To my precious grandchildren

Xander-man, Ollie, Milli, Peter, Henni and Charlotte

I am sitting here in cold, cold London, remembering your excited squeals of delight and smiling faces when you rushed into the sparkling, crystal clear water under a scorching sun at Rye just days ago. How fortunate am I to have those delightful memories to warm my soul while I shiver on the other side of the world. What makes these happy recollections extra special is knowing that someone loves me enough to give me this amazing birthday present of a trip to Europe just so that we can spend time enjoying our mutual birthdays, irrespective of the fact that they are 20 years apart!

One cannot ask for more than to have family and friends who love you. After all, we are living in a somewhat crazy world that needs all the love that it can get.

When I tell you Poppets how much I love you, I really mean it. So, when you leap into my arms for a hug with a smile that melts my heart and tell me how much you love me, I know with every fibre of my being that you mean it just as much as I do.

You know, sooooo many years ago when I was just little, I had never heard the word ‘love’ used in our home! I guess that is why it means so much to me today. It was just a time when things were different. I never felt unloved, it simply wasn’t spoken about. Maybe having seven full-on kids in a tiny three-bedroom home made it difficult for my parents to express how they felt or to have time for hugs and cuddles.

I clearly remember the first time that I told anyone that I loved them. It was time to leave home to go and teach in the country. Mum and Dad were standing by my car when I had the sudden urge to get out and hug them and tell them how much I loved them. I will never forget the stunned looks on their faces as I drove off. I made myself a promise right then that I would never miss another opportunity to tell them I loved them, and I stuck to that without fail.

With time I came to realise that love takes many forms. As I travelled the world I came to appreciate just how much I love and value our wonderful country. I knew I loved our family dog who faithfully loved us all in return. I also came to fully understand how love within a family made me feel warm, comfortable, secure and content. However, that only really became obvious when I gave birth to my incredible children.

Before then I ‘fell’ in love a couple of times and that changed everything. It was heady, intense, all-consuming, and came complete with rose-coloured glasses that delivered a beautiful but somewhat distorted interpretation of reality. I found that I was no different from anyone else, as everyone searches for that special, significant someone who could possibly make our world perfect. Little did I know then that it was up to me to provide my own inner contentment, which could in turn become a sound platform for love and romance to fill my life.

But romance is not lasting love, which has to grow and change with the passage of time. While passion is an important component of a loving relationship for a couple, I’ve found that it rarely lasts the distance. Instead I eventually discovered a beautiful blend of care, compassion, acceptance and consideration, with a regular sprinkle of romance thrown in for good measure. Finding unconditional love, free from expectation, is like finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. It is such a rare commodity, a gem that must be cherished – and nurtured, if it is to be maintained. This kind of love looks past faults and human idiosyncrasies, and focuses on the true essence, the inner being of the one you love.

I love each of you unconditionally and hope desperately that your lives are blessed with a love that sustains and fulfils you in a way you so richly deserve. Unfortunately, nothing in this life lasts forever, but to know such love even briefly is to be truly blessed.

It might help you to understand that if you can’t love yourself then it will be very difficult to love another.

There have been moments in my life since you all came along when I may not have even liked how you were behaving, like when you are tired and cranky. But please remember that no matter what, I LOVE YOU, the amazing, gorgeous, delightful souls that you are. You are so much more than your looks, your behaviour or your thoughts. I look in wonder as you are developing into creative, intelligent, loving individuals who I know will be valuable, contributing members of our wider communities.

I AM TRULY BLESSED!!

You make life worth living. You are my reason for being, because at this stage of my life I know that your parents are there for you and in charge of their own destinies while you are just beginning to shape yours.

My Poppy (Dad) forgot who I was as he got old, but through all of that he still knew that he loved me. I desperately hope that doesn’t happen to me, but if it does, just know that no matter what, I will love you forever. That love will last as long as you have me in your memory banks my Precious Poppets.

I was fortunate to be alongside your Poppa Peter who had an enormous number of fans that absolutely loved him. It wasn’t because of what he achieved as there are plenty of others that achieve big things. It was because he gave them his personal one-on-one time and made sure they knew he really cared about them. That was a lesson for me in just what people actually need in their lives.

Please do your Nan a favour and remember that our world needs more love. That can only come from individuals like you who understand that we can thrive if we are happy, and we are only happy if we have love in our lives.

With all my Love,

Nan