I didn’t expect Justin to be at our house, but I should have.
He has become like a mole on my brother’s face:
I’m having trouble remembering what David
looks like without Justin
slumped by his side, always the same smell
coming off him in waves:
Weed and cats
Weed and cats
Weed and cats
I don’t think my brother’s gay—
he called me a carpet muncher
when I told him I had a crush
on a girl in ninth grade—but I guess
David being gay doesn’t mean
David can’t also be cruel.
But I can’t explain why else Justin
would have turned my brother into Velcro.
They’re standing there in the kitchen
when I walk in, and the smell of cigarettes
tells me my mother is in the garage, smoking
and probably/definitely crying.
I stare at my brother and he stares back,
nods at the bag.
“Is that for us?”
“No,” I say.
“It’s for you.”
“Same thing” says Justin
and he doesn’t say it the way a boyfriend would
not flirty or funny.
He says it the way kudzu would speak
of the car it has swallowed:
We’re the same thing. This is mine now.