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Lawson
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I HEADED OUT OF THE bed-and-breakfast but stopped before I got to the door and looked down at the plate of cookies in my hand. It was so nice of Holly to think about doing that for my mother. It was a small gesture, but coming from Holly, it seemed much more significant. Not that she was an unkind person or I really believed she never thought about anybody else. That definitely wasn’t the case. It was more that sending Christmas cookies for a visit seemed very holidayish, and I didn’t expect that from her.
She was back in the laundry room getting the linens done for the guests, and I knew she was busy. She had a lot to do to keep the bed-and-breakfast running. But I went back in there anyway. I watched her take a sheet out of the dryer and shake it to release the wrinkles and get it straight to be folded. She folded it neatly and tossed it to the corner of the folding table she had set up at the back of the room. When she looked up and noticed me standing there, she jumped slightly.
“Hey,” she said. “I thought you left. Did you forget something?”
“Yeah,” I said, taking a couple of steps closer to her. “To invite you.”
She gave me a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”
“Would you want to come with me? You can meet my mom and her friends and see the facility. I know she’d really like to meet you. I’ve talked about you.”
“You have?” she asked.
I didn’t admit that a lot of that talking happened when I was in high school and rambled on about her incessantly. Half the time I didn’t even think my mother was paying attention. She’d hear me say the name “Holly” and just check out because she knew there wasn’t a lot of contribution she was going to be able to make to the conversation.
I didn’t confide in my mother about the way I felt about Holly then. It felt weird talking to her about something like that, especially considering it wasn’t like I was prepping her to meet her before a date or anything. But I did talk to my father some without specifying who I was talking about. I just gave him a vague description and told him what was going on. Or, more accurately, what wasn’t going on.
He was the one to reassure me that everyone had that unrequited crush in their lives. The person who they couldn’t get enough of, even if it hurt when they were near them, and who they would always think about in fond terms.
Of course, he then told me that his was my mother, so I wasn’t positive he fully grasped the idea of unrequited love.
But now my mind was changing. Maybe there was the chance for something more.
And maybe this was the beginning.
“She was excited to hear you were back in town and about the bed-and-breakfast,” I told her.
“Why would she be excited to hear I was back in town? We’ve never met,” Holly said, going back to the dryer for another sheet.
“Your family was known around Snowflake Hollow,” I said. “Your parents and mine went to school together, remember?”
She nodded. “That’s true.” She thought about the invitation for a second. “You’re sure it wouldn’t be awkward? Like she would expect to just see you there, and instead you show up with me?”
“I don’t think that’s something you need to worry about. She, and everybody else there, love having visitors. They’ll be thrilled. And I know I would love to have you there, too.”
She looked down at the laundry in front of her, seeming hesitant, but finally looked up at me and nodded.
“Alright. I’d like that,” she said.
I grinned. “Great. I actually just realized there are a few things I forgot to grab, so let me get those, and we’ll be on our way.”
I handed her the cookies and rushed back to my room. While Holly and I were shopping for the cookie ingredients, I’d picked up some things I thought Mom could use, including some extra Christmas decorations. She didn’t have the space in her little apartment for a full-size Christmas tree or some of the more elaborate decorations that had been in our house while I was growing up. But that didn’t mean she had to go without some festive touches around her when she wasn’t in the main part of the facility.
Carrying the bags, I went back downstairs and found Holly waiting at the door. As we piled into the car and headed across town, I felt an extra lift in my mood and a bit of Christmas magic flowing through me.
I called my mother when we got into the parking lot and let her know I was there. She liked to meet me outside and escort me to her apartment rather than having me come in and go to her. She was already smiling when she got to the door, but her face lit up when she saw Holly.
“What a surprise!” she said. She gathered me in a tight hug. “I didn’t think I was going to get to see you today.”
“I told you I was planning on coming by. I’m sorry it’s late, I was helping Holly with some things around the bed-and-breakfast. Oh, yeah. Mom, this is Holly. Holly, this is my mother.”
Holly smiled at Mom and reached out for her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Lane.”
Just as I expected her to, Mom gathered her into a tight embrace instead, rocking her back and forth like she was reuniting with a loved one she hadn’t seen in years.
“Gloria,” she said. “Call me Gloria. It’s wonderful to have you here. Thank you for coming.”
“I’m really glad to be here,” she said.
“Come on,” Mom said, ushering us toward the door. “Let’s get inside. It’s freezing out here.”
She brought us in and guided us to the elevator that brought us to her apartment. There were little wreaths hanging on many of the doors going down the hallway and glittering paper menorahs on others. The entire place smelled like mint and pine, and I couldn’t help but wonder if they were piping the smell in from somewhere.
Mom let us into her apartment, and Holly looked around with widened eyes.
“This is beautiful,” she said.
Mom nodded. “Isn’t it? I love it here. It has everything I need without all the extra space of the house and without having to handle any upkeep or anything. I have so many neighbors, and we all get together during the day and in the evenings. Sometimes we’re just spending time together in the common area, playing games or watching TV and things, but there are also lots of different clubs and activities and events and field trips just about every day. I’m never bored, that’s for sure. I definitely miss having Lawson around town, but I’m better than I have been in a long time.”
I went up to her and hugged her with one arm, kissing her on the head. I was so glad to hear her say that and really believe she was being genuine when she said it. The guilt I’d been going through since I found out she’d decided to move here had been dragging me down. I felt horrible knowing she was going through so many health problems, especially so soon after moving back to the town she loved.
Coming back here was supposed to be a chance for her to return to where she was happiest and most comfortable, and surrounded by the memories that meant so much to her. It was why she’d always held on to the family home. She never wanted to sell it because there was a part of her that knew she was going to be back here one day.
But now it was gone. She didn’t tell me she’d made the decision because it was hers to make, but it still felt wrong. I couldn’t help but feel like I was a failure and a bad son, like I had abandoned her by going off and finding my own life outside of Snowflake Hollow.
Now I saw this was a great thing for her. The first time I visited, we had a long talk about everything, and she reassured me this was what she wanted. She felt like she needed to move forward and find her own life here without feeling like she was just living her old life without my father. He was still gone, and she missed him desperately, but it wasn’t the same as it was when she was living in the house.
That was the house they spent their entire marriage in. It held all the memories of every day they spent together, from the mundane weekdays to holidays to the day they brought me home from the hospital. It also held the memories of his death and what it was like for her to try to learn to move on from that. She learned she couldn’t ever feel like there was still life to live when she was there. Every day she was waiting to hear his voice or to see him coming around a corner.
Letting go of the house was a way of releasing my father and herself. She knew deep in her heart she would see him again. But until then, she had a life to live. And she was definitely doing that here.
“We brought some cookies for you,” Holly said, offering them out to my mother.
“These look delicious. Thank you,” Mom said, setting them down on the table and immediately peeling the plastic away to sample one.
“I brought some decorations to put up,” I said. “And I thought if you needed anything done around here, I could take care of them while you visit with Holly.”
My mother grinned and nodded, gesturing for Holly to join her on the couch. She gave me a list of things she’d like done around the apartment and while they started chatting, I went to work changing lightbulbs and getting the decorations in place.
