JUST WHEN I thought that my problems with boys who liked me as girlfriends while I liked them only as friends were over, Jeremy hit me with a new one. He asked me to go with him to the Manhattan School’s end-of-the-year prom.
“Prom?” I repeated in disbelief. “You—you’re asking me to your prom?”
“Uh-huh.” Jeremy’s face blushed slightly. “There’s no one I’d rather take than you, Linda. And since I know your parents wouldn’t let you come downtown by yourself at night, I’ve fixed it so you can be picked up and brought back home by taxi. That should take care of that problem. So what do you say, Linda? Will you come?”
“I—uh—I—” I fumbled. That familiar uncomfortable feeling clutched at my stomach once again. I had just about gotten to the point where I could face Nicky after what had happened. The last thing I needed was for Jeremy to start making romantic overtures to me again. This time, Jan wasn’t around to get me out of it, either. “I—I’ll have to ask my parents,” I managed to say. At least that way, I was buying some time until I could think of something.
* * *
You can bet that if it was something I was really dying to go to, my parents would have refused to let me go to the prom. But they decided that it would be good for me to attend a prom with “less fortunate children”—a sort of educational experience. So I was back to coming up with my own solution.
My first reaction was to quit the service club so I wouldn’t have to face Jeremy at all. Even though that would disqualify me from the top ten at Huntington, now that I was going to Bronx Technology next year, it really shouldn’t matter.
But it did matter. For one thing, my parents were still disappointed that I was changing schools. If I left Huntington with an honor like being in the top ten, it would make them feel better about me. It would also make me feel better about myself.
And there was still Samantha Milken. She was doing as well in school as I was, and she had kept up with all her clubs. The last thing I wanted to do was to hand my place in the top ten over to Samantha.
No, running away from the service club wasn’t the answer. But what was? I didn’t want to go to the prom with Jeremy. But I didn’t want to turn him down and hurt his feelings either.
I decided to consult with Danny to get a boy’s viewpoint on the matter.
* * *
Danny wasted no time telling me what he thought. Like a true big brother, he sat me down and gave it to me straight.
“Don’t think you’re doing Jeremy a favor by going to the prom with him if you don’t like him as a boyfriend, Linda. Why get the guy’s hopes up only to have him come up with nothing? Neither of you are going to wind up having a good time if you go without really wanting to. And, for all you know, there’s a girl who really wants to go with Jeremy to the prom—someone who really does like him. If you bow out gracefully, you’re giving him the chance to find out.”
“Kind of like what happened with you and Fran?” I said.
“Exactly.” He grinned and tousled my hair. “I’m eternally grateful to you for that one. Although it wouldn’t have been so terrible if it had worked out with you and me either. Maybe it still could!” He gazed into my eyes with longing, just the way he used to.
“Danny!” I shrieked in horror. “Don’t complicate my life even further!”
But then I saw he was laughing at me. I laughed, too. It was great to be able to laugh over something that once was so painful.
* * *
I knew I couldn’t wait much longer to give Jeremy my answer. Not if I wanted to give him time to ask someone else to the prom. So the very next day, I stopped off at the Manhattan School. I found Jeremy where I expected to—working on a painting in the art room.
For a moment I stood there, watching him work. With his straight nose and dark, curly hair, Jeremy really did have a handsome profile. He was goodnatured, kind, and talented, too. In fact, Jeremy would have been absolutely perfect—if only he could see.
The thought made me feel ashamed. Was it just the fact that Jeremy was blind that kept me from liking him as a boyfriend?
I sighed. I really didn’t know how I would feel if things were different and Jeremy could see. I only knew that whatever chemistry was necessary to make my heart go flying the way it had with Louie just wasn’t there with Jeremy.
I guess Jeremy must have heard me, because he turned to me and smiled. “Linda?” he asked hopefully.
“Uh-huh,” I answered. I forced myself to walk into the room. Somehow I managed to get the words out. Something about how I didn’t think I was the right one to go with him to the prom. That I was sure he would find someone else to go who would really appreciate it.
I don’t think it would have mattered what words I had chosen. The hurt in Jeremy’s face would have been there no matter what.
“Sure, I understand,” he said to me. But I could tell he didn’t really.
There was nothing further I could say. With a, “See you, Jeremy,” I turned and fled from the building. I was just glad there were only a few more weeks left of school in which I had to face him.
* * *
That weekend, the temperature climbed. Our crowd decided it was time to attempt a pilgrimage to the ocean. We decided to get together and hit Rockaway Beach.
It was a two-hour subway ride from our neighborhood out to Rockaway. But once you got there, it was worth it. The water was clean, there were waves to jump, and there was an amusement area with games to play.
Wouldn’t you know it, I got stuck sitting next to Lenny Lipoff on the train. If it wasn’t for the fact the ride was so long, I would have gotten up and stood the whole trip. Because Lenny had been especially difficult recently. He and Ellen had broken up again, and he was so nasty to her that she had stopped hanging around with our crowd altogether. He was nasty to me, too, because he was still angry at the way I had treated Nicky.
But I wasn’t going to let Lenny and his big mouth keep me from enjoying this day at the beach. Since I was sitting next to him, I decided to take the opportunity to talk to him and try to straighten things out.
The subway makes a lot of noise. If you want to carry on a conversation, you have to practically shout. Lenny didn’t even bother to make the effort. He sat, beach gear by his feet, reading a sports magazine. He certainly wasn’t making it easy for me to talk to him.
“Lenny!” I finally got up the courage to say.
There was no answer. He probably didn’t hear me.
“Lenny!” I yelled it this time. He looked at me and blinked.
“Lenny, I’d like to talk to you. Could you please listen a minute?”
He put down his magazine and looked at me as if I were a real pain. “What do you want?” he asked irritably.
I took a deep breath. “You know, Lenny,” I began. “Ever since I ended it with Nicky, you’ve been acting as if I’ve got the plague or something. I want you to know that it really bothered me to have to break up with him that way. I just didn’t know how to do it any other way.”
He stared at me with a look of scorn and disbelief. “Yeah, sure,” he said. He picked up his magazine again.
I caught his arm. It had been hard enough for me to start this conversation. He was just going to have to let me finish it!
“Be reasonable, Lenny! I didn’t like Nicky as a boyfriend. It wouldn’t have helped to let it drag on. He would have been hurt even worse that way. Remember how hurt I was over Louie?”
“Well, that should have made you go easier with Nicky. You hurt him even more than that girl he used to like. She just made fun of him and called him Glick!”
“Glick?” I asked, puzzled. Then I understood. “A girl he liked made fun of him by calling him that? So that’s why he gets so angry when someone calls him Glick!”
Lenny looked angry at himself for letting that information slip out. “Yeah,” he admitted reluctantly. “Glick was the name of some creepy character on an old TV show. But I’ll kill you if you tell anyone that. The point still is that Nicky was in pain because of what you did to him.”
“But I didn’t do it to hurt him,” I insisted. “It just had to end!” I sighed. I wasn’t getting through to him. “Look, when you and Ellen broke up, I’m sure you hurt her. She won’t even come around anymore because of all the names you call her.”
“Ellen?” He laughed bitterly. “That was an entirely different situation. We were fighting like crazy before we broke up. She had it coming to her. Nicky is a different story. He was never mean to you. I’m his friend and I saw how hurt he was because of the rotten way you treated him!”
“That’s easy to say from your point of view!” I shouted. “I’m Ellen’s friend, and I saw how hurt she was! Therefore, I should start being nasty to you. If we went on like that, everyone would hate everyone else. We’d have no crowd at all!” I jumped up from my seat and furiously began gathering up my things.
Lenny grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. “Sit down, spitfire!” He laughed. “Did you know your eyes get bigger when you’re angry?” I struggled, but he wouldn’t let me go.
“Will you calm down and listen to me for a minute, Linda? You’re the one who started this conversation!”
I glared at him but stayed in my seat. “Okay,” I said, finally. “Let’s hear your words of wisdom.”
He looked at me and laughed again. I hated to be laughed at. I was on the verge of getting up once more when he grew serious. “You’re right,” he admitted. “In any breakup, someone’s bound to get hurt. It’s unavoidable, no matter how good your intentions are. All these feelings are just part of growing up.”
Lenny smiled and looked straight into my eyes. As he did, his eyes filled with so much emotion and understanding that something connected between us, something that I had never felt with a boy before.
It was as if I suddenly saw him as a person, with all his hopes and hurts. I knew then that the loudmouth Lenny was just a front for a lot of feeling underneath. For that brief moment I knew him. At the same time I felt that he knew me.
The moment passed. I dropped my eyes self-consciously. I heard him laugh.
“I guess you’re not so bad for a punky little girl!”
I glared at him angrily. Then I laughed, too. At least he was saying it now in an affectionate way.
I wondered what it would be like to be Lenny Lipoff’s girlfriend. He had ways about him that would probably drive me crazy. But Lenny had depth, and he could be more fun than anyone else in the crowd. It would be a wonderful feeling to have a boyfriend again. Could Lenny be a possibility?
Any thoughts along these lines about Lenny were quickly eliminated once we got to the beach. Lenny paid absolutely no attention to me. He divided his time between eating an enormous amount of hot dogs, hamburgers, knishes, french fries, and sodas on the boardwalk; playing games at the amusement area; and flirting on the beach with Renee Berkley!
This was the first time Renee had come somewhere with our crowd unaccompanied by Louie. He had to go somewhere with his parents and couldn’t make it to the beach.
It was also her first time to reveal her body in a bathing suit. This really caused a stir with the boys. The tight sweaters she usually wore were bad enough. In a bathing suit, even I had to admit she was dynamite. She wore a one-piece suit that pulled her in at the waistline and pushed her out on top. The boys’ eyes kept focusing on the area where she didn’t quite fit into the suit.
It was disgusting to see the boys hanging around her, devising ways to get close enough to peek down her suit. But as angry as I was, it was nothing compared to the way Fran and Roz were feeling. Dan and Sheldon seemed to forget that they had girlfriends. They hovered around Renee like flies.
Renee was eating it up. She fluttered her made-up lashes and arched her back to show off.
“Aren’t you going into the ocean, Renee?” I asked. “The waves are rough, and it’s fun to jump them.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of going into the water!” She tilted her face to get the best angle of the sun. “I’ll just sit here and work on my tan!”
“Suit yourself,” I shrugged. “Anyone for the water? I’m going in!”
Fran and Roz joined me. As we walked toward the ocean, we heard screams from the blanket. Lenny, Danny, Sheldon, and Norman had grabbed Renee. They were carrying her, struggling, to the water!
“Should we rescue her?” Roz asked.
“No! Let her get what she deserves!” I answered. I put my toe into the water. “The ocean is like ice this early in the season.”
“I hope her precious hairdo is ruined for good!” said Fran.
We watched the boys carrying Renee. They seemed to be trying to hold on to her as long as they could. Renee was laughing and screaming. At last we had the satisfaction of seeing her tossed into the icy waves.
She came up sputtering. “My hair!” she shrieked. She shook her head, sending droplets of water flying all over. “I just washed and blew it dry this morning!”
“Who in the world would wash and blow dry their hair before going to the beach?” I laughed. “Now that Renee’s dripping wet, maybe she won’t look so good to the boys after all.”
“Oh, no?” Roz said with a frown. “Look again!”
I followed her gaze to where Renee was emerging from the ocean. The wetness had made her suit cling even more. It emphasized how well-endowed she was by nature. In comparison, Roz, Fran, and I looked like little children!
Renee wiggled her way back to the blanket. The boys went panting after her. Lenny even ran ahead to bring her a towel. He put his arm around her as he draped the towel around her shoulders. He had this longing look on his face.
The whole scene made me absolutely ill! To think I had even allowed myself to consider liking Lenny Lipoff. I must have been out of my mind!