THE WOMAN IN THE PETER PAN COLLAR

It is 1953, and my mother stands,

in a calf-length woolen skirt,

red cardigan, white cotton blouse,

smiling down at her blue-blanketed

one-month-old. Behind her lies

a stack of lumber piled on dirt

that will stay dirt four years

before becoming grass, and behind that,

a cement-block foundation

above which rises a roughed-in frame,

the house my father, grandfather,

their friends and neighbors

are building for her, for me.

The sun is bright; she squints

toward the camera, trying to smile,

not knowing how long it will take

to raise a house (that once finished

will be too small too soon) or a son,

who once grown will betray

his immigrant roots to run away

and hardly ever write, forgetting

even the names of relations,

yet who will come to waste his time

obsessively fingering Ektachrome clues

to what once was and what,

once once, can never be again.