36

Jackie was alone in the study working over the writing table when Clayton arrived on Friday, and because she was concentrating on moving her hands over the poetry book, she didn’t hear him come in. The sound of his voice caused her to jump.

“Hello.”

“Oh, Clay, it’s you,” she said on a gasp.

“Yes. You look like you’re very busy.”

“Well,” she faltered, her hands fluttering in embarrassment. “You left the books here, and I thought it would be—”

“Don’t apologize. I’m glad you’re enjoying them.”

“Um, well, I mean ….” She was suddenly tongue-tied. “I know Robert talked to you and all, but if you don’t have time to come, Clay, I’ll understand.” She finished rather lamely, wishing she hadn’t brought the subject up at all.

He didn’t reply right away. She listened as he brought a chair up to the other side of her writing table. He didn’t touch her, but she could tell he was very close.

“I have plenty of time for this, Jackie,” he said gently, when he’d settled across from her. “And if I didn’t have time, I’d make some.”

His voice was so warm that she blushed from the chin up. Clayton watched in amazement. She was like the Jackie from months ago, before the letters they had shared, the one who was so shy around him that she could barely form two sentences.

“Oh, well, all right. If you’re certain.”

“I am.”

“Oh,” Jackie said before Clayton could suggest they begin. “There’s one other thing, Clay. I’m sorry about the hard time I’ve given you here, and well, about the letter from a long time ago. I’m… well… I’m sorry I lied. I made Lexa write it. I’ve asked Eddie to write to her and apologize for me.”

Clayton’s whole body vibrated with the pounding of his heart. Robert had told him about her decision, but to see it up close was an awesome thing. Very carefully, so as not to frighten her, Clayton placed his hand over the top of hers. In so doing, he watched Jackie take a huge breath, and in that instant also learned that she hadn’t begun to understand the intensity of his feelings.

“Thank you, Jackie,” he managed after a moment. “I assure you it’s all behind us. All right?”

“Yes.”

“Shall we start?”

She nodded, and he asked her to read to him. He hadn’t translated the page she was on, but the poem flowed so beautifully that he knew she had read every word. From there they moved to her writing. She could not see how his suggestion would work, but Clayton had wanted her to give it a try.

“Okay,” he said as he bent over her shoulder. “Feel the paper on the table. That’s the one you write on. The other piece of paper is set over it.”

Jackie sat quietly and felt with her hands.

“Now, just move slowly. Begin to write, using the top paper as your line, and when you get to the edge and want to begin a new line, move the top paper sightly downward.”

“How will I know how far?”

“I’ll tell you until you get the feel of it.”

“What should I write?”

Clayton thought fast. “Wildflowers. Give me a paragraph on Colorado wildflowers.”

“All right.”

It was painful going, but Jackie did her best, the pencil feeling foreign in her hand after so long a time. None of her i’s were dotted in the right place, and the t’s were crossed in rather odd spots, but other than that it wasn’t bad. Letters like g or y that went below the line of the other paper were cut off, but her attempt was still legible.

“Let me see.” Clayton asked for the paper, and Jackie was very aware of the way he stood at her shoulder. “Good; very good. You’ll have to dot your i’s and cross your t’s as you go, but it looks good. How did it feel?”

“A little strange. I wish I could feel the words.”

“You’ll be able to,” Clayton told her. “After you get this down, I’m going to teach you to take notes. You’ll dot out the words when someone speaks or you want to make a list and later be able to read it back to yourself. It won’t mean anything to someone who can’t read Braille, but it’s handy for your own information.

“Now,” Clayton said as he moved away from her. “I think you’re doing well in all your subjects, so why don’t you tell me what you’d like to work on today.”

Jackie bit her lip. She knew what she wanted but was a little afraid to ask.

“No ideas?” Clayton prompted.

“Well,” she began, but didn’t go on.

“I’ll make some suggestions, shall I? We could go over math facts or work on the writing some more. You could memorize a poem from the book and recite it to me. We haven’t done much with geography, so I could get out a map. I could read to you or—”

“That one,” Jackie cut in.

“Read to you?”

Jackie nodded, and Clayton noticed that she was almost tense.

“Did you have something in mind?”

Again she bit her lip, and this time Clayton waited. Silence.

“What is it, Jackie?”

“Clayton, could you read the Bible to me?”

Her voice was so hesitant, her look almost fearful. Clayton’s heart broke.

“I’d love to,” he told her truthfully. “Just let me borrow a copy from Eddie.”

“You’re going to, Clay?” she whispered before he could leave. “You’re really going to read to me?”

“Sure.”

The smile that lit Jackie’s face was the first Clayton had seen from her in more than a year. It did funny things in the region of his chest. He moved toward the door, but ran into the doorpost because he was staring behind him, watching her. Eddie, who was headed that way, laughed when she witnessed it.

“Are you in a hurry?” Eddie asked, noticing that he looked a little dazed.

“She smiled,” he said, his voice bemused. “I saw her smile.”

Eddie’s gaze became very tender. If Jackie could see him now, she’d know in an instant how much he still loved her.

“Are you taking a break?” she asked.

“No. She wants me to read to her. May I borrow a Bible?”

Eddie walked back into the study with him and showed him the one Robert kept in his desk. “He does his Bible study here,” Eddie explained.

“Hi, Eddie.”

“Hi, yourself. How are things going?”

“Good. I wrote a paper.”

“You wrote a paper?” Eddie sounded uncertain.

“Well, just a paragraph really.” Jackie’s hand searched the desk and found the sheets. “It’s one of these.”

“Wow,” Eddie managed. “You did great. You’ll have to dot youri’s and cross your t’s as you go, but this is wonderful.”

Jackie smiled at how closely she’d echoed Clayton.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

“Are you going into town today, Eddie?” Jackie suddenly asked. In a flash Eddie realized how long it had been since she’d taken Jackie along.

“I was, but why don’t I wait until tomorrow,” Eddie suggested. “Then you could go with me.”

“All right.” Jackie didn’t smile this time, but she was very pleased.

Eddie went out after that, and Clayton sat down to read. Jackie moved from the desk to the sofa and made herself comfortable. He began in the book of Luke, and Jackie listened to every word and detail. Things she had paid little heed to in the past now leapt out at her. She didn’t ever remember hearing that Zacharias had been made mute until his son was born, but it was right there in the first chapter. Hearing it, Jackie burst out with a question in the middle of the verse.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why was Zacharias made mute?”

“Because of his unbelief. Let me finish verse 20 for you, ‘… because thou believest not my words, which shall be fulfilled in their season.’”

“Oh,” was all Jackie said, but Clayton could tell she was troubled.

“Is it clear to you now?”

“I understand what happened, but didn’t you read to me that he and Elisabeth were upright, blameless people?”

“Yes,” Clayton responded, thumbing back to verse six. “‘And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord, blameless.’ Is that the verse?”

“Yes.” Jackie’s voice sounded almost sad. “God takes unbelief very seriously, doesn’t He?”

“Yes, He does,” Clayton had to agree. He watched her face for a time and decided there must be huge regret involved in fighting God for as long as she had. He quietly prayed that Jackie would put the past behind her and begin serving God with her whole heart. Clayton told her what his prayer had been. Jackie smiled and thanked him, and they talked of the importance of this for a few minutes. After that he read on, finishing the 80 verses contained in the first chapter of Luke.

“What did the doctor say?” Jackie asked as soon as they walked from the office back onto the street.

“That we should put a nursery together sometime before next year.”

“Oh, Eddie. Oh, Eddie!” Jackie nearly flapped with excitement. “I don’t know if I can wait that long.”

The expectant mother laughed.

“Are we going to see Robert?”

“No,” Eddie told her immediately. “He’s so excited about this that he’s sure to make a scene right there in the bank.”

“Oh, Eddie,” her sister scolded. “He would not.”

“You haven’t seen him chase me around the house in the last few days, and we weren’t even sure. All he wants to do is hold me.”

“It must be torture for you.”

This was Jackie’s first attempt at humor since she’d come to live with them, and Eddie wanted to shout with laughter. It was too bad they weren’t alone so she could give way to her mirth.

“What’s on the list now?” Jackie asked, her eyes still shining over Eddie’s soft chuckles.

“The general store. I want some yarn.”

“Booties,” Jackie proclaimed triumphantly. “You’re going to make booties, isn’t that right?”

“Hello,” Eddie said congenially as someone passed. To Jackie, she said “Will you keep it down, Jackie? The whole street heard you.”

Jackie laughed. “I’m not responsible for my actions,” she declared. “I’m a delirious aunt-to-be.”

Eddie told herself not to laugh because it would only encourage her, but Jackie could feel her shaking.

“Well now,” a deep voice spoke as footsteps neared. “This certainly looks like a good time.”

“Hello, Travis,” Eddie spoke warmly, bringing her sister to a gentle halt.

“You look radiant, Mrs. Langley,” he said kindly and tipped his hat. “As do you, Miss Fontaine.”

“Hello, Travis,” Jackie added, smiling. Eddie watched him blink at her. “We’re going to the general store and then I think Eddie should take me to lunch, don’t you agree?”

“Absolutely,” Travis said, turning pleased eyes to Eddie, who was grinning at him.

“I think I should take you home,” Eddie announced, “before you get us arrested.”

“I’ve never spent any time in jail,” Jackie said thoughtfully. Eddie shook her head.

“We’ll see you later, Travis.”

“All right. Goodbye.”

“What has come over you, Jacqueline Fontaine?” Eddie asked in amazement, but she was more amused than angry.

Jackie didn’t answer. She was in great spirits right now but couldn’t really tell Eddie why. It wasn’t that she didn’t know, but now was not the time or place. Only just last night she had been telling the Lord that she could live forever as she was. Eddie was probably expecting, so she would have a baby niece or nephew to play with, and Clayton was her friend again. She still desired to be his wife and have his children, but God had given her a deep contentment for the way things presently stood.

She now sighed to herself. Eddie didn’t hear the sound, but saw that her sister’s face looked very serene. They had come to the general store, and even the familiar smells and sounds were God’s way of saying to Jackie that He was going to take care of her.

Has there ever been someone so blind? she asked the Lord. Thank You, Father, for never giving up. Thank You for showing me the way.