I opened my eyes and found them all staring up at me with concern on their human faces. I knew expressions, and I knew, more or less, what it would feel like to be in a human body. It was still all very, very strange.
I didn't move at first, searching their gazes, trying to find the one I was supposed to know by heart. Robert. There was a Robert here, wasn't there?
But it was only four people surrounding me, all magicians, and I could've sworn Robert wasn't a magician.
I stirred faintly, my voice very weak. "Robert?"
One of them, a man with ginger whiskers, gave the others a sharp look. "Not just yet," he said to me, his voice tight with tension.
Searching their gazes, I tried to fit names to them. Sorting through Louie's memories felt like being given a mountain of trash and told to make sense of it. I could be sifting for ages.
But one thing, one thing in particular, was necessary. One of them could fix the old man, and then my deal would be kept and I could stay forever. One of them could fix his heart.
I didn't remember his name, but I would surely recognize him in a moment. They all looked so different here than they did from...from where I'd been before.
I was free, though. It was too hot in this body, and I didn't feel right, exactly, but there was light and air and moisture in that air. I could breathe.
"Lou!" called a frantic voice, and I knew this was the one called Robert.
I flinched. He would know who I wasn't; I felt certain of this. He rushed into the room, shouldering aside the magicians. I reached up with these strange limbs, covering my face. He had seen, though. He had seen my eyes, and he recoiled as if I was a monster.
"You're not fooling anyone, you know," said the magician with the ginger whiskers. "Your eyes have turned bright, glowing green." He spoke gently: not angry or fierce at all.
He knew. They all knew. I looked around for some escape, but there was none.
Dawn was just coming through the window. How long had it taken to switch places with Louie? I'd tried from the moment he drifted off.
I recognized this man now. He was Jocelyn. He was new to this place, but Louie knew him. Knew him well: they'd shared seed once, before he started sharing seed with Robert instead.
He reached out, helped me out of bed. I was coated in moisture, and the bedclothes seemed to have tangled around my limbs. I was dressed in something — pajamas, Louie's memories told me. I stood as best I could, shakily. Somehow I couldn't say no to the ginger man, even though he was a magician and therefore my enemy. He held my hand to help me up, politely.
"Take a walk with me," he said, and the others fanned out, waiting, watching me cautiously. I could feel their power bristling, such as it was. It made me want to flinch. All the faces except for Jocelyn's were hostile. Robert's face had changed color entirely, and he looked as though he was having some kind of allergic reaction to me.
It wasn't a suggestion, the walk, but Jocelyn was still polite about it. I followed him down and out. The house seemed much bigger when you had to walk through it. I wasn't used to walking, and my steps were jerky. Louie's memories helped, but it was such an automatic thing for him — walking — that there weren't many thoughts or instructions about it in his head, and the ones there were old and fuzzy.
I did the best I could, and held onto a wall as much as I could. Jocelyn didn't let go of my arm, and I held onto him. I could feel the magic and life and air and moisture all around, and it was so beautiful, I almost couldn't think of the future, of what might happen to me, now that they knew.
It had taken all my strength to get free. But I would not go back, not under any circumstances.
It was just dawn outside, a beautiful sight, so alive. Colors coming to the world, so sweet and waiting, ready... The air was a beautiful thing, fresh and clean for me. It tasted different, but still good. I drank deep.
He guided me outside and down to a garden, surprisingly kind for a magician. My enemy, I reminded myself. But he did not feel like an enemy to this body, and he was being careful with my limbs...
I realized I was shivering. I could be cold here, too, apparently, but never as cold as I had been...there.
I wanted to go home. But I could never, never stand to be so cold again. I realized I wasn't wearing something Louie would think was appropriate. He dressed neatly, and didn't wear pajamas outside his room. I also had bare feet. The ground was cold on them, and I shivered, but it felt so good. To touch the earth, finally. I flexed these strange, fat toes that felt so short and useless to me.
"I can make you go back," said Jocelyn, "but I'd rather you went on your own. It won't hurt Louis as much, and it won't hurt you."
"I can't. I can't go back." I shuddered, full-body, and realized my fingers had begun to shake like leaves.
"No, not like that, not like before. I can put you somewhere nice so you'll have a chance to grow."
I wanted to grow. I looked at him to see if he meant it, but I couldn't tell. Louie's body and memories told me this man could be trusted, but Louie was another human. I was not. He could lie to me. That's what they did. I never wanted to trust a magician again. They were so...bad.
It had taken this long to see the sun. How could I stand to lose it again? How could I ever give that up, just because this body was wrong for me? It was better than nothing; I could feel the earth beneath my feet. I flexed my toes in it and scowled at him. "I'll fight you."
"But you don't need to. Look." He motioned ahead, pointing to one of the magicians, who was doing something in the soil. It was a protected garden area, and there were trees here and there, bushes blooming out of season, soft growing grasses and flowers — a beautiful place. I felt the soft touch of magic there, but it was a gentle thing meant only to help, only to keep plants alive in an area that wasn't natural to them. Even in the cold weather, this land would never freeze; there would always be a place for roots, even delicate ones, to be safe. And there was water. The earth looked rich. It smelled delicious.
I looked at him quickly, wondering what was going on.
He gestured. The magician was the tall one with glasses — Gareth, Louie's memory told me — and he was...was planting something. And pouring magic into it...
I let out a screech and jumped forward. "It's my seed! You're — you're planting Louie instead of me!"
"It's not too late to switch you back. You don't belong here, and he doesn't belong there."
He was going to get to do what I'd been trying and longing for for so long! He was going to sprout instead of me, and root down deep into the soil and taste the sun and air and...and I had to go back!
I turned to the magician, glaring. "If you're lying to me, I'll find a way to hurt you."
His smile looked so gentle. "I don't want to lie to you, my dear. It was wrong you were trapped. I'm trying to help you. Now let's get you back into your home. And if you don't like living here, I'll find you somewhere else, okay? But it's time for you to get busy growing. Don't worry, I'll see that you're taken very good care of. The soil is healthy, and you can grow strong. Come on," he said, very gently indeed.
I suppose he saw me wavering, saw how much I wanted this. Well, he was right.
It was wrong to trust a magician, I knew that. It had cost me so many years locked up behind glass, a prisoner in my seed, but it was...it was growing now. He couldn't stop me, once I started to grow, could he? How could he? Gareth was doing something with magic that was letting my seed sprout more quickly — without me. It was beginning, and I was missing it.
My fingers shook like leaves, but they weren't leaves.
"I'll go," I whispered. Wetness was sliding down my cheeks. What a waste these humans make of moisture. I would never waste a drop... "I'll go, only please, please...don't be a liar."
"I'll take care of you from now on, and you'll never be without soil and air and water. This is my promise to you, and I swear it on my life. Now go back home, my dear." He drew me down toward Gareth. He took both my hands, and drew me close, embracing me, kissing my forehead. I felt the fuzz of magic overtaking my senses, blurring them.
"I promise," he said again, and I allowed myself to let go, trusting him, as Louie did, as I wanted to. Oh, please don't be lying...
I slid out of the human body and back into the seed. It was sprouting; there was light. I could sense moisture, and up and down, and what I needed to do next.
I passed Louie on the way. He was glaring at me, angry and in tears — wasting water again. He did not stop to say anything, but rushed out and back toward his friend, and his body.
He'd been the easiest one for me to contact. Touched by magic, so I could reach him, but not a magician, so he couldn't hurt me. He'd spent lots of time in the room where I was trapped when he was changing things in there, and he lived in the same house, sleeping not far from that room almost every night with Robert.
Robert was touched by magic, too — many of the people here were — but he felt dangerous to me. Many of them did. I'd tried to talk only to people who were small, were not dangerous, and could help me. He clearly wished I'd picked someone else. In that moment, I almost did, too. Perhaps I could've spoken with Jocelyn and he'd have helped me even without Louie's being in danger.
But no matter. It was happening now.
I could still sense them outside. The promise from the magician bound us together in some small way, and I felt what was happening outside my seed. Louie had burst into tears, and was clinging to Jocelyn. "It was dark! So dark and cold and d-dry! Wh-where was I?"
"You were trapped in a hamadryad seed," said Jocelyn. "But you're home now, and it'll never bother you again."
Then Robert was there, and Louie exclaimed his name. The two embraced, in tears, checking and checking to be sure they were both real...
Gareth kept pouring soothing, strengthening magic into the soil, making it even more amenable to my growth. I felt the urgency of growth which had been put off for so long — generations of time — because of magic. It didn't make up for it, this nice soil, but it was certainly a start.
"Stay safe and grow strong," said Gareth.
Then he was there, Jocelyn, kneeling by where I was planted. "If you don't like it here, or Louie wants me to, I'll move you to another safe spot to grow," he said. "But you must never take over another human again, or we shall be enemies for life."
I didn't want that. I sent him a feeling of agreement, my own binding word, though it was no longer in words, because I could not yet speak in this body, this seed that was only starting to grow.
"Good," he said. "We'll both keep our promises. And I shall be your friend. If you need me, you can call, and I will do my best to come to you and help. You have my word."
I sent him a soft message like leaves waving in the sunlight: a message of thanks and blessing. He was a good magician; they existed after all.
I felt him moving away, but I knew I could reach him if I ever had to. I was a hamadryad, and he was a human magician, but he had helped me, and we had made a promise to each other.
I withdrew my attention from the outside world and looked around at the light beginning to dawn, the possibilities. No magic followed to hurt me; I was on my own now, alone. I gave a satisfied sigh.
There was so much work to be done.