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Valerie and I walked into the empty house in York after saying our goodnights to the rest of the family.
I stopped her in the middle of the room and just wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to my chest. The only thing I hadn’t dealt with since I woke was what Lucifer had done to her in the warehouse. I hadn’t seen the lion’s share of what was done, but I could only imagine. While I shared everything with her, she had kept her own barricades up.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered into her ear and gently kissed her forehead.
The trembling started all at once; it wasn’t a slow progression but a tornado that shook her entire form. My arms held her on her feet and she clung to me, despite the conflict brewing inside her. I was inhabiting the form that brutalized her. The soft tones of my voice were the same as the ones whispered throughout her torture.
“I love you,” I said and tightened my grip, trying to enforce the fact it was me and not Lucifer. Each painful sob sent a spindle of rage through me. “He will never touch you again,” I added. “I promise.”
She pushed out of my grip. Her tear-stained face transformed into the same level of fury. “He used you,” she spat at me waving her hand at my form. “You were the one I saw coming after me, not some random stranger. When he finished, he let the demons nearly fuck the life out of me. It was your eyes that watched. Your smile of satisfaction every time a scream peeled from my throat...” Her voice hitched and she dropped to the couch, covering her face.
I slowly lowered into the chair, afraid to ask the question that surfaced.
“How do we get past this?” I whispered after her renewed sobs dissipated.
“He knew what he was doing.” She wiped her face and moved her eyes to me. “He was ruining me from the inside out, on the off chance I got away. The bastard hedged his bets and I’m not sure what he left behind is salvageable.”
I moved next to her and she flinched. “If it’s any consolation, I went ballistic,” I said. “My father pulled me away so I didn’t see everything, but I saw enough for me to make a scene that all of Heaven will never forget.”
“It’s not a consolation.” She glared at me. “Don’t you get it?”
I reached out and cupped her cheek. “I get it. He fucked both of us. But he wins if we don’t get past it.” I pulled her onto my lap despite her tensing up and I just held her against me until she relaxed.
“I hate him,” she muttered and she turned my head towards hers so our eyes met. “But I don’t know how to win this one.”
“Tell me if you know the difference,” I said and leaned in, kissing her lips, tentatively. The worry that she wouldn’t be able to evaporated on contact, my mind went numb, lost in the silky feel of her and I swiped my tongue against her closed mouth, hoping for access. She granted it and our tongues mingled in a sensual dance that drew my breath and locked it in place. Heaven was dismal in comparison to kissing Valerie and the world around me ceased to exist.
She pulled away, slapping me back to reality and I opened my eyes, meeting her stormy irises and noting the heightened color in her cheeks.
“Can you?” I asked, praying she could.
Her hand caressed my cheek and she broke eye contact without answering. Her hand fluttered to her throat and then she climbed off my lap, turning her back to me.
“I can tell the difference in your kiss,” she said, her voice hesitant and shaking. “But I need to find out if I can tell the difference...” She trailed off, keeping her back to me.
I knew where she was going and I stepped behind her. “You’re still hurt,” I said moving her hair from her neck. I kissed the offending bruise, wishing it away. A layer of sparkles cascaded down her body and she gasped in pain.
“Why do I have that?” I asked, stepping away. It came out in more of a snap than I meant it to and she glanced over her shoulder at me.
“You have everything.”
“Why?”
She shrugged and turned forward again.
“You’re the doctor. You should have the healing power.” I scanned the tension present in her back. She didn’t want to discuss the lack of division of the power and I sighed, stepping forward again, placing my hands on her arms. “You’re more a part of Heaven than I am,” I said and she turned her head, meeting my gaze. “You should have that side of the equation.”
“You’re the one who sucked everything from me,” she said and shrugged.
Instead of engaging in this seduction from the back, I turned her towards me and stepped in so her chin tilted up to meet my gaze. “You shouldn’t ever be powerless,” I whispered and covered my heart, wondering if I had the power to split grace. I concentrated, watching her irises swirl in response to being near me.
My teeth clenched and I closed my eyes concentrating on that glowing orb inside me. The effort to split the sucker made me break out in sweat. Valerie was speaking to me but I shook my head and said, “Shush.”
I rolled up a piece of healing power and the darker power into the small piece of grace that broke off and opened my eyes. The glow in my hand radiated and I glanced up at her. She had taken a step back and I reached out, pulling her close as I pushed the grace into her chest. I held her to me, keeping my hand over her heart and her back arched in response as the magic infused with her cells.
The pieces I pulled together were small, but enough to give her a fighting chance if we ever ran across Lucifer. “Now you won’t be helpless, even on his turf.”
I dropped my hands and stepped back. Her breath still hitched in her chest and her irises did the storm dance that I loved. Colors shifted like rolling clouds of blue, purple, and grey. When they settled, she exhaled.
“Holy shit,” she said and her gaze dropped to my shirt. “You’re going to need a new shirt,” she said and I glanced down.
The fabric over my tattoo was charred and tattered but the skin underneath was fine. I glanced at her shirt and smiled, lifting my gaze to hers. The power of the transfer of grace carved the same symbol into her skin as well. “You do, too.”
This time, she closed the distance and the kiss she delivered wasn’t even in the realm of tender. It was frantic and demanding and consumed every inch of my soul.