Ariana pulled the pillow and covers off her head, stretched from the fetal position, and put her feet on the floor. Spending most of Sunday morning wallowing in remorse and regret wasn’t helping. She had to pull herself together.

She reached toward the nightstand and ran her hand across her tattered Bible. Some witness for God she’d turned out to be. She pulled the Bible into her lap and opened it, feeling the thin, delicate pages before skimming a few passages. It was no coincidence that the Word fell open to Luke, and her eyes immediately connected with the passage “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.”

“Sounds great, God,” she muttered. “And I mean no disrespect, but how? I have no idea how to stop judging. Apparently I would fare just as well if You told me to stop longing for home. How?”

A clinking sound pulled her from her reading. Was a bird pecking on the glass? She set the Bible back in place, put on her housecoat, and walked to the french doors that opened onto a balcony. She peered out. There weren’t any birds tapping.

She turned and went to her closet and heard the noise again. Something was definitely hitting the glass on the doors. She unlocked the balcony doors and stepped outside.

Something tiny and sharp struck her forehead. “Ouch,” she yelped.

“Sorry.” Cameron’s eyes were large with an oh-no look, but she laughed and held up a straw-type thing. A horn tooted, and she looked at the car waiting by the curb and held up one finger before turning back to the balcony. “I guess slinging rocks at you when you’re at Brandi’s isn’t sufficient. I felt it necessary to travel across town to bring my game to Nicholas’s.”

A hint of mirth stirred deep inside Ariana, as if it were waking from a long winter of sleep. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.” Cameron grinned, looking free of embarrassment or resentment over their argument yesterday. It was pretty cool outside, but the girl just had on shorts and a thin, baggy jacket over a T-shirt.

Ariana wasn’t sure how to feel about Cameron, but she liked the girl’s fearlessness in being herself and not taking life too seriously. Ariana could use a dip in that pool.

Cameron held up the peashooter. “I really am sorry for hitting you just now. I found it funny because if I spent all day trying to smack you with a pebble, I couldn’t do it again.” She shoved the peashooter into her pocket. “I only have a minute, so let me say what I need to say.”

“You’re going to throw pebbles at me just to talk to me from there?”

“Yes, it’s all very Romeo and Juliet of me.”

“And look how well that story ended.”

“True.” Cameron laughed. “I don’t need to say much, and I’m not knocking on Nicholas’s door for anybody.”

In this moment Cameron reminded Ariana of her younger sisters. She had Susie’s pluck and wit, and although Cameron looked and sounded older, she was the same age as Martha. Because of those things, Ariana wasn’t letting Cameron go as easily as she’d hoped. “Yes, we need to talk.”

“Not really.” Cameron glanced back at the car. “I was wrong to make fun of you and think it would go over your head. You were right to call me on it. The end.”

That was it? Ariana heard no remorse whatsoever. “Why, Cameron?”

“Why what? Why am I standing here and apologizing for something I did wrong?” She held both hands out, palms up. “Because Dad said it had to be face to face before I could meet my friends at the park for a game of extreme Frisbee. I’ve done it now, so—”

“Why would you make fun of me in front of your friends? I can tell you exactly why I screamed at you and why I shouldn’t have.”

“I don’t know.” Cameron scoffed. “Because you were an easy target?”

“So that’s what you do to everyone who’s an easy target?”

“What? No.” Cameron’s carefree and dismissive attitude disappeared. “Okay, okay. If we’re going to do this, could you come down from your ivory tower?”

“Give me two minutes, and I’ll let you in.”

“Are you hard of hearing as well as technologically impaired? I’m not coming into Nicholas’s house.”

It sounded as if a door below Ariana had swooshed open. “Cameron?” Nicholas’s voice was matter-of-fact, and the humor of it skittered through Ariana.

Cameron backed up as Nicholas stepped onto the front lawn.

He looked up at Ariana and then at Cameron. “Ladies, is there no cell phone service? Did an apocalypse take place and you’re unable to text each other?”

Cameron dug her hands into her shorts pocket. “I needed to talk to her.”

Nicholas gestured toward the front door. “I’m sure the neighbors would like a quieter approach on their Sunday morning.”

“Really?” Cameron asked Ariana. “You can’t just accept an apology and let me go?”

It wasn’t what Ariana wanted, but she would free her. “Go.” Ariana gestured toward the car.

“Wait.” Cameron studied her for a moment. “I know how this works. You say go, but then you’ll tell Brandi I did a drive-by smoothing, and Dad will ground me.”

Before Ariana could respond, Cameron pursed her lips and walked to the car waiting at the curb. While she talked to someone in the vehicle, Nicholas studied Ariana, and his face held parental concern. He had dark circles under his eyes, and she wished she could redo yesterday and respond with grace. He turned his focus to the cell in his hand and began tapping on the screen.

Ariana remained in place, watching her dad. She no longer needed to ask herself what was wrong with her. After a fitful night of drunken sleep, it was very clear—she was like those she judged. Regardless of her knowing right from wrong, shortcomings of many kinds easily entangled her. They might not be the shortcomings others had, but, nonetheless, they were a part of her, and they were strong. Her disappointment in others caused her to hurt them, and that wasn’t at all Christlike. The perfect One didn’t throw stones at sinners or those who’d hurt Him—although she’d like to know how He’d managed that.

Still, no matter what she saw or understood, it wouldn’t stop her personal struggles with this mess. It wouldn’t end the grief of losing a family that wasn’t hers or help her love the family that was hers. But for now she saw her dim reflection in a mirror instead of the sins of others. She understood more today, her grief and offense were milder, and she was more ready to repent than accuse.

The cell phone in her housecoat pocket pinged, and Nicholas looked up again. She knew the message would be from him, and she pulled out her phone and read it.

Tears welled. The words reminded her of what Quill had said about her value to him and his family, and Ariana closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Would God want them to undo the affair? She wouldn’t be here without it. Did she want them to undo the affair? Seems as if she should because of the sin, but the whole situation left her miserably confused. What had happened to her black-and-white world?

She needed to talk to Quill. If anyone could make sense of her thoughts, he could. Even if he viewed her similar to how Nicholas did, Quill had gone out of his way last night to get to her and to protect her from herself. She needed to apologize and thank him.

She wiped her eyes, looked up from the text, and smiled at Nicholas. “Thank you.”

His taut body seemed to relax.

Then she texted:

Nicholas read it and nodded, a faltering smile slowly forming on his lips. “Me too, Ari,” he said.

Cameron walked toward the house, waving at the vehicle as it drove off. Nicholas gestured from her to the front door, and while they ambled in that direction, Ariana hurried inside to brush her teeth and hair and change. But she stopped cold when she saw an envelope under the door. She picked it up and opened it. Inside was the bucket list with a note on top.

Let’s rethink this bucket list. If you don’t want to do anything on it, I accept that. If you’re willing to do the ones I’ve highlighted, I’ll be very grateful, so much so I’m willing to reward you with various types of contact with family and friends.

Her heart jolted, and she pulled the papers to her chest. Denki. She breathed the prayer and glanced at the highlighted sections. Relief surged. Mostly he was asking her for reasonable things—to make an Englisch friend, to work in a typically male job for at least a day, to travel some with him, and a few other things.

No more reading books by atheists? Gratefulness hit so hard her knees were shaking. She could do this…at least enough to earn a visit with Rudy. She shoved the papers into the pocket of her housecoat as she hurried into the bathroom. By the time she brushed her teeth, there was a knock on her door.

When she opened it, Cameron wasted no time sliding into the room and closing the door. “That’s the most time I’ve ever spent with Nicholas in my whole life.” She opened her eyes wide and clutched her chest.

“Seems as if Nicholas rattles you.”

“Ya think? For years I’ve watched Skylar come here for a weekend and return home an emotional wreck.”

Skylar…Rather than Ariana being angry with God or doubting Him or feeling sorry for herself because she was pulled from a life she loved, maybe she should be on her knees thanking Him that she had twenty years with the Brennemans. Otherwise, she wouldn’t even know them. Or Rudy.

“Hello?” Cameron waved a hand in front of Ariana. “You there, Giselle?”

“Oh, sorry. So tell me, all your jabs and poking fun—have I done something to offend you?”

Cameron sat on the bed and stared at her tennis shoes, tapping her feet against the thick carpet. “No. I was just teasing and having some fun. And I’m really sorry for it.”

Ariana had no choice but to accept her apology, but she felt sure there was more to it than Cameron was admitting.

Cameron leaned back on her elbows. “Your turn.”

“Okay.” Ariana pulled one of the new dresses out of a shopping bag to remove the tags. She was weary of being down and serious. “I’m sorry you did things that made me yell at you.” She kept a straight face while going to the dresser and getting a pair of scissors.

“See that right there.” Cameron pointed at her, chuckling. “That sounded just like Brandi. You barely know her, but even some of your gestures look like hers.”

“Do they?” That was a little alarming, but she had to identify with more than just the Brennemans as family now. “I’m not doing much better with Brandi than I am with Nicholas.”

“Blended families take time to bond. You’ve been here a week. I have plates of food under my bed that are older than that.”

Ariana reached into her pocket, feeling the bucket list. “I could use a friend.”

Cameron opened a drawer in the nightstand and searched it. “Should we get a piece of paper and a crayon and write ‘Will you be my friend?’ and put a box above yes and one above no? You could slip it to me during recess.”

“If it makes you feel better. But to be really honest, I mean I could really use a friend.”

“You want to use me? Are you sure you’re not related to me?”

Ariana plunked beside her. “I’m not even sure I’m related to me.”

Cameron laughed. “You’re not nearly as dull as I thought.”

“Thanks.”

How did one cope with the depth of pain of knowing her life had been a mistake of catastrophic proportions? Her Amish parents had considered her a gift from God, and yet the reality was her existence had wrecked lives. What would Rudy think of her newly discovered status—illegitimate?

“Hey, Giselle?”

“Hmm?” Ariana came back to the present. “Who is this Giselle? Is she a friend of yours?”

Cameron buried her face in her hands and laughed. “Okay, you win. You have to have someone who knows the ropes to help you. Stick with me, kiddo. I’ll have you speaking the English lingo in no time flat.” Cameron used one thumbnail to click the other one over and over again. “Giselle is a clueless, innocent klutz in the children’s movie Enchanted.”

“For children? That doesn’t sound so bad. I’m supposed to watch a few movies.” She didn’t have to, and that posed a new issue. Was she selling out her faith in order to see Rudy? “Could that be one?”

“Sure. I have a boatload of movies we can watch.”

“I appreciate that, and I’ll make some desserts and snacks.”

“I heard you bought a café and can really bake. Can I watch you do some of your cooking magic? I don’t want to miss an opportunity to see you set off the smoke alarm while trying to flip on a light switch.”

Ariana giggled. “I’d watch my step if I were you.”

“Yeah, why? Do you plan to litter the floor with the appliances you can’t operate?”

Ariana pushed her shoulder into Cameron’s. “You’re not the only smart-mouthed little sister I’ve had to deal with, so I have the upper hand.”

“Sister?” Cameron scowled, but her eyes held a hint of pleasure.

“Ya, forever and ever, so let’s make the relationship work for us and not against us, okay?”

“Sisters,” Cameron mumbled again, narrowing her eyes as if trying to decide if Ariana was setting her up for something.

“I’m a useful sister to have—not perfect but not a pain on a regular basis. What more could you want?”

“To be an only child?”

“But you didn’t ever have that, did you?”

“I’m my dad’s only child.” Cameron shrugged. “Truth?”

Ariana had no idea what truth Cameron was talking about, but she nodded. “Please.”

“I’ve only seen my mom ten times in the last ten years, once a year, and none of those visits lasted more than a few hours. It’s not supposed to be that way with moms.” She shrugged. “I was four when I met Brandi, five when my dad married her. I was so excited to have a mom. Skylar was ten, and within a few years she started causing trouble, and I’ve been the good daughter ever since. I needed that, but I never realized how much until you came along. Then I heard that your Amish mom didn’t want to let go of you, not even for a month, and you’re grown. And Brandi was willing to sell her soul for time with you, and I…”

“Wanted to make me feel unwelcome and unwanted.”

“I guess. I don’t think I actually knew that was my intention until now.”

Ariana wouldn’t comment on Cameron saying “Brandi was willing to sell her soul,” not right now. But it bothered her. “Friends?”

“Friends.” Cameron scoffed and flopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. “What are we, four?” She propped up on her elbows. “What you don’t know about how normal people talk and act is a lot.”

“By normal, you mean fifteen-year-old schoolgirls?”

“That’s right, until I turn sixteen. Then that will be the new fifteen.”

“What?”

Cameron swung her feet back and forth. “You’ve got a lot to learn so that later we can say ‘you’ve come a long way, babe.’ ”

“Right now I’d settle for going a short way—fifty miles, from here to Quill’s place in Mingo.”

“You’re gonna go in your housecoat? I vote for that over the Amish clothes.”

Ariana tossed the now-tagless dress in her lap.

Cameron held it up. “A little schoolmarmish, but better.”

“A little revealing is what it is.”

“This? No way. You know what your problem is?”

“My newest friend?”

“Hey, mess with me, and I’ll turn off the lights, and you’ll be lost in the dark.”

“Uh, it’s daylight.”

“Minor detail.” Cameron stood and held up the cream-colored knit dress that was the same basic style as the one Ariana had worn yesterday. “Okay, back to what your problem is. You have absolutely no sense of style. Wear a belt with it and some boots.”

“No. Why would I do that?”

“It would be cute. Really cute.”

“Clothing isn’t meant to be cute. It’s meant to cover.”

“Says who?”

“The Bible…I think.”

“I don’t think it does.” Cameron shrugged. “I go to church with my friends sometimes, and I haven’t heard anything about that.”

“You go?”

“Some.”

“Could we go together next Sunday?”

“Sure, why not? Let’s go to the Methodist church on Spring Street. I’ve been there before, and it has a youth group that meets during preaching. And there is this one guy who is the cutest—”

“Cameron.” Ariana snatched the dress. “It’s God’s day and His house.”

“So in Summer Grove there aren’t any cute guys who catch your eye during church?”

“Well…” Ariana had liked Sunday church more since Rudy moved to Summer Grove.

“There must be, because you’re blushing.” Cameron pointed her finger at Ariana’s cheek. “We have to get you to be real, which means dumping the hypocrisy.”

“Hypocrisy?”

“You know there are cute guys at church. You even like it. But when I said it out loud, you corrected me. Come on, Ari. Get real.” She held the shoulders of the dress up to Ariana’s shoulders. “Definitely needs a belt and boots. I have both back at the house.”

“I’m fine without that.”

Cameron tapped the toes of her shoes together. “My feet are bigger than yours, so my boots may not fit you, but I bet Brandi’s will.”

“I’m curious. You wanted a mom, were grateful to get one, but you don’t call Brandi Mom. Why is that?”

“I called her Brandi for a year before she married Dad, and it felt right. The name Mom came with lots of hurt feelings for me, so I stuck with calling her Brandi or sometimes Brands.” Cameron pointed at the dress. “More important, you can’t let your culture dictate your wardrobe. We studied about this in school. Some cultures fear women showing any skin, and they strap this heightened sense of overly sexualized thinking onto women so that anything less than a burka is wrong. Chill. Get a new perspective. I’ll help you.”

What had Ariana gotten herself into? “Maybe another time. I need to get ready to go to Mingo, but my car isn’t here.”

“You know the obvious answer, right?”

“Plug the name of the place where my car is into the GPS app and walk there?”

“N-o-o-o. That won’t get me to the park either. Call Brandi. She can chauffeur both of us, and it would make her day. Trust me.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Call her.”

“Not me. She needs you to call her.”

Cameron seemed to understand Brandi and have a connection with her that went beyond that of a typical fifteen-year-old. If Brandi hurt, Cameron wanted to fix it, and in that revelation, for a moment Ariana saw Brandi with a tiny bit of the respect Cameron had for her. Did Cameron know her superhero stepmom was an adulterer? Maybe she did but didn’t care.

Was Brandi aware that Ariana knew about the affair? She eased the phone out and stared at the screen. Was she ready to look Brandi in the eyes and ignore the awkwardness between them? Or would she disappoint herself once again by being an overwrought stone thrower?

Ariana swallowed hard, praying she could see Brandi through Cameron’s eyes of love.