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We lay side-by-side in silence, just staring at the ceiling.
“Next time, I get to tie you up,” Valerie whispered, her voice hoarse and raw with spent energy.
I laughed and turned my head, meeting her gaze. “I’m game,” I said with an equally spent voice.
“How’d we get from watching that movie to this?” she asked and slowly untied the satin from her wrists, dropping the fabric to the floor before she rolled into the crook of my arm.
“I don’t know, but I’m a little ashamed to admit I think I understand the lure that kind of power over someone had on my father.” I kissed her forehead. “Especially if it’s tied up in feelings.”
“Pardon the pun?” she asked, grinning. I just rolled my eyes.
“I still don’t get it. How could my mother forgive him for that crap? How could she ever marry that guy?” I sat up, staring at the blank computer screen.
“I don’t really have the answers. Even the memories don’t answer that question. She saw underneath his cold exterior and she fought so hard to not give in to him, but the two of them together...” She trailed off and sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed next to mine.
Valerie sighed and looked at me. “It just made sense. They balanced, like everything clicked into place in the universe when they were together.”
The statement made me scoff. It just didn’t settle right. There had to be some level of manipulation on my father’s part to make her fall for a killer. “I want their memories,” I said, staring her down with the command.
Valerie flinched and growled—“No”—forcing the wall surrounding her memory banks to hold against my silent assault. “Stop, Chris,” she whispered and her hands flew to the sides of her head.
I blinked, letting go of whatever door I was trying to force open in her mind. She crumpled to the bed, her breath labored, and she glared up at me.
“You can’t do that,” she said, and swatted my leg.
Instead of apologizing, I leaned over and pressed the keyboard on my computer. The root menu on the disc appeared and I scanned the other options, debating on looking at the special features or not. Valerie made the decision for me. She closed the laptop.
“I need to grab something to eat,” she said, and slipped out of bed, gathering her clothes and throwing mine to me.
My stomach growled in agreement. We both ran brushes through our hair and I grabbed the disc out of the computer, returning it to the case before we descended to the family room. Steve and Jennifer looked up from the kitchen table where they were engaged in a card game.
I dropped the movie on the coffee table and passed to the refrigerator without a word. Their eyes burned holes in my shoulder blades and I sighed, grabbing two beers before turning toward them.
“What?” I asked, as I twisted each top off and handed one to Valerie.
“Are you okay?” Jennifer asked, and the concern in her voice was as clear as the view from our back yard.
I took a minute to think about how to answer her. It hadn’t had time to really settle in, not with the romp Valerie and I had, and I’m sure it was my deliberate defense so I wouldn’t have to think too hard about the man who sired me.
“I don’t know,” I said, raising my gaze back to hers.
“Take a seat,” Steve said, and pointed his chin at the chairs lining the table.
I slid into the chair next to Jennifer and took a swig of the beer, waiting for Steve to impart some wisdom. He looked at the cards in his hand and placed a discard on the deck, fanning the cards out with a smile.
Jennifer muttered under her breath and slammed her cards, face down. I wasn’t sure if the glare she sent in Steve’s direction was real or just part of losing the card game.
“I love you,” Steve said grinning.
“So, why couldn’t you let me win from time to time?” She swiped the cards into a pile and shuffled them together with Steve’s before she slid them into the cardboard box. “I’ll let you two talk,” she said, and gave Valerie a nod to follow.
Valerie lingered for a moment, trading a worried glance with Steve.
“I’ll be fine,” I said, and she leaned over, planting a kiss before she stepped out on the patio with Jennifer.
Steve retrieved the scotch from the bar and took a seat after he filled a glass with ice. He took his time, pouring and capping the bottle before he focused on me. “I’m not going to lie to you. Your father could be a royal asshole, and his views on human life were questionable at times, but, and this is a huge but, he, for the most part, had the right reasons for most everything he did. The only time he turned his back on morality completely was the time his stepbrother was manipulating him.” He took a sip of his drink and leaned back in the seat. “Your dad...” He trailed off and took another sip, glancing around the room before his gaze landed back on me, like he half expected something from the great beyond to talk to him. “Your dad ended up being, probably, the closest friend I ever had.”
“How long did you know him?”
Steve was quiet and he looked down into his drink. “I worked with him for a month on the Winslow case.” When he raised his eyes to mine, I got chills and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know anything more. “And he was with me for close to ten years after he died.”
I just stared at him, the words sinking in like a drug, the meaning still lost on me.
“Your father’s penance was being assigned as my guardian angel.”
I laughed out loud. He had to be fucking kidding me and yet his stoic gaze didn’t alter and I could see truth in his eyes, but it was as insane as the vampires that attacked us at the lake.
“Why?” I whispered, when I found my voice.
He huffed a laugh. “He needed me alive.”
I shrugged to say what the hell did that have to do with anything.
“He needed me to make sure you turned out the way you did.” Steve leveled a look in my direction that turned my insides to ice.
“And what way is that?” I asked, dreading the answer.
Steve’s expression softened and he smiled. “Honorable and courageous along with a moral compass that is pure and ethical.”
It wasn’t what I expected and I sat back in the chair, blinking. “You make me sound like an angel.”
This time he did laugh. “Well, you had your moments of rebellion like every kid does, although some of it could have gotten both you and Tom into a world of trouble.”
“So, I’m not like my father?”
He was a little slower in responding to that than the other questions. “You are in a great deal of ways, but the thing that separates you from him is you have never compromised your morality. Sure, you stole a car once and got hauled in for trespassing and reckless driving, but you were side-by-side with your brother and I’m pretty sure most of that shit was his idea and you just went along to make sure he didn’t kill himself.”
I looked into my beer, wishing I could remember these things.
“CJ,” Steve said and I met his gaze. “You’re one of the brightest and kindest men I know. You also can be cocky as hell and have a razor-sharp sense of humor. Most of those qualities came from your father. Your sense of right and wrong comes from your mother and I like to think I may have reinforced some of that, but...” he shrugged.
“Did money have anything to do with why you took us in?”
Steve shook his head. “No. Your father helped finance a victim’s fund and he made sure I got a hefty cut of it. I had no clue he would do that, either. Nor did I know he had made arrangements that Jen and I would become your guardians when your mother died. He made me independently wealthy, and I haven’t touched a cent of either yours or Tom’s trust funds.”
“What about my medical expenses?”
He tilted his head. “I covered it. You’ve been my kid since you were nine. And if you haven’t figured it out yet, there’s pretty much nothing Jen and I wouldn’t do for you and Tom.”
I dropped my gaze and swallowed the sudden lump in my throat.
The phone rang and Steve didn’t move to answer it. I stood.
“Leave it, it’s probably the press. The phone hasn’t stopped ringing since the news story aired.”
I dropped back into my seat. And the dial tone rang through as soon as the answering machine picked up. “Thanks,” I said after the phone cut off.
“For?”
“For giving me a little more insight into my past.”
“I figured you didn’t drop into a seizure watching the movie,” he said and shrugged. “So what was the harm in talking to you a little about your father? Besides, if the media corner you, at least you’ll have some clue and won’t be taken off guard. That could be a disaster.”
“So, there are such things as angels?” I asked, returning to his prior statement.
He nodded. “Yes. However, that’s really not a conversation for right now. Okay?”
The clear warning in his tone gave me pause. I wasn’t sure whether to push him on the issue or not, but by the hard expression, I figured the conversation was now over.
“Okay,” I conceded. “Think we should join Jen and Val?” I hooked my thumb over my shoulder toward the patio and Steve gave a nod, topping off his glass with scotch before storing the bottle away. I followed him outside.
“You okay?” Valerie asked when I took the seat next to her.
I gave a nod before I took a swig of my beer and scanned the dark horizon. That same sense of foreboding that I experienced at the lake house crawled over my skin and I shivered in the summer heat.
“Something’s coming,” I said and Jennifer hissed out a breath, pulling our attention to her. Her usually clear green eyes were opaque, like the dead and my vision clouded over.
My blood turned to ice, making my entire body numb. The edge of a blade pressed against Valerie’s throat and I stared into fire-red eyes, eyes that didn’t belong in Raven’s face.
“Jennifer,” Steve’s voice rocketed through me and whatever visual nightmare accosted me shattered into the silence surrounding us, but what I had seen couldn’t be erased.
Jennifer’s eyes were wide, but back to normal and they locked on mine. “You can’t take the deal,” she whispered. “No matter what.” Her eyes rolled back in her head and she slumped in the chair.
I thought the vision was chilling, but her words frightened me into silence. When I turned my glance to Valerie, her eyes held a sadness I didn’t understand.
“She’s right. If we do find ourselves in that situation, you have to say no, no matter what. You understand?”
I just stared at her. If that was a glimpse of the future, there was no way in hell I’d sacrifice her. Not for me. Not for anything on this earth.