I’ve been housesitting Patty’s home for the past four months while she’s been on the cruise ships. Obviously I had to sell the family home when The Ex upped and left, so I rented a little starter home to begin with. Then, just before Christmas, my landlord decided he wanted it back, which meant I would have been homeless if it hadn’t been for Patty. Well, not exactly; there was always the unthinkable option of moving back in with my parents for a while but then Patty offered me this housesitting gig. It wasn’t a hard choice, as she and I joked at the time at least I’m allowed to bring boys back for the night here. Not that I have yet but that’s another story.
I call Michael and tell him about the dinner party on Saturday. He takes absolutely no persuading and says yes to coming. He’s only encountered Patty once, so he’s curious to meet my best friend and her partner properly. He’s heard the tale of how they met several times and there’s the added bonus of a decent meal to look forward to. My culinary skills are legendary for the wrong reason.
‘Someone who can cook is making Saturday night’s meal,’ I tell him.
‘Praise the lord,’ he replies, ‘I haven’t replaced the battery in that fire alarm yet. It’s worn out.’
‘Ha, ha very funny, that’s the last time I cook for you.’
‘Good god, all I need now is a brand new Jaguar to appear on the drive and I’ll have had all three of my wishes.’
I admonish him then tell him he has to find something glam and gorgeous to wear. Knowing his wardrobe, I cannot imagine what he’s going to conjure up. His job rarely calls for glamour. Michael is head of maintenance for the county cricket club, so the dress code is overalls and boots. I was delighted to discover that he’s one of those really practical men; whatever he finds – lawnmowers, cars, remote controls – you name it, he can fix it and he loves doing so. If Michael ever goes missing or doesn’t answer his phone, I know I’ll probably find him in the garage or garden completely absorbed in some repair with a screwdriver in his hand.
‘And a proper one, not the cocktail version,’ I often tell people, in case they assume he’s more like me.
As I’m tidying up Patty’s house a little before she arrives, I think ahead to the group of people who’ll be getting together this weekend and wonder how they’ll get on. It can be a little strange when other halves meet, as even very close friends pick very different partners. Charlie picked his perfect match in Peter: he always wanted to marry a guy who’d be the perfect host and that’s what he has. He makes it his mission to put everyone at ease the second they walk into their home.
This isn’t difficult with Michael who seems to have one setting – permanently laid-back and at ease. We met last New Year’s Eve when I reversed out of my drive and hit his cat. The cat was fine but I was terrified at having to explain myself to a complete stranger. I needn’t have worried, Michael was just lovely. He was so completely concerned for me and the shock I’d had that I’d taken a gamble and asked him to Charlie’s house party. We’ve been together ever since.
The doorbell rings and I rush to open it, surprised that she didn’t just barge in.
‘What’s with all the plants?’ asks Patty, noticing the key change to the house as she looks around and is greeted by a jungle of foliage. She feels the leaves to check they’re not plastic. Neither of us could ever be described as green-fingered, so the rainforest of healthy-looking houseplants is rather out of place.
‘Michael starting bringing plants every time he came to dinner,’ I explain.
‘He comes a lot then.’
‘Well, he has to visit so they get watered. He realised that fairly quickly.’
‘So what else does he tend to when he’s here? Do the mattress springs need replacing, too?’
‘Patty! You could be just a little more subtle – ask me how things are going like a normal person would.’
She just shrugs.
‘Open that wine,’ I tell her, hoping to change the subject, ‘and tell me all about the cruise.’
Patty is more than happy to have the conversation turn to her adventures and we get through three-quarters of the bottle before the conversation turns back to my life.
‘The business is going well and I still love my job. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. I’m happy,’ I tell her.
‘And how’s Zoe?’ she asks of my daughter.
‘She’s doing brilliantly. She applied for a secondment to their New York chain when Jamie got his contract out there. So now they’re both living the dream in the US of A and still totally besotted.’
‘Good for her,’ replies Patty. ‘So come on, it’s just us, tell me about Michael – are you besotted, too? How’s the love life going? Jack and I…’
I let her delight in the details of their love life and open another bottle in the hope that she forgets she’s asked about mine. No chance. As soon as she’s finished the tale of their last night at sea, she takes a gulp of wine and asks again.
‘For some people these things are private you know,’ I say, sounding more prudish than I’d intended. ‘Anyway, if you must know, we haven’t got that far.’
Patty sinks on to the sofa, eyebrows raised in disbelief.
‘You’re kidding? In over three months?’
‘It isn’t that long is it? It’s flown past. Anyway, we’re taking it slowly, getting to know each other first. We get on so well,’ I say taking my own gulp of wine and deciding to get it off my chest. ‘And I really don’t want to cock it up like I did before.’
The first relationship I attempted after my divorce was just awful. It hadn’t been long but I’d thought I should be ‘getting back on the bike’ as people kept telling me. After all, my ex had no problem in bedding someone new. I wanted to show him that I could move on, too. In the end, I rushed things and it was a complete disaster, in fact quite humiliating.
‘I just cringe when I think about that now,’ I tell Patty. ‘I think I’d give up on sex completely if I ever had a session like that again.’
‘Oh girl, it won’t be like that,’ she replies putting her arm around me. ‘You weren’t ready back then but you really seem to like this one.’
I nod, I really do and that’s why I don’t want to cock things up. So, yes, I have taken my time with Michael. Maybe it seems a long time to others but I have a picture in my head of how our first time will be and that’s what I’m holding out for. It will be wonderful – I am determined it will be.
‘Then there’s this place,’ I say trying to lighten up the conversation. ‘Everywhere I look, I imagine you still here shouting out instructions. I half expect you to jump out of the wardrobe shouting “Surprise, Surprise”. It’s hardly conducive to romance.’
Patty guffaws then asks, ‘What about his place then?’
‘You mean where his wife died?’ I reply and Patty nods in understanding.
‘No, I’ve decided to wait until I move into my new place,’ I continue, ‘where hopefully there’ll be no one to haunt me and tell me I’m getting things wrong.
In a few weeks, I move into an apartment of my own. It’ll be the first place I’ve owned alone.
‘Going to christen every room then?’ Patty teases and gets a friendly thump.
‘Stop ruining my romantic vision with your smut,’ I tell her. ‘Now get your things and I’ll see you at Charlie’s. And if you dare mention christening rooms…’
‘Cross my heart,’ she replies and does a tiny little x across her chest.
I hug her again as she leaves. Deliriously happy that the people I love most in the world are back together again, I head upstairs and turn the radio up full volume. Jefferson Starship’s ‘Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now’ fills the room and I dance along as I flick through the wardrobe deciding what I’ll wear this Saturday. Glam and gorgeous calls for a cocktail dress with masses of bling. I rout through my jewellery box and pull out every costume piece I own. I’ll probably end up looking like Zoe when she used to dress up as a little girl but, hey, I’ll probably feel just as good, too. I find an old lipstick that I never wore because it was just too glossy and leave that out, too. I doubt anything will be too glossy tomorrow. Jefferson Starship are now telling me, ‘We built this city’, and as I bellow along with them, I feel invincible. With the business going well, my best friend back and the perfect moment yet to come, this is going to be a good year, I can just tell.