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Lawson
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THAT EMBRACE FROM HOLLY felt like much more than just a hug. It felt so good to have her in my arms. Too good. I could have stood there with her arms around my neck and her body pressed against mine for the rest of the night, but when she took a step back, I knew I needed to do something to distract myself. I had to get my mind back on the mission at hand: decorating the tree.
“What do you say to some Christmas music around here?” I asked, walking away from her and heading over to where I left my phone sitting. “It will help get us the energy going.”
Holly nodded, swallowing a little. I scrolled through my phone and found a Christmas music playlist. I turned the volume up as loud as I could and set the phone on the table.
“I have a speaker,” Holly said. “Hold on.”
She left the room, and I looked over the ornaments Holly had set out. Some of them already had hooks in them, and others needed them. I searched around for more hooks and found a package in one of the boxes. When she came back a few moments later, I was carefully looping the hooks into the ornaments. She offered the speaker out to me, and I connected it to my phone.
The music blasted out of the phone, making Holly gasp, and I cringed. Turning it down as quickly as I could, I gave her an apologetic look.
“That was a bit more festive than even I needed,” I said. Holly nodded. I changed the song and adjusted the volume until it was more pleasant, then stepped back to look over the tree. “Alright. The first thing we need is the lights. I’ll go get the ones left over from the outside.”
I brought the strands of lights into the room and held them both up, looking at Holly for an opinion. She stared back at me, seeming unsure of what I was asking.
“What?” she finally asked.
“Which do you want for the tree? White or multicolored?” I asked.
She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, then stopped and stared at them for a few more seconds. “I really have no idea.”
“I think we should go with the multicolored,” I said. “They are more fun. The white ones are really pretty and would be a great choice if you were going for a more elegant Christmas, but since you have families here, I would go with the fun option. It looks more playful and would go with all the different kinds of decorations we have.” Her eyes lifted to me, and I felt my chest tighten a little. “The decorations you have for the tree.”
Holly nodded, glancing away. I wanted to think she was feeling the same thing I was. I thought I saw it in her eyes and felt it in the way she touched me. But I couldn’t be sure. I’d been in this place before. I wanted to tell her exactly how I felt and give her the chance to tell me if she was feeling the same thing. It wasn’t exactly the same as it was when we were in high school.
I wasn’t the same outsider as I was then. My clothes weren’t two sizes too big because I was waiting for my growth spurt and kept telling myself I was going to start working out and all the bulk was going to need space. I actually made eye contact with everybody who spoke to me. I didn’t have the same fairly impressive tendency to drop things I was carrying or trip over things that didn’t weren’t there.
It should have given me more confidence. I should have been able to look at Holly and tell her exactly how I felt about her, how I’d always felt about her, and ask if she felt the same. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not right now.
Putting down the white lights, I went to work wrapping the multicolored strands around the tree. I hummed along to the music as I made sure the strand was nestled properly into the branches and evenly distributed down the entire length. It was such a large tree it took two strands, but that would make the entire thing glow bright.
When the lights were finished, I looked over at Holly. She was still in the same place I left her, not looking like the music was giving her the same kind of fun holiday feelings I hoped for.
“Not a fan of orchestral Christmas music?” I asked.
“I’m not really a fan of Christmas music in general,” she said. “It goes with the whole not liking Christmas situation.”
“Really? I know you’re not a lover of the holidays, but I figured everybody likes Christmas music. It’s so much fun.”
Holly shook her head. “Nope.”
“None of it?” I asked.
“I don’t hate Frosty. I mean, it’s a little bit sad with him melting and all, but I’ll sing it without cringing.”
“How magnanimous of you,” I said. “Of course, you picked a song that isn’t actually about Christmas.”
Holly’s face scrunched up, and she tilted her head to the side in confusion. “What do you mean it’s not about Christmas? They made him out of Christmas snow, and he literally says he’ll be back on Christmas.”
“Well, that right there tells you it isn’t Christmas when the song is happening. If he’s going to be back then, it can’t be then. So, there’s that. But the mention of Christmas wasn’t even in the original story. It said he’d be back again ‘someday,’ and a lot of storybooks still use that wording,” I said.
She stared at me for a few seconds. “Were you going for the holiday season slice of pie?” Now it was my turn to stare at her. She shook her head. “Trivial Pursuit. Gran was big into board games. Doesn’t matter.”
I laughed. “Now I’m starting to get to know you.” I gestured for her to get up. “Come on. Let’s get some ornaments on this tree.”
Holly got up and selected an ornament. We started on opposite sides of the tree hanging the ornaments, and after a little while, I noticed she was singing along with the music. I glanced around the tree and grinned at her. She caught me looking, and I noticed a flush of color come to her cheeks like she was embarrassed to get caught. It only made her more adorable.
She shrugged. “This song isn’t so bad.”
I reached my hand out to her. She looked at it, then back at me and shook her head. “Come on. Dance with me.”
She hesitated for another second, then finally put her hand in mine. “Alright.”
I smiled and brought her around the side of the tree to me. There was space between us as we were dancing, but that didn’t take away the electric quality of my hand on her waist and hers on my shoulder. I overdid my movements, eventually succeeding in making her laugh as she danced along.
As the song ended, I gave her a twirl back over to the tree, and we went back to decorating.
“Tell me about Christmas when you were younger,” she said. “You know about my decorating traditions. So, what did your family do?”
I told her all about my family’s tradition of buying new ornaments every year, one for each of us that represented something special from that year. They also bought one to set aside for me for when I had a family of my own. I didn’t tell Holly that I left those in their box in the storage unit where my mother put them. They were meant for when I have a wife and maybe children to enjoy the tradition with. I didn’t know if that would ever happen for me, but I wanted to honor that for my parents.
As I talked more about how we decorated and my favorite snacks my mother made for us after we were finished, Holly and I moved closer and closer to each other around the sides of the tree. Suddenly, I turned and was just inches from her. Our faces were close, our noses nearly touching.
“It’s getting late,” she said softly. “I should probably get to bed.”
I’ve never wanted something as much as I wanted to kiss her in that moment. My mouth parted slightly, and I noticed Holly touch the tip of her tongue to her bottom lip before rolling it in and biting down on it slightly. She drew in a breath as I leaned toward her.
“It’s huge!”
The voice from the doorway broke the moment. Both Holly and I turned to look and saw Vint standing there gripping a cup of milk and staring at the tree. Holly looked down, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. I walked around her and gave the little boy a big grin.
“You like it?” I asked.
“It’s amazing!” he gushed.
“Just think how great it’s going to look when it’s all finished and we do the big reveal with the lights,” I said.
He gasped. “Wow.”
“I know. We’re going to do that tomorrow, okay? So make sure you’re ready to come and see it.”
“And add my ornament?” he asked.
That was something Holly and I had forgotten about during our mission, but it was easily fixed.
“Absolutely,” I said, making a mental note to pick up some simple ornaments and permanent markers the next morning. “It’s going to be a lot of fun.”
“Are we going to listen to Christmas music?”
“Of course,” I said.
“Will there be Christmas cookies?” he asked.
I looked over my shoulder and met eyes with Holly.
