AS JAN STARTED hanging around with us less, Ellen Rossi, this girl Fran knew from junior high, started hanging around with us more. Ellen was on the chubby side, very busty, and not too bright. Fran and Roz liked Ellen, but I wasn’t sure I did. She was one of these types that love to flirt, and the one she seemed to do most of her flirting with was Louie!
I decided the best way to handle this was to get Ellen interested in someone else. The boy I had in mind for her was none other than Lenny Lipoff.
Lenny had been acting particularly difficult ever since the time report cards had come out. Rumors had it that he had gotten a lousy report card and was having a hard time with his parents. Whatever the reason, Lenny was always insulting us girls, calling us names like “little punks,” and making nasty remarks. But the boys liked Lenny, with his wise guy comedian ways, and always wanted him around. So like it or not, we were stuck with him.
After careful thought, I concluded that the best way to deal with Lenny was to get him to mellow a little by having a girlfriend to focus his energies on. I shared these thoughts with Roz and Fran.
“Fixing up Ellen and Lenny is in all of our best interests,” I stated. “She’s a born flirt. Just because she’s got her eye on Louie now doesn’t mean she won’t make a play for Danny or Sheldon. We’ve got to channel her talents somewhere else.”
“And you think Lenny is the place to channel them?” Roz asked doubtfully.
“Why not?” I answered. “Ellen mentioned that she thought Lenny was cute, even though he has a big mouth. And knowing Lenny, he’d just love to be seen with Ellen. She’s big in the places that he would find important.”
“I know,” sighed Fran, eyeing her own small chest sadly. “But do you think it will work?”
“We won’t know unless we try,” I insisted.
We tried to arrange it so that Ellen and Lenny were thrown together as much as possible. The weather was still too cold to be outside for very long. Since the candy store was in our building, we wound up most often at either Danny’s or my apartment. Amazingly enough, my mother let us come to my house pretty often. I guess she figured that we might as well be where she could keep an eye on us. She still had these silly rules like no sitting on beds, but it was better to sit on chairs than to freeze on the corner.
After several afternoons of our encouraging the relationship between Ellen and Lenny, they seemed to be really warming up to one another. The big test, however, would be the party we planned at Danny’s for Saturday night.
* * *
Unfortunately, the party didn’t start out quite the way I had wanted it to. When Danny’s mother let us in, we found Louie engrossed in reading his SAT review book. He didn’t seem to be in much of a partying mood.
This didn’t discourage Ellen. She plopped down next to him.
“What are you studying, Louie?” she squeaked. “That looks fascinating! Can I read with you?”
“Sure!” Louie smiled.
I felt my face growing hot with anger. But that was nothing. Within two minutes, Ellen was running her fingers up Louie’s back!
I couldn’t stand it! I stalked out of Danny’s room. There was a mirror hanging in his hall. I stared into it, trying to calm down.
I felt tapping on my shoulder. Lenny was there, looking as mad as I felt.
“For your sake and mine, Linda,” he warned, “keep Louie away from Ellen!”
“And how do you expect me to do that?” I demanded angrily. “How about if you keep Ellen away from Louie!”
“Okay, okay. Calm down.” He paced back and forth nervously. “We should be working together, not fighting each other. Give me a minute and I’ll think of something.”
“What if you suggest playing a kissing game? You can arrange it so that you wind up with Ellen.”
“Why me? You can suggest one, too,” he said.
“It looks better if the suggestion comes from a boy,” I insisted.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” he agreed. “You go back in the room first. I’ll come in later. That way it won’t look as if we’ve been plotting together.”
“It’s a deal!” Feeling better, I opened the door to Danny’s room. Roz and Sheldon were standing together by the window, his hand on her shoulder. Danny and Fran were sitting on one end of the bed. His arm was around her.
On the other end of the bed sat Ellen and Louie. His review book was discarded and forgotten. Now she was sitting on his lap!
I felt like running back into the hallway. But Lenny stood back there, out of sight of those in the room. “Get in there!” he whispered through clenched teeth. “Remember our plan!”
I stalked into the room. Ignoring everyone, I went straight to Danny’s pile of Mad magazines. I pulled one out, sat down cross-legged on the floor, and pretended to read.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ellen running her fingers through Louie’s hair. I turned the pages furiously!
Lenny finally came in. He flicked the lights off and on to get everyone’s attention. “Let’s liven up this party,” he announced. “How about a game of Flashlight?”
This was a new game for us, so Lenny explained it. Everyone drew numbers and the girls wound up with the boy with the matching number. One couple held a flashlight and moved it around the darkened room. The object was to kiss your partner and stop before the flashlight could shine on you. If you got caught kissing, the boy would have to take the next turn with the flashlight.
Lenny wrote down four numbers for the boys and four for the girls. I picked number three. I looked hopefully at Louie.
“What’s your number, Linda?” he asked.
“Number three. What’s yours?” I blinked nervously.
“I’ve got three, too,” he replied.
“No you don’t, Louie,” Danny protested. “I’ve got number three.” He held it out as proof.
“Oops! I must have misread it!” Louie laughed. “Looks like I’ve got number two!”
“Ooh! That’s my number!” Ellen began jumping up and down.
I gave Lenny a dirty look. He really blew this one! “I’ll take the first turn with the flashlight,” he volunteered. “I’ll try to get them fast,” he whispered to me as he shut off the lights.
Danny and I sat down in a corner. Danny started to put his arm around me. Before he could do anything, I started to talk. “Oh, Danny, it’s awful! Do you see the way Louie is flirting with Ellen? Do you think he likes her?”
“Don’t worry about it, Linda. The way she throws herself at him, there’s not much else he can do. I’m sure he likes you better than Ellen.”
Danny, having said enough, turned his head to kiss me. I sat up fast. “I hope you’re right, Danny. But I’ve got to see for myself.”
I peered through the darkness, trying to see what was happening on the bed. Louie and Ellen were leaning back on some throw pillows. I could make out their arms wrapped around each other. From where I sat, there was no way to tell for sure whether or not they were kissing.
The flashlight switched on. Its beam circled the room and focused on Louie and Ellen. They stayed right where they were, arms entwined.
“Okay! Break it up! I caught you!” Lenny switched on the lights. Louie and Ellen finally sat up.
Lenny walked over and handed Louie the flashlight. “Now you’ve got to work the flashlight, Louie. And give us some time before you switch it on!”
We drew numbers again. This time I really did wind up with Louie. Just my luck! I knew he’d never kiss me while he was working the flashlight.
As we sat on the bed, he put his arm around me. I was hopeful, but he began playing with the flashlight.
“Are you having fun?” I asked him sarcastically.
He didn’t pick up on my meaning. “I guess so. The only problem is that these parties are so immature.”
“Immature? What do you mean?”
“Take these silly kissing games, for example. They’re fine when you’re younger, but at this age, they’re silly. If I want to kiss a girl, I will. But I refuse to do so during a kissing game.” As if to emphasize his point, he flicked the flashlight on and off.
“Oh,” I said. “Well, I agree with you. I don’t like to kiss during silly kissing games, either.” As I said this I crossed my fingers. I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t really telling a lie. After all, I would much rather have Louie kiss me on his own without a kissing game. But at this point, I’d be willing to settle for whatever I could get!
“Let’s see. Where should I focus this flashlight?” Louie started swinging it around the room rapidly. I caught brief glimpses of all the other couples. Everyone had wound up with the right partner this time. From what I could see, they were all enjoying themselves.
Fran and Danny were in my old spot on the floor, and Roz and Sheldon were together on the other end of the bed. Across the room, Lenny was sitting on Dan’s chair with Ellen on his lap. Louie finally focused the light on them. As it flashed in their faces, I could see Ellen pull back from Lenny’s kiss.
“Yuck!” she said loudly enough for me to hear. “Where did you learn to kiss like that?”
Lenny stared at her, then shoved her off his lap. He stood up and turned the lights back on. “I’ve had enough of these kissing games,” he announced. “Have you got anything to eat in this house, Kopler?”
Danny poked his head up from the floor where he and Fran were still entwined. “There’s some ice cream in the freezer. Help yourself.”
Lenny headed for the kitchen. Everyone else decided that they were hungry, too. They followed Lenny in.
I pulled Ellen aside. “I heard what you said to Lenny,” I told her. “If you want him to like you, why in the world did you tell him that he was a lousy kisser?”
“That’s not exactly what I said,” she whined. “He was doing something funny with his tongue. It started to tickle. So I just asked him where he learned to kiss that way. It didn’t necessarily mean that he’s a lousy kisser!”
“Yeah? Well, I also heard you say ‘yuck.’ That’s not exactly a sound of passion, you know.”
“But I really didn’t mean it that way,” she insisted. “I really do like Lenny. He’s cute!”
“I’m glad to hear that, Ellen. For a while I thought that you liked Louie.” I stared at her accusingly.
“Oh, Louie,” she giggled. “He’s cute, too. He’s real cuddly, but I don’t think he likes to play kissing games!”
“Oh?” I replied. “He seemed to be having fun with you from what I saw.”
She just giggled again. But from what she said, I didn’t think he had kissed her, either.
“Why don’t you go into the kitchen and see if you can make up with Lenny?” I suggested. “He looked like he was pretty mad at you.”
“I’m sure I can get him to forget about that.” She smiled confidently.
I walked behind her to the kitchen. She really wiggled when she walked. Big-busted or not, in my opinion, she was fat.
By the time we got to the kitchen, the entire halfgallon of ice cream had already been divided up.
“Boy, what hogs!” I commented. “No consideration for anyone else!”
“Here, Linda. You can have some of mine,” Fran offered.
“And you can share with me, Ellen,” Roz volunteered.
“That’s okay, Roz,” Ellen said. “Lenny has so much. I’m sure he won’t mind sharing with me.” She walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder.
Lenny had helped himself to a huge portion of ice cream. For a moment, he looked as if he was going to shove it in Ellen’s face. I was hoping that he would.
“Please, Lenny,” she purred softly, coming still closer. Lenny swallowed hard. “Well, okay. Just get your own spoon!”
Boy that Ellen had nerve. She grabbed a spoon, plopped down on Lenny’s lap, and began shoveling ice cream into her mouth. She ate way more than he did.
I looked at Ellen in disgust. I could never act the pushy way she did with boys. But then again, it seemed to be paying off for her. For once, even loudmouth Lenny had nothing to say!