Blake Felipe was staring at me today in the cafeteria

with no smile on her mouth, even as her friends

whirled and chirped around her the way

happy girls do. I was sitting by the windows

imagining I was one of the red leaves blowing toward oblivion outside

and she was at the table that she was born to sit at

but for some reason she was staring

at me, even when I switched to the other side of the table,

even when I looked down

and then up again,

even when I turned my back

and then glanced in her direction.

It’s not like high school movies,

where the cool girls are rattlesnakes

and girls like me are tripped

into plates full of ketchup. Rather

there is a wall that separates us

a line we don’t cross,

a beach of untouched sand stretching between us,

and Blake staring at me

the way she was

stepped upon that beach

though I don’t know why.

I haven’t slept with her boyfriend,

but maybe one of her friends

has a boyfriend I slept with

without realizing it.

By the time I look again, she’s gone

but I can’t get the expression on her face

out of my head

even if I don’t know what it meant.