IT HAD BEEN TWO MONTHS since Seil-kor’s departure and we were impatiently awaiting his return: with preparations for the gala now complete, we feared that boredom, thus far kept at bay by rehearsals or playing our stock market, would soon regain its hold.
Fortunately, a wholly unexpected event provided a powerful distraction.
One evening, Sirdah came to tell us of a serious incident that had occurred earlier that day.
At around three o’clock, an ambassador from King Yaour, crossing the Tez in a dugout, had been admitted to Talou’s hut, where he relayed some glad tidings: the sovereign of Drelchkaff, having got wind of events in Ejur, keenly desired to hear the emperor sing in falsetto, dressed in his fabulous attire. He would unconditionally grant Sirdah’s cure if the blind girl’s father consented to get up on the Incomparables’ stage for him and sing Dariccelli’s Aubade in his female voice.
Flattered by the request and delighted at the prospect of restoring his daughter’s sight so cheaply, Talou was already formulating an affirmative reply when Gaiz-duh—for such was the Negro ambassador’s name—came forward and whispered some secret revelations. The supposed desire so ardently expressed was merely a ruse to allow Yaour to freely enter Ejur at the head of a sizeable entourage. Aware of Talou’s pride and predicting that his fearsome neighbor, wishing to dazzle his guest, would receive him surrounded by his entire army, the king planned to catch the enemy forces in a trap in the relatively confined space of Trophy Square. While the populace of Ejur would be drawn to the esplanade by the performance, the Drelchkaffian army would cross the Tez on a makeshift bridge of dugout canoes, then spread around the capital like a human cincture and invade the square from all sides at once. Just then, Yaour would give his entourage the signal to attack, and the Ponukelean warriors, squeezed as if in a vise, would be massacred by their fierce aggressors, who among many advantages would have that of surprise. As clear victor, Yaour would proclaim himself emperor, reducing Talou and all his lineage to slavery.
Gaiz-duh thus remorselessly betrayed his master, who had been rewarding him poorly for his services and often treated him cruelly. As to the price for this information, he deferred to Talou’s generosity.
Taking advantage of this forewarning, the emperor sent Gaiz-duh back with the mission to summon King Yaour the next day at sunset. Scenting in advance a magnificent recompense, the ambassador went off filled with hope, while Talou was already formulating in his head an entire plan of defense and attack.
The next day, on the emperor’s orders, half the Ponukelean troops hid in the vegetation of the Behuliphruen, while the rest took shelter in small groups in the huts of Ejur’s southernmost quarter.
At the appointed hour, Yaour and his entourage, led by Gaiz-duh, stood in a dozen dugouts and crossed the Tez.
Posted on the right bank, Rao, Mossem’s successor, awaited their landing; he led the king to Trophy Square, where Talou was waiting for him unarmed, decked out in his feminine toilette and surrounded by only a handful of guards.
On his arrival, Yaour glanced about him, looking disconcerted by the absence of the warriors whom he expected to catch unawares. Talou walked before him, and the two monarchs exchanged greetings that Sirdah, who remained with us, translated in a murmur.
First, Yaour, ill concealing his discomfiture, asked if he wouldn’t have the pleasure of seeing the handsome Ponukelean troops, reputed far and wide for their courage and proud bearing. Talou replied that his guest had come a little before the designated hour, and that his warriors, presently adjusting their finery, would assemble on the esplanade momentarily to enhance the splendor of the performance with their presence. Reassured, but fearing he’d roused the emperor’s suspicions with his imprudent question, Yaour immediately feigned preoccupation with trifles. He began extravagantly admiring Talou’s outfit and announcing his keen desire to own one just like it.
At these words, the emperor, who was seeking an occasion to gain time until the enemy army’s arrival, abruptly turned toward our group and, through Sirdah, ordered us to find in our trunks an outfit similar to his.
Accustomed to playing Goethe’s Faust on all her tours, Adinolfa ran off and returned after a moment, cradling in her arms the gown and wig she wore as Gretchen.
At the sight of the gift he was being offered, Yaour emitted yelps of joy. He laid his weapons on the ground and, thanks to his extremely svelte build, easily donned the gown, which fastened above his loincloth; then, putting on the blonde wig with its two thick braids, he took several majestic steps, evidently thrilled by the effect his bizarre get-up produced.
Suddenly there came the sound of an immense clamor outside the square, and Yaour, sensing a betrayal, quickly leapt to his weapons and tried to flee with his entourage. Only Gaiz-duh, switching to the ranks of his enemies, joined with the Ponukelean warriors who flew off in pursuit of the king, following Talou and Rao. Immediately attracted by the exciting spectacle taking place before our eyes, all of us ran in the same direction and soon reached the southern border of Ejur.
We could easily piece together what had just occurred. The Drelchkaffian army, following the royal directive, had crossed the Tez on a bridge of canoes; just as the last man set foot on the right bank, Talou’s forces, with a rallying cry, had surged simultaneously from the huts of Ejur and the bushes of the Behuliphruen to encircle the foe on all sides, profiting from the very tactic Yaour had envisioned. Already the ground was littered with Drelchkaffian casualties, and victory for the emperor’s men seemed assured.
Yaour, still decked out in his gown and wig, had bravely thrown himself into the fray and fought alongside his men. Armed with a lance, Talou rushed him, carrying his train on his left arm, and a strange duel was fought by these two monarchs of carnavalesque appearance. At first the king managed to parry several thrusts, but soon the emperor, after a clever feint, drove his shaft into his opponent’s breast.
Disheartened by the killing of their chief, the decimated Drelchkaffians lost little time in surrendering and were brought to Ejur as captives.
All the corpses except Yaour’s were thrown into the Tez, which dutifully washed them out to sea.