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ELIZABETH
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I SLEPT WITHOUT DREAMS.
When I opened my eyes, Brian was sitting in the armchair beside me. He’d shaved and changed and looked hotter than ever.
The recent events rewound in my mind in a series of snapshots. They flew through my memory with overwhelming speed, yet each was sharp and vivid.
And real.
“Welcome to the world of Langaer, Elizabeth Bertrada Chatwin,” I murmured.
Brian smiled at me. “Good morning, Beauty.”
I smiled back. “Good morning, you sexy beast.”
“Bertrada. What an exquisite name. She was Charlemagne’s mother, wasn’t she? A strong and determined woman.” He stood up, leaned toward me and touched my lips in a gentle kiss. “It suits you perfectly.”
I pulled myself upward. “This happens when you have a medievalist scholar for a mother. But I like the name. What time is it? What day?”
“Noon. You slept for twenty hours.”
“No wonder I feel rested.” I sniffed the air. “Do I smell coffee?”
“Yes. I brought you coffee and breakfast.”
“Thank you. I’m famished.” My mouth watered and my stomach rumbled at the sight of the tray with food and a coffee mug sitting on the low table. “I need to use the washroom first.”
Although I was feeling fine, Brian all but carried me to the bathroom. I contemplated taking a shower, but I was too hungry for that. The condensed version of my morning routine would do this time.
Back in the room, I sat on the bed and leaned against the pillows propped up against the headboard. Brian took a seat in the armchair. Hungry as I was, I nonetheless reached first for the coffee cup. I loved that first sip of hot coffee mingled with the minty taste of toothpaste.
I ate in silence, glancing at Brian. Every now and then he would shift in his seat, run his fingers through his hair or rub his forehead.
He had something important to tell me.
“Thank you for breakfast,” I said when I finished. He took the tray and put it on the nightstand.
“Come closer,” I said. When he sat beside me, I raised my hand and stroked his cheek “Brian, I figured out a while ago that Eve was your wife.”
There was a long pause. Then he turned to me, took both my hands in his, and dropped the bomb. “Elizabeth, Eve and I are technically still married.”
At first, I thought I’d misheard him. Then when I realized I hadn’t, I covered my ears with my hands.
Oh no. No no no no no.
“We’re not truly married. She isn’t my wife anymore.”
You couldn’t be married a little bit, not even in the world of Langaer. “Oh. Brian. I asked about that. Several times. And you always said—”
“That she’s married to James. And she is. I didn’t lie, Elizabeth. I couldn’t tell you the whole truth. Don’t get cold feet now, please. Give me a chance to explain.”
I swallowed and nodded. “Tell me everything this time.”
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FOR THE NEXT HALF AN hour I listened to the summary of the last twenty-six years of the life of the former Red Cliffs leader and two of his close friends, Astrid’s parents.
I didn’t notice when I started crying, only that at one point my cheeks felt cold and prickly, and the front of my shirt was wet.
He told me about his terrible ordeal caused by the insane plans of the former Copper Ridge leader, Seth, to capture Astrid and use her for his evil purposes. About Rowena, who had to live for years with a dangerous and unpredictable killer to protect her daughter and her future realm. About Hal, Astrid’s father, who, like Brian, had almost gotten killed the day Seth had attacked them. About a quarter-of-a-century-long stay in Winston, in their wolf bodies, under the protection of Azem’s father, while dead to the rest of the world. About his, Hal’s and Rowena’s tireless and risky work to help Jack, James and Seth’s stepson, Darius, to bring Seth down.
“Astrid was five months pregnant with Rosie when Seth managed to kidnap her and drag her to Copper Ridge,” Brian continued. “Jack and James struck the same day. Everything was over within hours, although Seth almost killed Astrid, Rowena and another friend, Violet Kincaid. Hal dragged Astrid to safety. And then I jumped on Seth to defend Rowena and Violet. We were lucky that nobody recognized us, save for Rowena, Violet and a few others who knew we were alive.”
“Why didn’t you want them to recognize you?”
“Hal and I were on the verge of death when we were brought to Winston. We were in our wolf bodies, unable to change back. Once we regained consciousness, we decided to stay in Winston until we were able to resume our human form. We were dead for the rest of the world anyway. Hal did it soon after. It took me longer, and I still can’t maintain it indefinitely, or change at will, but it’s getting better, especially after you came into my life.” He smiled at me. “You seem to be able to tame him.
“I didn’t tell you all the details; you’ll learn them sooner or later. In short, everything what happened after Hal and I were attacked happened for a reason. It had to be that way: our stay in Winston, Jack’s refusal to take my place; James’s reluctance to attack the man who killed his brother. Seth was too strong. If we fought him, he would’ve destroyed us. We had to wait until Astrid became an ellida, for the power to bring Seth down lay within her.”
All the time while he was telling me his story, he sat beside me, yet he didn’t reach for me. As if he wanted to make a barrier between the Brian from then and me.
My heart squeezed. I placed my hand over his, big, warm and strong, then brought it to my lips and kissed his palm. I lowered it, but I didn’t release it. “I understand, Brian. I really do. In your world, it makes perfect sense.”
He rubbed his face with his other hand and let out a deep, heavy breath. “Back to my little complication. Like everyone else, Eve believed that I died the day Seth ambushed Hal and me. A couple of years later, she married James. They had Maggie and Eamon. They love each other. I’m content with it, Elizabeth. I wasn’t always, you have to know that. I’d been hurt and desperate for a long time. I couldn’t move on. Until I came back here and saw them together. I realized then that they belonged to each other in a way she and I never had. They are what we call bond mates. Soul mates, humans say.
“Right now, however, everything is still a bit raw. Eve feels hurt and betrayed. And she’s pissed off because my sudden return made her marriage to James invalid. She refuses to have it annulled.”
“Well, I can understand that, too,” I said quietly. “Thank you for telling me. I thought it was worse than that.”
His thumb brushed across my face, wiping away a tear. “My impossible marital status won’t make you run away?”
“No. It’s not your fault, nor is it Eve’s.”
“It’s a legal and, even more, an emotional glitch. She’ll come around.”
“A glitch? I feel my heart will break now that I know what you went through,” I said, fighting another wave of tears.
“Hey, don’t cry. Everything’s fine now. I count my blessings every day. My son, my granddaughter, Astrid, my friends.” With his thumb, he brushed away a tear from my cheek. “You. I have you.”
“Oh, Brian.”
He cleared his throat. “I still have some trouble with my transformations, but otherwise I’m fully functional, am I not?”
I sniffed and smiled through the tears. “Perfectly functional. Hey, maybe I can accompany you when you, well, go outside. Would that be okay?”
“If you want. When it isn’t so cold anymore.” He sighed. “My shifting wouldn’t be a big deal if it didn’t make me homebound. I can’t leave Copper Ridge or Red Cliffs because I can’t control my change.”
“And normally you can?”
“Yes, after the very first transformation somewhere in puberty, which is spontaneous. We change by will, which means sometimes there are months and years between two shiftings. Sometimes we do it for fun or for hunting.” He halted, eyeing me. “Oh, don’t look shocked now, you’ve been doing great so far. We’re predators, honey. But most often we shapeshift to burn out an excess of aggression. Think extreme workout.”
He managed to make me laugh. “I got the idea. Tell me something else. Do you, ahem, mate in wolf form?” I asked, blushing. But I had to know, didn’t I? I still remembered my dream of being a she-wolf. A blaidd benywaidd.
His mouth quirked in amusement. “Yes, of course,” he drawled. “Provided we’re both in the same body shape, naturally. We can have fun, but we can’t procreate.”
“Oh, I see.”
He patted his thigh. “Come, sit here. I need to feel you against me.”
I nestled in his arms and buried my nose into his neck. I breathed him in. Oh, his scent. So masculine, so dear.
“Now I have a question for you,” he said, tightening his arms around me. “You’ve been a puzzle for us. You can hear the sounds downstairs from this room, can’t you?”
“I was about to ask you about it. I couldn’t hear you for the first few days, but now I can.”
Because of werewolves’ enhanced hearing, their dwellings were sound proofed to ensure the inhabitants’ privacy. “We can still hear outside sounds like wind, rain, voices or cars,” he said. “But when I knock on your door, for example, you can hear it from inside, while I can’t hear your answer, so I have no way of knowing if I am welcome or not.”
The lesson about werewolves’ senses was both as fascinating as it was unnerving. The human scent was less strong than that of other species, I learned, but mine was super delicate. Brian’s senses were still not fully recovered. “I can smell you only if you’re close to me.” He tugged me gently until my torso was pressed against his chest. I melted in his arms. “The closer the better. I’ve never been among the top trackers anyway.”
“Who is the best tracker among you?”
“James,” Brian said with no hesitation.
“Rosie sniffed me to remember my scent, didn’t she? It wasn’t like she was delighted with my body lotion.”
Brian took my hand and kissed the tips of my fingers, one by one. “Her instincts are already strong. Yes, this is one of the ways she learns about the people around her.”
Then he told me about auras—a thin energy field outlining our bodies. “It’s a werewolf ability only. About half of us can see auras, even through a solid barrier. I used to, but not right now. Human auras, like their scents, are subtler, yours even more so. Turns out, no one can see it.”
“Let me guess. It’s a common trait among my kind. I mean among vardans.”
“Correct.”
“What if you’re wrong? What if I am only smart and open-minded enough to accept the existence of your world? Are you one hundred percent sure I’m what you think I am?”
“We all are, the ellida included.”
Flattering as it was, I wouldn’t rush to the final conclusion, I thought, detecting at the same time the utmost respect in Brian’s voice when he’d said ellida. Not Astrid, not my daughter-in-law. Ellida.
Well, I’d need the final, human, empirical proof.
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BRIAN STOOD IN FRONT of the stall while I was taking a shower. I’d entertained the idea of asking him to join me, but I realized I probably shouldn’t be thinking about sex, given the fact that I had spent a part of the previous day unconscious. My head was buzzing with information and my muscles hurt.
I’d also decided not to ask Brian if it was possible that he could change shape at an inopportune moment. Somehow, I knew he had his other side under control while making love to me. After all, a man who could put the needs of his first sexual partner after two and a half decades of celibacy before his own had to have superhuman self-control. I’d been single for a tiny fraction of that time, yet I was repeatedly faster on the trigger than he was.
My memory evoked the incredible feeling of having him inside me. The swelling and locking ...
“The knot,” I whispered, more in marvel than in surprise.
“You’re okay, Elizabeth?”
I turned off the shower and reached for the towel. “Tell me about the knot.”
I saw him through the foggy glass, rubbing his forehead. “So, you felt it?” he asked.
I snickered. Feeling it didn’t cover it. It was pure ecstasy. “It’d be hard not to.”
“Well, first, it’s nothing like the wolf knot. It runs along the length of the male, er, organ and it causes the extra swelling and thickening. And locking as well, but it can be released any time.”
“I know. Pressing above the clitoris. You did it twice.”
“Now here comes the interesting part. As a human, you see, you aren’t supposed to feel it. Only a blaidd benywaidd can.”
“Oh. Then how do you explain it?”
“I can’t.”
“It’s not because I’m a vardanni?”
“It has nothing to do with your being a vardanni. It’s physiological. And physiologically, you’re a human.”
“Well, we might learn down the road. Now I want to get dressed and resume my life,” I said, and stepped out of the shower. Brian wrapped me in a huge towel and closed his arms around me.
I’d gotten an opportunity for an incredible journey, I thought, relaxing into his embrace. I was ready to board the ship. I felt special and honored, exactly how a vardanni should feel, I supposed. I didn’t want to think about whether I was going to stay here or not or what would happen in the future. Not now. That I could leave was enough for me. In that case, I might stay. It was—
“My world. Home,” I finished my thought in a whisper, awed with this simple truth.
“It is, baby. And it’s ready to welcome you.” Brian said and gave me a long, lingering kiss.
Very well then. Let the journey begin.