acceptance: benefits of attitude of, 73; defined, 176; equanimity as cultivation of, 40; inner freedom through, 191; meditation and, 17; obstacles to, 72–73; pain and, 111, 139–40; practice steps, 178, 187; radical, 17, 24, 191; shifting awareness and, 16; simplicity cultivated through, 176–78
alignment: with beliefs, 87–88; as doing the work, 69; fear of change alleviated through, 77–79, 82; norms and, 162; noticing lack of, 112–15
Altered Traits (Richardson and Goleman), 54–55
apes, three, 46–51, 54, 58, 72, 98, 147, 190–91. See also empathic apes; imaginative apes; nervous apes
Art of Leadership training, 184
assumptions, 98
Austin (TX), 134–35
automation process, 93–94
aversion, 83–84
avoidance, 18–20, 118, 127–29, 133, 141
awareness: of breath, 118; development of, 186, 188; emotional, 69; listening and, 69–71; remembering to shift to, 83
Bay Area Theatre Sports (San Francisco, CA), 88–89
beginner’s mind, 85, 86, 87–88, 97–99, 102
Be Here Now (Ram Dass), 102
beliefs, mistaken, 98
belonging, feelings of, 123–25, 126
Big Mind, 7, 8, 24, 40, 41, 55, 60
brainstorming, 166
breathing: during giving/receiving meditation, 137–38; letting go during, 176; during meditation practice, 60–62, 63–64; noticing, 180; “one less breath” exercise, 118, 120; seeing through fresh eyes, 90–91; three breath practice, 187, 188; during walking meditation, 66
Breines, Juliana, 73–74
Brewer, Justin, 94
Brush Dance, 10, 39, 79, 113–15, 123, 124, 155
budgets, 2
Bush, Mirabai, 27
business strategy, 1
call/calling: love as, 35–36, 51, 59; refusing, 46–51
Center for Contemplative Mind in Society, 27
change: fear of, 77–79; lack of motivation for, 73; meditation and, 54–55; mindfulness and recognition of, 51–53; pain of, 126, 191; resistance to, 191; understanding, 43
Cheeks, Maurice, 139
Chen, Serena, 73–74
coaching, 146
“Collaborative Overload” (Harvard Business Review article), 161
communication, 166
company culture, 1–3, 18, 21, 151, 161–62, 165
Company Time workshops (Green Gulch Farm), 134
compartmentalization, 117, 118
compassion, 39, 58, 72, 138–39, 141. See also self-compassion
competition, 84
conflict, interpersonal, 2
connection: with discomfort, 108; human need for, 48–50, 51, 58, 125, 190–91; leadership and fostering of, 147, 155–58; practices involving, 25–26. See also Connect to the Pain of Others (Practice 5); Connect to Your Pain (Practice 4); Depend on Others (Practice 6)
Connect to the Pain of Others (Practice 5): author’s experience, 139–40; behaviors preventing (“Four Horsemen”), 127–29; common human desire for, 123–25; defined, 25; exercises, 128–33, 135–36, 139; key practices, 141; kindness offered for, 131–33; leadership and, 125–27; “looking under the hood” for, 133–36; similarities acknowledged for, 130–31; tonglen practice for, 136–38
Connect to Your Pain (Practice 4): author’s experience, 113–15, 118–19; benefits of, 107, 108–10, 119; in Buddhism, 107–8; business leaders’ experience, 105–6, 107; defined, 25, 106–7; exercises, 115–17; key practices, 119–20; through meditation, 110–12, 120; nonalignment and, 112–15; perspective maintained through, 118–19
consciousness: flow of, during meditation, 67; meditation as observation of contents of, 42–43; mindfulness and, 10; mindfulness practice and, 2, 189–90; as mystery, 47; pain and, 105; shifting, 2, 19–20
Conservatree Paper Company (San Francisco, CA), 185
control, lack of, 106
coordination, 166
creativity, 160
curiosity, 160
Dalai Lama, 123
Davidson, Richard, 54–55
deadlines, 2
death, 126
decision-making, 182–83
default mode network, 8
defensiveness, 127–28, 133, 141
denial, 117
Depend on Others (Practice 6): author’s experience, 143–45, 151–52, 155–57; benefits of, 157; defined, 25–26, 145; exercises, 152, 154, 157–58, 160, 164; group meditation for, 153–54; interdependence and leadership, 145–47; key practices, 171; leadership and, 155–58; norms for, 161–64; resistance to, 147–52, 157; work styles and, 158–60. See also meetings
desire, 191
detachment, 43
discomfort: avoidance of, 107–8; embracing, 110–11; meditation as exploration of, 120. See also pain
disconnection, 123–25, 126–27, 147–52
Discover Your True North (George), 105
dissatisfaction, 48, 50, 51, 58, 77–78, 190
doers (work style), 159, 160, 171
Dongshan, 191
Don’t Be an Expert (Practice 3): author’s experience, 91–92, 99–102; beginner’s mind and, 85, 86, 87–88; defined, 25, 92; exercises, 88–90, 92–93, 94–95, 96, 99; failure and, 88–90; key practices, 102–3; mind wandering and, 93–95; right effort and, 85–86; seeing through fresh eyes for, 90–93
Do the Work (Practice 2): alignment for, 77–79; author’s experience, 79–82; defined, 25, 59; emotional awareness for, 74–77; examples of, 69; exercises, 71, 74, 76–77; key practices, 82; listening for, 69–71; mindfulness practice for, 60–69; self-compassion prioritized for, 71–74
dualism, 7
effort: letting go of, 179–80, 188; right, 85–86
ego, 54–55
eighty-fourth problem, the (Buddhist anecdote), 176–78
Einstein, Albert, 143
email, 13
embodiment, 162
emotional awareness, 69, 74–77, 82
emotional intelligence, 20–22, 27, 117–18, 129–30, 134–35
Emotional Intelligence (Goleman), 20, 21
emotional pain, 108–9, 110, 111, 117, 119, 126, 131
emotional triggers, 76–77
emotions: communication/understanding of, 50; meditation and observation of, 42–43, 63; negative, 47; of others, 98–99, 133–36; painful, 2; unexpressed, 13, 133
empathic apes: compassion and, 72; connection sought by, 48–49, 51, 124, 190–91; human potential symbolized by, 49–50; humans as descendants of, 48, 126; space holding as challenge to, 54; tonglen practice and, 136–37
empathy: compassion vs., 138; defined, 126; depending on others and, 145; as emotional intelligence competency, 21; human capacity for, 126; leadership and fostering of, 138, 141, 147; as leadership skill, 187; resistance to feeling, 126–27; vulnerability and, 134–35
emptiness, 106
entertainment industry, 109
Essentialism (McKeown), 184–85
ethics, apathy of, 72–73
evolutionary theory, 46
exercises: Connect to the Pain of Others (Practice 5), 128–33, 135–36, 139; Connect to Your Pain (Practice 4), 115–17; Depend on Others (Practice 6), 152, 154, 157–58, 160, 164; Don’t Be an Expert (Practice 3), 88–90, 92–93, 94–95, 96, 99; Do the Work (Practice 2), 71, 74, 76–77; Keep Making It Simpler (Practice 7), 178, 182; Love the Work (Practice 1), 37–38, 50–51, 53, 57
experiencing self, 95–96, 103, 117
expertise: in business leadership, 85, 88; collaboration undercut by, 149–50; giving up need for, 85 (see also Don’t Be an Expert); meditation practice and, 84; nervous apes’ view of, 86–88
“Explore Your Story” (exercise), 115–17
facilitators, 168
facts, listening for, 70, 71, 82
failure: embracing, 88–90, 102; feelings of, 13; letting go of fear of, 84–85, 89; timeline of, 115–17, 120
familiarity, 97
fears, 58; of change, 77–79; common, 72–73; of failure, 84–85, 89; as filter, 98; as mindfulness obstacle, 83–84; mindfulness practice and understanding of, 190
“feeling miserable on purpose” (exercise), 118, 120
Fifth Discipline, The (Senge), 53
fight/flight/freeze responses, 74–76
FINE (“feelings inside not expressed”), 133
Fischer, Norman, 27, 28–29, 134
follow-ups, 169
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, 127–29, 141
Four Noble Truths, 107–8
freshness, seeing with, 90–93, 103
frustration, 13
“full catastrophe,” 15, 79–82, 186
Full Catastrophe Living (Kabat-Zinn), 15
Galvez, Zoe, 88
Gass, Robert, 184
generative listening, 70, 71, 82, 97
giving/receiving meditation, 137–38, 141
Goleman, Daniel, 20, 21, 27, 54–55
Google: author as mindfulness teacher at, 189; company culture at, 146; leadership study conducted at, 146–47, 149; Project Aristotle research initiative at, 161–62, 166; SIY emotional intelligence program at, 3, 10, 26–29, 33, 60, 115, 169
Google Oxygen leadership study, 146–47, 149
Gottman, John, 127
Grandmother Mind, 7
Green Gulch Farm, 3, 134, 139–40, 154
Greens Restaurant (San Francisco, CA), 4
Gregory, Andre, 189
ground truth, 52–53, 58, 78, 82, 161
habits, 83–84
Harari, Yuval Noah, 83
Harvard Business Review, 161
Harvard Business School, 105
health care industry, 109
heart, 49
helplessness, feelings of, 13
Holzel, Britta, 42
hopelessness, feelings of, 13
“How Does Mindfulness Meditation Work?” (Holzel, Lazar, et al.), 42
humor, 119
identification, detachment from, 43
“I failed!” (exercise), 88–90
imaginative apes: dependence resisted by, 150; dissatisfaction of, 48, 51, 190; evaluative capacity of, 72; human potential symbolized by, 49–50; humans as descendants of, 47; listening as antidote to, 54; remembering/storytelling as realm of, 96, 112; self/identity created by, 47–48; tonglen practice and, 136–37
immeasurables, four, 39–40
impatience, 13
impermanence, 126
improv theater, 88–89
independence, 147–52, 155, 157
individuality, 9
information sharing, 165
inner critic, 109
inspiration, 36
“Instructions to the Head Cook” (Dogen), 7
intention, 154
interdependence, 145–47, 148, 149, 160, 171
Jobs, Steve, 155
job satisfaction, 77
journaling, 38, 57, 63, 66–67, 82, 139, 152, 158
Joyful Mind, 7
judgment, avoiding, 71–74, 87, 175
Jung, Carl G., 105
Keep Making It Simpler (Practice 7): acceptance of problems for, 176–78; benefits of, 175–76; busyness avoided for, 180–82; career advice for, 185–87; defined, 26; exercises, 178, 182; intention of, 176; key practices, 187–88; meditation retreats for, 183–84; prioritizing for, 184–85; routines for, 182–83; three breath practice for, 187
kindness, 108, 135; offering (exercise), 130, 131–33, 136, 141
Kouzes, James, 37
Laing, R. D., 97
Lazar, Sara, 42
leadership: community/connection fostered by, 125–27, 141, 155–58; with compassion, 138–39, 141; defined, 53–54, 55, 141, 145; expertise and, 85, 88; helping others as, 186–87; interdependence fostered by, 145–47; meditation and, 17; mindfulness and, 53–57; models of, 88. See also mindful leadership; mindful leadership, seven practices of
Leadership Challenge, The (Kouzes and Posner), 37
leadership skills, 20, 53–54, 77, 146–47
Leading from the Emerging Future (Scharmer), 70
letting go, 175–76, 179–80, 187, 188
listening: with beginner’s mind, 97–99; exercises, 71; as leadership skill, 54, 147, 187; levels of, 70, 71, 97; mindful, 33–34, 65, 106, 134; open, awareness cultivated through, 69–71, 82; quality of, 97, 103
“looking under the hood,” 133–36, 141
loss, 126
love: defined, 38–39, 46; of “the work,” 34–36; types of, 35, 39–40, 58
Love the Work (Practice 1): author’s experience, 56–57; as calling, 35–36, 46, 51, 59; creative gaps and, 51–53; defined, 25, 41, 59; exercises, 37–38, 50–51, 53, 57; key practices, 57–58; love as defined in, 34–36, 38–40, 46; mindful leadership and, 53–55; mindful listening and, 33–34; obstacles to, 46–51; practicality of, 34–35; values exploration for, 37–38; way-seeking mind and, 56–57; work as defined in, 41–42
lust, 83–84
Machado, Antonio, 175
Madison (WI), 105–6
Marcus Aurelius, 110–11
marketplace strife, 2
Maslow, Abraham, 57
Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), 70
McClatchy, J. D., 33
McKeown, Greg, 184–85
meditation: areas transformed by, 54–55; author as teacher of, 84, 117–18, 134–35, 155–57; author’s experience, 16, 153–54; awareness involved in, 33; benefits of, 6–7, 17–18, 42–43, 53; Big Mind cultivated through, 8; expertise and, 84; FAQs about, 64–65; giving/receiving, 137–38, 141; group practice, 153–54; gym metaphor for, 60–61; integration with everyday life, 22–23; leadership and, 17; letting go during, 175–76; letting go of extra effort, 180, 188; listening and, 33–34; mindfulness and, 23–24, 58; on pain, 110–12, 120; practicing, 43–45, 61–62, 63–64, 82; retreats for, 183–84, 188; in SIY program, 27, 28–29; staring through, 16–17; time required for, 152; walking, 63, 65–66, 82, 93; work of, as conspiracy, 36
meetings: common disdain for, 164; evaluation exercise for, 170; goals of, 165–66, 167; mindful culture resulting from, 169–70, 171; mindful leadership and, 143–45, 164–65; organizing, 166–68; running, 168–69
micromanaging, 146–47
Mill Valley Zen, 155–57
mind, 49; beginner’s, 85, 86, 87–88, 97–99, 102; of nervous apes, 86; wandering, 93–95, 103; way-seeking, 56–57, 58
mindful leadership: benefits of, 8–10, 14–16; conspiring in, 36; defined, 145; depending on others and, 151; mindfulness and, 2; need for, 19; obstacles to, 18–20, 46–51; popularity of, 2; Zen origins of, 7–8
mindful leadership, seven practices of: benefits of, 14, 76, 88; described, 25–26; development of, 3–6, 26–29; emotional intelligence and, 20–22; how to use, 24–25; importance of, 2–3; naming of, 23. See also specific practice
mindful listening, 33–34, 65, 106, 134
mindfulness: author as teacher of, 84; beginner’s mind in, 85, 87–88; benefits of, 6–7, 77; change recognized through, 51–53; defined, 10, 55, 86, 106; empowerment of, 10–14; etymology of, 83; leadership and, 2, 53–57; meditation and, 58; need for, 19; obstacles to, 18–20, 69, 83–84; point of, 23–24; popularity of, 2; promise of, 16; as remembering, 83–84; in SIY program, 27, 28–29; work of, 36, 41–42; as workplace skill, 10–11
mindfulness practice: author’s experience, 78; awareness developed through, 186; benefits of, 71–72, 77–78, 189–91; collaboration and, 160; dedicated, 60, 62–67, 82, 144–45; defined, 160; in everyday activities, 22–23; goals of, 190; historical appeal of, 7; integrated, 60, 67–69, 144–45; norms and, 162; point of, 24; psychological safety developed through, 162–63; right effort in, 85–86; work practice aligned with, 78–79; in Zen monasteries, 4–5
mindful work, 6
My Dinner with Andre (Gregory), 189
narrative self, 95–96, 103, 117
Neff, Kristin, 72
negativity bias, 47
nervous apes: dependence resisted by, 150; exercise involving, 50–51; expertise as viewed by, 86–88; human potential symbolized by, 49–50; humans as descendants of, 46, 109; self-preserving characteristics of, 46–47, 72, 74–75, 190; thinking as antidote to, 54
nonachievement, 86
norms, 161–64, 165, 166, 171, 185
O’Brien, Bill, 59
“Observing Pain” (guided meditation), 111–12
obstacles, 2
old age, 126
Oliver, Mary, 90
“one less breath” (exercise), 118, 120
opportunity, missed, 12
organizers (work style), 158–59, 171
other people: compassion for pain of, 39, 141 (see also Connect to the Pain of Others); depending on, 145, 151 (see also Depend on Others); emotions of, 98–99; helping, as leadership, 186–87; “looking under the hood” of, 133–36, 141
overthinking, 12
pain, 16; avoidance of, 118; benefit of, 108–10, 119; breathing in, 137–38; of change, 126, 191; connecting to, 106–7, 119 (see also Connect to Your Pain); emotional, 108–9, 110, 111, 117, 119, 126, 131; learning from, 11–12; of others, compassion for, 39, 141 (see also Connect to the Pain of Others); trust developed through, 124; universal human experience of, 126, 133–34; use of term, 106
parenting, 157
passivity, fear of, 72
people person (work style), 159–60, 171
perspective, maintaining, 118–19, 120
planning, 166
Plantronics (Santa Cruz, CA), 169–70
Plato, 135
political strife, 2
Politics of Experience, The (Laing), 97
popular culture, 155
Posner, Barry, 37
potential, missed, 12
power, giving away, 12–14
present moment, 12
prioritizing, 184–85
problems, transformation of, 176–78, 187
problem solving, 165
productivity, 77
psychological safety, 162–63, 171
reactivity, avoiding, 74–77, 147
relationships: behaviors preventing survival of (“Four Horsemen”), 127–29; interdependence and, 149; mindful leadership practices focusing on, 25–27; nonexpertise in, 96–99; with self, 87; self-protection in, 150–51; with stress, 182; vulnerability experienced in, 149–50
remembering, 83–84
“reperceiving,” 43
resistance, 147–52, 157, 171, 191
response, appropriate, 67–69, 78, 79–82
restlessness, 83–84
Richardson, Shina, 114–15
Rutgers University, 78
sadness, 106
San Francisco City Center, 3
San Francisco Zen Center: author’s experience at, 3, 16, 22, 57, 78, 140; financial support for, 8; meditation practice at, 153; mindfulness practice at, 22–23
sati (mindfulness), 83
Scharmer, Otto, 70
Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute, 181; author as CEO of, 3, 28, 129, 151; company culture at, 151; founding of, 3, 28; mindful leadership practices at, 29; mission statement of, 129; open-leave policy at, 151–52
Search Inside Yourself program: author as teacher in, 60, 89; companies participating in, 169; development of, 3, 10, 26–29; exercises used in, 37, 89, 115, 129–33
“Seeing Similarities” (exercise), 130–31
self: alignment with sense of, 113; experiencing vs. remembering/narrative, 95–96, 103, 117; imagination and creation of, 47–48; loosening sense of, 54–55; relationship with, 87
self-awareness, 7, 20, 130, 145
self-care, 13
self-compassion, 69, 71–74, 82
self-confidence, 145
self-esteem, 73
Senge, Peter, 53
sensations, 42–43
separateness, 126–27, 147–52, 190
sickness, 126
similarities, seeing (exercise), 130–31, 136, 141
social media, 13
social skills, 21
Social Venture Network (SVN), 123–24, 125
Soto Zen School, 191
Stanford, John H., 37
staring, 16–17, 18, 52, 56, 106
stonewalling, 127–28, 133, 141
storytelling, 96
success, 9, 37, 84–85; creativity and, 160; timeline of, 115–17, 120
suffering, 107–8. See also pain
sympathetic nervous system, 47
Tan, Chade-Meng (“Meng”), 26–27, 28
Tassajara Zen monastery: author’s experience at, 3–6, 8; collaboration at, 160; group meditation at, 154; meetings at, 143–45, 164–65; norms at, 162; pain experienced at, 108; work and mindfulness practice at, 4–6
Theron, Charlize, 155
Thinking, Fast and Slow (Kahneman), 95–96
thoughts, meditation and observation of, 42–43, 63
threats, 47, 49–50, 51, 72, 74–76, 98, 109
three breath practice, 187, 188
timeline, creating, 115–17, 120
to-do lists, 187
Tokyo (Japan), author’s retreat in, 99–102
Toward a Psychology of Being (Maslow), 57
transitions, 168
triggers, 76
trust, 124, 134–35, 144–45, 161–63
uncertainty, 2
understanding, 138–39
unhappiness, 93–94
University of Massachusetts Medical School, 94
University of Parma (Italy), 48–49
vacations, 151–52
visionaries (work style), 158, 159, 171
vulnerability: connection resulting from, 134–35; feelings of, 13; interdependence and, 149–50; love and, 46; team norms and, 161–63
walking, 91–92
walking meditation, 63, 65–66, 82, 93
Whyte, David, 189
Wise Mind, 7
work: defined, 41–42; doing, 59, 69 (see also Do the Work); ground truth in, 52; love of, 34–36 (see also Love the Work); mindfulness practice aligned with, 78–79
Working with Emotional Intelligence (Goleman), 21
World Health Organization, 110
Zen Buddhism, 148; generosity as core practice of, 144; meditation practice in, 61–62; way-seeking mind in, 56; workplace integration of, 39
Zorba the Greek (Kazantzakis), 15