looked up at me and his nostrils flared, his dark eyes so full of heat I felt like he’d set me alight. For once I didn’t try and avoid that intense stare. I let him see the truth. I hid nothing while the song throbbed through me. While the woman’s voice continued to echo around the room, singing about how she felt, telling him how he made her feel.
Asking him not to let her go.
Tomas’s chest was rising and falling with his harsh breaths as I climbed into his lap. His hands went to my waist, holding me as I dropped my head back. His eyes locked on me as I lifted it back up and moved my body to the music, hoping he’d understand, that he’d hear what she was saying, that he’d know what I was trying to tell him.
The intensity he was throwing off made it hard to keep looking at him, but I did. I refused to look away. I wasn’t broken anymore, and I needed him to see it for himself. It was too soon for me to say what this song blatantly said, but I wanted him to know. I needed him to know.
As the song came to an end, Tomas’s fingers sunk into my hair and he pulled me in for a kiss that made my toes curl and my heart race. I was hot and needy, and God, I wanted him.
His mouth tore from mine, hands either side of my face. “You chose that song for me, didn’t you, Angel?”
“Yes.”
His grip tightened on my waist, fingers flexing, and that intensity sharpened, scorching me alive. “Let’s get out of here.”
I nodded and stood on shaky legs. Tomas stood as well, taking my hand.
Willa appeared out of nowhere and pulled me in to a hug. “You were on fire tonight,” she said, smiling up at me.
I stared back at her in shock. I had no idea how I’d missed her. She’d brightened the pink in her hair and it near glowed under the lights. “You’re here?”
She tilted her head toward Tomas. “He thought I might like to come see you.” She smiled wider. “And he was right.”
“Tomas called you?” I was stunned.
“He called Jude and got him to pass it on.”
I glanced around the room, looking for her man.
“Jude’s coming by later. I’m here with the girls.” She pointed to a table in the corner.
Several women I’d met through Willa sat there, and they waved when they saw me looking. All were girlfriends or wives of the guys who worked at The King Agency, like Willa, except Ruby. She and her fiancé were both agents.
I turned back to Willa and she chuckled at the surprise on my face.
“You’ve been through a lot lately,” she said, expression softening. “If anyone knows what that’s like, it’s us, which also means we know that a night with the girls is exactly what you need.”
I opened my mouth…
“And no arguments.”
I’d heard bits and pieces from her over the last few months. All the woman in that booth had been through some seriously scary stuff and had come out the other side. They were good women, all of them. What would it be like to have friends like that? I’d only just let Willa in after years of having no one. Friends were something else Ryan was threatened by. I realized I wanted to find out.
“We thought we’d make a night of it. You in?” Willa said and gave my arm a squeeze.
I glanced at Tomas, and he smiled. I didn’t miss that it was more than a little strained, but he released my hand. “Have a good night, Angel.”
“No, no…noooo,” Sunny said. “I’m not telling you, but okay, I will tell you this.” The beautiful blonde pointed to her husband, Zeke, who was sitting across the room with some of the other guys as well as Tomas, which I had to say was a sight to see. I’d never seen so many muscles and so much beautiful ink in one place. “Our first night together was the first night we met.” She put her finger to her lips. “Shhhh, don’t tell anyone. I don’t want Hope to find out her mom propositioned her dad in a bar the first time they met.”
We all burst out laughing.
Ruby put a tray of shots on the table in front of us, plonked down in the seat beside me, and pushed her black-rimmed glasses higher with a finger. “Well, Neco was the opposite. My man held out for like…ever. Anyway, all I’m gonna say is we’ve more than made up for it.” She snickered and tucked her hair behind her ear. The ever-present dyed stripe of color down the side of her heart-shaped face was a vibrant red today and it matched her lipstick perfectly.
She motioned to the tray and we all grabbed a shot glass and downed them together. I was tipsy—okay, a little more than tipsy. But I was having the best time I’d had in…well, I couldn’t remember having a better time.
Willa leaned in and glanced over her shoulder at the men’s table. “I love how big Jude is. The things that man can do in the bedroom.”
Fay, Willa’s neighbor and Raul’s partner, slapped her hand on the table. “Told you!” she cried. Fay was gorgeous, in her early sixties, and had this whole rocker chick, hippie vibe going on that she wore insanely well. “I told Willa a man that size could put her in some freaky good positions.”
“Fay!” Willa said, cackling.
We all laughed again so hard several tables of people were looking at us. “What about Tomas?” Lulu asked, her head tilted to the side, gray eyes full of interest. “Honestly, no offense, but the guy scared the shit out of me when I first met him.”
Lulu had the most gorgeous auburn hair I’d ever seen, the kind of red I wished I’d had when I was a kid. Her husband, Hunter, had known Tomas since they were kids, I found out tonight. They’d had some ups and downs—more downs by the sounds of it—but Willa told me something had changed, that Jude thought Tomas had changed lately.
I shook my head, I think with a little more vigor than was necessary, but I wanted to get my point across. “He’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.”
Several eyes widened in disbelief.
“Well, sweet definitely isn’t a word I would have associated with Tomas Mendoza,” Lulu said, a grin spreading across her face.
“He’s been so great. He’s kind and caring and…and sexy as hell…and…” I wanted to share like the others had. I wanted to be part of this group of women so badly I actually ached. I realized they’d all leaned in, waiting for what I was about to say. I leaned in as well. “He kisses like he’s making love to your mouth, and I swear, I swear if he kissed me long enough, I’d…”
“You’d what?” a low, rough-edged voice said against my ear.
Everyone jumped back, looking guilty.
Tomas stood there along with Zeke, Hunter, Neco, and Raul, and they were smirking.
“Nothing!” I said, shooting to my feet. Yep, too fast. I swayed a little, the room tilting with me. Tomas caught me around the waist, and his smirk turned into a grin.
“What are you grinning at?” I said.
“You drunk, Steph?” he said against my ear.
I shook my head, again with too much vigor, and, yep, swayed again. “Nope,” I said. “Just a little tipsy is all.”
“Uh-huh.” He kissed my temple, one of his hands sliding up my back and under my hair to loosely hold onto the back of my neck. It was possessive, but not in a bad way. I shivered, the alcohol having another effect on me besides all the swaying.
I looked up at him, and when his eyes met mine, a deep throb started up between my thighs. “I think I want to go home now.” My hand was on his chest and I slid it down to rest over his stomach. I could feel the ridges of his abs underneath and I shivered again. “If you’re ready.”
“Angel, you want to go home, I’ll take you home.”
I nodded and he took my hand. I turned to the table to say goodbye and the women there were all watching us. “I had a great night,” I said. The alcohol made me feel confident and I added, “I’d love to do this again sometime.”
Willa jumped to her feet and pulled me into a tight hug. “Absolutely.”
This was parroted by the others before Tomas started for the door. I waved at them all the way through the club until we hit the street. There was a car waiting outside for us and we climbed in. Tomas told his driver to take us home and sat back, pulling me in close to his side.
I rested my head on his shoulder. “Do you think they liked me?”
His arm was around my shoulders and he kissed the top of my head. “Of course. What’s not to like?”
I shrugged. “My last real friend before Willa was Sally Tanner. You remember Sally?”
He stilled. “Yeah, you went to school with her?”
I wriggled closer and breathed him in. “Yep. God, you smell good.”
He made a rough sound. “When was the last time you saw Sally?”
I waved a hand. “I don’t know, um, I think right after my wedding. So, yeah, a long time ago. I’m rusty with the whole friend thing…”
One minute I was on the seat, the next I was in Tomas’s lap, and he was cupping my jaw and looking into my eyes. “There’s no way they won’t like you. And anyone who doesn’t is a fucking idiot. I happen to know for a fact that none of those women are fucking idiots, so you have nothing to worry about.”
I giggled, grinning at him. “Wise words, as always.”
“No shit,” he said, grinning as well.
I stared into his eyes. They were so dark, intensely dark. I took in all that was Tomas Mendoza. The strong nose and jaw, that sensual mouth. My hand slid from his shoulder to where his shirt opened at his throat, where those tattoos snaked up the side of his neck, and I traced one of the swirls with my finger.
“You’re hot, like insanely sexy,” I said, the alcohol loosening my tongue, and right then I didn’t care.
“Glad you think so,” he said, his voice getting deliciously gruff.
“Oh yeah,” I said, following the ink on his neck lower to where it dipped below his collar. His skin was warm and smooth. “You must’ve been with a lot, like loads of women.” I looked up from what my finger was doing. “Have you been with loads of women?”
He said nothing, just stared back at me. Okay, I’d take that as a yes.
“Two at once?”
He still said nothing. Damn.
“A whole cheerleading squad?”
His fingers flexed, digging into my flesh, and he made a choking sound. “No, I can honestly say I’ve never fucked an entire cheerleading squad.”
“At least that’s something,” I muttered, only realizing I said it out loud and not in my head when he frowned down at me.
“Where’s this coming from?”
The thought of Tomas with another woman, let alone two at once, was not a good one. I didn’t want it in my head. “Nothing. Nowhere.” I tried to wriggle off his lap, but he held me there.
“Stephanie,” he said. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’d prefer not to,” I said.
“Tough shit. Start talking.”
A laugh bubbled up my throat out of nowhere. “When you get pissy you sound like my Tomas, the boy who worked for my dad and ate my muffins.”
“I wanted to eat a fuck of a lot more than your muffins,” he said.
The laugh escaped and I went with it. When my chuckles dried up, I rested my head on his chest and sighed. “I’ve only ever been with one man. Just one. And he was a sadistic fucking asshole. I guess I’m worried I’ll pale in comparison.”
He did his going-still thing again. “What?” he whispered.
I decided to push on. Might as well get it all out. At least then he wouldn’t think I was some selfish taking taker who just took all the time. “Because I’ve only been with Ryan, I don’t know what will happen when I’m with someone else. I don’t know how I’ll react in the moment, but most of all, I’m worried I’ll disappoint you.”
He said nothing, was still holding himself rigid.
“I’m not worth all the drama, Tomas. I’m not.” There, I’d said it, so he didn’t have to feel guilty when he got tired of all the crap that I brought with me. “Even if this is just casual…especially because this is casual,” I said.