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Over the next year or so, I was distracted. That’s about the best I can say. I lost track of what was happening at Pike River Mine. I was aware that, in the month following the election, Anna and Sonya won a famous victory in the Supreme Court when the payment made on behalf of Peter Whittall was finally declared to have been illegal. With the initial support of Helen Kelly, who had died the previous year, they had made a powerful and principled stand, an achievement I respect. It was, they were quoted as saying, ‘the end to cheque book justice’.

In that same week, Cabinet would approve the establishment of the Pike River Recovery Agency, set up to investigate what happened in the 2010 disaster and look into the possibility of manned re-entry of the drift. A government-appointed group, to be called the Family Reference Group (FRG), was also established to represent the families in relation to the Pike River Recovery Agency and the government. This was to be headed by Anna, a move I understood, in light of her newfound presence in the political arena. Sonya, Rowdy and Bernie were also appointed, as well as the PR people (one of whom is a documentary filmmaker). Nearly all of them had strong links to the union movement, as did Andrew Little, who had been national secretary for the Engineers Printing and Manufacturers Union (responsible for miners) at the time of the explosion. Little was appointed Minister Responsible for Pike River Re-entry.

Two families had consistently requested that there be no recovery because they did not want their relatives’ remains disturbed, and one other had dropped out of contact. They were the only ones who were not signatories to the recovery agency’s founding statement, in which they set out the following requirement:

Stand With Pike Family Reference Group (FRG) has full and sole delegated authority from the overwhelming majority of the Pike River families (28 out of the 31 families) to represent them in all matters relating to and arising from the re-entry and recovery of the drift. The Agency will not initiate any contact with a Pike River family about the re-entry or recovery of the drift, except through the FRG. If a Pike River family contacts the Agency about a matter concerning the re-entry or recovery of the drift, the Agency will inform the FRG of the contact and the matters discussed, unless the family has requested the matter be treated confidentially, which will be pro-actively offered by the Agency.

The families, it appeared, were required to remain silent unless they spoke through the FRG. Anna headed the group. She, Sonya and Rowdy formed a nucleus, plus two of the PR consultants. At the outset, Bernie Monk was part of this group. This cloak of silence would later lead to insurmountable tensions within the group. Some would say that it turned inward and that government agencies were being protected. But at that point, I thought all was well.

On 14 November 2018, came the welcome news that the government had agreed to re-enter the drift, the 2.3-kilometre tunnel connecting the outside world to the mine. At the beginning and end of each shift a drift runner had been used to transport the miners to and fro along the tunnel. Because the explosion had occurred around the time of a shift change, there was a possibility that some of the miners’ remains might be found in the vehicle. As well, the electrical components that powered a ventilator fan, and other vital working parts, were housed at the far end of the drift. The police had been asked to lay criminal charges of negligence against the directors of the mine, but they maintained that until evidence could be presented, they had no case. The government’s decision and the commitment of funds represented a huge breakthrough.

In late April 2019, Anna Osborne wrote and invited me to go down and join the Pike River families for the mine re-entry at the beginning of May. There would be a gathering in Greymouth the night beforehand, where Prime Minister Ardern and Andrew Little would be in attendance. The following day, we would all travel by chartered buses to the mine entrance. I knew this was something Ian would have wanted me to do. Both my children were keen that I go and insisted on sending contributions for my airfare to Hokitika. I rang Bernie and Kath and asked if I could stay with them; they volunteered to pick me up at the airport. I let Anna know that this transport had been arranged.

A curious thing happened when I was in transit at Christchurch airport. Sonya phoned me to say the opening had been delayed. Perhaps I would prefer to turn around and go back home? Nonplussed, I asked if all the events were postponed too. After a short silence, she said that they would go ahead as planned. I continued on my way to Hokitika.

That evening, with the Monks, I attended the gathering in Greymouth, which took place at a hotel in the town centre, in a long room decorated with twinkling fairy lights. I sensed something was amiss. I looked for Anna and Sonya and saw them among a throng of people. It was as close as I got. I sat at one end with a small group. The prime minister went around the room glad handing. She stopped at the table where I was sitting, chatted about make-up and jewellery with a group of delighted women and then moved on. Other government ministers circled carefully. I spoke to Andrew Little. We had met, I reminded him, at the select committee hearing, two years earlier. Yes, he said, yes, thank you, of course. I approached Damien O’Connor. I’m talking to this lady, he said, bending towards an elderly woman dressed in red.

I was puzzled. Since those heady days at Parliament, something had changed. On the way back to Paroa, I mentioned to the Monks that I had found it strange that I hadn’t caught up with Anna and Sonya. They were quiet and I let it go.

In the morning we assembled at the Moonlight Hall on the outskirts of town, surrounded by a big empty paddock, hundreds of us waiting to catch our designated buses. We had all received police clearances in the week or so beforehand. Everyone was given a lanyard with their name, showing which bus they were to board. The first bus would carry the zone one visitors right to the portal (the entrance to the mine); the zone two bus was for the next lot of invited guests, who would be set down a short walk away, at the White Knight Bridge. Everyone else would come in the following buses and make their way along the road from where they were parked. I have the lanyard still. ‘Zone two’ had been crossed out and ‘bus two’ had been replaced by ‘bus four’.

So we travelled to the foot of that great mountain where the portal stood. Mist swirled around the black beech forest. When everyone was assembled, a loader was to have removed the seal that had been placed there by Solid Energy but, owing to the delay, that didn’t happen. Members of the newly established Pike River Recovery Agency were to have entered the drift at this point. We did get to walk up to the portal face and touch it. There were blessings and speeches, and some songs.

Late that afternoon, back at Moonlight Hall, I caught up with the Monks again, and met Rebecca Macfie, chronicler of the disaster. As we stood in the paddock, I caught glimmerings of what had happened during my absence.

Because of the tight rein the government had put on the FRG, there was now a widespread perception that decisions were not being relayed beyond the nucleus of the group. When it came to information, you were either in or you were out. A year later, Bernie had chosen to be out.

Over dinner that night, I was told that some families later felt they were being excluded from information. Bernie had been asked to sign a confidentiality agreement, which meant that he couldn’t be as open and transparent as he wished. His door had been open twenty-four hours a day and that was the way he wanted to keep it. Initially, he had signed the document, but when some of the families expressed their concerns, he had decided that what he was doing didn’t sit with his beliefs. He was now a spokesperson for twenty-two of the families; this group is the Pike River Families Committee.

Bernie shook his head. ‘Anna and I should be on the same page,’ he said.

But they weren’t any more.

I hadn’t known any of this on my return to Pike River. It seemed that I was out too.

Early morning at the roadblock to Pike River Mine.