A PENNY FOR HER THOUGHTS

She could never

stand up to him,

stare him down,

talk back, talk bad.

He drove her crazy,

and that’s no joke.

But for years

before and after

the drugs

and electroshock,

before she was dragged,

screaming,

from her home,

and after her demure return,

when upset she retired

to her room

above the living room

where no one lived,

until, eventually,

retiring became

her vocation.

And that is how,

grandfather ensconced

in the sunroom

before the tv

eating day-old,

half-price pastries,

their bedroom became hers,

where she sat smoking,

rolling her own

thin cigarettes,

muttering, crocheting,

reading Ellery Queen,

Rex Stout, until she

discovered numismatics.

After that, whenever

angered she’d roll

a cigarette and unroll

pennies, nickels, dimes

to squint at their dates,

their condition,

noting the S

that meant San Francisco,

the D for Denver.

Whatever else she did

up there

we never knew

and never asked.

But often when we visited,

above us we’d hear

the plink and roll

of dropped coins,

the creak of her chair

as she bent

over their magnified

minutia.

When she died,

and grandfather died

soon after, we sold

their home to two

do-it-yourselfers

and soon got a call,

were told we ought perhaps

to come over, take a look

at something.

We went

to find the living

room ceiling partially off,

the floor deep in debris

with here and there

a green penny, a Mercury dime.

No one spoke

until the new owner said,

“There’s a crack

in the floor upstairs,”

then reached up his hammer

to pull off another bit

of plaster and lath,

unleashing as he did

a small storm—tattered

slips of stationery,

matchbook covers,

torn quarter rolls,

all addressed to grandfather,

and each frantic with anger,

with cutting rebuttals,

fierce last words.