Maddy and Matteo have been in and out of each other’s apartments since she came back from Cobham and they slept together that first night. She’s unsure what exactly is going on between them, but the sex is amazing. It’s feels so exotic to be having such an unexpected affair that she often finds she’s giggling to herself.
Matteo comes up now from underneath his duvet and grins at her. She has to hand it to him: he’s great at giving head.
‘That was possibly the best way to start my birthday,’ she says. ‘Thank you.’
He kisses her. ‘I have to go to work,’ he says, ‘but I’ll come back at lunchtime. Shall we picnic in the park?’
She watches as he gets up and puts on the shower, then, smiling, she gets up and joins him and they make love in the steam. So much for being menopausal, she thinks. Her libido seems to have returned with a vengeance.
When he’s gone, she goes back to her apartment and puts out the message for the others to join her for a birthday swim. Then she goes online, seeing if there’s any emails about Jamie. She hoped when she woke up this morning that today would be the day. Finding him, after all, is the only present she wants.
She arrives at the beach in a good mood, but it’s weird without Helga, and when Dominica recounts how vulnerable she was at the hospital, Maddy feels terrible. Claire has brought a cake to celebrate her birthday, but they’re all rather subdued and she doesn’t tell them about how glorious her time with Matteo has been. It feels too cheeky. Too indulgent.
She meets Matteo at twelve and they stroll to the sandwich shop. Usually on her birthday, she has lunch in a swanky restaurant in town with Lisa and her friends, but this feels just as lovely.
When they get to the park with their brown paper bag full of lunch, the horse chestnuts are in full bloom and Luna gives chase to a baby squirrel. They choose a patch of grass and Matteo lays out his jacket in the daisies for Maddy. She unwraps the sandwiches they’ve bought.
Matteo’s tanned hairy legs are stretched out in front of him. She flips off her shoes and crosses her feet and rocks them towards his.
‘Are you OK?’ she asks. ‘You seem quiet.’
‘I wasn’t going to tell you, but it’s been confirmed this morning.’
‘What has?’
‘The start date for the teaching job.’
She knows that this has been coming. She’s known all along that he’d be leaving, but she hadn’t expected it to hurt like this. ‘Wow, that’s great,’ she manages, but she feels tearful.
‘I know. But it’s going to be hard.’
She nods and swallows down her tears. It’s ridiculous to be upset when she should be pleased for him. This is what he wants. But even so, she knows that this is the start of the end of ‘them’.
She leans over and kisses him and it feels more bittersweet than any of the times she’s kissed him before. She feels him responding and she pulls away, knowing they must look like teenagers to everyone else with him almost on top of her.
‘Let’s go,’ he whispers, his eyes burning into hers and she nods, answering their question.
They both race up the stairs to their floor as they get back to the apartment building. Matteo lets Luna scamper ahead and stops at the top of the stairs, where he presses Maddy against the wall and kisses her and she wraps her leg around his. He’s already got his hand inside her T-shirt.
‘Wait,’ she giggles, running around the corner to their corridor.
But she stops, with a gasp.
Trent is standing by her door. He’s carrying a bouquet of pink roses. The same kind that she had in her wedding bouquet. How much has he seen? How much has he heard?
Matteo hasn’t got the message and Maddy yelps away from his next ticklish play. She pushes her hair behind her ear as she tries to walk calmly towards Trent, but her knees are shaking.
Trent is dressed in skinny jeans and a seersucker jacket, the sleeves rolled up, like he’s from that old show, Miami Vice. She knows this outfit has been chosen for him by Steve, who runs Paynes in town, the designer shop where Trent gets most of his outfits. He rarely wears the same thing twice. But here, next to Matteo in his leather sandals and faded cargo shorts and ancient T-shirt, he seems overdressed and squeaky clean. He stares at Maddy and then at Matteo, his mouth falling open with shock.
‘Trent,’ she says. ‘This is a surprise.’
‘I found out your address from the Amazon account.’ He says this as if he’s cleverly caught her out. She hears the questions in his tone. His eyes dart towards Matteo and she knows she needs to tread carefully. She can already see the colour rising in Trent’s cheeks.
She hasn’t exactly been keeping her location a secret from Trent, but she’s surprised he’s bothered to track her down.
‘This is Matteo,’ Maddy says, introducing Trent. She squirms inside with embarrassment as Trent stares at him with unfiltered fury.
‘I’ll see you later,’ Matteo says, his eyes locking with hers as he gets his key out and opens the door to his apartment, but she’s acutely aware that Trent is absorbing it all.
‘You’d better come in.’ She opens the apartment door.
Trent looks at her and the piles of boxes behind her, but he doesn’t step over the threshold.
‘I was coming here to …’ he begins. ‘And you’ve been shagging the next-door neighbour?’ There’s colour in his cheeks as he points in Matteo’s direction. ‘Him? He’s a child.’
‘He’s forty,’ she says, defensively. ‘Anyway, you have no right to judge me.’
Maddy resents being told off like this when he’s been the one having an affair. She’s also painfully aware that Matteo must be able to hear every word. Trent always did have a voice that carried, and the walls are paper-thin. She’s got used to him being in a detached house, which can accommodate his large personality, but everything about his presence feels wrong in here in the shabby apartment block – like a shark that has just cruised onto a reef.
‘Why are you here?’
His eyes blaze and he runs his tongue around his teeth, as if he’s weighing up whether to tell her or not.
‘I …’ he begins. ‘Fuck!’
‘What? Just tell me.’
He looks cornered and she knows him well enough to know that his plan has crashed.
‘I was going to tell you that I’ve heard that the money is coming through from the sale. We could split it, but after I’ve paid back the loan, it might be better to use the rest of it to rent. Together. We could make it work, I’m sure. And I’ve found a house. It’s right near a pool so you can carry on swimming.’
Christ, he has a thick skin, Maddy thinks. Has he forgotten that it’s over between them? Or has it just dawned on him that he needs her half of the money in order to be able to afford to live somewhere near his mistress? And what about Helen? Does she know he’s here on this ridiculous mission? Because is he seriously expecting her to live with him, after what he’s done? Does he think that a bunch of roses will turn them into friends? That a smelly swimming pool will be a big enough draw? It’s not until he’s suggested this, that she realises that she’s going to stay by the sea. No matter what.
Right now she has no money, but she’s going to get whatever is left and make a new life for herself. Somehow. She’ll make it work. On her own terms.
‘Trent. I’m really not sure what you expect me to say.’
‘Do you love him?’ he asks. ‘Just tell me the truth?’
His foot taps nervously like Jamie’s used to do when he was cornered. It’s typical of Trent to turn this into some male macho thing. Matteo has nothing to do with this.
‘No,’ she says, but she’s blushing.
He yanks open the door and stalks out. He hears him slap Matteo’s door.
‘She doesn’t love you, mate,’ he calls out. ‘But that’s because she’s a heartless bitch.’
She watches from the door as he throws the roses on the floor and stamps on them, then he walks away. Maddy stares after him, astounded that she hadn’t realised before how emotionally immature Trent is. Because he’s been so childish, his plans so ill thought through.
The thought rings out in her head. A kind of an epiphany. She’s better off without him.
It’s a shock, but she knows she’ll come out of the end of their marriage in one piece. She might not have found Jamie, but she knows she’s going to survive. And that’s the best birthday present she could have.