20

Morgan walked away from the Taggart home, doing his best not to think. He knew it was cowardice, but right now he didn’t think he could handle his own thoughts. How in the world did a man praise God after he’d been broken and laid down? Morgan could not even imagine, but that was exactly what he’d witnessed. Determined to apologize for not coming sooner, Morgan had gone to see Kevin to cheer up the bedridden man, but it hadn’t gone anything like the way he planned.

“There was no warning,” Kevin had told him. “One moment I was in the saddle, and the next instant we were falling. It must have been a deep hole. I’m surprised my horse didn’t break a leg, but I was in too much pain to really analyze what was happening.” At that point a peaceful smile had come over Kevin’s face.

“Not that it really matters,” he went on softly. “I’m alive, and we’re praying every day for my recovery.”

Such talk always made Morgan uncomfortable. Praying was the pastor’s job. But Kevin wasn’t through.

“But I’ll tell you, Morgan,” he said, the smile still in place, “if I never get out of this bed I’ll still praise God because that would be His plan for me.”

Morgan had sat thunderstruck, rescued only when Milly had offered him coffee. It tasted like bitter water in his mouth, but it gave him something to do with his hands and eyes. He drank every drop, and not long after he’d finished the cup, he’d taken his leave.

On his walk home, he moved very slowly. He hadn’t thought about what he and Addy had talked about for weeks, but now it came to mind. He had listened to every word of Pastor Munroe’s sermons, just as she’d urged him to do, but he still didn’t like what he heard. Addy had told him not to harden his heart, and the words had been good. Morgan could see that hardening his heart was exactly what he was doing. He was doing it now. Walking away from Kevin Taggart, Morgan pushed all thoughts of God from his mind. He arrived home in a frightful mood, but no one in his family made comment.

Jackie held in the huge sigh that threatened to escape her and walked up the steps of the schoolhouse for the start of the new year. It was difficult to have shared a room with Eddie for all those years because it caused her to think of herself as older, when in fact she had two more years of school to go. Eddie was the lucky one. Her birthday had fallen right before the school year began, so when she turned 18 she was finished. Jackie wouldn’t be 17 until January, which meant that even though she turned 18 in the middle of the following year, she would still need to attend. It was almost more than the 16-year-old could take.

At least the teacher was still Miss Bradley. Rumor in town had been that she was moving to Denver and would not be back, but she was there at the front of the room, looking much the same. Jackie had not enjoyed the punishment she’d received late in the last school year, but she had to admit that the woman was fair. Her praise was as noteworthy as her discipline.

Being in school also reminded her of Clayton and the loss of his dream. Jackie had cried buckets over this. Clayton had not. He had told her very calmly that this was the way it needed to be right now, and someday God would provide another way. Jackie had felt devastated for him nonetheless. She couldn’t understand her own heart. First she was crushed that he was leaving at all, and now she was upset that he couldn’t go. She’d finally gone to her mother and been surprised speechless by what she said.

“That’s what true love is all about, Jackie. We put aside our feelings and wants to see to another’s needs or happiness.”

Jackie could not get the words out of her mind. True love. Is that what she felt for Clayton? Is that why she was so tongue-tied and felt so foolish around him? Her heart did the funniest things when he was near, and she was never hungry afterward. Was it love? Jackie could see that she had much to think about.

“I want you to be thinking about what you will write,” Miss Bradley’s voice cut across her thoughts. “And I will expect you to do your best. It can be any subject, but it must be thorough. The paper is due at the end of the month, September 30, three-and-a-half weeks from today. Yes, Padriac?”

“Can we work with a partner?”

“Not this time. I want you to do this on your own. Now, go get your math books and let’s begin on page 6.”

Jackie did sigh this time, but also reminded herself she had better start listening. She had a paper due on the last day of the month, and she wasn’t even sure what was expected. She opened her math book to page 6 and told herself to get in line.

“A grizzly?” The little girl’s eyes widened.

“Yep.”

“How big was it?” Sammy asked.

“Big,” Clayton told her and shook his head. “Ugly too, with a turned-up nose and a bunch of fur missing off his back.”

“Maybe it was a she.”

“Maybe,” Clayton agreed and tweaked the end of her nose.

Jackie looked on. She wanted to be so light and carefree around Clayton, just like Sammy was, but she had decided that she was in love with him and now had even less to say than before.

Sammy and Clayton talked on about the bear some more, and then Clayton moved away. They were at a birthday party for old Mrs. Greeley. She was a regular customer at the store, and the whole Fontaine family had been invited. Elaine, Clayton, and Milly were there because Milly had taken piano lessons from Mrs. Greeley.

Jackie began to wander some herself. The party was being held in the elderly lady’s house and backyard, but Jackie moved to the front. She had decided to do her school report on wildflowers, and Mrs. Greeley’s fenced-in front yard was full of them. Jackie moved among the different blooms, touching one here and smelling one there.

She wished she had paper along to take a few notes, but maybe she could come back and do that later. She was kneeling on the grass to look at an interesting species when she heard footsteps. Jackie looked up to see Paddy approaching, a grin on his face.

“Now, don’t be telling me you’re working on your report on a Sunday.”

Jackie smiled in return; he was always so fun. “Well, Mrs. Greeley does have some perfect blooms, and since I was here …” The young woman shrugged.

Paddy sank down onto the grass. “I’ll put mine off until the night before it’s due and then write like mad ’til I’m done.”

“Why, Paddy? Why not work a little at a time?”

“Because I’ve no interest in horses.”

“Then why did you choose that subject?”

Paddy shrugged. “My mother has a book on horses, and it just seemed convenient.”

Jackie shook her head. “You should have chosen something you’re interested in.”

“My mother doesn’t have any books on mines.”

Jackie’s mouth swung wide open. “Paddy! You don’t need books. Your father’s a surveyor, and you could get him to take you to a mine. Who needs books when you have all of that?”

Paddy stared at her as if he’d just seen a ghost. “Jackie, darlin’, you’re an angel.” He breathed the words and stood. He felt so good that he even bent low and dropped a kiss onto her cheek. Jackie only laughed as he then shouted with glee and ran to find his father in the back. It would have been a wonderful scene if Jackie hadn’t looked up and spotted Clayton coming her way. Had he seen the kiss? Would he think that she was interested in Paddy?

“What are you up to?” Clayton was beside her now, dropping onto the grass much the way Paddy had done.

“Oh, just looking at the wildflowers.”

“Milly told me about your report.”

“She did?”

“Sure. She said Miss Bradley looked quite impressed. Most of the class is doing an animal of some sort, and she thought the teacher must think wildflowers would be a nice change.”

Jackie nodded but couldn’t speak. Why was she so talkative with Paddy but utterly mute with Clayton?

“So tell me what all of these are.” Clayton indicated the flowers around them.

“I’m certain you must know them all, Clayton.”

“Well, tell me anyhow. It’ll give you good practice.”

“You’re such a pest,” she told him to cover her feelings, but she did as he asked.

“This is Indian paintbrush, and this pink one is mountain holly-hock. Behind you is western coneflower and then blazing star.”

“What about this one?” Clayton pointed to a flower colored in deep pink with numerous yellow stamens in the center. It was lovely to the eyes and had a small, delicate, light green leaf. Jackie reached for it and smiled.

“This is a wild rose. It’s my favorite.” She held it to her nose. “I love the fragrance.” She let Clayton smell it, and he smiled as well.

With his eye on her face, he said, “Paddy’s coming back. Would you like to be alone with him?”

Jackie’s eyes flew to his. She blushed to a color that rivaled the Indian paintbrush. Clayton took that as a yes and rose. He smiled at Paddy on his way by but said nothing else to Jackie. She was glad that she’d been a help to Paddy, and even that he’d come back to tell her that his father was going to help, but more than anything, she wanted to call Clayton back and tell him he had it all wrong.

Kevin’s chest heaved from the exertion, but the sense of triumph he always felt was well worth it. This was the fifth time he’d sat in a chair, and the tingling he felt in his feet made him want to shout with joy. However, this was a solemn occasion. His wife knew what he was going to say, but Clayton and Milly had no idea. He took a deep breath and began.

“Your mother and I have been in touch with your grandmother in Denver. We’ve all done a lot of praying and thinking, and I’ve decided to take a job that she has offered me in the office at the mill.”

Clayton and Milly stared at him and then at their mother.

“You mean move to Denver?” Milly whispered after a painful moment of silence.

“Yes,” her father said gently.

“Why, Dad?” Clayton managed. “Why leave Georgetown? You and Mom love it here.”

“Yes, we do, Clay, but your mother and I want you to get to school, and we can’t wait too long or the snows are going to be upon us. It’s the ninth of October, and I can’t believe we’re not snowed in already.”

“You can’t do this, Dad!” Clayton burst out, all calmness deserting him. “You love it here in the mountains, and I won’t let you give it all up for me.”

Kevin waited for this outburst to die down and then said, “I talked to young Doc Edwardson just this morning. He told me I would never sit in the saddle again. If I thought there was a chance, I’d stick it out, Clay, but I know in my heart he’s right. I never thought I’d be happy behind a desk, but I’m so thrilled to be sitting in a chair right now that I’ll take what I can get to support my family. And that is what I’m talking about, Clay,” he added almost sternly. “It’s my job to take care of this family, and any way I can do that, I will.”

The room fell very silent now. Milly could hear the pounding of blood in her ears. Leave Georgetown? Leave Danny and Paddy? What would she do? She had no desire to live in Denver. Why, God, why did this happen to Dad? Why must he suffer this way? She began to cry. She told herself not to, but she couldn’t hold back the tears. Elaine went to her.

“It’s all right, Milly. I’ve cried too, and I know I’m going to cry again.”

“So it’s really all set?” she sobbed. “We’re really going to go?”

“Yes, dear. We leave next week.”

Milly cried against her mother’s shoulder, feeling like her heart would break. Clayton didn’t feel any better himself, but his father was saying something and he tried to attend.

“Clay, did you hear me?”

“No, I’m sorry, Dad, I didn’t.”

“You can go to school, son.”

Clay nodded, but there was no joy in it.

“You don’t understand,” Kevin went on. “Your grandmother checked it out. You can start as soon as you arrive. Attendance was down this year, and they’ll take anyone they can get. Or if you’d rather wait until the term break, you can start in January.”

Clayton blinked at his father. That was good news, but not at the expense of this family.

“You’re schooling is a factor, Clay, but it’s not the only reason. Can you see that?”

“I’m trying, Dad, but it’s just not working. I think the main reason you’re doing this is because I went back to work.”

“Exactly!” Kevin said triumphantly.

Clayton could only shake his head. “But you just said—”

“I just said the schooling is not the reason, but your supporting this family is.”

Clayton only looked at him.

“Clay,” Kevin said patiently. “If I had died, then I would expect you to stay here and take care of Milly and your mother, but I’m not dead. I’m not even an invalid. I can work. I can’t do the work I’ve always done, but I can make a living, and that’s what I’m going to do.” He paused for a moment, a strange light coming into his eyes. “You know, Clay, I nearly forgot that your nineteenth birthday is three weeks away. You can do what you wish, but Milly, your mother, and I are moving to Denver. If you want to join us, you’re more than welcome.”

Clayton had to smile at this new tactic. He now understood. Kevin smiled in return.

“What day do we go?”

“Next Friday, the sixteenth.”

“All right,” Clay told him. He looked to Milly. She was still visibly shaken but holding on. Kevin asked everyone to pray with him, and they all bowed their heads.

“This is no mistake,” he told his heavenly Father. “We’re all going to hurt, Lord, but You are here with us, and we know this is all a part of Your plan. Thank You for Your sovereignty and loving hand. Help us to trust you when we are tempted to fret. Surround us, especially Clay and Milly, with your grace. Make our peace greater than our pain, so that our lives may glorify You as never before.”

God touched Clayton’s and Milly’s hearts in a special way during their father’s prayer. They knew that they would hurt, but the move was for the best. Milly was able to hug and kiss her parents good-night with a genuine smile on her face.

Clayton, equally serene, went off to bed with plans running through his mind. They would have to work hard to be able to move in a week, but the snow would not allow them any more time. The temperatures were already dropping fast. Clayton was nearly asleep when he remembered Jackie. He would have to seek her out in the morning and tell her himself. Somehow he knew she would be hurt if she found out secondhand. He told himself he’d take care of it right after breakfast in the morning. She was heavy on his heart until he fell asleep.