We watched Silus's car tear away in an all-fired hurry. I shivered, and tried to wrap myself in my arms. Robert was holding onto me pretty tightly, though, so I couldn't quite move.
He noticed and let me go. I moved away reluctantly. It was frightening to see that look in Silus's eyes, so wild and desperate and lost. Silus could be cold and unpleasant, especially with his snide manners and his ironic attitudes that seemed to imply everyone was beneath him, but I would have preferred that to this desperation and hopelessness. I might not have any sense of the magical, but I could read people, and I knew Silus was hurting.
And poor Gareth! Yes, we'd finally gotten him free — through Robert's campaigning and Jocelyn's behind-the-scenes work — but what good did it do him? He could barely stand on his own, and didn't seem aware of his surroundings at all.
He had a bodyguard in the form of Jonas Rollings, a man I was a little afraid of. He seemed very large and impassive, and sort of dangerous in a quiet way. I was fairly sure Jocelyn had made sure he was someone good and trustworthy, but he was still a stranger, and it was hard for me lately to trust strangers.
While I was very glad Gareth was alive and (hopefully) going to recover, the fact was he'd been a stranger here at first...and he'd put us all in grave danger, especially Robert's father. Even now, that was hard to forgive. If the man had been in less terrible straits, I'd have been glad never to see him again.
But we couldn't leave him like this; it would be inhuman. We'd brought him home to nurse to health. He had redeemed himself, in a way, by saving Mr. Skeffield's life. But it wouldn't have been in danger in the first place if he hadn't been here, or so it seemed to me.
I knew some of the goings-on recently had been a bit over my head. Part of that was because the magical ministry didn't share details very well. Part of it was just me, I suspect. I'm an interior designer, a decorator — very skilled at what I do, but a bit over my head in the whole "there's secrets and magic going on here" issues that seemed to be par for the course with Skeffield Manor.
But, I lived here now — and with a very good reason, too. I looked up at my boyfriend, the big, strong, ex-army Robert Skeffield, and tried to smile. He put a hand on my shoulder, very reassuringly, and gave me a little nod, promising in his own way that everything was going to be all right. "Let's go inside."
We turned away and headed up the path. It was spring, in all its glories, but right now it was only early spring, with so much yet to come.
"Rollings, can you push the chair?" ordered Robert. He had a way of asking things that wasn't really asking; he was used to being in charge and giving orders. Most of the time, that was all right. There were occasions, however, when it would do him good to remember he wasn't in the army anymore, addressing people he outranked.
Since I didn't know if he outranked Jonas or not, and wouldn't have scolded him in public about it even if I was sure, I said nothing. Jonas didn't either, just pushed the chair as bid, and the four of us made our way up to the house.
Mrs. Jenkins came out to meet us, shaking out her apron. It had flour on it, and there was some on her hands and face, and just a bit in her hair. I'd have reached up and brushed some away, if I didn't think that would embarrass her.
"Oh, you've brought him!" Her face was red, probably from the heat of baking. "Poor lad!" Her face held only compassion, none of the conflicted feelings I had about Gareth. "Oh, do bring him inside! We'll get you fed up in no time, love."
She was distressed for him, and I could understand it. But still, I was glad to get away and leave them to it. I felt a big guilty for wanting to leave, but it frightened me. He was so...missing. Just not there.
Silus's fear and rage and pain hung over me like a pall still. I wanted to shake the feelings off like a duck fresh out of water, letting them easily and smoothly roll off my back. Instead they clung to me like fetid mud. I wouldn't have thought anything could get Silus so desperate, or bring the intelligent, cool-eyed Gareth to such lows. Magic could be very frightening sometimes.
There were missing and found objects with mysterious origins and purposes. Two had been found here, one partially by me, but I didn't know quite what it was all about. Although there had been a great deal of bother about all of it, nobody ever really explained it. The going theory they'd shared was that these objects, hidden here by Mr. Skeffield's grandfather, held great power and were probably of faerie origin.
They had been taken away for safekeeping, and/or study. Great minds were going over them, and magic was being used on them or from them, or something. The point was, we small ants weren't worthy of finding out what any of it meant, even supposing our tiny brains could've wrapped themselves around the concepts.
I found it all rather distressing, and sometimes the thought of it gave me shivers at night, when the whole house was dark, but not quite quiet, the way old houses are, creaking and groaning like living things, shifting to try to ease uncomfortable joint pain. Even tucked up in bed safely with Robert, I could get the shudders. If we had found two magical objects here, there might be more — and maybe even more dangerous ones.
I tried not to think about it, to just go about my daily life as if there was no danger. But it was an old house, and Skeffield's grandfather had been a collector, and there had been a number of mysteries...
It was all very romantic and interesting during the day — or at least something I could put out of my mind if I didn't want to think about it — but at night sometimes it preyed on my mind.
I hadn't told Robert about my fears. It all felt very silly during the daytime, and at night, I didn't want to say it and bring bad luck, in that superstitious way you don't want to say something just in case it comes true.
But I had begun to have bad dreams...dreams that frightened me.
As I was changing, there was a knock at the door. "Lou?" asked Robert. "Can I come in?"
He didn't sound like a bossy soldier now. "Of course!" I said.
I'd just finished buttoning up a new shirt, and wondered now if I should've bothered. Perhaps I should quickly undo a few buttons, leaving an artfully, partially bared chest for his inspection. But he hadn't sounded like he wanted to take me to bed, more as if he was worried about me or wanted to talk.
I waited to see what he wanted to do, as he let himself in and quickly and quietly shut the door behind him.
He stopped and looked at me, looking as if he wanted to say something but was checking to be sure I was okay first. "You all right?" he asked quietly.
I nodded. Somehow I didn't want to speak. I wasn't sure my voice would crack, but I was far from sure it wouldn't.
"Come here," he said, and it was affectionate, not an order. I moved into his arms gladly. I'd have gone even if it were an order. I felt raw, like my protections, never very strong, had been peeled away further than normal, and I might cry from emotions other people seemed immune to.
He held me in sturdy arms, and gave my back a brisk, firm rub. I melted into his arms. It felt very good to be there, very safe, as if the world was really okay, and everything would be all right.
How could I explain how shattered I felt, seeing the changes in them? Silus had always been so strong, so sure. Even when he was obnoxious, I preferred that to this desperate version of him, so hurt by his beloved's pain. And Gareth...it was like he wasn't there at all.
"Poor Gareth. Poor Silus. It's so...wrong."
"It'll work out. You'll see. We can take care of Gareth. He'll be better soon here, with proper care. And nothing's ever gotten Silus down for long. He'll be back here bothering us with his smug face in no time at all. I'm sure of it."
I hoped he was right. In the meantime, I was glad to be in his arms, safe in a world that was so dangerous for love.