Holly
––––––––
THERE WERE A FEW MOMENTS while I was sitting there in Gloria’s apartment when I found myself just watching Lawson. The way he interacted with his mother was so sweet and genuine. He wasn’t pandering toward her and never acted like anything she needed him to do was a burden. There was no rush in the way he talked to her or how he moved around her space looking for ways he could help her or improve her surroundings. He really did just want to be there with her and do things for her.
It warmed my heart to see the two of them together. Not remembering my own mother was something that hung over me throughout my life. I would never say it was a trauma or that it had scarred me and irreparably damaged me. My grandmother was an absolutely amazing woman and raised me with all the love and attention as if I were her child.
My relationship with her was precious. Sometimes I didn’t always appreciate her the way she deserved to be appreciated, but that seemed to line up with the way most kids felt about their parents. Now that I was an adult especially, I didn’t lose sight of just how fortunate I was to have her. Not just because it kept me from being funneled into the foster system after my parents died, but because she was the woman she was and we’d had the life we had together.
Being there with Lawson’s mother brought up so many emotions, ones I had been pushing aside so I could get through. I started to miss my grandmother terribly, but the ache in my heart was accompanied by a happy, peaceful feeling that came from all the memories coming through me.
It was a strange position to be in to wish she was there with me so much that she could help me with the challenges of running the bed-and-breakfast and support me when I was having a bad day. If she was still there, I wouldn’t have anything to do with the B and B. I might not have even made it back to Snowflake Hollow.
My life still would have gotten derailed, and I would still probably be looking for the fresh start I thought I would find here. But the thoughts about having that fresh start here didn’t begin until I was already back and facing the aftermath of my grandmother’s death. If she hadn’t died, I would likely have moved on somewhere else. I would have searched for another place to settle down and try to find myself.
It sounded a bit cliche as it went through my mind, but I was starting to feel like this was where I was meant to come back all along. Maybe I didn’t quite fit in, and maybe I still very much needed the Christmas spirit boot camp Lawson was putting me through, but I felt a tug to be here. To be home.
“You know, I have something to show you,” Gloria said as Lawson embarked on a project of hanging a stack of framed pictures she’d taken down from one room so they could be put up in another. “I’ll be right back.”
She got up and made her way toward the back of the apartment, patting Lawson affectionately on his back as she passed. He looked over at me.
“She really likes you,” he said.
I felt like Gloria was the type of woman who was probably kind and welcoming to everyone, but I was going to take that and be happy about it. I realized I really wanted her to like me. Partly because she was just such a genuine and friendly woman, and it was always good to have one of those types of people in your life. And partly because she was Lawson’s mother. She’d raised a wonderful son, and as my feelings for him grew stronger, I felt the need to be closer to him in every way I could.
When she came back, Gloria was holding another photograph. Only this one wasn’t framed, and a quick glance at it told me it was from many years ago. This wasn’t a snap printed from being taken on a cell phone camera. It was a little bit grainy, and the colors weren’t pure and sharp, but that only made it more appealing. It looked more real in a way I hadn’t ever really contemplated before.
I took the picture from her hand and examined it. For a moment, I didn’t know what I was looking at. There were several smiling people in front of a wall, each of them holding paintbrushes or rollers. Just when I was about to ask her why she was showing it to me, one of the faces popped out at me.
“That’s Gran,” I said.
Gloria nodded. “Yep. This was a few years before you and Lawson were born. That’s me.” She pointed at the image, indicating one of the young people sitting on the concrete in front of the wall. “And that is Lawson’s father. We were still engaged.”
“I want to see,” Lawson said, coming over and leaning down beside me to look at the picture. He let out a short burst of laughter. “Look at you guys. I’ve never seen this picture. Who is everybody else?”
“Well,” Gloria said, pointing to some of the other people in the picture. “These were a couple of our college friends. Sam joined the military, and they ended up overseas. They liked it, so they stayed even after he retired. This is your father’s cousin—I don’t know if you ever even met him. These are a couple of girls who still live around the Hollow. Missie Alexander and Velma Traylor.”
“Oh,” Lawson said. “The hairdresser.”
Gloria nodded. “Yep. Velma did my hair for my wedding.” She pointed to the two people standing in the very back of the group, smiling as they held paintbrushes up above their heads, crossed over each other like swords. “And these...”
It only took a couple of seconds of looking at them for something to click inside me. The picture wasn’t very clear, and the group was far away, making it hard to really see the features, but I knew those smiles. And I was sure if it was clearer, I would be able to see that the man’s eyes were the same ones that stared back at me from the bathroom mirror every morning.
“My parents,” I said softly.
Gloria nodded again. “Yes. We did a lot of community service projects around Snowflake Hollow when we were that age.”
“I didn’t know you knew my parents,” I said.
“Oh, yes. We were good friends.”
Lawson went back to working on the pictures while I sat with Gloria for a while longer, talking to her about my family. She shared memories with me, and I remembered hearing similar stories from my grandmother. It was amazing to find the connection, and I felt closer to my parents than I had in a long time. It was one thing having Gran tell me about them and show me pictures and videos, but it was something different to find a friend of theirs who knew them from a different angle.
When Lawson was done with everything he was helping her with, Gloria glanced at the time and suggested we go down to the common area together. A lot of the residents would be getting together for the late afternoon, and she’d love to introduce us. Lawson and I happily agreed.
As soon as we walked into the common room, the residents gathered there greeted Gloria cheerfully. They were obviously a tight-knit group, and even though she was considerably younger than many of the residents, she seemed to genuinely care about them. These were more than just people who lived in the same facility as her. They were her friends and chosen family.
We walked around the room, and she introduced us to them, giving us a little bit of information about each of them. We met some older residents who proudly wore hats or jackets reminding everyone around them they were veterans. We met younger residents around Gloria’s age who had also entered the facility because of health problems. There was a wide variety of people from different backgrounds, with some being lifetime residents of Snowflake Hollow and some having moved there when they were young adults.
The room was alive with the sound of people watching movies, playing games, doing paper crafts, debating any and all kinds of topics, and having lively conversations. We enjoyed spending time with them, but the longer we were there, the more I learned of how many of them had their lives entirely centered around the facility. They didn’t have any family or friends outside the facility, and there was an underlying hint of loneliness around them. By the time we were saying good night, I was trying to come up with ways I could do something for all of them.
As we walked out of the facility, I felt Lawson take hold of my arm and give me a tug. I didn’t know what he was doing until I was in his arms and he was looking up. I glanced up and saw a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the portico. He smiled at me, and I lifted my face to kiss him. It was my perfect Christmas kiss.
“Thank you for coming with me today,” he said. “They really liked meeting you.”
“They were great,” I said. “And it was so good seeing you with your mother. You are a good man, Lawson.” I kissed him again.
“Thank you. he said. “And I will happily take those kisses any time.”
I smiled and gave him another.