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David set his quill down and stood. Calidrad looked up from the tome he'd been lecturing from and smiled. "It is not yet midnight in Faiden, young David. Last month you did not wish to go, today the moment the sun sets on the high kingdom you cast anxious eyes to me." Calidrad sighed and shook his head. "I will not require an explanation about your need to see the full moon on Midia, but I would like one when you return. Last full moon, you returned inconsolable and lost weeks of study."
David bowed deeply. "You are very astute," he commented honestly. "It would be my honor to share my story with you."
"Go." Calidrad was already turning his attention to a stack of diagrams on the edge of his desk when David bowed again.
"Thank you, Master."
David was at the ruins immediately after sundown, pacing and praying that Ferremor would come. Alex was gone, and though David's heart was shattered, he had come to realize how much Ferremor must have suffered the past three years. Alex had been Ferremor's best friend for ten years, and now he was all alone. Ferremor would have died before hurting Alex; he would have burned in her place in an instant. How could David have said those terrible things to his dearest friend? It made him sick, remembering Ferremor's tears.
David forced himself to sit and wait. For three years, Ferremor had gone to the ruins on the full moon, vigilantly awaiting David's return. Abandoned by David and burdened with the loss of Alex, Ferremor had not given up on him. He'd always been noble, loyal, and forgiving, and now David would test that forgiveness once more.
* * *
"Aren't you going to leave?" Tessa asked, surprised to find Ferremor wandering the garden so close to midnight. "It is the full moon," she observed. "Why aren't you going to meet with your friend, David?" She had offered him comfort in the days since David's appearance at the ruins, and Ferremor had told her every detail of the conflicts between himself and his dear friend. He had cried, and she had held him, offering what comfort she could. David's words had broken Ferremor's heart, and there was little Tessa could do but be strong for him.
Ferremor sighed and looked away from her. His mournful expression tore at Tessa's heart, and she immediately went to him. She slipped her hands under his cloak and rested her palms on his bare chest. The cold of his skin sent a shiver down her spine, and she looked up into his shadowed blue eyes. "David was devastated, Ferremor." She shook her head and leaned toward him, offering her warmth. He reached up to caress the fabric covering her arms and back, but his gaze remained stricken. "He said those words out of grief. You have had years to come to terms with her death; he had mere minutes," she insisted. "You should go and wait for him."
Ferremor shook his head. "I thought that it would be good to see him again," he whispered.
"Give him time and patience, Ferremor, my love." She gave him a small smile, eager to bring him some hope. "He will return to you when he realizes what he's lost in you."
Ferremor placed his hands over hers, wrapping his fingers around her palms. "No, that's not what I meant." He looked up at the moon, so near its apex. "It hurt, seeing him. He and Alex, they . . ." He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "I see him, and I hear their constant playful banter. I can't . . ."
Tessa leaned away and slapped him, smartly.
He stepped back, surprised, and his hand cupped the sting in his cheek. "What-?"
"That was for Alex, who is not here to slap you herself," Tessa declared, lifting her chin stubbornly. "You will not use her as an excuse to just throw away your friendship with David." Tessa leaned toward him again and took his hands in hers. "I may not have met either one, but I know neither would want that. Be strong, my love. You will get through this and be stronger for it." He watched her for a moment with wonderment, and she pushed him lightly away from her. "Now, go, before he thinks you're not coming and disappears from your life forever."
Ferremor rubbed his cheek and smiled at Tessa. "You're right." He shook his head, hope blossoming in his eyes once more. "I don't know if he will be there, but I will go and wait, like before." He leaned down to kiss her lightly on the lips. "Thank you."
* * *
Hours passed, and David became more and more anxious that he had driven away his one true friend. What would he do if Ferremor was gone, truly gone? When David was at the school and when he was apprenticing in the Shadow Court, he'd always felt he had a place to return to. In a way, it had made his absence easier, knowing he could always come back, that Ferremor and Alex would always welcome him. With that security gone, every day was full of fear and loneliness.
Herb Worker Calidrad had noticed and commented on the significant change in David's attention to his work. He had insisted that David devote several days to himself to cope with his grief. Though it hadn't been a punishment, David had been angry. He'd lost his temper with Calidrad and was even short with King Retsorn.
After several days of the herb worker refusing to see him, David had finally given in and taken a leave of absence. He'd returned to the charred remains of the orphanage and cried, yelled, and thrown rubble for hours until his grief and energy was mostly spent. Afterwards, he'd roamed the burned out shell of the chapel, surprised to find the courtyard of partial statues unharmed by the fire. There, he'd discovered a new stone block, on which was carved forty-seven names. The last name was Alexandra Farmer.
It had hurt, seeing her name on the mass headstone under the list of children he'd known and helped care for. It had struck him deep. He'd fallen to his knees, staring at her name for a very long time. Her headstone had been a horrible finality, and it truly sunk in that she was gone. Forever gone.
David had returned night after night to stare at her name and wish it were a terrible dream. Even after he returned to his studies, he spent part of every night at the headstone. A few nights before the full moon, a quiet and calm acceptance had passed over him when he'd returned to the headstone. He'd laughed and talked to her as if she were sitting beside him, and somehow it hadn't feel silly that he should talk to the empty air. The following night, he'd brought flowers to lay on the headstone, and he'd talked to her for hours. It felt a little like it had before. It almost seemed as though she were there with him, arguing and mocking him in her brash way.
When he'd woken in his quarters at the Shadow Court and realized the full moon would soon rise over Faiden, he'd known he had to find Ferremor and set things right. Alex wouldn't have wanted their friendship to remain torn forever.
The ghost castle suddenly formed over the ruins, awakened by the full moon's appearance from behind a bank of clouds. David jumped to his feet as the change in the atmosphere told him of Ferremor's arrival. He turned to his friend, humbled by the loyalty Ferremor had shown all of these years. "Ferremor, I'm so sorry," David said immediately, meeting his friend's wary gaze. "I am so sorry I said those things . . . blamed you." He shook his head, praying that Ferremor could somehow forgive him. "Even had I stayed, the two of us would have been here, at the ruins, and we still would have lost her." The words tumbled from his mouth, hours of thoughts spilling out without control. "I left because I had to. You didn't do anything wrong. You've always been a brother to me. I don't want to lose that. Please forgive me."
Ferremor simply hugged David, letting out a slow breath. "You were right to say what you did. It was my negligence—"
"No." David drew away, holding Ferremor at arm's length and looking into his mournful gaze. "No. No more of that talk. We'll make ourselves sick with it. There was no way you could have known it would happen. Ferremor, I know you. I know you would have died to protect any one of those children, to save Alex and Nelan." David swallowed hard and blinked back the tears that came with Alex's memory.
"You loved them all so much," David insisted. "It was terrible of me to blame you . . ." Ferremor's expression suddenly changed, and David stepped back, worried that he had said too much. "What's wrong?"
Ferremor panted and gripped his chest, leaning against the stone rubble as the ghostly castle was just fading away. He looked weak and confused. "I . . . I don't know. I just . . . suddenly . . ." He slumped heavily over the stone, moaning.
David quickly stepped to his side and held his shoulders to catch him if he fell. "Ferremor! What's wrong? You've gone pale."
"Can't . . . breathe," Ferremor gasped, his eyes wide and afraid.
David tore off Ferremor's cloak and guided him to a clear spot. Ferremor fell to his knees, wheezing, his hands curled into claws against his chest. David pressed a finger to his friend's jugular. "Your pulse is weak and fast! Does your chest feel tight? Does your arm or neck hurt?" Ferremor shook his head, then cried out in pain, leaning forward. "Lay down!" David pulled off his herb bundle and unrolled it, his hands shaking so violently that he had trouble untying the straps.
Ferremor cried out again, slumping forward, his large wings shuddering open above his doubled-over form. Black tendrils started spilling from his mouth, seeping out of his chest and back. For a moment, David was so shocked and horrified that he froze. Ferremor's wretched sobs snapped the herb worker out of his stupor, and he groped at the black wisps. David yelped in pain. His hands had passed through them without resistance, but their cold had burnt angry welts across his palms and fingers. Ferremor screamed again, the black tendrils erupting from his chest, wrapping around and through his arms, legs, and wings.
"Oh, God!" David reached out again and again, frantically trying to pull them off of Ferremor. These shadows were unlike anything he'd ever seen, darker and colder than even the shadows of Shadow Court. He forced all of his will into commanding them. With tremendous effort, he could grasp them and pull them away from Ferremor. They burned along his arms, leaving red brands on any flesh they touched. Where he pulled them free of Ferremor, he found blistered and cracked skin, blood frozen to the wounds. "No!" David screamed, panicking. He couldn't keep them off! They were inside of Ferremor! What were they doing to his lungs? To his bones and flesh?
Ferremor's cries stopped, his voice ruined. He shuddered, trying desperately to keep breathing. "D-David . . ." he forced out, his voice a hiss of sound. "S-stay back . . ." Somehow, he found the strength to shove the younger shadow master away from him.
David staggered back and fell over a block of stone. "No!" He clawed his way back to his feet, and his eyes met Ferremor's terrified gaze for an instant. The black shadows exploded, enveloping Ferremor completely. David screamed. He ran to the mass of freezing tendrils, clawing at them, feeling them eat at his flesh, but he didn't care. "No! Ferremor! No! Get off of him! Leave him alone!" he shrieked. "Ferremor! Oh, God! Ferremor!" David couldn't hear his friend, couldn't see him. He blindly heaved shadows away from the thick knot of darkness.
Without warning, the black shadows dissipated into the air like mist. Ferremor was gone "No!" David fell to his knees, staring in shock at the dead circle of grass beneath him. "No! Not you, too! Not you!" David collapsed against the frozen earth, begging, weeping. "Please. Please, God no. Not you, too."