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BRIAN
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MY FIRST VISIT TO RED Cliffs had ended with an unexpected complication.
Jack had called a High Council special session for Monday morning. Hal and I had officially been pronounced alive. Rowena, Hal and I had given detailed statements regarding the events we had had a major role in, starting from the night Ellida Morgaine had summoned us. I formally resigned from my position as the Red Cliffs clan’s einhamir and the council verified Jack’s leadership.
That same afternoon Hal, Rowena, Eve and I gathered in Jack’s study, where Azem handed us the divorce documentation. “Your situation is unique but simple,” he said. “Read the papers, sign them, give them back to me and that’s it. As soon as I have your signature, your divorce is official and you can marry your partners.”
A few signatures and that was it. My marriage, the decades filled with love, passion and respect would be officially over. But it would be selfish to think about myself, I thought, feeling empty. Eve needed to close our chapter, and that was all that mattered.
I glanced at her and smiled, expecting to see relief in her face. Instead, she looked angry.
“So, James Mohegan, to whom I’ve been married for more than twenty years, and with whom I have two children, is my partner?” she said, moving her eyes between Azem and me.
For a brief moment, I felt irrational guilt because I hadn’t died twenty-five years ago.
“It’s all right, honey,” James said. He sat beside her, covering her small hand with his. “I’m your husband; no paper can change that. We’ll have another wedding, that’s all. Think of it as our vow renewal.”
“I have nothing to renew, refresh, add or remove, James. Nothing’s changed.”
I could hear a tremble of suppressed tears in her voice, and my heart ached, for our lost love, for the pain she had felt then, and I was feeling now.
“Brian was officially dead when I married James,” she said. “Now you tell me that I’ve never been married to James. Or that I’ve been living in a polygamous union. I refuse to allow you to annul my marriage. With all due respect, Mr. Nimmani, I want to talk to my lawyer before I sign anything.”
“By all means, Mrs. Mohegan. You know, though, that by our law—”
“I do not know, Mr. Nimmani,” she said and stood up. “I’m not a lawyer. Gottfried Vandermeer will know, though, and he’ll give me legal advice.”
I’d stepped into this room today content to sign whatever I needed to sign to make it easier for her, no matter how much it hurt me. I’d been sure it was what Eve wanted. Now we had our own lawyers.
I walked to her. “Eve, I’m so sorry.”
She lifted her hand, stopping me. “It’s not your fault, Brian, but it’s not mine either. I’m happy you’re alive. I can’t even tell you how much I’m happy. A part of my soul that had died with you, came alive with your return. But you see, my marriage is valid. I was a widow when I married James. The High Council pronounced you dead.”
James put his arm around her shoulders. “Next week Eve and I are going to Italy to see Eamon. We’ll all be back before Rosie’s birthday. Let’s talk when we return.”
Eve’s eyes briefly found mine, but before she turned away, I caught a glimpse of hurt and confusion.
I wished I could ease her pain, but it wasn’t in my power anymore.
Fortunately, it was in James’s. His love would heal her wounds.
Eve had an advantage over me. I didn’t have anyone to ease my own anguish.
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I RETURNED TO COPPER Ridge early Tuesday morning. For the first time since I’d bought it, my over-furnished, over-decorated house felt like home. The last few days had been intense; I needed my simple, quiet life back.
Jason and I went to a hardware store to buy materials for stair safety gates and a bed I wanted to make for my granddaughter.
While we were driving back home, Jason told me he’d need to go to Ireland to sort out some legal stuff about the land and other properties that been his for, well, for long. “Every fifty years I have to pretend to be my own son so that I can keep the land,” he said. “Man, it’s such a bother. I’m going to deed my property to my nephew. Regan, my older sister, had a baby boy three months ago.”
“Why don’t I know about it? Why didn’t you go to see your sister and your nephew?”
Jason shrugged. “You weren’t well enough to stay by yourself.”
“Fuck, man. You should have gone to see your family.”
“Maybe I can go now, if you’re okay with that.”
“You and Harriet should go together. Azem and Lily are here. I’ll be fine.”
Jason laughed. “Without Harriet and me as a buffer zone, they’ll drive you nuts. They must be in love with each other, they’ve been fighting all the time.”
“I think that’s the case, except Azem still doesn’t get it.”
“He will,” Jason said and scratched his chin. “Listen, if we both go to Ireland, we won’t stay long. Maybe a week or two.”
“You will stay as long as you need to stay,” I said. “Book your flights and call your family. Tell them you’re coming.”
“Maybe we can go after Rosie’s birthday. We’d be there then for Ennis’s birthday.”
“Your other sister?”
“My baby sister,” Jason said, grinning, and told me about his family—a mother, a stepfather, whom he loved and respected deeply, and two sisters. Jason was much older than his siblings. His father had died during World War II. His mother remarried and had two daughters with her second husband. Regan was older and married; Ennis, the youngest, was single. “Regan’s quiet, serious, reliable. Ennis ...” another smile broke on his face. “She’s a spitfire.”
For a while, we talked about families, then switched to sports, hobbies and cars. “Harriet told me she saw you riding Blizzard,” Jason said. “Do you think you can drive? Or is it still too early for that?”
“I’m not sure. I have that sharp pain through my leg every now and then. I’ve never been crazy about cars anyway; I’ve used horses as transportation for too long. But I can probably manage a motorcycle. I want to buy one and try.”
“What do you want?”
“A Ducati. I had one before. I checked their website. I think I know which one I want.”
“Good idea, Brian. It will give you more independence.”
We were passing by a diner and I asked Jason to stop. “Let’s have lunch and coffee, if you’re not in a hurry,” I said. “I don’t want to keep you from your job longer than necessary.”
“I’m your property manager and your personal caretaker. You’re my job, Brian, so unless you’re in a hurry, I’ll be glad to have lunch with you.”
“You’re also a microbiologist, and your wife is a physicist and I know you had your lives and careers before you came here with me. I’m not comfortable with giving you orders. I’ve never had this kind of personal assistance.”
He waved his hand dismissively. “You feel dependent, I know. You’re sometimes too proud and old-fashioned, Brian. Harriet and I asked to come here with you, remember? Do you know why? Because we had tremendous respect for what you did. Besides, our careers weren’t going anywhere, and we needed a change.”
I’d been surprised when they offered to come with me to Copper Ridge to be my caregivers. I hadn’t been close to the Killians while I’d lived in Winston. Now there were very few people I was as close to as I was to Harriet and Jason.
“I don’t think I am an easy charge,” I said as Jason pulled into the parking lot.
“You aren’t a charge, Brian; you’re a friend. Your life was turned upside down and inside out, yet you managed to come out of that hell without a scratch on your humanity. That takes a great deal of courage. Give yourself a break, man. Now, back to business. I think I found you a plane. A six-seater Cessna, a beautiful thing, almost new. I know the guy who’s selling it. I’ll show you the pictures, you’ll love it.”
I used to have a small plane and enjoyed flying it. I’d mentioned to Jason I’d like to purchase one again, but I didn’t expect him to find it so quickly. “I hope I’ll soon be able to fly it,” I said, as if apologizing.
Jason waved me off. “Sooner than you think. In the meantime, I can fly it.”
I hadn’t missed the glimmer in his eyes. Jason was an accomplished pilot.
“Did you look for a dog?” Once upon a time, I’d had a dog, too. And a motorbike, and several horses. I wanted them again. It seemed that I was trying to reconnect my past with my present. Or recreate my previous life.
“I did,” Jason said. “A guy from a farm near Red Cliffs may have a dog for you. And I think I found a mare for Blizzard. She’s a pure Al Khamsa Arabian, a magnificent mount.”
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THAT AFTERNOON I AGAIN saddled my horse. Now that I didn’t need to hide from people anymore, I took Blizzard across the meadow to the forest. Taking my time, I let him warm up trotting before I pushed him into a gallop. My leg hurt a bit, but I was determined not to let it spoil the deep pleasure I always felt on horseback.
Two hours later I rode back home. My leg hurt less than usual.
I ate and took a shower. While I was walking toward the library where Azem and Lily were waiting for me for our regular evening “briefing”, I heard the soft chime of the wall clock.
Eight p.m. The time when I used to call Elizabeth.
Not anymore. It didn’t make any sense to continue calling her. We could stay in contact indirectly, through Azem. Whatever she needed to ask and discuss, she could ask him, and then he could talk to me.
Elizabeth intrigued me. Her voice stayed in my head long after I put the phone down. In those few hours I was able to sleep, I often dreamed about her. She was smart, fun and seductive. She made me laugh and smile. She was pretty, according to her only picture on the internet, with her dark hair, dark eyes and round, full lips. Even in that small image, you could see how sexy and irresistible they were, and I couldn’t stop imagining kissing them.
She would be a welcome distraction. Maybe even a remedy for my body and soul. Only she deserved more, and I couldn’t give her that. I didn’t want to hurt her, and I would if we continued our little evening games.
With my uncanny sense of hearing, I could detect her heartbeats every time we spoke; her futile attempts to control the tremor in her voice and her silent deep breaths to restrain her emotions.
She was falling for me, and I was an emotional wreck, a confused and bitter man who couldn’t respond to her feelings even if he wanted to.
No, the calls must stop. My life, thrown out of gear twenty-six years ago, might be slowly going back to normal, but it was too early for the next woman in my life.
I opened the library door, catching the last part of yet another verbal fight between Lily and Azem.
“Why did you tell her I’m your assistant? I don’t work for you,” I heard Lily’s pissed-off voice.
“What should I have told her? ‘You know, Miss Chatwin, Lily is Mr. Nouri’s technology consultant and, in her free time, a hacker.’”
“So, what do we have on our agenda tomorrow?” I said before Lily had a chance to retort.
“I’ve prepared the report on your assets and your shares in Millennium Properties,” Azem said, looking relieved with my appearance. “We’ll go through it.”
“You pushed me into this renovation business too early,” I said. “If we’d waited just a few more weeks, I could’ve had my own money to buy the Baker Block. Now we have some unnecessary complications, such as Ahmed’s money in the account opened under the name of Khalid Nouri.”
Lily looked at me across the table. “You shouldn’t really complain, Mr. Canagan,” she said in her no-nonsense way. “With all due respect, you needed something as crazy as this hotel business to shake you up a bit. You were way too depressed.”
As she finished, she crossed her arms across her chest and lifted her chin, challenging me to dispute her statement.
Both Azem and I looked at her in amusement. Then I burst into laughter. “You’re absolutely right. And please, call me Brian.”
Lily blinked rapidly several times and nodded.
“Mrs. Mohegan’s refusal to sign the divorce papers might slow down some other legal aspects of your reintegration,” Azem said, “so it’s actually good that you have access to Ahmed’s money.”
There was a soft knock on the door. Zana walked in and stopped beside my chair. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I came to say goodbye.”
“That’s very nice of you, Zana,” I said. “But it’s not goodbye, it’s ‘until we meet again.’ I’m gonna miss you, honey.”
Her small arms closed around my neck. “I’ll miss you too, Khalid,” she said. “I wish you could come back to Winston with me. We all miss you there.”
I lifted her up and sat her on my desk. I kissed her cheek, wet with tears. “Maybe you can come for your spring break?”
Her eyes lit up. “Really?”
“I’ll talk to your mom. I’ll need more help with my electronic gadgets.”
She gave me a wide smile, brushing away tears. “I’ll teach you! I like it here. I can babysit Rosie. Jason promised to teach me to ride a horse. And I like your place. It’s like a huuuge dollhouse. And I really like my pink room. It’s awesome!”
I smiled at her rapid talk. “You like my house? Well, thanks. So, if your mom agrees, you’re more than welcome. Maybe she can even come with you.”
“I bet she’d like to come. Maybe here she wouldn’t be so sad. And maybe,” her lips moved to my ear and she whispered, “you can marry her. She likes you, and I like you too. And you’re a blaidd. You know, my father was human and that’s why he died. If he had been a blaidd, he wouldn’t have died.”
Zana had tried to lower her voice so that only I could hear her, but it was a skill that took years to master. Azem and Lily could still hear what Zana was talking about. He closed his eyes and sighed, shaking his head. Lily swallowed hard and looked through the window.
“I like your mom a lot, but she’s like a sister to me, Zana,” I whispered back. “We can’t marry. One day she’ll find a husband for herself, trust me. She’ll be okay.”
“What if I don’t like him?”
“I’m sure you will. Your mom would never marry somebody you don’t approve of. You must be patient because she needs time.”
“Okay,” she said, not completely convinced.
I opened the drawer and took out a thin, square box wrapped in some girly pink paper. “I have something for you,” I said. “To thank you for the lessons.”
She removed the wrapping and opened a white box with the Apple logo on it.
“A notebook! My own notebook!” she squeaked as she opened it. “It’s pink! Omigod! I got a pink notebook!”
She hugged me fiercely one more time and jumped down from the desk. “Thank you, Khalid.”
“Zana, it’s time for bed,” Azem said.
“But it’s too early, Uncle. And I’m hungry.”
“Ask Harriet to make you a sandwich and then go to sleep. We have to get up early.”
“I know, Uncle. Good night.”
Holding her new notebook pressed to her chest, Zana kissed Azem and Lily’s cheeks and dashed out to find Harriet.
“You’ve made her day, Brian,” Azem said. “She won’t sleep before she checks out her new toy.”
Lily smiled. “Of course she won’t. Let’s give her an hour, and then I’ll make sure she’s in bed.” Lily turned to me and handed me a manila envelope. “Mr. Canagan, er, Brian, I finished the background check on Elizabeth Chatwin that you requested. Here’s my report.”
I placed the folder on my desk. “Thank you, Lily.” I tried to sound casual as I turned to Azem, “Did she contact you? Is everything okay there?”
“I left her a message on Saturday evening.”
“She wasn’t at home, huh?”
“Maybe she was already sleeping. It was after ten. And then I talked to her the next morning and told her to contact Lily or me if she needed anything. She hasn’t phoned or emailed since then. I tried to reach her a couple of times, but she didn’t answer.”
A wave of disappointment rushed over me and I tried to hide it with an indifferent motion of my hand. “Then I assume everything’s fine. Miss Chatwin does tend to misplace her phone. She’ll call if she has questions or concerns, I’m sure.”
“I suppose,” Azem said. “I told her she could contact you once you were back.”
“Okay, then.”
Elizabeth must’ve been puzzled with my sudden silence, I thought. What a coward I was. I hadn’t had the courage to tell her myself that I wasn’t going to phone her anymore. What was she thinking of me now?
I glanced toward the manila envelope, torn between two opposite desires: to know her better and to stay away from her.
What had been my excuse for digging into her private life? Yes, she attracted me, but she wasn’t the first woman to make my cock rock-hard and my heart race. And hadn’t I decided to cure myself of that fascination? No more night calls, for a start, right?
Or just one more time tomorrow, to make sure everything was alright. Otherwise, our future telephone conversations should be only business-related.
After Lily and Azem left, I took the envelope and put it in my desk drawer.
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THE NEXT MORNING, AZEM and I were going through a thick file of documents I needed to read and sign when he said, “I phoned her earlier this morning, and I couldn’t get a hold of her. Then I phoned Mrs. Fontaine, and she told me she couldn’t reach her either.”
I stopped reading and looked at Azem, a tiny alarm in my head going off.
“When did you say you talked to her last?”
“We didn’t talk; I left her a message, as I said. It was Sunday morning.”
Lily, who was downloading something on my computer, peeked from behind the monitor. “Why do you two keep calling Elizabeth ‘she’? Brian, have you had a chance to read my report?”
“I haven’t, Lily. And I don’t think I will. I’m sorry I made you work on it. I have no right to invade her privacy.”
Which I had done repeatedly, every time we’d spoken, listening to her heart. I could tune it out, of course, only I couldn’t make myself do it. What would she say if she knew?
“Most of what’s there comes from public sources, if that makes you feel better,” Lily said.
“Accessible to everyone, only nobody else knows how to find them,” Azem said. “And I’m worried about that ‘most of’ part.”
“Azem,” Lily said patiently as if she was talking to a slow-witted person, “you’re a lawyer so you probably have trouble understanding subtle concepts. I know a little bit about computers, true. I’m not a hacker. If I’m able to find something with my limited skills, I consider it public. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to find it, right?”
Azem didn’t look convinced. “Limited skills?”
“Yes,” Lily said with exaggerated patience. “In any case, it’s better to know some things than, well, not to know them.” She turned to me. “Brian, I think you should read the report. And you should call her, just to make sure everything’s fine.”
“I will. Later. And you two, why don’t you go out for dinner tonight and discuss your differences and similarities? My treat.”
“I have a date tonight, but thanks,” Lily said, looking at Azem.
I glanced at Azem and suppressed a laugh. All the color drained from his face. Way to go, Lily!
“What? With whom?” he barked out.
“With Adam Mackenzie. Brian, you know Adam, don’t you? He’s Einhamir Jack’s good friend and Red Cliffs’ deputy sheriff. He came last year to help us fight Seth and later moved to Red Cliffs.”
“I’ve known him since he was a wee child,” I said. “He’s a good guy.”
Azem’s bloodless face from a moment ago was now bright red. “He’s too old for you, Lily. At least a hundred years too old! Are you of legal age for dating? How old are you?”
Lily looked at me and shrugged, and then turned to Azem. “My age is a matter of public record, Mr. Nimmani, if you know where to look.” She stood up and smoothed down her skirt. “If you don’t need me, I’ll go to Copper Ridge to shop. I need an evening dress.”
As Lily walked across the room it crossed my mind that it was good that werewolves couldn’t have heart attacks because in his present state Azem would be a perfect candidate for one.
“Lily, honey, one more thing,” I said in a hurry, before I changed my mind. Last night, along with my decision to continue my telephone relationship with Elizabeth for better or worse, another crazy idea had crossed my mind. “I need a thorough inventory of this house: furniture, carpets, artwork, everything. Especially the artwork. And the evaluation and the origin of the paintings, sculptures and decorative art, if possible, and current prices. Could you do that?”
“Wow, that’s going to be a huge job! Yes, I guess, I can do it, all except the evaluation. You’ll need an expert for that. An antique dealer or something. What do you need it for?”
“The art pieces came with the house, but I want to be sure nothing was stolen. The previous owner had an obsession with antiquities and art. His wife collected everything else: jewelry, porcelain figures, silver, crystal, you name it. I mean, look at this house. It’s like I’m living in a goddamned museum. Drives me crazy. All these Rococo ornaments, curves, gold gilding and pastel colors. I hate pastel colors. I want to get rid of all this kitsch.”
“I’m not an expert, but the furniture and those decorative accents you hate with such passion look like original Rococo and Baroque,” Lily said.
“I’ve never liked Rococo, not even when it was in fashion. Make an inventory and I’ll have it appraised. If nothing is of dubious origins, we’ll organize a public auction. We can raise decent money and donate it towards something. Maybe the horseback riding school for kids that Rowena’s mentioned once or twice.”
“I like your idea. I’m sure the Einhamiress will find the best way to use it,” Lily said. “There wasn’t a lot of money left in Copper Ridge when she took over. I’ll start working on it tomorrow. Do you have an appraiser in mind? Because if you don’t, I might have a suggestion.”
A smug smile on Lily’s face told me we were thinking about the same person for this job. “I believe Ms. Chatwin might’ve mentioned in one of our conversations that she was a certified appraiser,” I said.
“She is,” Lily said. “I included all her credentials in her file.”
“I’ve been thinking about something. The Baker Block renovations won’t start for a couple of weeks, or even months. She can work on my knick-knack collections in the meantime.”
“Sounds good to me,” Lily said. “I’ll see you later, Brian.”
“Lily, wait!” Azem said and stood up. “I need to talk to you.”
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BEFORE THE DOOR CLOSED behind Lily and Azem, I had my cell phone in my hand. My heart pounded like crazy as my finger pressed the speed dial button for Elizabeth’s number.
It was Mrs. Fontaine who answered the phone informing me that Elizabeth had caught a chill.
“She’s completely exhausted,” she said in a voice that suggested I was somehow responsible.
“Why? What happened?” I asked, alarmed.
“Why? Well, she worked too hard, didn’t eat regularly, and didn’t sleep properly for days, that’s why.”
Now I did feel responsible. I was also worried, and I wanted to hear her voice. “May I talk to her?”
“I’ll see if she’s awake. Just a moment.” I heard her covering the receiver with her hand and saying, “Elizabeth, are you able to talk to Mr. Nouri?”
I heard the familiar sound of her heart beating. And then she said in a raspy whisper, “Mr. Nouri? How was your trip?”
“I had to leave suddenly,” I lied, and felt bad about it. I couldn’t tell her the truth, could I? “What happened to you?”
She assured me it was nothing but a cold and went on about what she’d accomplished on the job.
I didn’t like the sound of her wet coughing and I didn’t want to talk about work. She had to see a doctor. She mentioned she’d go that afternoon, but I wasn’t sure she should be going anywhere in her condition.
“Give me a moment. I’ll be back,” I said and pressed the hold button. Then I called Ahmed.
“Our young architect is sick with the flu or something. Do you know a doctor in Rosenthal who’d go and check her?”
“Several.” He thought for a moment. “I’ll phone Dr. Prentice to see if he’s available. He’s a family physician. Give me a second.”
Ahmed put me on hold, but after a few minutes, he was back. “We’re lucky. Ned’s off today. He knows where she lives; he’ll be at her place shortly.”
I got back to Elizabeth. “Miss Chatwin, er, Elizabeth, Dr. Prentice is coming to see you. My cousin Ahmed talked to him.”
“Oh. You shouldn’t have bothered him to come. It’s not my first cold ... You’re going to spoil me.”
“What if I ...” What if I want to spoil you? I wanted to say, but I stopped myself at the last moment. I didn’t have the right to stir her up further, not until I figured out what I wanted from her. “Never mind,” I said. “I should let you rest.”
I wrapped up our conversation, quickly, efficiently, hating my business-like manner. If I hadn’t, I might have told her all about the storm of emotions she’d been evoking in me. I wished I could. But it would be unfair. I was still married, formally at least, and I still had to sort out my feelings toward my wife.
Not to mention my “dual personality.” She might understand my marital situation, even my feelings for Eve. But it was way too early to tell her about my true nature.
I promised to phone later, I could tell she was upset with the change in my voice.
Have patience with me, Elizabeth, I pleaded. I’m back among the living, but I feel lost. I’m trying to figure out who I am and what I want.
I heard her deep sigh. “Thank you for calling. Don’t let me keep you any longer.”
“I’ll talk to you later. Take care, Elizabeth.”