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We stumbled downstairs in search of food, and the glare Steve leveled in my direction made me pause and cock my head in question.
“The rules,” he said and I pressed my lips together against the grin that begged to surface.
“I’m over twenty-one,” I said, opting not to remind him that this actually was my house on paper, not his.
“You could at least turn on a radio or something,” he mumbled and went back to the book he was reading.
I glanced outside at the back yard and the misty rain layering the landscape. If it had been nice out, he would have been on the patio. We tried to keep quiet, but I guess both of us forgot that, this past go round.
“Sorry,” I muttered back and crossed to where Valerie was raiding the refrigerator, pulling out sandwich meat and all the fixings. When she met my gaze, her cheeks were already the color of a crisp red apple.
“Beyond the fallout of that night, did I miss anything else?” I said. Valerie and I obviously hadn’t talked for the last hour, so beyond what she told me before my shower, I had no clue of what went on with Lucifer.
Steve traded a guarded look with Valerie and then shook his head. The glance alone told me more than anything else.
“I don’t need protecting, or haven’t you figured that out yet?”
Valerie dropped the knife she held and spun in my direction, pointing her finger at me. “I have every right to try to prevent what happened the last couple of weeks, from happening again.”
“Whoa, babe, calm down,” I said, putting my hands in front of me against her venomous tone.
“Calm down? Are you out of your ever-lovin’ mind?”
I guess that was the wrong thing to say, and I dropped my gaze to the floor, feeling more like a scolded puppy than a man. I pushed my hands into my pockets and sighed before meeting her sharp glare.
“Val, I know you were... freaked out, and I’m sorry. However, you can’t keep buffering me from things. Not when I can help.” She opened her mouth to argue and I leveled an equally dangerous glare. “You can’t.”
“Damian found another portal,” Steve said and stood, facing us.
“Damn it, Steve,” Valerie snarled. “Do you want to kill him?”
“No. Nevertheless, he has a right to know, especially now that the memories are creeping back. You know damned well that Lucifer wants him catatonic. If the memories don’t kill him, Lucifer just might, and now that the devil’s topside, and possessing at will, we don’t have a prayer unless C.J. knows what kind of hell is coming.”
I had the benefit of my father’s memories, but even so, Steve’s building anger projected in his voice, landing over both of us like an exclamation point. Valerie stared at him with her jaw hanging open, and instead of consoling her and alleviating her fears, I hit them head on.
“Tell me what I need to know.”
“You don’t need to know right now,” she said, spinning in my direction.
Her eyes held a frantic panic that I could identify with. I had felt that when I first woke from my coma, not knowing who I was, never mind the people around me. However, Valerie’s fears were more personal, more intertwined with my destiny than I cared to admit. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I also didn’t want to be blindsided again.
“I get that Lucifer isn’t dead. That was obvious from the other night.” I waved at the family room where the skirmish with Raven’s father occurred. “I get that I somehow went up against him after Damian stole his grace, and Lucifer put me in a coma. But what I really need to know is what I did, or didn’t do, that landed me in that hospital.”
The slider opened and Damian stepped inside, his clothing and hair soaked from the downpour outside. His appearance whenever I spoke of things really was starting to unnerve me.
“Steve asked me to come,” he said and my gaze shot to Steve. I hadn’t heard the request broadcast from his mind.
Steve held up his cell phone. “I texted him. He’s the only one who knows what happened that day.”
“No,” Valerie stepped in front of me. “You can’t.”
“I need to know, Val,” I said, softening my voice and meeting her gaze. “I’m going to have to take him on again, whether you want me to or not.”
“But...”
I planted my lips on hers, stopping the rest of her argument. “Sounds like any way we look at it, I’m screwed, so I’d rather walk into this with my eyes wide open.” I cupped her shoulders and moved her out of my way before focusing on Damian.
Damian wasn’t looking at me; he was focused on Valerie and waited for her go ahead.
“Tell me what happened,” I commanded and his eyes shifted to mine. A sarcastic smile appeared along with an edge of a chuckle.
“You’re commands don’t work on me.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“I’m Gabriel’s son, not some distant angel descendant. For some reason, that overrides the mind control aspect of your gift.”
I mulled that over as he and Valerie went back to their silent debate. I caught hints of her thoughts but none of his so I met Steve’s glance. “I can’t control angel’s, can I?”
He shook his head. “No. You can’t.”
Pieces started clicking into place slowly. “I can’t decimate them like I can a demon or vampire.”
“No.”
I didn’t need Damian to fill in the blanks. I was smart enough to figure this one out.
“I don’t have the power to destroy an archangel, do I?” It was more of a statement than a question and Steve slowly shook his head. “So, what the fuck was I thinking?”
Steve let out a laugh and shrugged.
“When you lose control, you have enough power to push Lucifer back to hell and close the portal. Forever.” Damian interrupted, throwing a wrench into my thought process and I turned toward him, ignoring my girlfriend’s silent rant. “There are a finite amount of portals, too.”
“So, how many have I closed?”
“Just one.”
I reached for the kitchen chair and took a seat. “And it put me in a coma for two years?”
“No. Closing the portal didn’t put you in a coma,” Damian said. He didn’t continue and his gaze slid to Valerie before returning to me. “Lucifer and his pack of demons beat you to within a breath of life before I got there.”
This new fact settled and no one spoke while I studied my hands. My mind wrapped around the facts and I glanced back at Damian. “If I was injured, why didn’t he just take me over like the demons did to Valerie and Raven?”
This time Damian just chuckled, and his eyebrow rose. “A demon tried once at the hospital, but it didn’t work out so well for him. Even in your comatose state, you toasted that fucker.”
“No shit,” I said, as surprise rippled through me like an electric shock.
“Seriously.” He nodded.
I glanced at Valerie and despite her crossed arms and closed-off stance; she offered a single shoulder shrug confirming what Damian was telling me.
“They need you to say yes,” he said, pulling my attention back in his direction. “In order to defeat me and get to my wife and daughter, you have to say yes.”
“That’ll never happen,” I stuttered. The sigh that escaped him wasn’t reassuring in the least.
“Lucifer knew we were on the hunt for the rest of the portals. He waited for you to come to before he passed through. But he’s not sporting a body, so he’s on the hunt for a loaner until he can get his hands on you. Now that you’re awake, he’s going to send everything he’s got at you.” His gaze moved to Valerie. “And at everyone you love. No one you care about is safe.”
A chill hit me in the center of my chest, spreading numbness through every cell and I shivered, thankful I was already sitting down. Had I been standing, I probably would have dropped to my knees.
With sudden certainty, my motives for going on a suicide mission finally made sense. “That’s why I went after him, isn’t it?” I asked, looking for a confirmation I really didn’t need.
“Yes,” Valerie answered and I turned to her. Her arms fell to her sides and her chin dipped to her chest. She turned away and stared out the window at the steady rain. “You didn’t want us to be on the run all our lives.”
I dropped my head in my hands. The conflict nestling in my chest tightened, and I pushed at the barrier in my brain that was locking me from the rest of the puzzle pieces. It was like poking a bear and knowing the outcome was not going to be pleasant, but the alternatives were even more devastating. At least, if I dropped into a coma again, the people around me would be safe.
Unfortunately, the bear I was poking must have been a teddy bear because the wall blocking my memories remained intact. The sliders engaged and I turned in time to see Damian close the glass behind him and head back to his adjoining property.
Valerie took the seat across from me and slid one of the sandwiches she’d made in front of me. She sniffled despite the absence of tears in her bloodshot eyes. “On a different note, we never got to talk about that charity gig,” she said and her gaze dropped to the sandwich before her.
“You really want me to become a performing monkey?” I asked and picked up her offering of sustenance. She cracked a smile and glanced up at me.
“Ms. Cole had a piano delivered as a token of her sincerity. She hasn’t stopped calling since I left her at the Anchorage.”
“A piano?”
“And sheet music. She wants to book you down at the Wang Theater in Boston for a fundraiser they are putting on for St. Jude’s. You aren’t the only performer, so she just has a couple of songs she wants you to sing, including Hallelujah. I’ve been stalling but she needs an answer as soon as possible because the telethon is this coming weekend.”
I stopped with the sandwich half way to my mouth. “Like, in a few days?”
“Yes,” she said and took a bite. “She’s trying to hold a spot for you, but if you don’t get back to her by tomorrow, she has to find someone else to fill in.”
“And that’s my problem, how?”
Valerie’s lips tightened, hinting that her level of annoyance in me had risen another notch. “You could convince an awful lot of people to donate,” she said. “It’s for cancer research,” she added and dropped her sandwich on the plate. “You saw those kids in Boston, the research St. Jude’s does has helped thousands of kids survive.”
“Fine. You really want me to do this?”
“Yes.”
“Then call her and tell her okay,” I said and a slow smile appeared on her face. I guess she really did want me to sing. “Where’s the piano?”
“In the living room.”
I scoffed down the sandwich and dropped both our dishes in the dishwasher before heading into the other room. I stopped in the doorway at the beautiful baby grand piano nestled in the far corner by the window.
Walking over to the piano I picked up the sheet music piled on the bench. Hallelujah, Drops of Jupiter, I Don’t Want to Miss A Thing, If Everyone Cared, and a couple that made my eyebrows raise; The Story and Angel, both sung primarily by women. I went to toss them all back, when I froze in place and stared at the papers.
With a spark of excitement igniting in the center of my chest, I spun around facing Valerie.
“I can read,” I said, opening the top pamphlet and licking my lips as the words and music formed in my head with each scan of my eyes. It came alive and I let out a laugh of joy, dropping the rest of the sheets on the floor, and propping the one I’d arbitrarily opened on the piano.
My hands rested on the smooth ivory keys as I scanned the music again and then I closed my eyes and let my fingers create something amazing. When I opened my mouth, the words flowed just as effortlessly as the tune on the piano. Of course, my first attempt at singing The Story was more of a baritone growl than the high feminine pitch of Brandi Carlile. I stopped, cleared my throat and started again, choosing the right octave to start that would give me the ability to hit the high notes without screaming. I didn’t necessarily want to replicate her version but I didn’t want to stray so far that the audience wouldn’t know what I was singing.
Half way through I glanced up, meeting Valerie’s gaze. Her jaw was open, and beyond her stood both Steve and Jennifer with the same shocked expression. I stopped playing and stared back at them.
“Don’t stop,” Valerie whispered, recovering enough to speak.
“All of you could have been masquerading as fly traps a few seconds ago,” I stuttered. “Was I that bad?”
“No. On the contrary. That was beyond exceptional,” Jennifer said and crossed the distance. She moved the discarded sheets of music and took the seat next to me. “Start from the top,” she said. “And stay in the octave you were just singing.”
I stretched my fingers and placed them on the keyboard, closing my eyes once again. With a big inhale and exhale, to settle my nerves, I began again and when I opened my mouth, the words flowed in that same key. Jennifer’s voice penetrated my concentration almost making me lose my place. I opened my eyes and glanced at her, her voice complimented mine in a way that produced goose bumps up my arms. Our voices filled the room, layering the tune and giving it depth I lacked. I glanced at Valerie and Steve, who now stood together at the far side of the piano.
When we finished, their clapping created a swell of pride in my chest and at the same time, I shifted on the bench, a little intimidated by the adoration in all their gazes.
“You have a beaut...i...ful voice,” I stuttered, moving the focus to Jennifer. I couldn’t recall hearing her sing since I woke from the coma, and I was impressed by the pureness of her voice.
“Thank you. So do you,” she said and gave me a one-armed squeeze.
“Sing this with me this weekend at the telethon?”
Jennifer grinned, lighting up like I had never seen her. “I would love to.”
“Oh, good, feed the applause junkie,” Steve muttered and Jennifer sent him the kind of ‘shut up’ glare I was used to seeing from Valerie.
“You’re going to come, right?” I asked, feeling more like a little kid searching for approval from his father than a grown man. It was one thing to sing for the kids at the hospital, but on live television, well, let’s just say the butterflies had already started to set in, leaving my stomach a roiling mess.