SETH WOKE UP the next morning feeling lonesome. Waking the night before with Gabby in his arms had sparked a longing inside him. He was lonely. He wanted a family, yes... But he was starting to feel like a husband and father with Gabby and her boys—and he couldn’t shake the guilt of Bonnie’s worries. Was he proving her right?
So he poured himself into his work that day, trying to sweat out whatever it was he was feeling for Gabby. This hadn’t been the plan—and yet, now that they were here, what was wrong with it? They were married, weren’t they? They could be more to each other, if they wanted to be. It hadn’t started earlier, even if Bonnie wouldn’t have believed that. But he was innocent there, no matter how damning this looked.
He’d been willing to be a husband to his best friend and keep it strictly on a friendship level, but why not deepen that a little bit? He hadn’t wanted his desire to take over, so he’d held back from touching her or cuddling her. But if she wanted the same thing, couldn’t their arrangement grow a little bit? Was desire such a terrible addition to their marriage? She’d kissed him, too, so he knew that she felt this.
He finished up his work an hour early, then headed back to the house. When he kicked the snow off his boots and went inside, he found the kitchen empty. The oven was on, and the smell of roasting chicken filled the house. He took off his coat and boots, then peeked into a couple pots on the stove, finding rice and vegetables.
“Gabs?” he called.
“Upstairs!”
He paused. Was that an invitation to go on up, or was she just letting him know where she was?
He headed up the stairs, but stopped short when he got to the top. The bathroom door was open, and the warm smell of shampoo filled the hallway. He was about to retreat when she emerged from the bathroom, her bathrobe on and a towel wrapped around her head. Her cheeks were flushed, and she shot him a smile. His breath caught. She was just so...womanly. And standing there in his own hallway, he was half afraid to step closer.
“Hi.” She padded barefoot toward her bedroom. “You’re back early.”
“Yeah, I managed to finish everything up already. I skipped lunch, since we had this thing tonight.”
“You’re kind of looking forward to this, aren’t you?” she asked.
“I’m, uh...” He smiled uncomfortably. “I guess I want to make it up to you after last time.”
“That...” She winced. “I may have overreacted there.”
“Yeah?” he asked uncertainly.
“I was just...” She sighed. “I like things the way they are between us. I don’t want to change it! And you know I don’t want to find someone I fall for again, because I don’t trust myself, and I don’t trust the guys I’m attracted to. But it’s a very elemental part of me that longs to feel all those heady, romantic feelings. I don’t trust them a bit, but...” She shrugged. “I know my weakness.”
“You keep telling me I’ll fall in love again,” he said quietly. “I dare say you will, too.”
“No, I have good reason to stay clear of that,” she said with a sad smile.
“No better than mine,” he replied.
“It’s just taking me some time to separate a life with a man from the romance,” she said quietly. “But I’ll get there.”
“You know how ironic it is that we’re trying to do this, right?” he asked. “Most couples are trying to find that romance, not run from it. I mean, that kiss when we were riding—that was us just being us...”
Gabby dropped her gaze. “No, that was me being silly. Seth, you don’t want romance with me!”
“Our kisses are pretty nice, and falling asleep with you, having breakfast with you... I want more of it.”
“But here’s the thing,” she said. “You want more of it until you reach your limit of what you can give, because your heart is already taken. And I’ll want more than you can give, which will make me frustrated, and we’ll start fighting. Or maybe it’ll be the other way around—you’ll want me to be a regular, loving wife, but I come with a whole heap of baggage! I’ve been lied to by every man in my life but you. Every single one! Romantic expectations take a strong friendship and turn it upside down, and I think if we start this, we’ll look back and realize we were better as friends.”
She was right, of course. And there were some relationships that couldn’t be rewound to an earlier, more comfortable state. Their arrangement wasn’t something to be played with.
“Okay,” he said.
“Really okay?” she asked earnestly. Behind her in the bedroom, one of the babies let out a moan in his sleep, and they both looked toward the open door.
“I’ll have to be.” But he smiled to let her know there were no hard feelings. She was right—he wanted the comforts of a wife, but his heart didn’t even feel like it was his to give. And it was hardly fair.
“So, how do you want to do this party, then? You weren’t crazy about my good-husband behavior the other night, so—”
“Let’s just try to act more natural,” she said.
“You aren’t worried about what people will say anymore?” he asked.
“If they want to gossip, they’ll gossip. I can’t control that,” she said. “I think we have something good here—and they’ll never know the details. So if they want to wonder, let them.”
“Yeah, I agree,” he said. “Whatever we make of this marriage, that’s our business.”
She smiled. “So let’s just act like us, then. No playacting for appearances. You okay with that?”
He nodded. “That would be a lot easier.”
But his feelings for her were deepening, and his “natural” still might not be in line with her expectations.
She nodded toward the bathroom. “The shower’s free.” Then she disappeared into her bedroom, her voice filtering out into the hallway. “I’m just going to get dressed.”
Her door shut.
Gabby deserved more than he could offer right now, and it was selfish of him to suggest that she settle for what he could give. At least she could see that clearly, even if he couldn’t always.
THE BABY-AND-WEDDING-COMBINED shower was held at Bea’s place, and when Seth pulled to a stop in front of the house, he could count another four vehicles already there. The driveway and that path leading to Bea’s front door had been shoveled, and he could see a wreath of blue balloons bobbing in the front window. His stomach tightened, and he forced himself to inhale a deep breath.
He looked over at Gabby. She tucked her hair behind her ear, exposing her pale neck.
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “Ted will be there, though. And I’m not ready to talk to him yet.”
“That’s understandable,” he replied.
“I have to eventually, though.”
“You have the right to take your time,” he replied.
She looked at him a little closer. “Are you okay?” Gabby asked.
“Yep.”
“Are you sure? Because you don’t look okay.” She turned toward him. “It’s the baby stuff, isn’t it?”
“We didn’t get ours,” Seth said. “Bonnie’s friends had planned one, and it ended up being on the day they were buried.” There was so much he’d missed—so much Bonnie had missed—and he was getting another chance at family that Bonnie never had.
Tears sparkled in Gabby’s eyes. “Oh... Seth...”
“It’s fine.” He swallowed hard. “Like you said, we’re going to need those gifts for the boys. And these are your friends and family...”
“Do you want to just drop me off?” she asked hesitantly. “You don’t have to do this, you know. I’ll make up some excuse for you. These parties don’t normally have the guy there, anyway.”
He considered it for a moment, then shook his head. “No, I think I do have to do this. I’m their stepdad. I can’t just duck out when it’s hard.”
“For the record, Seth?” She smiled sadly. “You’re one great guy.”
“Yeah, yeah.” But he smiled back. “We’re still just being ourselves tonight, right?”
She nodded. He wasn’t sure what was natural between them anymore, but he’d try to relax a bit.
“Then let’s get in there,” he said, and he pushed open the truck door.
GABBY RANG THE DOORBELL. She could hear people chatting and some excited voices saying, “They’re here! It’s them!” But the door didn’t open. The wind picked up, cold and prying, and Gabby looked back at Seth.
“Maybe just go in?” Seth said. “They’re definitely expecting us.”
“Hello!” she called, as she pushed the door open, and Bea came toward her with a grin on her face and her arms spread in welcome. Gabby’s mother wasn’t far behind.
“Come in, come in!” Bea said, and when Gabby and Seth came inside, there was a spattering of people calling out “Surprise!” and a few others saying, “They know already...” Gabby lifted the car seat and Bea took it from her hands so she could take off her coat and boots.
“They’re here!” Poppy Austin came bouncing toward Bea, then skidded to a stop, her eyes wide. “Is that a baby?”
Bea lowered the car seat so the little girl could look inside. “It sure is. This is...” Bea looked up at Gabby questioningly.
“That’s Andy,” Carol said, and she leaned over to kiss her daughter’s cheek. “You look wonderful, Gabby.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Poppy sidled closer, and Carol took the other two car seats from Seth’s hands, bringing the babies into the warmth of the living room as Seth shut the door against the winter wind.
“Ooh... He’s so cute!” Poppy crooned. “He’s so little...”
“Poppy, let’s give them a bit of space,” Grace said, coming forward to take her daughter’s hand, and she cast Gabby a grin. “Don’t worry about her being catchy or anything. Turns out that tummy bug was nothing more than a stash of jellybeans in her bedroom she’d been eating too many of.”
“Are you serious?” Gabby chuckled.
“It’s better than a full-blown flu,” Grace said, then rolled her eyes. “Welcome to parenthood.”
Carol got Beau unbuckled and out of his car seat, Bea picked up Aiden, and another family friend scooped up Andy. Poppy scampered off to sit next to them so she could hold the baby’s hand.
“Let me hang up your coat.” Seth’s voice was deep and close to Gabby’s ear. She glanced up at him and allowed him to help her off with her jacket.
“Thanks,” she said, and it was then that her gaze landed on Ramona, who stood across the living room with her spine straight and her eyes locked on Gabby with an expression that could only be described as dread. She had stylish gray hair cut in a bob, and her makeup was impeccable. Uncle Ted stood next to her, and he looked uncomfortable at best, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He reached out and took Ramona’s hand, and they intertwined their fingers, but their grip was white-knuckled. Gabby was willing to bet that they’d heard about her conversation with Hank by the way they were acting.
She looked back at Seth, who seemed to have spotted Ted and Ramona at the same time she did.
“You don’t have to talk to them,” Seth reminded her softly.
“I don’t think I can avoid it,” she breathed.
“You want me there?” he asked.
“Um... No, I’ll do it myself,” she said. “But thanks.”
“So this wasn’t a surprise, huh?” Grace said, coming over and giving her a squeeze.
“Actually, Bea told us,” Gabby said. “But it’s okay. I’m running on very little sleep. Everyone jumping out at me might just have given me a heart attack.”
Grace laughed, and Gabby’s gaze slid back toward Uncle Ted... She couldn’t bring herself to call him anything different. She’d have to get this over with. She couldn’t ignore them all evening.
“Let me make the rounds, then I’ll come back for a chat,” Gabby said.
“Deal.” Grace nodded toward the boys. “I’m going to see if I can get a turn holding a baby.”
“With three, your odds aren’t bad!” Gabby laughed.
Seth’s warm hand settled on the small of her back, then he slipped past her and shook hands with Billy. Ted and Ramona hadn’t moved from their spot by the kitchen doorway, and as Gabby approached them, Ted forced a smile onto his face.
“Hey...” he said quietly. “Congratulations. Again.”
“Thank you.” Gabby swallowed, and she looked over at Ramona. “It was nice of you to come.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” Ramona nodded. “Your mother said you needed baby clothes in larger sizes for when the boys grow, so I made sure to get you matching outfits in a few different sizes. I assumed you’d like the boys to match—”
“Yes!” Gabby forced a smile. “I do. I really like that. It’s just hard to afford sometimes, so I really appreciate that.”
Ramona and Ted exchanged a look, and Gabby glanced over her shoulder toward Seth. He was watching her, his warm eyes almost seeming to buoy her up.
“Uncle Ted,” Gabby said. “I know we have a lot to talk about, but I don’t think this is the right place to do it.”
“No, not the right place at all...” Ted let out a breathy laugh, then he sobered. “But I do want to talk. I was thinking that I could come by your place tomorrow morning. If that’s okay, I mean. If you’d be home. I’ll answer all your questions.”
“I have quite a few.”
“I know.” Ted shuffled his feet. “And you’re probably upset.”
“I honestly don’t know what I’m feeling right now,” she admitted. “Confused, mostly, and—”
One of Bea’s granddaughters brought a platter of finger sandwiches over, and Gabby shook her head.
“No, thanks.”
Ted and Ramona did the same, and when they were alone again, Gabby said, “Obviously, we can’t do this here. So, for tonight, let’s just pretend everything is normal for appearances, then.”
Ramona’s expression melted, and tears welled in her eyes. “Thank you, Gabby.”
“No problem.” Gabby’s voice sounded tight in her own ears. “Why don’t you come by around nine, Uncle Ted. Ramona, you could come, too.”
“No,” Ramona replied. “This is between you and Ted. I can give you some space for that.”
It was a kind gesture, and Gabby appreciated it.
“Nine works.” Ted nodded. “I’ll be there.”
His voice softened, and for a split second Ted met her gaze with a look of unrestrained tenderness, but then he cleared his throat.
Gabby didn’t have it in her to comfort Ted and Ramona right now, but at least she’d avoided a confrontation—that was something.
“Can I have everyone’s attention, please?” Bea called out. “Tonight, we’re celebrating Gabby’s triplets—Beau, Andy and Aiden. They’re still pretty small, so we’re asking everyone to please use hand sanitizer before holding the babies. But that’s not the only good news we have to celebrate. For anyone who hasn’t heard yet—and I’m pretty sure gossip has taken care of spreading the news—Gabby and Seth got married!”
There was some clapping and a few whoops.
“Now, they had a private ceremony, so they didn’t get a proper wedding cake. But we wanted to take care of that tonight,” Bea said. “Carol?”
Gabby’s mom handed Beau over to Grace and disappeared into the kitchen. A moment later, she wheeled out a trolley with a two-tiered wedding cake. It wasn’t the biggest cake ever, but it was beautifully decorated with pearls and swirls of white icing. A plastic bride and groom stood on the top, and Carol shot Gabby a misty smile.
Yeah, this would have been her mother’s doing—and while she appreciated what her mom was trying to do, she felt a wave of misgiving. So this was the plan tonight—pretending that Ted was nothing more than a family friend, and that Gabby’s marriage was a legitimate love match. Admittedly, her mother knew about only one lie in this room. She looked across the room to where Seth stood, and he met her gaze evenly.
They’d have to get through this...gracefully, if possible.
“Seth, Gabby?” Carol said, holding up a kitchen knife with a white ribbon tied around the handle. “Let’s cut the cake!”
Seth ambled across the room toward her, and when he got to her side, Gabby slid her hand into his. He gave her fingers a squeeze. This wasn’t for show—this was for support.
“Wait, wait, we need pictures,” Carol said, pulling out her phone. “Seth, you stand behind Gabby...” She arranged them both so that Seth stood behind and they each held the handle of the knife. “There. Now smile!”
Gabby turned toward her mother and put a smile on her face. Carol nodded a couple times. “Got it. Okay, go ahead!”
Gabby swayed toward Seth, her back pressing against his warm chest.
“You’re doing fine,” Seth murmured in her ear. “Let’s just cut the cake. That’s all they want...”
Together, they pressed the knife into the soft cake, and everyone clapped. Seth released the handle, and Gabby set to cutting pieces and setting them onto waiting paper plates.
“Now, Gabby and Seth—you have to have the first bite!” Carol said.
Gabby picked up a plate and fork, then looked over at Seth. “There’s no getting around this, Seth.”
She lifted a forkful of cake to Seth’s lips and he took the bite, his warm gaze meeting hers. He chewed a couple times.
“It’s good,” he said. Then he did the same, feeding her a bite of vanilla cake.
Why was it that with every traditional event they participated in, they felt a little more married?
There was a plastic tapping sound—in the absence of silverware and glasses, people were tapping plastic forks against plastic cups. Gabby looked up at Seth.
There was no getting around another kiss—but what about their promise to just be themselves?
Gabby met Seth’s gaze, and she saw the same misgiving in his eyes. And just then, she heard the cry of one of the babies. She looked over. It was Aiden, and the teenager who was holding him was patting him and jiggling him to no effect.
“Oh, come to Mommy,” Gabby said, hoping her relief didn’t show.
“No kiss?” someone called.
Seth caught her around the waist, leaned down and kissed her cheek. His lips lingered against her skin, his breath warm on her face and the scruff on his chin tickling her. Then he pulled back.
And it was nice. They’d said they’d just be themselves, and that had felt right...for the moment, at least. She smiled, and eased Aiden into her arms. Aiden settled down, his cheek against her shoulder, happy to be in her arms.
“We get a little shy with all the public kissing,” Seth said, raising his voice. “But we really appreciate what you’ve done for us tonight. This is wonderful, and we’re grateful. So thank you for all of this! And if there are any offers for babysitting, we will take that in lieu of wedding gifts!”
Everyone laughed.
“Thank you!” Gabby added. “Let’s enjoy the party!”
They’d managed to avoid a romantic kiss... The relief she’d felt a moment earlier evaporated, and in its place was a deep sadness. It wasn’t that she didn’t like kissing this man. The problem was, she did. But was avoiding displays of affection both publicly and privately what she wanted for the rest of her life? It was one thing to help her in the short term with health insurance, but to stay like this...
Her heart hammered hard in her chest, and she felt tears threaten to rise.
Gabby might choose the wrong men, her heart might steer her wrong every time, but this wasn’t right, either. Because if she had gotten what she truly wanted, Seth would have swept her up in his arms and kissed her senseless.
And then she’d have regretted that, too, because whichever way she looked at it, this marriage wasn’t till death parted them. It was only a temporary arrangement for the sake of the babies. Whatever tricks her heart was playing on her couldn’t be counted on to make a forever solution.