| |
BRIAN
––––––––
“HOW BIG IS YOUR TERRITORY?” Elizabeth asked that evening as we prepared for bed. We were in my room, alone at last, after the long afternoon spent with the tinselhouse residents, human and animal alike.
She looked worn down. No wonder.
“Red Cliffs is about eight hundred square miles; Copper Ridge is bigger, about nine hundred and twenty. Both towns are near the southern borders.”
She untied her robe, took it off and draped it over the back of the armchair. She wore a nightgown, a flimsy little thing made of some light fabric, pale pink, semitransparent, with a lace trim around the breasts. Beneath it she was naked. I could see the outline of her breasts, her erect nipples, the triangle of her dark pubic hair, the curves of her hips, her pale, smooth thighs.
So sexy, so erotic, so sinful. Somehow, she looked more nude, more sensual than without anything on her.
I stood on my side of the bed, unable to take my eyes off her. My cock was hard, my balls tight. Her scent tickled my nostrils—body wash mixed with her arousal.
Her gaze glanced over me. “What’s the closest human settlement?” she asked, licking her lips. She was aware of my state.
“Bonnybrook, a small town the size of Copper Ridge, an hour and fifteen minutes southwest,” I said and started undressing.
“And they don’t know about you? For them, Copper Ridge and Red Cliffs are just neighboring places?” She lifted the blanket and slid into bed.
“Right,” I said and did the same.
The next moment she was on my half of the bed, snuggled beside me.
“I want you, Brian,” she said softly lifting her head and offering me her lips, “but I’m afraid I’m too tired for lovemaking. Can you just hold me?”
I kissed the crown of her head. “Of course, sweeting. Sleep now.”
She closed her eyes and let out a sigh, “Did you know Voltaire?” she said in a slow, sleepy voice.
“He was my friend.”
“Oh. I wish I knew him. And the Holy Roman Emperor Josef II,” she murmured, adding, after a short silence, “I was wondering if you maybe knew ... Never mind. I’m glad that the Emperor didn’t die so young.”
“I believe that he enjoyed the second, unofficial part of his life much more.”
“How old are you?”
“Let’s talk about that some other time.”
“Okay. It was you who helped Petra Bloomfield to steal her father’s timber, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. I also bought back her jewelry and gave it to her.”
“You saved the Marquis de Gremonville and his wife’s cousin.”
“That I did.”
Then her heart quickened, and her eyes fluttered open.
Oh-oh. I knew what her next question would be.
“Was Madame Emmanuelle your lover?”
“Let’s talk about that some other time, too.”
She yawned. “So, she was,” she said and smiled. “Well, she was an extraordinary woman, I’ll give her that.”
A silence, then, “What does cariad mean?”
“My, er, beauty”, I lied, even though I didn’t know why.
“Oh, how lovely,” she whispered, and I felt like a prick.
The next moment she was asleep.
––––––––
I WOKE UP AT FIVE. Elizabeth stirred and opened her eyes.
“Go back to sleep,” I said and kissed her sweet lips, swollen from sleep. “No need for you to wake up. I’ll stay close, baby. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Don’t worry about me. Just do whatever you always do. I’ll be fine. Maybe tomorrow I can go with you.”
“That’s not a good idea. It’s still cold and dark outside when I shift.”
She closed her arms around my neck and gave me a hot kiss. His mouth was sweet and soft. Elizabeth Chatwin was so perfect that she didn’t even have morning breath.
“But I’d have my big, strong wolf to keep me warm and safe,” she whispered.
I stroked her face. “I can’t tell you how much I’m relieved that you didn’t run away screaming your head off.”
She turned her head and kissed my palm. “I’m a big girl, Brian. I can handle both of you.”
“I know you can.”
“Brian.” Her small, warm hands framed my face. “I trusted you unconditionally. You must trust me, too. Okay?”
I wasn’t sure I could follow her thoughts. “Of course, I trust you,” I said. “You know that.”
“I want to give us a chance to see where this is going to take us. We’ll both soon know if there is a future for us. I know that I might be more, er, emotionally involved than you. Now that I know what happened, I understand. I do, trust me.”
“Elizabeth, is something wrong? Why are we having this conversation at five o’clock in the morning?”
“Everything’s okay. I want to be part of your world, that’s what I’m trying to say. Have trust in me. Now don’t let me keep you any longer.”
I kissed her and ran to the stable, undressed and shifted. As much as I wanted to linger around the house, my wolf thought he needed vigorous exercise, so I speeded toward the woods.
Two hours later, when the first golden-orange glints of a new day advanced over the mountain tops, I lay down on the dry grass, waiting for the tickly ache that would forecast wolf-to-human shifting. I thought of Elizabeth’s strange words— “You must trust me.” When didn’t I trust her? What was she trying to tell me?
“What do you want from her?”
For a brief moment, I was startled by my own thought, simply because it wasn’t mine. Or not completely. It had happened several times recently, always taking me by surprise: out of the blue, my wolf would emerge as a separate entity, like another person inside me. I didn’t understand how he did that. Our human and animal spirits were supposed to be one.
Yet things had changed after Seth’s attack, hadn’t they? My wolf had to take over to help me survive. This part was clear. I relied on him; I trusted him, even though he wouldn’t let me control my transformation. Strange as they were, there must be a reason for these occasional splits. “Talk to your blaidd,” Astrid advised me once. “You two know all the answers.”
Okay, then. What did I want from Elizabeth?
I wanted her to stay with me, I said to him, nothing more and nothing less. Was it too much to expect? I knew she wanted more than that, or she would soon. Was it selfish if I didn’t?
She was falling hard for me. I wasn’t able to think much farther than the next day. I just knew I liked Elizabeth a lot and enjoyed every minute with her.
If only she was my bond mate, everything would be so much simpler for both of us.
“You want someone or something to make it easy for you, huh? It’s not gonna happen,” he said. His voice was mocking.
Sudden anger filled my chest.
“Why not?” I howled at that smart ass inside me. “Haven’t I suffered enough? I deserve my own piece of happiness. I’ve had enough of darkness, pain and heartache.”
“Then claim it. What are you afraid of?”
“If I don’t fall in love with Elizabeth, it won’t hurt when she’s gone,” I blurted out. “Or when she finds her true love, her bond mate. Or when she falls in love with someone who will marry her and give her the babes she wants so desperately. I can’t be that man. Not now. And she needs it now.”
“Bull,” my wolf said calmly. “There is an equal chance you will find your bond mate and break Elizabeth’s heart, which she, as you know, doesn’t guard as fiercely as you. She gave it to you and she didn’t ask for anything in return. Your cariad, your beloved—made a quantum leap. It’s your turn.”
Now I’d had enough of this crazy inner dialogue with my “higher self.” Bloody beast, playing Elizabeth’s knight in shining armor. After he’d scared the daylight out of her two days ago!
“Let me change! Now! And stop fucking with me! I’m sick of these games, night after night! Let me be who I am. Let me take control of my transformations, you sonofabitch.”
“Oh, I’ll be happy to do it as soon as you’re ready, Brian Canagan. And mind your vocabulary.”
I ran back to the house, not entirely sure if I had just spoken with my wolf, or if I had experienced some kind of auditory hallucination.
It was broad daylight when I shifted back to human. I was putting my clothes on when I heard the sounds of multiple telephones from the house.
Elizabeth! Something happened! My mind screamed as my body changed its shape with incredible speed.
I was running barefoot, only in my jeans. As I approached the house, my eyes caught the impression of tires on the soft ground, running from the garage toward the driveway. The Aston Martin’s.
“No! NO!”
I burst into the house, hoping beyond a hope to see, or hear, or smell Elizabeth.
In vain.
I grabbed the first damn phone within my reach. It was Rowena.
“She’s gone, Brian,” she said in a broken voice. “The police saw her driving south in one of your fancy cars. I told them not to stop her. You said she’d be free to go ... Brian, are you there?”
“I am. I need to talk to Astrid,” I said and disconnected.
––––––––
THERE WAS A MESSAGE on the bed in my room, written on a sheet of printing paper in Elizabeth’s elegant, somewhat old-fashioned cursive:
I have to be sure. Don’t be mad.
E.
I sat on the bed and first dialed Elizabeth’s cell. It was turned off. Then I phoned Astrid. She answered after the first ring.
“Mom just told me,” she said. “She’ll be back, Brian. I think all she wanted was to see if we were going to stop her.”
Brian, I trust you unconditionally. She’d said that to me only a few hours ago. Why did you leave me then, damn you?
I told Astrid about the message. “She could’ve said she’d be back. Why didn’t she?”
“My question exactly. I think she’s headed to Bonnybrook,” I said and filled Astrid in on the details of Elizabeth’s interest in the closest human settlements and our bizarre conversation earlier that morning.
“She didn’t take anything with her, did she?”
“No, only her purse.”
“Now that you’ve told me, I think she might not even want to test if somebody would prevent her from leaving. No. I believe she trusts you. She wants to check whether she is a vardanni or not. Got it? She needed to know what would happen if she went back among humans, whether or not she still remembers what she learned about us. She needs definitive proof she is a vardanni. That’s the only logical explanation.”
“I hope you’re right,” I said and walked to the window. Azem’s truck had just pulled in, followed by the Killians’ car.
“I’m sure I am.”
“We can only wait, then.” And pray. “How long is she going to stay away, what do you think?”
“She’ll be back as soon as she realizes she remembers everything.”
“And if she doesn’t? What if we were wrong?”
The sound of Astrid’s chuckle did wonders for my ragged nerves. “She is a vardanni Brian. I’d bet my best set of scalpels on that.”
After I finished the phone call, I went downstairs. There was nothing to do but wait, so Luna and I joined the Killians, Azem and Lily in the parlor. Zana was at Astrid and Jack’s, which was a blessing. She’d be gravely distressed by Elizabeth’s escape. Or perhaps not. Zana was convinced Elizabeth would stay with us.
Look how she tied you up in knots! Good thing you only like her. Imagine how worried you’d be if you loved her.
“Fuck off,” I growled in a low voice, astounded by the fact that my wolf was still there. “It’s your fault she ran away.”
My eyes met four pairs of raised eyebrows. “My wolf,” I explained. “I’ve just discovered the joy of talking to him. Crazy, huh?”
It was, indeed, judging by my friends’ looks, but they wisely refrained from discussing it further.
The phones kept ringing, all of them except mine, driving me nuts. Everybody was asking about Elizabeth. No fucking secrets in this town!
And then, after three agonizing hours, my cell finally hummed. Rowena, once again.
“She’s coming back!” she said so loud that I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “She just crossed the border. Oh, I’m so relieved.”
So was I. Immensely. Released from the fear and tension, my body suddenly felt tired.
“She seems to be eager to return,” Rowena continued in a cheery voice. “She’s driving fast.”
What a time to test the Aston Martin’s speed. Not only had she almost given me a heart attack with her escape, but she was now jeopardizing her safety. Well, not really, given that our roads had been made accident-free for everyone, but Elizabeth couldn’t know that.
Anger filled my chest, replacing retreating fears. “They should have stopped her, cuffed her and taken her to the police station!”
“For reckless driving or for driving you insane?” Rowena laughed. “She got us all worked up, didn’t she? Two cruisers are following her from a safe distance, don’t worry. And the road’s empty. Let her have a bit of fun. And besides, the police certainly won’t stop their vardanni for driving a few miles over the speed limit.”
“A few miles, my ass! She loves speed. A hefty fine would teach her not to drive recklessly.”
“Take it easy, Brian. All’s good now. Off I go. I’ll talk to you later. Don’t be mad at her.”
Too bad. I was pissed off as much as I was overwhelmed with relief. I wanted to pull her into my arms and never let her go, but god help me, I wished that I could bend her over my knee and give her cute, little butt a few good slaps.
The last thought somehow took the edge off my rage and tugged my lips upward.
“It’s a good that you’re not overreacting Brian,” Harriet said, bursting with laughter. “Let’s go to the kitchen and make breakfast, Elizabeth will be hungry.”
Hungry or not, tired or not, she’d have to explain a thing or two.