I didn't expect to live this long, not this long without Sue. She was the light of my life and sometimes I think this dark is going to last forever. Gotta say, though, I have found ways to get through, to be happy in this time without her. I know, things change.
Like me. I've had to adapt. People in the old days had to learn new stuff, trains, phones, all that. I'm making my way. When the kids presented me with the idea of using a computer, I balked, but they brought the dang thing right in the house with us and so, I got curious.
Learned it, although one day when it came up with some message about me committing some Fatal Error, I got on the horn and called Dave up at work. Luckily he was in the office and not out driving the truck or I'd'a said a couple things to Teri that a woman doesn't need to hear.
"Kid! If you don't get home pretty damn quick here and help me with this thing I'm gonna take a hammer to it. Then I'm goin' on to Walker's computer next door, smash it, and then wherever. This crap has gotta stop!" I meant it, too. I was so mad!
Dave told me to take a walk on the beach until they could get home. So they got me on board with it all and now I help other people. Like my friend Kit in that care center where I'm going next week. I'm over eighty but I'm not done yet.
Something Annie doesn't know about yet. I met Magda at the Fair. In truth, I met Magda some years ago when she was at Sophie's Cabins, probably about 1980. About the time I met Annie.
I liked her then, but I was married and I didn't fool around. Besides, she was at least twenty years younger than me. She was married too.
Maybe she flirted with me then because of my blue eyes. Like Paul Newman, I'd like to think I'm more than a pair of eyes. She did flirt with me though, not seriously, but enough so that when she showed up at the Bug Exhibit looking for Annie we sort of recognized each other.
"You look familiar," she said.
"Oh, you say that to all the bug guards," I teased, and then reminded her of her beach visit about thirty years ago.
"I can't believe it! You remember me after all these years? I don't even look the same! I was skinny." Her voice boomed, making the bugs jump.
She does look different, has put on a few pounds. Looking good. I shook my head at her, and said, "Still look the same to me. Better. I like a woman with a bit of meat on her bones. Bones are for a dog, the meat is for a man."
That stopped her in her tracks, for a minute, and then she laughed.
That was what had attracted me way back when, the boom of her laugh. The bugs didn't like it, I could see them getting nervous. I took her elbow and moved her away from the cages, over to a bench by the open doors.
She sat down. I sat right beside her so I could hear her over the noise of the carnie rides outside the door.
She didn't move away. "I'm sorry," she said. "Your name? It's been a long time." I started to tell her, but she put her hand on mine where it was resting on my leg.
"No, let me guess. It's unusual, but not."
I kept my hand right where it was, didn't want to waste the moment. It's been a while since I've felt the warmth of a flirty hand on mine. I watched Magda's face twist comically.
"Joe? No, common, but not." Her brows folded, before she smiled widely. "Sam! For Sampson! The guy with the hair! The strong guy."
I put my other hand over hers, squeezing gently. "Well, I'm older but I'm still strong. Strong enough for normal purposes."
"Oh, Sam." She'd pulled her hand from mine and was now pushing my chest with it, soft like. She even colored a bit. "Uh, how's Sue? Isn't that your wife's name, Sue?"
"Yes. It was. I mean, she's been gone for a long time now. Died some years ago."
"Oh! I'm sorry, Sammy. I liked her. She was a jolly soul. Made our time at the cabins really nice."
That reminded me that she'd not been alone on that vacation, but not with a husband, but her husband's sister. Joan, that was her name.
"So, how is Joan?"
Her eyebrows rose. "You remember her name?"
"I didn't forget yours, Magda. So how's her brother? The guy who picked you girls up?"
She laughed again. "You sly dog. You are still so cute. My husband Tommy?" She pushed her hair off her forehead and ran her fingers over the top of her head. "Wow, warm isn't it!" She straightened, leaning her head away from me. "Aw, he's okay. He's gone a lot. I quilt a lot. We get along okay."
"Well, I'm sorry to hear it. Where does he go?" I couldn't help grinning.
"He's a fishing nut. All the time. We have a boat. I sometimes think the boat has him. He doesn't even like to eat fish. He just fishes. Whatever's running, he's out there chasing it."
"You get lonely?"
"Just cut right to the chase, eh?"
"Sounds like you're alone, but not? Does he have a gun? Do you play around?"
Magda stood and held out her hand to me as if to give the old guy a helping hand up, if he needed it.
I didn't. My turn to laugh. "Just thinking of your options. Quilting's great. Mom Sophie made her living quilting, but I always thought she needed a boyfriend. You know, to take jars off lids, and stuff."
"If I remember right that was the name on the cabins, but seems to me that your mother's name was Amy?"
Before I could answer, she continued. "Tommy is a good guy. He's just not there. Never has been. About a year ago he took off on that boat with a friend of his. They went to Mexico to fish and are still there. He's not much on phoning. Heard from him on New Year's Eve. He was drunk. Lord! No, I'm not lonely. I have my quilt friends. I'm busy. And for the most part, happy."
This was a funny conversation to be having by the open door of the Jackman Long Building. I brought it back to why she'd come over to the Bug Exhibit in the first place. "Weren't you looking for my cousin, Annie?"
"Annie's your cousin? What a coincidence. Maybe that's why she seemed familiar to me. You do share a slight family resemblance." She stared at my face. "In the cheekbones. Kinda Nordic, or is it way back Indian?"
Lord, she was starting to go woman on me, wanting to examine the details. "I don't know. We can talk about it later, if you want. Right now I need to get back to my Bug Protecting Detail. Some of us have to work, you know." I broke us a path through the mess of people heading out the door. "About Annie. You want me to give her a message?"
"No, I'll call her. I have her number. We have a quilt to talk about."
"I'll be staying with her next week, so perhaps we'll meet again." I wasn't going to let her slip away from me twice. The other time had not been a possibility but, now, here, I sensed something. "Maybe you could give me your number? Do you ever come to the coast, anymore?"
"I live in Willamina. Quite a ways from Cannon Beach, but not so far, if a person wants to swing by."
I didn't like to have to say this. Dammit, I hate getting old! "Look, the fact is, I don't drive anymore." We moved through a clot of people. I was glad for the diversion.
"Okay." She smiled, and when we got to the Bugs, she gave me a hug. "I think we can figure out a way to meet up again. I'll be calling Annie. You tell her I was here. This is for you." She gave me her card. "You will hear from me."
She walked away and I stood there, by the bugs.
Hmmm. Did what just happened, really happen? Is she still flirting with me, after all these years? I walked over to a couple looking at the Exhibit. "These are Hissing Madagascar Cockroaches, you know," I told them, feeling like I needed to talk to someone, tell them something. I'd liked feeling important even if it was only for a few minutes.
When they walked away, looking at me like I was a little strange, I decided it was time for me to go to my camper and start packing, check my wardrobe. I've got a nice blue shirt that I know the ladies like.
Wonder if I brought it along.