~ Paige ~
The beeping wakes me. It’s not loud. Not like those annoying alarm clocks that wake you by morning heart attack. My lids are heavy, gritty, but I peel them up anyway, needing to see where that noise is coming from. Maybe Rome is heating something in the microwave. I hope it’s that yummy chicken noodle soup Colin brought over.
My head is anchored to the pillow. There’s no other way to think of it. It’s a ton weighing my head down, keeping it in place when all it wants to do is bobble. I blink, my eyes an abandoned desert blowing gritty sand. A beam of bright sunlight slashes across the unfamiliar ceiling.
“Thirsty,” I groan. Even my throat is a cracked, dried cavern.
A mechanical whirling. My limp upper body is being angled up.
“Here.”
A plastic cup with a straw is in front of my mouth. I want to slurp it down but only manage a few careful sips.
I blink again, grateful there’s no more scratchy sound when I do. My vision is hazy, but I’d recognize that adorable face anywhere. “Rome.”
“Hey, sis.”
The swallow I attempt is more of an inhale. “Where…”
“Hospital. You were brought in two days ago.”
I hate hospitals. The memories of Mom… just too painful.
Two days. I don’t remember being brought in. The last thing I recall… Colin. Cara. Cherry Pie. And Bob, livid.
As though reading my mind, Rome says, “You have no memory of it, do you?”
Beautiful dark eyes. The flare of terrified panic.
“I was working.”
“At Love’s.” Seeming to need a minute, he pauses. “You had a mild heart attack, Paige.”
Not like Mom then. Hers wasn’t anywhere near mild, and she never woke.
“Colin Kutter, he pulled some strings,” Rome goes on, blindly staring at his hands clasped tightly between his knees as he sits forward on the chair near the bed. “Got some really good doctors to tend to you. When the doctors clear you, one of them will fly out with you and Colin.”
“To Denmark.” The words tumble out of my mouth.
Rome nods. “Colin called me last week, told me about taking you there for treatment, that you were too pigheaded to know what’s good for you. I’ve been trying to get your papers in order, spent days looking for your passport. The last time it was seen was what? Five years ago when we took that train to Canada? I finally found it in your closet in a box full of junk.”
“Not going.”
He looks at me then, and even with my fuzzy eyesight, I can see the torment he’s done hiding.
“You scared me, Paige. You’re all I got. Do you have any idea what was going through my head when I got the call from Cara? That you were being rushed to the hospital. That you’d stopped breathing.” He chokes back, desperately attempting to tame the heartbreaking emotions. “It was like Mom all over again. The worst part is, you’re too petrified to do anything about it. Following Mom’s fate. It’s easier than trying to change it, isn’t it?”
There’s anger, too. He hid it well all this time, but it’s on display now. Center stage.
My throat contracts painfully, my eyes too dry to conjure up any tears. “Need to take care of you.”
A flash of anger. “I’m grown. I don’t need you to take care of me. I need you to take care of you.”
There’s too much agony, a history of helpless grief. Mine. Rome’s. My gaze falls away.
I’m tired. So tired. Strength seeps out of me, draining any resistance. “Where’s Colin?”
“He stepped out to make a call, finalize arrangements. He’s been here, Paige. For two days. So have Cara and Bob. Ahmad, Gus, and Jenny. Some hulks named Scott and Eli. They’ve all stopped by. I think Cara and Bob were competing to see who could flood the hospital with tears. Bob won.”
None of them knew I was sick except Colin, yet I’m touched. A cozy warmth tenderly blankets the heart that refused to give up, settling it nicely in my chest.
“Colin performed CPR. He might’ve saved you.” His exhale is heavy, burdensome. “I called Dad.”
At that quiet admission, my droopy eyes seek out Rome’s. “Why?”
“Thought he should know. I left him a message. Haven’t heard back from him.”
Not a surprise. He wrote us off long ago, couldn’t be bothered with a couple of kids, even if we were his.
I must have dosed off because my next conscious awareness is woozy at best, but I know I’m not alone. It’s darker, with faint shadows of sparse furniture in the still room. Artificial light leaks in through the partially open door. The beeping. That’s still here. It’s telling me my stubborn heart is functioning, that I’m alive. It might’ve had a fright, but it survived.
Maybe there was something to that outrageous cardio Eli tortured me with. The wayward thought has me struggling with a reluctant smile.
It feels good, even if it’s short by a few inches.
“What’s so funny?”
My head rolls toward the voice. It’s not as dense and tight as before.
I’ve never seen Colin disheveled. At the gym, lounging in his home, he was always well put together, his attire precise and spotless. Smooth jaw and smoother man, that’s Colin Kutter. That is, when he’s not wearing Bob’s special dessert.
It might be the dimness, but I imagine the outline on the lower half of his face is boasting a healthy man-scruff. There’s just enough light penetrating from the hallway to make out the finger-combed dark hair, short tufts sticking out at odd places.
Well, that’s not entirely true. When we were naked and rolling around on his bed, his hair was definitely a prisoner to my ferocious fingers.
The mechanical beeping accelerates.
“Eli,” I croak the reply to his question.
“No, it’s Colin.”
My lips succeed in lifting. “Eli funny. Cardio.”
His face is closer, frowning down and visually examining me as though he needs to call for medical assistance. Stat.
Then he’s pulling the chair until it’s facing the bed. Fingers reach out for mine above the sheet, gently clinging to them, tubes and all. “Your doctor said you might be discharged in a few days.”
“That’d be nice.” A deep inhale. My lungs feel sore. “I think I missed Rome’s graduation.”
“I don’t think he cares.”
“He’ll be eighteen next month. An official adult.”
He nods. “You did good, Paige.”
I think I needed to hear that. For someone to confirm it out loud.
“I invited him to Denmark,” Colin continues. “He’ll join us for a few weeks, at the very least.”
“Why?”
“Why?” He jerks a shoulder. “I thought you’d want him there. No school, so he can spare the time.”
I look at him. Really look. “Why are you helping me?”
His head lowers. My hand is lifted, joint limbs pressed against his forehead like he needs them to hold him together. “Isn’t it obvious?”
Whispered words suspended in the darkened room.
“The arrangement.”
The laugh that bleeds out of him is raw. “If you believe that, you haven’t been paying attention. Or I haven’t been very good at showing you.”
Perhaps I haven’t, too focused on doing what needed to be done. “Showing me what?”
“You know what.”
He sounds miserable. If I had the energy, I’d be laughing at his awkward ineptness.
“You care about me,” I supply helpfully.
“Yes, yes,” he latches on to the lifeline. “I care about you. Very much.”
Renewed vigor powers through me. That’s the potent effect Colin has on me. “As much as you care about your attorney?”
The scowl might be hidden from view, but it spreads from his face to the back of my hand. “Don’t start. Deep down, you know that was nothing but business.”
“How would I know that, Colin? You broke off our date. Didn’t give me a reason other than you had to work. Then I found you where we were supposed to be– with another woman.”
A long-suffering mutter that sounds like never going to fucking live that one down. “There were preparations that needed my attention before Denmark,” he explains in a clearer voice. The back of my hand is prickled by his cheek as he slides it down. “I spent the last week tending to them.”
“You could’ve told me.”
“I wanted it to be a surprise. Yes, we’ll be there for our medical treatment, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy our time there, make the most of it. See the sights a bit.”
Our medical treatment. “You have a company to run, remember?”
Earnest gaze meets mine. “And I’ll run it when I need to, but I’ll mostly be on vacation.”
“Is that allowed? I mean, don’t you head up the company?”
He falls silent, his thumb running over the side of my hand. “My mother isn’t too thrilled with me at the moment, not that that’s anything new, but she has it in her head that she can manipulate me into doing what she wants by threatening to take control of Kutter Investments.”
“Why would she do that?”
A rueful sneer. “She wants me to entertain women of her selection.”
“And you refused.”
“You got it.”
“Does she have the authority to do that?”
“Authority? No. Influence? That remains to be seen. Even if she does, it’s not like we’ll starve. I’m no fool. My assets are not all in one basket.” A shoulder shrugs. “In the meantime, I take a prolonged vacation.”
“For how long?”
“However long it takes.”
“You can’t be gone indefinitely.” That’s just not feasible. The thought that he would do this, upend his entire life to take a chance on me, makes my throat tighten painfully with emotions. He has to know. He has to hear it. “Colin, I might not make it. You know that, right?”
“I can get run over by a fucking cab, Paige. None of us know when our time is up. That doesn’t mean we should toss our hands up and give in to questionable fate. What we have…” The intensity of his dark eyes nearly swallows me. “Isn’t it worth fighting for?”
“I just… I don’t want you to be disappointed.” The lump in my throat goes down in a trail of ache. “I’m scared, Colin.”
“Me too,” he murmurs. It must’ve taken all he had to admit it. He stares at me, willing his unflappable determination onto me. “I swear to you, we’ll do this together.”
There’s only one reason why a man would go through all this, put his life on hold indefinitely for a woman. “Because you love me.”
It wasn’t a question. Not even a what-if.
The scowl makes an encore. “Must you insist on throwing that in my face?”
The tickle starts from deep in my belly, bubbling up to my chest and up my throat, replacing the sting of fear and uncertainty. “Colin.” A giggle trickles out. “It’s okay. I know.”
“You think you’re so smart, don’t you?”
I nod, slow and steady. “For sure.”
“If you were so smart, you’d know that you love me too.”
“Hm.” I pretend to give it the serious contemplation it deserves. “Maybe. Since I’m so smart, I’d have to analyze it more. I’ll share my conclusion with you at your brother’s party.”
“You’re not going.”
The glower is contagious. “Why not?”
“I know you, Paige. You’re going to make it your mission to work a compliment out of my mother just to prove a point, and I don’t want you anywhere near that toxin. Especially now. No stress. Your doctor’s order. And mine.”
There’s a challenge if I ever heard one.