Chapter Seven

 

 

“Australia!” Max and Connie spoke as one.

Kitty sipped her tea. “Yes, a new start for all of us.”

“B…but why there?” Connie spluttered. “Why go t’other side of the world?”

“Because I think it would be good for us. The children could do very well in a new country. There is a lot of opportunity for them there.”

“With your money you can give t’bairns a fine life here,” argued Max.

“They can do better there, Max. The air is fresh and the days warm. What have they here other than fog, damp, greyness and smoke from a thousand chimneys?”

“You can move out into the country for fresh air.”

Kitty listened as Clara’s and Joe’s laughter filtered in from outside. “I have thought a great deal about this in the last few days. I borrowed books from the library and read a lot information about the colony.”

Max sighed and moved to the doorway. “I’ll tekk the young-uns for a walk t’river.” He peered at Kitty. “This is wrong what you doin’. You’ve got no one over there ter watch out for you like you do here.” After hoisting Rosie high on his shoulders, he marched out.

Kitty heard him call Clara and Joe to him. She gazed at Connie. “I’m sorry.”

“Nay, lass, you must do what you think is right.” Her smile was more like a grimace. “God chose not ter give me an’ Max children an’ it’s been a bitter pill t’swallow. I know its medd me hard.” She shrugged. “I didn’t want ter befriend you, but summat that’s been lyin’ dead inside me came alive the day I met you. “

“Oh, Connie.”

“These last few months have been t’happiest of me life.” Connie sniffed. “It’s been a pleasure carin’ for the young-uns.” Rising from her chair, she placed her teacup, one of Martha’s, in the washing-up bucket and made for the door.

“You’re leaving? I thought we were to play charades later?”

“Er… I’ve summat t’do,” Connie mumbled and walked up the cellar steps.

Throughout the entire exchange, Mary sat on her bed darning one of Martin’s socks. Her pretty face was troubled, her eyes sad. “They have no one but each other and us.”

“I’m going to find the others.” Jolting to her feet, Kitty put on her coat and gloves. She needed time to think. The Spencers’ reaction deflated her. It hadn’t been an easy decision to make, but a fresh start in a new country filled her with excitement.

Outside in the lane, a few neighbouring children lingered. Light snow had fallen again overnight, but it soon turned to slush from the many feet trampling over it. As it was Sunday, the city’s streets were unusually quiet. Heavy clouds overhead threatened more snow and wisely, most people decided to stay indoors where it was warm and dry.

Kitty ambled through the streets gazing at the displays in shop windows. She caught her reflection in the glass and frowned. She didn’t look old, but some days, like today, she felt ancient. Guilt at the hurt she caused the Spencers plagued her. Sometimes, it was too hard being an adult. She realized just how simple her former life had been, where the only decisions she had to make were what clothes to wear each day and what her entertainment would be. She wasn’t equipped to deal with serious issues. Her governess hadn’t taught her how to cope with being homeless, penniless or how to secure her family’s future.

Kitty turned and stepped off the curb to cross the street.

“Get out of the way!” With quick reflexes, the carriage driver wrenched the reins and hauled his horses to a slithering halt, just inches from her. The whites of the horses’ eyes glared, and snorts of steam from their nostrils jetted into the chilled air.

The driver jumped down from his seat and ran to grab hold of the nearest horse’s bridle. “You all right, miss?”

She nodded, stunned.

The carriage door opened. The driver spun to speak to the man who stepped down onto the road. “Everything is fine, sir. A near miss it was, but the young lady is all right. Aren’t you, miss?”

Kitty stared into the beautiful blue eyes of Mr Kingsley. She put her hands to her cheeks and felt them grow hot even through her gloves. “It…it was my fault entirely. I…I wasn’t…I didn’t see…” She gulped. “I…I wasn’t thinking straight.”

He took her elbow. “Are you certain you’re all right, Miss McKenzie?”

“You remembered my name.” Kitty blushed deeper for sounding like a fool. What is the matter with me?

He smiled. “Yes, I remember your name.”

She gazed at him for some moments before Kingsley steered her towards the carriage. “I also remember where you live and I think you should be taken home for a nip of brandy or something. You’re trembling.”

Kingsley spoke with the assurance of the gentry and Kitty was in no state to argue her independence at that moment, but she wanted to laugh at his mention of brandy, as if she’d have such a thing! She allowed him to guide her to the carriage and once seated, he gently tucked a blanket around her. He took a great liberty again, but she said nothing because being so close to him made it impossible for speech. She didn’t think she could continue being near him if it meant this wild beating of her heart. Surely it wasn’t normal?

In the short journey back to the lane, she wrangled with her new emotions. His presence disturbed her senses. From where he sat opposite, his long legs nearly touched hers. Her skin tingled at his closeness. Kingsley’s smiling glances made her catch her breath. Although he didn’t speak, she flattered herself in thinking he was taking an interest in her. She glanced at her dress and in dismay, observed it had a small stain on it. Mortified, she covered it with her hands and hoped he hadn’t noticed.

Outside the cellar’s little window, Kingsley helped her from the carriage. She expected him to leave her, but he walked with her down to the door. His chivalry made her tingle with pleasure.

Mary jumped up as they entered. “Oh, good afternoon, Mr Kingsley.” She looked to Kitty for explanation.

“It is nice to meet you again, Miss Mary. Your sister suffered a mishap and I brought her home.”

Mary glanced from him to Kitty and back. “Will you stay for a cup of tea, sir?”

“Yes, yes I will, thank you.” Kingsley sat at the table, tucking in his legs so as not to trip Mary as she went back and forth from the fire to the table. “Are you feeling better, Miss McKenzie?”

“I am, thank you.” His company thrilled and unnerved her. His cornflower-blue eyes took in everything and she stifled the desire to tidy her hair. She glimpsed him from under her lashes as he smiled at Mary when she gave him his teacup. His strong jaw and straight nose seemed carved straight from some statue of a Greek god. Her heart thumped uncomfortably and her mouth went dry.

Mesmerized, she watched Kingsley move his long, slim fingers to add sugar to his cup and then stirred it with a teaspoon. He raised the cup to his well-shaped mouth and sipped. Over the rim, he stared back at her. Kitty blushed furiously and glanced away.

From the table, he picked up one of the books about the early exploration of Australia. “Are you reading this?” He opened the book.

“Yes. I’m gathering as much information about the country as I can.”

“Are you?” He seemed bemused.

“Yes, we are considering moving there.”

His eyes widened. “An interesting coincidence. I am too. I plan to leave next month to spend a year or so there.”

Her stomach flipped. She lowered her head to hide her delight. “I’m planning to emigrate. My family and I wish to build a new life there. Have you been before?”

“No, I haven’t. But my father has and he desires me to start an import and export business there. He says it is an exciting place, although very hot in the summer.”

They talked for over an hour about their plans and what they wished to achieve for the future. She sat enraptured as he spoke, watching his expressions and mannerisms, while Mary supplied them with more tea.

The arrival of the children and Max interrupted their conversation. Instantly, their rapport was gone, replaced by rushing children full of stories of what they’d seen. Kitty calmed them down, reminding them of their manners. She also introduced Kingsley to Max and the two men shook hands. Kingsley didn’t play the high and mighty gentleman, pleasing Kitty immensely. It was becoming clear to her Benjamin Kingsley was no ordinary man and she liked that very much.

 

 

* * * *

 

 

“I hate this chore,” Mary mumbled, scrubbing the clothes with soap. “I know it’s hard,” Kitty soothed, ignoring the sight of her own red, rough hands.

“Can we not pay someone to do it?”

“No. The money is needed for more important things. We’re capable of washing clothes.”

Mary straightened her back and looked at her. “Are you sure going to Australia is the right thing to do?”

Kitty stopped squeezing water out of one of Clara’s dresses. “You don’t agree?”

Mary shrugged. “I’ll go wherever you go, you know that.”

“But you don’t want to go to Australia?”

“I…I just want you to be really sure that is all.”

“I think it’ll give us more opportunities to do well, more than York has to offer.”

“But you don’t know that for certain.” Mary dunked the clothes back into the water. “Australia is so far away.”

A knock at the door halted their discussion. Kitty opened it, revealing Mr Kingsley’s carriage driver standing on the steps. Her stomach flipped at the thought of seeing Kingsley again. She looked beyond the driver for a glimpse of him.

“Good morning to you, Miss I have a note here for you from Mr Kingsley.” He passed her the folded paper. “I’ll wait for your answer outside, Miss.”

Closing the door with her elbow, Kitty opened the note.

 

Dear Miss McKenzie,

On investigation of the library at my family home, I have discovered a small amount of books containing information about the colony of Australia. I believe they may be of use to you. I gladly make the offer for you to peruse them.

I therefore extend an invitation for you to visit my home at your convenience.

Please advise my driver as to a time and day. He will be at your disposal.

Your humble servant, Benjamin Kingsley.

“What does the note say?” Mary came to Kitty’s side.

“It is an invitation to Mr Kingsley’s home.”

“Oh, how exciting! When are you to go?”

Sharp disillusionment pierced her heart. “I’m not.”

“Why?” Mary frowned.

“Because the invitation is for the use of his family’s library that is all. There is no mention of Mr Kingsley even being there. He said I can go at my convenience and his driver will transport me. I’ve no wish to visit his library.”

She bit her lip, trying to deny the mixed feelings the note produced. It scared her to think she wanted more than just books from Kingsley.

What good would that achieve?

His offer of books only showed his generous spirit, but it also told her that he didn’t want to improve on their acquaintance. Dejection welled up inside her.

“It was nice of him.” Mary smiled, going back to the washing.

“Yes…”

Mary paused. “What is it? You don’t think it charitable?”

“Of course, but…”

Frowning, Mary walked back to her. “But what?”

“Nothing, I was being silly.” She tossed her head, hating the feeling of rejection. It was ridiculous to make an issue of it, but she couldn’t stop wishing the invitation had been more personal.

Mary’s eyes widened. “You expected a different type of invitation, didn’t you?”

“What is wrong with that?” She huffed. “Anyway, it does not matter. Mr Kingsley has made it plain that the invitation is for books only.” After placing the note on the table, Kitty went to find the driver.

He was wiping the carriage over with a polishing rag. “Yes, Miss?”

She swallowed her disappointment and summoned a smile. “Could you convey to Mr Kingsley that I thank him for his offer, but regretfully I decline it.” She returned indoors to her washing.

 

 

* * * *

 

 

An hour later, Benjamin strode to the stables. His carriage driver, Jenkins, rubbed down one of the many horses stabled at Kingsley Manor. “Did you deliver my note, Jenkins?”

“Yes sir, I did. I came looking for you but Mrs Kingsley said you weren’t to be disturbed.”

“Was there a reply?”

“Yes, sir. The young miss said thank you for your invitation but she wouldn’t be accepting.”

Benjamin tapped his fingernails on the stable door. “Are you sure she said exactly that?”

“Yes, sir.”

Disappointed, he mumbled his thanks and turned away. “Er…sir?”

Benjamin paused. “Yes?”

“The young lass seemed a little upset when she gave me her message.”

Benjamin’s frown deepened. Walking back to the house, he wondered what could’ve upset her. Was she ill? Her siblings injured? Should he go there and inquire? He shook his head and swore. No, he couldn’t just turn up for no reason.

He kicked at the pebbled path leading from the stables. There was something about Kitty McKenzie that kept him awake at night. Her enchanting green eyes and copper hair made him ache with need. She intrigued him until he could think of nothing else. Despite her living arrangements, he knew she was of a quality much superior to the young women his mother presented and paraded in front him. Half of them were too stupid to know what day it was and the other half would eat him alive. He’d jumped at the chance to go to the other side of the world as a respite from his mother and Miss McKenzie’s similar plans had only increased his enthusiasm.

He chewed his thumbnail. His invitation had failed. Why? Her refusal astounded him. Did she want nothing more to do with him? Had he imagined that she enjoyed his company?

Did I imagine she felt the same stirrings as me?

 

 

* * * *

 

 

Kitty sat by the fire sewing a tear in one of Joe’s shirts while Rose played at her feet. The door opened and a cold draught blew in as Connie and Mary entered.

“My god, it’s freezin’ out there. I ain’t goin’ out again today,” Connie grumbled, taking off her coat. “Ruddy snow. I’m sick of it.”

“Did Joe and Clara get to school all right?” Kitty asked.

“Aye, they did.” Connie shook the kettle to see if there was enough water in it for a brew.

Mary put her packages on the table and held her hands out to the fire. “The shopkeepers say some of the roads out of town are completely impassable.”

“Talkin’ of shopkeepers,” nodded Connie, “I were talkin’ t’old Mr Lawson an’ he said he’s given notice on his shop. ‘Tis a shame when likes of him close down.” From a small paper bag, she gave Rosie a piece of Harrogate Toffee.

“Is that the cobbler’s in Petergate?” Kitty held Joe’s shirt up in front of her so she could examine her work.

“Aye. He said he’s off t’New Zealand t’live with his son now he’s lost his Shirley. She died two months ago. He said his son is all he has left. So, he’s off next week. Seems as though everyone is off t’other side of the world.” Connie raised her eyebrows at Kitty.

Kitty’s hands lay idle as last night’s conversation with Martin came to mind. He told her he wouldn’t go with her to Australia. Instead, he preferred to stay with the Spencers. She spent most of the night arguing with him to change his mind but he refused. He said he enjoyed his job, such as it was, and soon there might be a chance of becoming a hired hand on the boats traveling up and down the country. Martin thought it awful to leave Connie and Max after all they had done for the family.

It played heavily on her mind that her family was splitting up again. She had taken it for granted Martin would accompany them. It’d be easier to travel and set up a new home having a young man with them. Could she still do it without him? She was strong and wasn’t a fool, but was she making the right decision? Could she leave Martin and the Spencers behind? Maybe she ought to make a better life here in York? And what of Rory? He might come looking for them. The thoughts whirled around in her head. The colony would be a wonderful opportunity to begin again but at what cost?

“Kitty!” Mary stood in front of her. “Kitty, I have asked you twice if you wanted something to drink.”

“Oh, sorry. Yes, yes I would, thank you.” Rising, she put away Joe’s shirt.

“You know if I had money I’d open a shop,” Connie said, wiping Rosie’s sticky face with a damp towel and promptly giving the child a pear drop boiled sweet.

“What kind of shop?” Mary asked, scooping tea leaves into the teapot. “Oh, I don’t know really.” Connie chuckled. “Perhaps a sweets shop?”

Slowly, Kitty turned to her, tilting her head in consideration.

 

Long after the others had gone to sleep, Kitty sat staring into the fire.

Martin crept over to sit beside her. His handsome young face wore a worried frown.

“Are you all right?” she asked softly.

“I’m sorry if I’ve let you down.”

“No, you haven’t. I was surprised that is all. I think I count on you too much.” She smiled at him.

“I don’t mind you needing me, not at all. I just feel going to Australia is not the answer. I wish you’d change your mind for I’ll miss you all dreadfully.”

Kitty sighed and patted his knee. “I’m not at all sure going to Australia is the right thing to do either, but I feel the need to do something, something worthwhile. Sitting around darning socks all day and keeping house is not my idea of living, nor is working in some grotty factory. I thought starting a new life in a new country with new people would be a…challenge.”

Martin grimaced. “Maybe we’re not as brave as you?”

“Nonsense!”

“You can do something here in York without having to go away. I know the money must be spent wisely, but for a start, we can move out of this cellar. We could easily afford to live in better rooms. That would make everyone happy.”

“Yes, true. Only, I would still be just a housekeeper and carer. I’m ashamed of myself for wanting more.”

“We all want more, Kitty.” He shrugged. “I want my own boat. I doubt I ever will, but dreams don’t hurt.”

“A boat?”

“I like being on the water.”

For the first time she saw him, not as her little brother but as a fine young man. “When did you become so wise?”

He grinned.

“I couldn’t have wished for a better brother.”

Martin hugged her. “I feel the same way about you.”

Shortly, he went back to bed, leaving her staring into the fire. The pressure to not go to the other side of the world was mounting up. She wasn’t immune to the sense of loss they’d all feel leaving the Spencers, Martin and Rory behind. Could she do it? Could she really sail away from them and not see them again for years? Was she strong enough?