I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
—Psalm 59:16
I clearly remember the first time God answered my prayers.
Indulge me, if you don’t mind, as I tell you a story from when I was in the third grade. I mentioned it in Perfectly Unique, but I can retell it with ease because it is one of the strongest memories I have about my faith as a child.
No, not about how my third-grade boyfriend quoted Cinderella to woo me. In the lunch line.
No, not how I wore one of my dad’s T-shirts with a belt and thought everyone else would think it was a cool dress.
No, not how I cried when the boy in the desk next to me looked up a bad word in the dictionary and leaned across the desks to show me. It scared me, so I cried. (Wee bit sheltered, I was.)
In the spring of my third-grade year, I starred in our church’s children’s musical. Okay, to say I was “THE STAR” is a bit of an exaggeration because, while it was true in my heart, I’m pretty sure I was just one of the stars. Fine, one of the cast members.
I was Little Psalty. (For those who don’t remember, or have never known, Psalty is a singing hymnal who teaches children about God.) I strapped on this huge blue cardboard costume shaped like a hymnal and threw a baseball bat over my shoulder. I then was to walk through the crowd singing “Take My Life and Let It Be,” a beautiful old hymn written by Fanny Crosby.
Oh, did I mention I was a male character? So that’s a special part of the story. Hi, my name is Annie, and the only time I got an almost-starring role in a live performance, I end up playing a little boy hymnal.
It was the biggest theatrical performance of the first nine years of my life. And to be honest, it was probably the biggest theatrical performance of the first thirty-three years of my life.
When I got home from school the day of the musical, my mom was in her bed, all the lights off in her room. She had a migraine.
My life is full of memories of migraines. When I was a kid we took my mother to the hospital for them or left the house with my dad so she would have peace and quiet, so I knew immediately that it was bad.
(And in the last fifteen years or so migranes have become an unfortunate part of my adult life as well.)
She whispered to me in her headache voice that she was sorry, but she wasn’t going to be able to make it to the performance that night.
Well, my tender little third-grade heart was broken.
I ran up the stairs to my room, threw my book bag on the floor, knelt down beside my bed, clasped my hands together, and prayed as hard as my heart knew how to pray.
I don’t recall every word spoken during that fervent kid prayer; I know I prayed God would heal Mama’s headache so she could come to the performance. I begged like only a nine-year-old knows how, with eyes squeezed tight and repeating the same few phrases over and over again.
While I don’t remember the words, I remember the feeling. The urgency. The worry. The panic. The desperation.
Mom was still in bed when I left, and I was crushed by the fact she wasn’t coming. Even as a child I was a bit dramatic, so when I think about that night I think about a gray cloud floating above my head.
With just minutes until the curtain went up (yes, our church gym had a stage with a legit curtain. I was a privileged child), someone whispered my name. I was standing on the risers, ready to sing, and there was my mom, on the side of the stage, telling me she had made it!
I know. It’s like an ABC Family Movie moment.
God answered my prayers. Mom was unable to get out of bed when I left for the performance, and there she was, standing stage left.
I talked to Him, He heard me, and He answered in such a way that I will always have a memory of His ability to heal.
And that’s when I learned, for the first time, that prayer is powerful.
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
People get healed. Things change on earth and in the spiritual realm. I mean, if we had all the pages in the world, I would recount for you all the stories in the Bible where someone prayed and God moved. Because, my friend, there are a lot.
Prayer isn’t magical exactly; that’s not the right word. But it is otherworldly. It is this amazing opportunity to connect directly with the greatest Being who has always been. Not only are you getting to talk to Him, but He is talking to you.
Wrap your mind around that and then call and tell me how you did it.
But for some reason, even knowing how well we are known by Him, talking to God can be so easy and so difficult at the same time.
(You’re welcome for such an insightful statement.)
Here’s why: talking to God is super easy because He is everywhere and He is listening. But talking to God can feel super hard because, well, He’s invisible.
But your ability to see Him does not determine His ability to exist. He’s absolutely real. And He is listening.
Like with every other friend you have, there is an element of talking and listening needed to make for real conversation and to grow your relationship with God. And no matter what someone has said to you, or what you hear in your head, you are never too young to enter into important and life-changing conversations with God.
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young,
but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
We’ve talked about listening to God and what it is like to allow Him to speak love to us. When the world feels like it is too much or too evil or too hard, His love is the whisper in my heart that reminds me not to quit. I’m praying today that you are feeling that—the understanding, deep in your knower, that you aren’t too young to hear from God, you aren’t too messed up to know His love, and you aren’t too busy to speak love to Him.
Some things that we need to remember when it comes to talking to God:
You know, it’s only because of the sacrifice Jesus made that we can even speak straight to God. Before Jesus? The priests talked to God on behalf of the people. Now the veil has been torn (see Matthew 27:50–54) and we have access straight to God. He is perfect and holy while we are sinful. But Jesus covers our sins, we are clean, and God sees us that way. I think I take that for granted—the fact that God is always accessible now. But He is. He is right there, waiting for you to speak to Him about all the things that matter to you. But remember when you talk to Him, He is a King. He is THE King. Be respectful.
Sometimes I worry, “I can’t say that to God.” Because maybe I think it is stupid, or the “wrong” thing to pray, or that He doesn’t want to hear. Or worse? Sometimes I think I can’t express anger or sadness to God. But if my feelings are hurt because something didn’t work out the way I wanted it to, I don’t have to pretend with God. He can handle my crazy. Here’s the truth—He can handle yours too. He’s very big. What you’re going to say won’t shock His solar system. While He is holy and worthy of your respect (see #1), He can handle your honesty too.
Meanwhile, while God is handling our crazy, He’s also loving us so much. It’s really nice of Him. I think it is important to remember, when you are talking to God, that He is all-loving. You don’t always get what you want when you pray, but it doesn’t mean you should stop praying or that God doesn’t love you. Keep praying. Keep worshiping. Keep believing. (Don’t stop believin’? Journey song? You’re welcome.) When you love someone, you love talking to them, being around them, listening to their dreams and hopes and worries. This is how God feels about you. Always.
There’s not a time when you’re going to cry out to Him and He’s going to ignore you, or be sleeping, or be busy tending to someone else’s crazy. Part of the mystery of God is His omnipresence, His ability to be everywhere. He always has time for you, He is always available. So whether it is first thing when you wake up, in the middle of the night, or in the middle of science class, you can talk to Him. He is listening.
One major way we talk to God is through worship and praise. We’ll get there in a minute, but a key thing we need to remember is that God deserves our worship. No matter what your circumstances are, no matter if things are good or bad or both (as they usually are), He is worthy. He is always good, always loving, and the One who created everything. Things may not go the way you want them to, but He is still worthy.
If you’ve spent more than thirty minutes in a Sunday school class or youth group, this chapter might feel commonplace. You’ve heard this stuff—about praying and reading your Bible and all that jazz, but I’m hoping you’ll read with an open mind and open heart.
I grew up in youth group too. From age ten to eighteen-ish, if the church doors were open and the Coke machine was taking quarters, I was there. I heard the same talk, the same topics covered for years and years. I know it can seem redundant. But there is nothing boring about a God who is alive and cares about us. Other religions worship gods who are long dead. But the hope we have? The truth we have? Our God is alive. And how we speak love to God, and how He speaks love to us, affects every area of our lives.
I think there are a few ways we can all talk to God on a daily basis. You don’t have to do them all for two hours a day. There aren’t “rules,” per se, about what actions you HAVE to do to talk to God. But adopting these habits will provide the tools that help you grow that relationship.
No rules, just tools. (That may be my new favorite rhyme. You’re welcome again.)
This morning, I came home from my favorite store and sat down in my comfy chair to spend a little time with God. I’m not good at setting aside time every single day, but a few mornings a week I make time to sit and think and pray a bit.
Thanks to the iHome my parents gave me for Christmas, I scrolled my iPod to an old worship album from my college days and started to journal as the music played. I wrote about a guy I used to like and how he now has a new girlfriend (ouch). I wrote out some prayers for college students I know here in Nashville. I described some worries that keep flittering around the corners of my mind. I sat quietly and thought about things, picturing some situations I am in that I don’t know how to handle. And I asked God, in my heart and with my pen, to teach me how to handle those situations well. How do I show love? How do I act with wisdom? How do I encourage?
I read some of 1 Peter, a book of the Bible written by our friend Peter. I just can’t kick the connection I feel with that dude, and one of my all-time favorite verses about Jesus sits right on the first page of that book.
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don’t see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you’ll get what you’re looking forward to: total salvation.
Journaling is part of my life now, but it’s a tool that I have adopted and practiced and grown through. Sixteen years ago, that wasn’t the case.
The first journal I ever wrote in was given to me by my small group leader the summer between my junior and senior years of high school. She handed it to me the Sunday before our church youth group went to the beach. I remember sitting on the balcony of our cheap oceanfront hotel room and pondering hard about how I wanted to start the journal.
I opened the beautiful journal—navy blue with gold and white stars and moons and suns—and read Laurel’s inscription.
Annie,
May your dreams and prayers reach beyond the sun, moon, and the stars.
Here is a place for you to jot down your favorite scripture, a dream, or just your thoughts.
And then she wrote some personal stuff about our friendship and her prayers for me.
With those kind words and instructions, I was ready to get started.
I’d had enough “diaries” in my life to know I didn’t want to start with “Dear Journal.” I was making college choices and boy choices and grown-up decisions and my life at that point was much different from the one I’d captured in my middle-school diary.
This was serious business.
So I started with the date, the day of the week, and the location.
Then I just started to write, stream-of-consciousness style, about being at the beach, how it was my last summer on this retreat that had become a favorite, and about this cute new guy who had just come on the scene.
(In retrospect, that actually does sound a lot like a diary. But don’t tell seventeen-year-old Annie that.)
And then I did something new for me. I wrote a prayer. I started to transcribe the words my head was praying to God about what college I should go to (University of Georgia or Samford University?) and my fears regarding my senior year of high school and all the many transitions that begin that year of life and stop, well, never (sorry to say).
I didn’t know if I was doing it right, this journaling thing. I didn’t know if there were rules that I hadn’t read or if God expected something particular, I just know how I felt—peaceful. Quieted. I knew when I was done, my hand had slowed and my thoughts had as well. Everything felt calm, except the beach breeze blowing my hair across my face.
A lot of years and about fifteen journals later, I’m still going. Not every day; sometimes I will miss a week or two or a month, but I always have a journal sitting there, waiting on me to scratch my heart across its pages.
While I was writing this, I was hanging with two of the girls from my CrossPoint Church small group, talking about college and dudes and the Lent season and gal stuff. We were discussing our plans for small group that night and I mentioned, in passing, that the girls should bring their journals. To my utter shock, neither of them had a journal. It took me a minute to remember that they are not that much older now than I was when I began journaling.
And then I got all giggly, because one of the joys of leading a small group is introducing my girls to spiritual disciplines or life lessons or skillz that they may not already know. (Example: praying out loud, how to cook with a Crock-Pot, and so on. My favorite Crock-Pot recipe? In the appendix. Check it.)
So that night, when the girls arrived and we finished eating our taco soup, I pulled the huge clear plastic tub from the hallway closet and showed them my ever-growing collection of journals.
Every notebook I have written in, scribbled on, and cried over for the last sixteen years is stored in this container. I pulled out specific ones and told the girls about my memories from that season of life. How the one with the photograph of a little boy and girl in black and white was my freshman year of college and I accidentally left it at church one day and felt panicked because I wrote about my crush in there. How the one with the hand-drawn armor of God went along on the first mission trip I led. And I showed them that first one, with the white and gold stars, not even halfway full, but so meaningful.
I read a few carefully selected excerpts to the girls, and I told them what to do with my journals when I die. (Burn them all. No reading them. Seriously.)
It was a sweet experience for our group—for them to see some of my history and for me to look back through some of those formative seasons of my life.
That’s what journaling does. It records seasons. It holds questions and hurts and hopes and prayers from different times in your life.
I know not everyone loves writing, I get that. But I think journaling in some form or fashion is super important—whether that is a pen to paper, writing a song, making lists on your computer, writing a blog post, whatever. You need to journal to record God’s faithfulness in your life. You need a place where important verses are collected. You need a spot where you hurt, then wrestle with God, and survive it. You need to write the prayers that seem to never get answered. You need to write the ones that do.
When it is so easy for me to forget how many times God has saved the day, or feel like He has forgotten me, I have my journals to remind me that He has always been there for me.
Prayer is our most direct connection to God—your voice to His ear. I don’t have any special insider information on prayer. I don’t understand why it seems to “work” sometimes and then not work other times. I can list for you many prayers that I have uttered throughout the years that I don’t understand what God did with them.
We’ve talked about the power of prayer and, y’all, it is real. Praying changes things. But in this section, we aren’t going to have a conversation about why God answers some prayers and seems to not answer others or why some people get healed and others don’t. If your focus, or my focus, is on how God answers and why God answers, we’ve totally missed the purpose of prayer.
So why do we pray? What’s the root of all of it? To get stuff? To change God’s mind so He’ll give us what we want?
We pray because it connects us to God and deepens that relationship.
When I was in the ninth and tenth grades, my best friend at school was named Chrissy. I loved getting to school because Chrissy and I would sit down and talk like crazy because it had been a full fourteen hours since we were in the same room. (This was in the ancient days before social media helped us to know what our friends are doing at any waking moment … and some sleeping moments.) I told her about soccer practice and whatever crazy my little sisters had gotten into, and she would tell me about cheerleading and the boy she liked and anything else of import.
We didn’t talk because we had to or because we had a goal of growing our friendship. We never walked into homeroom thinking, “Today I shall speaketh to my friend in order that our friendship may flourish.” Of course not. But I wanted her to know what was important to me because she was important to me.
That’s why we pray.
Can we ask God for things? Certainly. I mean, not pots of gold at the end of a rainbow per se, but there is an element of prayer that is about telling God what we need and want and trusting Him to answer in a way that is best for us. I still pray for a husband, I pray for my friends to be healed, I pray for our president, I pray for financial provision for myself and for others I care about, like missionaries. So, totally—prayer can be asking for things.
But remember, God is not a vending machine in the sky or Amazon.com, or even the Starbucks drive thru. You can’t place an order and expect it to be ready for you when you drive around the corner, piping hot with whipped cream.
Go into prayer with one main goal: growing your relationship with God. There is no greater gift, nothing you could ask for, that is better than knowing Him. The Bible says that one day in His courts is better than a thousand elsewhere (see Psalm 84:10).
Don’t get me wrong—sometimes prayer absolutely changes things. You can read story after story in the Bible of how someone prayed and it altered the future. Healings. Freedom. Direction. All of it. And I’ve seen it in my life and the lives of my friends and family—over and over again. There is power in prayer.
But if we are talking about how we use our words, here’s the truth: we use our words in prayer to get to know God better, not to get stuff that we want.
Don’t know how to pray? Intimidated to start? I totally get that. I feel that way some days too. But Jesus modeled for us how to pray, and I use His example a lot to jump-start my prayer times.
This, then, is how you should pray:
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”
So either out loud, or in my journal, it goes like this:
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
I think You’re great, God. I worship You. Your name is holy.
your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Yeah, there are just some things going on, God, that I’m asking for You to step in—like my friend’s dad being sick. I pray You would heal him, that Your will would be done. I’m also trying to decide about which project to take next—I want to do whatever is best, whatever is Your will. Will You reveal that to me?
Give us today our daily bread.
It’s almost the end of the month and I’m just not sure I’m going to have enough money, God. But I trust You to provide for me. Please help me to have enough money to get through this last week.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Ugh. This is hard for me today because I’m so mad at Susan and how she was talking bad about Karen. I just don’t want to be nice to her or be around her. Forgive my hard heart. I know You’ve forgiven me—help me to forgive her.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
God, it’s super hard to stay away from temptation when it is ALL AROUND ME. Would You protect me? Show me the way out of tempting situations and how I can run the other direction.
So see? That five-line prayer gets a lot longer when it gets personal, when each line starts to mean something to you. It’s not complicated, but it is life-changing.
Dear friend, I am barely going knee-deep into the realities of prayer. I know this feels surface-y and many of you wish we’d talk more about what prayer is and isn’t and how to do it. First of all, ask the Christian adults in your life! There is no better way to grow in a spiritual discipline than to ask more mature Christians around you how they do it. If you want to read more books on it, or don’t have adults you trust to ask about prayer, check the appendix for suggestions.
The other way to get better at prayer? Practice. Just do it. Out loud in your car, quietly in your room, in your journal, at church, at school, with your friends and with your family. Just pray. Talk to God, telling Him the things that matter to you, the things you need, the things you feel.
I couldn’t fall asleep last night. My yesterday was intense with radio interviews and teaching a class on writing, an important business meeting, and well, writing this book. When my head finally hit the pillow, it was like my mind sloshed all my thoughts around and nothing made sense anymore. I mentally made lists of things I needed to do and write and say and email and tweet, and I began to worry. Was my family okay? What if I handled that friendship situation wrong? AM I SCREWING UP MY ENTIRE LIFE?
Obviously, I’m very rational late into the night. (And by late, I mean 11 p.m. I’m crazy now that I’m in my thirties.)
So I got that trusty new iHome and started a favorite worship album. I crawled back under my winter stack of blankets and began to quietly sing along to the songs. And it is like my mind was being filled with new words, washing out the old ones.
That’s what worship does, I think. It takes the focus off me and my issues and turns my attention to the One who can handle it all. To the One who deserves my focus.
It’s true when people say that worship is a lifestyle—it is. But in this particular instance, our focus is worshiping with our words, and almost always that looks like worshiping in song.
I like to play worship music when I’m getting ready in the morning. It sets my mind right, it gives focus to my day, and it keeps me from crawling back into bed and going to sleep. (Also, I’ve started making my bed every morning so THAT keeps me from crawling back in as well.)
I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
When it comes to using our words to speak love to God, nothing fits that better than worship. Sometimes other people say things way better than I ever could, and their songs become mantras that I believe about God or want to believe about God.
It doesn’t matter the style you like—whether you rock hard or prefer piano music, whether a capella is your jam or it’s full bands. What matters is that the words you sing resonate in your heart and head up to God.
In worship, we get to tell God how great He is. I heard a pastor talk recently about how the Bible teaches about the sacrifice of praise—how it doesn’t always feel good to worship and tell God that He is great. I know that’s true. There have been seasons of my life when I have barely been able to get the words out as the song played because my heart was broken or hurt or annoyed or questioning whether or not what I was saying was true.
When I look at my iTunes, one of the top-played songs is “All the Poor and Powerless” by All Sons & Daughters. The lyrics speak to my heart about who God is and how I want the world to know of Him. So I use my voice, as unimpressive as it is, to sing this song out to God.
When I was in high school, I had CDs by some of my favorite Christian artists—Point of Grace and Michael W. Smith were two favs. I didn’t know that you could also have recordings of music we sang at church until the winter of my senior year, when I attended a retreat called In The Vine. There was a worship band there, and that first night after they played, as we left the auditorium, there was a table in the back with worship CDs.
I thought I had died and gone to heaven. You mean I can have the same songs we sing in church IN MY EARS ANYTIME I WANT?
I know. It sounds ridiculous now. But boy, it rocked my world. All Saturday during our retreat free time, I stayed in my top bunk with my earphones on, listening to worship songs over and over.
Now all we have to do is pop on YouTube and someone has probably put up a lyric video of your favorite song from Sunday morning worship or summer camp. The songs of worship are everywhere now.
Your voice rising to God is an atmosphere-changer. It changes the mood. It changes what is going on in the spiritual realm.
Also, it is a public thank-you. I don’t tell God thanks enough. You probably don’t either. But worship is a full-on thank-you fest. Whether or not you feel it—whether it has been the worst week of school or you just won a gold medal at the Olympics—worship overrides our emotions and lets us speak truth. Speak love.
(Looking for some great worship albums to purchase? Check the appendix, yo.)
I know this chapter has been long. But in reality, if we aren’t using our words well to speak to God, then none of our other relationships will work well either. I wanted to camp here, at the place that matters the most. He is the center, He’s the core. So I’m okay that we had to push into this one a little more than some later chapters.
This is your priority. This is the river relationship from which all your words flow.
Out of the overflow of [her] heart [her] mouth speaks.
I think that’s why it is important for me to start my day talking to God. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a four-hour prayer/worship/journaling sesh every day (but if you do, I’m totally impressed and think that is great). When I wake up, at the suggestion of my friend Emily Freeman, I try to start my day listening. I whisper some hellos to God while my eyes adjust to the morning and my body stretches awake. And then I listen … before I grab my iPhone and check my email and every other social media site on the globe, I try to make it about God.
If that’s how I start, the rest of the day seems to have more purpose.
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
—Psalm 59:16 NIV
• 1 Timothy 4:12
• 1 Peter 1:8–9
• Psalm 84:10
• Matthew 6:9–13
• Luke 6:45
• Read in Exodus about all the times that worship occurs—with Miriam, Moses, etc. (If you need help finding verses, use the keyword function on BibleGateway.com or page to the topical index in your Bible.) It’s fascinating WHEN the people decided to worship and WHY.
• Use your concordance or BibleGateway.com to search these terms:
» prayer, praying, prays
» worship, praise, worshipers
• Write out a prayer of thanksgiving to God—tell Him the things you are thankful for today. Need help getting started? Write T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U down the page of your journal and write one word or phrase for each letter about something you are thankful to God for.
• Have you ever considered writing a song about God? Start here! Write a poem sharing truths about who God is. (And then if you want to, grab your guitar or piano or your musically inclined BFF and turn it into a song!)
• When is the first time you remember God answering your prayers? Tell that story in your journal.
• List five situations in your life where you need God to answer your prayers.
• You need a journal if you don’t have one, sister. Whether that’s a Word document on your computer or the back of Speak Love Revolution or pages ripped from an old school notebook and stapled together, you need a place to record what God is doing for you.
• Share a YouTube video of your favorite worship song on social media. Use the hashtag #SpeakLove so we can all see it!