KIRI WAS SECOND-GUESSING the choice of dress as she stared at herself in the full-length mirror in her bedroom. It was short, tight and a one-shouldered emerald-green number that always looked good on her. She always wore this dress when she went dancing.
It was probably dated, but this dress made her feel comfortable.
It had been a long time since she’d worn it, though.
What am I doing?
Not only had it been ages since she’d been dancing, but she shouldn’t be going out with Alejandro. Not when he was one of her surgeons. It could be detrimental to their careers, but Alejandro was the only person she’d connected with here.
The only person she knew.
She almost canceled. She was going to, except he knocked on her door.
“Hola, I...” He trailed off as his gaze raked her from head to toe.
A blush crept up her neck and bloomed in her cheeks. Her pulse raced as those dark eyes settled on her.
“You look...stunning.”
“Thank you. You said to wear a dress.”
“Yes, well, that dress suits you.” He cleared his throat. “Are you ready to go explore South Beach and samba bars?”
“I think so,” she hedged.
“You only think so? You don’t sound very certain.”
“Should we really? I mean, given my position at the hospital...”
He held up his hand, cutting her off. “We’re going as colleagues. Nothing more. We’re celebrating, that’s all. We’re friends, yes?” He held out his hand. “So are you coming?”
No. Don’t do it.
It had been so long since she’d had fun. Kiri took his hand and went with him. Once they were outside the cool chill of air-conditioning gave way to a sultry night. It wasn’t too bad as a breeze was rolling in off the ocean.
“How far are we going?” she asked.
“Not far. Stick with me.”
Kiri did exactly what Alejandro suggested as they moved through the crowds. She stuck close to his side as they moved through the crowded streets toward a samba bar on the busiest street of South Beach. She could hear the Latin music pouring out onto the street. It was loud, but not obnoxious. It seemed to fit with the mood of the crowd, the vibe in the air.
“Slow down, you have longer legs than me,” she teased as she tried to keep up.
Alejandro stopped and looked at her legs, grinning. “They look fine to me. Damn fine. I happen to like your legs. If I haven’t said so already, I’m so glad you wore a short, tight dress.”
“Be serious,” she said, but she was pleased he thought she looked good. The last time she’d felt even remotely good about herself had been in Vegas.
Don’t think about that night.
“That’s not the point. Slow the pace down. I can’t keep up with your march.”
“I’m just eager to dance with you. To dance in celebration of our success with that little girl today.” And as if to hammer his point home, he spun her around in the crowds.
Kiri laughed at his enthusiasm.
Alejandro gripped her hand tight as he moved through the crowds. Or actually it was almost as if the crowds parted for him. And as they moved through the people she could see more than a few women who stopped to check him out.
And to check out her as well, the competition, as it were.
It made her feel slightly uncomfortable to be sized up by other women. It reminded her of the times when she’d been a little girl, chubby, in hand-me-downs from her older sister, a bad haircut and big, thick glasses.
You’re not that girl anymore.
She was a confident, talented surgeon with a great job at a respectable hospital. Although she couldn’t blame the women for checking out Alejandro. He looked so good in his tight white shirt and dark denim. He had perfect hair, he was tall and ripped and had a devastatingly charming smile, with a dimple to boot.
So sexy.
It wasn’t just his looks, though. It was his personality. His charisma. He had this hold on people. Kiri was pretty sure that he was aware of this and he used it to his advantage, and given that it was Friday night and the street outside the club was packed, she was glad he knew his way around.
Alejandro spoke with the doorman. They shook hands and laughed and the velvet rope was lifted for them to enter the club, much to the protests of the crowd waiting.
“Come on,” Alejandro said.
“How did you get in? There’s a huge line waiting to get in here.”
“I grew up with the bouncer and the club owner. Plus, I started dancing in a club like this.”
She stopped in her tracks. “You mean...”
“No,” Alejandro said quickly as he led her into the darkened club. “I just danced. My friend would hire dancers to dance with lonely women who were on their own. That’s how I was discovered by Ricky, who got me into the exotic dancing side. Of course the club Ricky found me in was in Little Heliconia. The club owner I know has become very successful.”
The club was filled with people dancing and there were dancers on a stage by the bar in brightly colored costumes covered in feathers dancing to the Latin beat. It was like being at Carnival in Rio, only more contained.
It was overwhelming. She gripped Alejandro’s hand tighter as she took it all in. It was like an attack on the senses, but then she felt excited to be here. The music made her sway a bit. She’d been dreading this, but now that she was here she thought this might actually be fun. As long as she kept her cool around Alejandro and didn’t let her attraction to him sway any of her decisions.
“Why did you choose dancing for Ricky over this?” she asked, shouting a bit over the noise.
“Dancing for Ricky paid way more. I would still be dancing here, trying to pay off medical school, if I hadn’t taken that job.” And then he spun her as they headed out onto the dance floor. “I was one of the best dancers here.”
He brought her out of the spin and tight against his body as he led her into a dance. Her pulse was racing, being so close to him. His arms wrapped around her as their bodies moved together.
“I don’t doubt it,” she said, and then she cursed herself inwardly for sounding a bit like a schmuck. She tripped and he caught her.
“Legs wobbling still from the forced march?” he teased.
“No, I don’t dance very well. I’m not very coordinated in heels. I can barely walk in them. And, besides, I told you I don’t dance.”
He smiled down at her. “You’re doing fine.”
“Ha-ha. You’re too kind.”
Alejandro frowned. “No, you’re doing fine. Just grab the rhythm.”
“Says the man to the woman who is rhythmically inept.”
He chuckled and then his hands moved from hers and he put them on her hips, guiding them to the rhythm of the music. “Just feel the music. Close your eyes and forget everything else.”
It was hard to forget everything else while his hands were on her hips, guiding her in a very sensual dance. Her body was very aware that Alejandro was touching her and she was glad a layer of clothes was separating them.
“There you go,” he said. “You’ve got it.” He took her hands again and led her into the middle of the dance floor, his hands holding hers as he led her through a very simple dance. His dark eyes twinkled and that irresistible grin made her feel a bit weak in the knees. She couldn’t help but admire the way his body moved.
She’d enjoyed watching him in surgery; his fingers working on the most delicate structures was like a dance in itself and this was just an extension of that. It was an assault on her senses.
He had been the only man to ever make her feel something. He’d made her feel desirable, sexy, and it was a rush to feel that way again in his arms.
Five years had not dulled the desire she still felt for him.
He spun her round again and she laughed as the colorful dancers all around her and the flashing lights blurred in a dazzling light.
He was laughing too as he pushed and pulled her through the dance and she just listened to his advice and found the rhythm of the music and moved her hips. His eyes were dark and she recognized that look, the lust in his eyes, and her heart fluttered.
She had to be careful tonight or she might be swept away.
The song began to wind down and he spun her round and then brought her close, holding her tight against him. His breath was hot on her neck as their hips moved together.
The song ended and people began to clap. She pushed herself away from his embrace and joined in applauding the live band.
Another song started up and before she had a chance to say no, because she was still trying to regain composure from the last dance, he brought her close, holding her tight. His hand held hers as he led her through a slower dance.
She glanced up to see him staring at her.
“What?” she asked.
“Nothing.” He looked away. “I was just going to compliment you on your supposed lack of dancing skills.”
She stepped on his foot and they laughed together. It was nice to be real with him. Kiri didn’t have to pretend.
“See, I told you I’m no good at this.”
“You’re very good at this.” He smiled at her.
Kiri’s heart skipped a beat. She thought he was going to kiss her and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to stop him.
“It’s hot out here on the dance floor. Do you mind if we stop?” she asked over the din of music.
“Do you want something to drink?” Alejandro shouted.
“Yes. Some water would be great. The crush of people in here, it’s so hot.”
He nodded. “Let’s go that way, where there’s a quieter bar.”
Kiri took his hand and he led her off the dance floor. They found a small table tucked into the corner of a bar. She sat down and he went to get the drinks. He brought back two bottles of what looked like expensive water.
“How much did that cost you?” she asked.
“Probably more than an alcoholic drink. This water might be made of gold.”
She laughed and took a drink. It was ice cold and heavenly. “Thank you for the water. This place is popular.”
Alejandro nodded. “It’s one of the best in South Beach and a definite tourist trap.”
“I can see why. Not only are people dancing but this place is crawling with professional dancers.”
“They often do a dinner show early in the evening, but you need reservations for that.”
“I’m sure those are hard to come by.”
He nodded. “That’s really for all the tourists.” He took another swig of his water. “You did so good out there. You can dance, you’re just being modest.”
“I’m not being modest. I really can’t dance, but you’re a good teacher.”
“Gracias. I did do a bit of that too.”
“What?” she asked.
“Teaching dance, but again Ricky paid me so much more to do exotic dancing.” He frowned. “I loathed it so much, but it afforded me my freedom.”
“Aren’t you afraid that one of our patients would’ve seen you? I mean, look at me.”
He shrugged. “I have thought of that, but I didn’t do my exotic dancing in Miami. I was quite insistent that I be sent outside the greater Miami area. I didn’t want my brothers finding out. They didn’t know that I was doing any sort of dancing as a way to pay for my schooling. They thought I was working at the docks in a fish-processing facility.”
Kiri wrinkled her nose. “And that was better?”
“To my older brothers, yes. I didn’t have the guts to join the army like my brother Santiago.”
“Who taught you to dance?” she asked.
“My mother. She taught me and I just kept dancing, even after she died.” He smiled wistfully. “She wanted me to be a dancer, I think, like her brother Jorge. Jorge died when she was young, before she came here. She always talked about Jorge’s dancing.”
“And your bothers didn’t know you danced even then?”
“No, they would’ve teased me so it was a secret. Just me and my mother knew about it.” He cleared his throat. “If someone were to recognize me I’d pretend I didn’t know them. Honestly, most people don’t remember a male exotic dancer’s face. The only reason you remember me is because of what happened afterward.”
His gaze was intense and she looked away.
“Yes,” she whispered, and the reason his face was burned into her brain was because no other man had made her feel that way, because she’d stepped out of her comfort zone and allowed him in, and look where that had got her.
“Come on, let’s have another dance.” He stood and held out her hand and as much as she wanted to, she just couldn’t.
“I’d rather not press my luck. I think I’ll sit this one out.”
“Are you okay?” he asked, squatting down in front of her. “Too many people?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I just need some air. It’s really crowded in here.”
He nodded. “Okay, let’s get out of here and take a walk on the beach. It’s been an exciting day.”
She was relieved that he understood her need to get out of the crowded club. She took his hand and let Alejandro lead her out of the overcrowded club. Her head was pounding because of the loud music, but it wasn’t that. Being with him like this, getting to know him was going to make it harder to walk away. She liked being with him, but they didn’t want the same things. There was no future for them.
It ate away at her soul.
They crossed the street, dodging the cars that were pretty much at a standstill because of people looking for parking and partygoers going from bar to bar.
Once they were on the opposite side of the street it was a short walk over some small dunes and through some long grass to the beach. It was dark and overcast. There was a strong breeze blowing in from the ocean, but it was nice. They kicked off their shoes because sand was starting to fill them.
Even though it was dark, the sand was soft and warm against her feet.
It was exactly what she needed at that moment.
“Looks like a storm is rolling in,” Alejandro remarked. “Or rather it feels like a storm is rolling in. I can’t tell since it’s dark.”
Kiri glanced out over the water, but all she could see was darkness, though she understood what he meant. The air felt different. The wind was stronger, with a haunting whistle to it. And then there was a distant roll of thunder.
“Maybe we should head for shelter?” she asked.
“It’s still far off. We can walk on the beach back to home. Would you like that?”
“Yes. It will be better than the crowded street.”
They walked in silence, right down by the shoreline, letting the cold water wash over their toes. It felt so good. There was another flash of lightning, this time closer, and they stopped to watch it light up the sky in the distance. And then a bolt of thunder cracked across the sky over the ocean.
“Beautiful,” Kiri murmured.
“It is. I never tire of watching it.”
“Have you ever watched a hurricane come in?” she asked.
“Only when the whitecaps come rolling in. I’m smart enough to know that when a hurricane is coming you seek shelter. As one man said once, it’s not that the wind is blowing, it’s what the wind is throwing around that causes the most damage.”
“Sound advice.”
“Though I do understand the appeal of chasing a storm. The danger in it. I find them fascinating.”
She stopped to look up at him. In the streetlights shining down onto the beach, and as the lightning flashed, she could see the wind rippling his white cotton shirt.
“You like to live dangerously, then?”
“No, but I like the idea of living dangerously. The only time I lived dangerously was when I came up to you in that bar five years ago.” He took a step closer and tilted her chin so she was looking at him. Her heart hammered against her chest and her body ignited in a thousand flames. He still had a physical effect on her.
So much so that she lost all sense of control around him.
And she didn’t like to lose control. She couldn’t lose control when it came to Alejandro. She’d learned the hard way what it was like to lose control around him. He cupped her face, strands of hair tickling her cheek, and no matter how much she wanted to fight it, how much her inside voice screamed that she should push him away, she just couldn’t.
She closed her eyes and let him kiss her.
His lips were gentle against hers, familiar, and so many emotions came bubbling to the surface. Anger, sadness and lust. It had been so long since she’d been kissed by a man she couldn’t remember when it had been.
She’d only been on a couple of dates after she’d lost the baby, but now, with Alejandro’s arms wrapped around her, she couldn’t recall them.
All she could remember was him.
Everything else was forgotten as she melted in his arms. Kiri wanted to stay there. He made her feel safe, he made her feel alive again.
What’re you doing?
She pushed him away. “I can’t.”
“I’m sorry, mi tesoro,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
My treasure. Only she wasn’t his treasure and she resented the term of endearment.
Kiri nodded as his words hit her with a cold dose of reality. “It’s okay, but please don’t call me that. I’m not your treasure. I never will be.”
A strange look passed on his face. “Of course. I’m sorry.”
“I’d like to go home now. I have some more meetings tomorrow that I have to prepare for. It was a long, emotional day. This was probably not wise. I should’ve just gone to bed.”
“Of course. I’ll take you home.” There was no lingering by the beach this time. They walked the rest of the way in awkward silence along the beach until they got to their condo.
They rode the elevator up to their floor in silence. She tried not to look at him. If she did, she might cry or do something she’d regret.
And Alejandro walked her to her door only because his own door was across the hall from hers.
“Kiri,” he said gently, those dark eyes of his making her melt, “I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”
“It’s okay.” She was trying not to let her emotions overwhelm her.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I got carried away, but I want you to know that I don’t regret what happened between us. Not then, not now.”
What he said made her pulse race.
“I don’t regret what happened between us. Not then, not now.”
Kiri didn’t regret it either, but she knew that if Alejandro knew what had happened he might regret ever having laid eyes on her. He might regret ever sleeping with her.
The thing was, even after her loss she’d never regretted the choice she’d made. It had hurt, but she’d never regretted going with Alejandro that night. That night had been the most wonderful night in her whole adult life.
No man had ever treated her like that before. Or since.
So, no, she didn’t regret it either. She wished that she could have more, but there couldn’t be any more between them. She was technically his boss. She’d come here to prove herself, not to fall in love. She couldn’t fall in love with a man who didn’t want kids. Still, she wanted him to know. Wanted him to share it with her.
He had the right to know.
For so long that pain had been very hard to bear and she’d sworn to herself five years ago that she would never ever go through it again. Telling him would probably push him away for good.
So it was better this way. He deserved to know.
It was better to keep Alejandro at a distance. That kiss had been too dangerous.
It was too dangerous for her heart.
“Alejandro, five years ago, after our night together, I fell pregnant.”
“I... What?” he asked, his eyes widening. “Pregnant?”
“I lost the baby. I tried to find you but...” Tears streamed down her face. “I can’t ever go through that pain again. You deserve to know. I’m sorry. So sorry.”
She didn’t give him a chance to respond because she began to cry harder. She had to get away from him. Kiri pulled out her keys, her hands shaking as she unlocked her door.
“Kiri...”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry.” She slipped inside her apartment and shut her door quickly so she didn’t have to see the stunned expression on his face or the hurt. She didn’t want to talk about it because she couldn’t handle it right now.
At least he knew now.
At least now she could move on without him, without the guilt of keeping the loss of their child a secret, because she was sure he wouldn’t want anything to do with her again.